Lord of the Runes (26 page)

“It isn't something I want known,” Magnus said. “I don't want the people to panic. I want to meet him in a place well away from here. I can do that by helping Eirik with as many of my men as I can summon now. We both win.”

“You both win. How nice. And if I refuse, what will happen to this alliance of yours?” Magnus and Eirik started to speak, but she continued. “Oh, don't worry. As I told Eirik, I know my duty. That of any woman. It's all we're good for, I suppose. I'll do my part and go through with this marriage if it will help Thorsfjell. I protect it with my body when I fight with my sword. I can give my body for it in marriage as well. But I want something in return. I'm not happy with any of you right now. I can have revenge on all of you, or I can go with you when you leave and spend my need for revenge on Hakon. It's your choice.”

“I don't know how I got dragged into this,” Leif said behind her as she slammed out of the room.

She had to get control of herself. In the dark quiet of her chamber, she sank onto the bed. But it wasn't so much anger, as fear that had driven her outburst.

Oh gods. She would marry.

Eirik.

She'd told him things no one but her brothers knew, and yet he hadn't turned away from her. Speaking the words should have torn her apart, made everything worse. Instead, as she'd spoken to him, a weight had lifted off of her and onto his broad, strong shoulders. He'd said his sister cried and talked, letting out her anger and fears, and it made her feel better. Would that help her?

Magnus had told her long ago not to talk about it. She hadn't. She'd never even cried over it. At the time, she'd been too numb, too shocked, and too worried about Magnus to be concerned for herself. But then time passed and everything had gone back to normal. Except her. The pain still simmered inside of her, like festering in a wound that had healed over on the outside, but not on the inside. It had been poisoning her all these years.

Who would she have been if she'd overcome this? Would she have still needed to fight, to release the anger the only way she knew how? Or would she have been a noblewoman, lauded for her grace, her wealth, and her beauty? Would she have been married by now, and had her own household and family? How much had Hakon taken from her? How much had she, herself, given up?

How much had she lost?

Grief fountained through her and she couldn't hold it back any longer. Great choking sobs broke loose from deep within her and she curled into a ball, shaking. All that might have been, and yet was not, sped away from her into a past she could only imagine, lost forever. She closed her eyes and let it all burst from her.

Then strong arms gathered her up. Eirik. He'd sat down beside her on the bed and she hadn't even noticed. She tried to push him away. He couldn't see her like this. He was a warrior, like she was. She had to be strong. Had to be . . . But he held her closer and she gave in to his strength, resting her head on his chest.

“Cry, Asa. Let it out. That's what my sister does and it helps her. Just let yourself go. Cry as much as you need. I'm here to catch you, and I always will be.”

She cried. For everything she'd lost and for all the things she could not even dream of that Hakon had taken from her. She cried for the innocent young girl who had died inside of her that day. She cried for Magnus, who was so young himself and had nearly given his life for her sake. And she cried for the future, for the love she might never be able to give to a fine man who professed to care for her.

But there, in the darkness, a hope grew in her. She was exhausted and empty, but with that emptiness came a feeling of lightness, as though a great burden had passed from her. She lay in Eirik's arms and he eased them both down onto the bed. He drew her beside him, her head on his chest, and pulled the furs up over them both.

“Sleep, Asa. I'll guard you through the night and we'll face the new day together.” He gathered her closer and it was so right to be there in his arms, safe and warm.

Snuggling against him, she smiled. “Already you think you can order me around.”

He chuckled. But she did as he asked. Sleep, born of the easing of her pain, drifted around her. And for once, no dragons awaited her.

* * *

The dragon had protected Asa again. She'd eaten the mushroom-laced stew and it had seen the danger and warned her. But there was no time to try again.

Estrid moved through the shadows of the night to meet with Hjellmar. Stupid, angry Hjellmar. She'd overheard the marriage arrangements. Eirik was lost to her now. Asa had captured him with her power and he would never be free.

But they'd also said Hakon was in the south, in Hordaland. He had been away from Asa long enough to have shaken off her influences. Now he could love her once again as he had before Asa lured him away. She just needed to get to him, and that's why she needed Hjellmar.

