Chapter 1
April 1879
My dear Gray,
Pack your bags, Cousin, and prepare to return home no later than June eighth as I
shall be married on June ninth. You are, no doubt, surprised as I have always said
I shall be quite long in the tooth when at last I take a bride and I have scarcely
passed my twenty-fifth birthday. Marriage was not a state I was seeking, at least
not yet. As you have likely gathered from my letters, I have had quite a good time
of it up to now. I freely admit that there was a moment here and there, perhaps more
than one, when I came perilously close to irrevocable scandal and one can only credit
the prayers of my mother that I managed to avoid complete social disaster. But, on
occasion, fate takes a hand and cannot be denied. The perfect woman has swept into
my life, much to the delight of Mother and Father, and marriage is no longer the sentence
it once appeared.
She is exquisite, Gray, everything I ever imagined I wanted in a bride in one delectable
package. Her hair is the color of darkest night, her skin like the finest porcelain,
her eyes rival the rarest sapphire. And yes, I do realize I have never been especially
poetic in the past, but she brings out the long slumbering poet in my soul. Even her
name—Miss Felicia Abigail Constance Whitingdon—falls like poetry from the tongue.
In a practical sense, she is indeed a perfect choice. Her lineage is impeccable, her
education acceptable, her reputation unblemished. She is the only child of Viscount
Whitingdon and as such will inherit a substantial fortune upon his demise. Her dowry
is most impressive and though this is not necessary, it will nonetheless be appreciated
as Miss Whitingdon is so obviously not a frugal sort. She has a penchant for fine
jewelry and the latest fashions from Paris, and who can blame her? One would scarcely
put an artistic masterpiece in a shabby frame.
We are a perfect match, Gray. Everyone says so. Why, ours is being lauded as the most
brilliant engagement of the season, which doesn’t matter at all, of course, although
it is rather amusing. There are those, you know, who assumed I was headed directly
to hell.
The wedding itself is to be a grand affair here at Fairborough Hall and perhaps a
bit more ostentatious than I might have preferred, although it has been pointed out
to me that, given our stations, such a display is to be expected. I must confess,
I find merely the discussions of what is required for a fete such as this to be daunting.
But it is all in the capable hands of Mother, Felicia’s mother and, of course, the
bride herself. Father and Lord Whitingdon are wisely staying out of the path of these
forces of nature, as am I.
Do come home, Gray, and help me survive my nuptials. I need my cousin, my closest
friend, by my side. While I have the courage, my stamina is in question. You will
like Felicia. She is beautiful and amusing, really very clever, and all I could ever
ask for. We shall get on quite well together.
Father thinks she is delightful....
“You do realize . . .” Winfield Elliott, Viscount Stillwell, drew a deep breath and
chose his words with care, sending a silent prayer of gratitude toward the heavens
that, at the moment, he was more shocked than angered, although he suspected anger
was not far off. He tried again. “You do realize Fairborough Hall is filled nearly
to overflowing with guests of your family’s and mine?”
“Of course I do.” Felicia waved off the comment.
“And each and every one of them is expecting a wedding.” Win stared.
“Tomorrow.”
“I realize that as well.” She shook her head and sighed. “It is most awkward.”
“Awkward?” His voice rose.
“Awkward?”
“If you are going to take that tone with me, Winfield Elliott, I shall leave this
house at once.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “And you shall have to deal with
this awkwardness without me.”
Win clenched his jaw and tried to remain calm. “Then perhaps you could desist referring
to all this merely as
awkward
.”
“Very well.” She shrugged. “How would you prefer I refer to it?”
“I don’t know,” he snapped. “I have never been told on the day before my wedding by
my intended, that while she was quite fond of me, she much preferred to marry someone
else, thank you very much!”
“Goodness, it’s not as if I have left you waiting for me at the altar. That would
be most embarrassing.”
“Ah well then, I do thank you for that.”
“Sarcasm, Winfield, will not make this any less difficult.” Her brows drew together
over her sapphire eyes. “And I should think you would indeed be grateful for that.”
“Grateful?” He sputtered. “
Grateful?
” In his twenty-five years he didn’t think he’d ever sputtered. Never imagined he
could. Why, his father sputtered. And Colonel Channing from Millworth Manor sputtered.
And a number of older gentlemen at the club in London his father had insisted he join,
as his grandfather had belonged and his father before that, sputtered. Indeed, Winfield
Elliott was the kind of man who caused others to sputter in disbelief or surprise
or, on occasion, shock, but he certainly never sputtered himself. “Grateful that you
did not actually leave me standing at the altar?”
“Well, yes.” She tucked a stray strand of midnight-black hair back into place. “I
had hoped to make this as painless as possible.”
“For whom?”
“For both of us,” she said sharply. “This is not exactly what I had planned, you know.”
She turned away and meandered around the perimeter of the library in a manner entirely
too casual for the occasion. As if the topic of discussion was of no more importance
than whether they should picnic near the lake or by the rose garden. It was as disconcerting
as the discussion itself. “I fully intended to marry you.” She trailed her fingers
over the edge of the desk. “I certainly wouldn’t have allowed all these preparations
otherwise.” She glanced at him. “And I am sorry.”
“Well, as long as you’re sorry.”
Her brow furrowed and she stared at him. “You’re really quite surprised, aren’t you?”
“Surprised is the very least of what I am.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“Come now, Winfield, it’s not as if you were in love with me.”
“I was not . . .
not
in love with you.”
“What exactly does that mean?”
“It means that I fully expected to love you someday. I expected love between us to
grow.” Somehow, that didn’t sound quite as good as he’d thought it would. “I like
you a great deal.” Oh yes, that was much better. “I thought we were well suited to
one another.”
“Yes, well, there was that.” She cast him a pleasant smile. “I must admit, the idea
of spending the rest of my days with you was not the least bit daunting. Indeed, it
had a great deal of appeal.”
He shook his head. “I don’t understand any of this.”
“Nonsense, Winfield, of course you do. You’re simply letting the . . . oh, I don’t
know . . . sentimentality of the moment confuse you.” She continued her casual progress
around the room. “But even you admit you and I were never a love match.”
“No, I suppose not.”
“So, although we do like one another—and make no mistake about it, I do like you—”
“Imagine my delight,” he muttered.
She ignored him. “Our marriage was more of a practical matter, almost a business arrangement,
really.”
He stared. “That’s rather cold.”
“Granted, it’s not quite that callous and, as I said, I do like you.” She thought
for a moment. “But I’m certainly not in love with you, nor are you in love with me.”
“I could be,” he said staunchly.
“But you’re not. Tell me, Winfield.” She pinned him with a firm look. “Does your heart
flutter when you hear my voice or your eyes meet mine?”
“Well, no but—”
“And when I kiss you, do your toes curl?”
“Not that I have noticed but—”
“Nor do mine. And Winfield . . .” Her gaze met his firmly. “Can you imagine living
the rest of your life without me?”
“No,” he snapped.
She raised a brow.
“Perhaps,” he muttered.
“Of course you can. This would be an entirely different matter if we were in love
with one another, but as we aren’t . . .” She shrugged.
“Are you in love with him then?” He strode across the room, yanked open the bottom
drawer of the desk where his father had long hid a bottle of his favorite Scottish
whisky, as his mother did not especially approve of hard spirits. He grabbed the bottle
and one of two glasses stored with it, and poured a glass.
“It’s rather early in the day for that, don’t you think?”
“No, I don’t.” He took a long swallow. “Indeed, on the day before your wedding when
your fiancée informs you there shall be no wedding, I don’t believe there is any such
thing as too early in the day.” He glared at her. “Do you?”
“I suppose not.”
“And you have yet to answer my question.” He wasn’t sure why he cared, why it seemed
rather important to him. And yet it did. “Are you in love with him?”
“Well, that’s the point, isn’t it? I’m no more in love with him than I am with you,
but I am confident I will be one day. I suspect he is in love with me, which is a
delightful idea.”
“One wouldn’t think he would come all the way here to propose marriage on the day
before your wedding to another man if he wasn’t.” He considered her for a moment.
“Unless, of course, he is interested in your inheritance.”
“Nonsense. He already has an impressive fortune and is heir to a dukedom. If anything,
I am interested in his prospects, not the other way around.” She shook her head and
sighed as if he was entirely too simple-minded to understand. “Even in this modern
day and age, women like myself of good family are expected to make the best match
possible. It’s the way women improve themselves. And as Harold’s uncle is a duke,
and he is his uncle’s only heir, his elderly uncle, it only makes sense for me to
marry him as you will only ever be an earl.”
“So you have found a better way to improve yourself than by marrying me?”
“Exactly.” She cast him a satisfied smile. “Besides, he claims to love me, whereas
you only plan to love me. All in all, Winfield, even you must admit Harold is a much
better choice.”
“You do realize you have broken my heart,” he said in a manner even he knew was perhaps
more dramatic than necessary.
“Nonsense, I don’t believe that for a moment. If I did . . .”
“If you did, what?” He sipped his whiskey and studied her.
“If I did . . .” She drew a deep breath. “I probably wouldn’t have had the courage
to break it off with you directly. I didn’t have to, you know. I simply could have
failed to appear at the wedding or sent you a carefully worded note. But your affections
are not overly engaged and you well know it.”
He narrowed his eyes.
“It’s your pride that is, well, not broken exactly but bent a bit, wounded perhaps.
As is to be expected.” She considered him thoughtfully. “Therefore if you wish to
let it be known that the cancellation of our wedding was my doing, I would certainly
understand, although . . .”
“Yes?”
“Well, I would much prefer if the rest of the world did not know I was the one who
broke off things between us to marry a man with better prospects.”
He snorted. “In spite of the fact that you are.”
“I know that and you know that, but there’s no need for others to know.”
“I daresay people will notice when you marry Mr. Hedges-Smythe.”
She waved off his comment. “Oh, I have no intention of marrying Harold any time soon.
We shall wait a suitable period.” She frowned. “I should think three months would
be long enough, don’t you?”
“No.” He huffed.
“Perhaps you’re right.” She considered the question. “Six months would be better.
I would hate to appear shallow.”
“We wouldn’t want that.”
“Sarcasm, Winfield.” She shook her head. “It would reflect poorly on you too, you
know. My being seen as shallow and preferring one man over another simply because
of his title. Why, you might even be viewed as somewhat pathetic. At the very least,
people will wonder whatever were you thinking.”
“I’m beginning to wonder that myself,” he said under his breath. Still, there was
no need to make this worse. He drew a deep breath. “I would propose then that we simply
let it be known that by mutual agreement, we have decided not to wed.”
“That will do nicely.” She paused. “I do appreciate it, Winfield.” She hesitated.
“This is not as easy for me as it might appear. I am exceptionally fond of you as
well. I certainly wouldn’t have agreed to marry you otherwise. But I do have to think
of my future and, well, you have my sincere apologies.”