It wouldn't take much to convince him he should come away with her.

Once they got there, she would cast him aside and go with Hakon. Her warning to him about the alliance and their plans to attack him would make him love her. And she'd have revenge against Magnus and Asa when Hakon lay in wait for them and destroyed them.

They could take the wealth of two villages for themselves and leave here and go where no one knew them. Ireland, perhaps, where her mother was.

She would have everything she wanted. Magnus and Asa's deaths and, best of all, freedom from this place. She could find her mother and live in the wealthy holding she'd told Estrid about when she was a child. Her plan was perfect.

Hjellmar was waiting for her in a small house at the end of the road. She'd have to suffer his touch once again, but not for long. She glanced at the wound on her hand where she had given her blood to the gods. When she found Hakon, she'd have much to be thankful for, and Hjellmar would pay for his audacity for touching her.

The gods would receive a far bigger sacrifice this time.

* * *

“Asa, I need to speak to you before I leave. Alone.”

Asa turned away from the door where she'd been watching the men preparing to leave for the waiting ships. In the three days since she'd learned of the plans for her and Eirik to marry, they'd been so busy helping with packing that they hadn't had much chance to talk together. Eirik was leaving in a short time, along with Leif and several of their warriors.

They'd travel to Trøndelag and then return here with Rorik's fleet and pick up the remainder of the men of Thorsfjell. And her. They didn't dare leave her behind after her threats. She wasn't worried about that. Eirik wanted her to go with him, but Magnus wouldn't allow it. He remained with her, saying he needed to be sure she was safe. They'd certainly come back for him.

Eirik took her hand and led her into her sleeping room. He hadn't come in since the night he'd comforted her. Now it was much too small as he shut the door.

“Asa, while I'm gone, you need to decide whether or not you want me.”

Gods, he looked so beautiful in his fine clothes, his long golden hair washed and shining, his magnificent sword at his side. For a moment, she didn't realize what he'd said. But as the words came to her, she blinked.

“I don't understand. You've arranged everything with Magnus. It hasn't been witnessed yet in the
handsal
, but that's merely a formality at this point.”

He ran his hand through his hair, brushing it back over his shoulder. “That's just it. Magnus and I
have
arranged it. But I've had a few days to think about it.”

Her breath left her. Was he saying he'd changed his mind? Her legs gave out and she sat down hard on the bed. He crossed to her and sank down beside her.

“I don't want to marry you against your will, Asa. I can't. I know you had no choice in this and that's sometimes how it is. I don't want that for you, and neither does Magnus. This has to be your decision as well.”

Her heart beat again. He wasn't rejecting her. The lightness blossoming in her at the realization startled her for a moment.

“What of the alliance? Right now we both want revenge against Hakon, but what about afterward? Magnus could use your support in the south as well as in the north, especially with this unknown man in the area. He might have something to do with the man who killed the jarl in the village in the next valley. I can't endanger Thorsfjell by backing out.”

His smile was gentle and wry. “Do you think I would risk Thorsfjell myself? I've lived here all these months and have come to care about the people here. You saved my life. The village has become another home to me. I could never abandon it. The alliance will stand, on my end at least. Magnus will have my support. This decision is yours, and yours alone.”

Something was missing here. “I don't know how you can offer us this alliance. Who are you to do this?”

He took her in his arms. “When you next see me, you'll know. And I'll know how you've chosen. In a few days' time, Magnus and his men will wait for us on the beach below. I'll bring my cousin and meet them there. If I don't see you with them, waiting for me, then I'll know you don't want me and all our plans to attack Hakon will continue on as before.”

Wrapping her hair around his fist, he tilted her head back so she had to look at him. “But if I see you there, you'll be mine from then on. No one, not even your brothers, will keep you from me.”

Lowering his head, he kissed her. He ran his hand up her side and cupped her breast, still holding her so she couldn't move away from him.

She didn't want to. She leaned into his hand and returned his kiss. For the first time, she smoothed her hands over his arms and up to his wide shoulders. They were like iron under his clothing. She combed her fingers up under his hair, holding him as he'd captured her, and she gripped the silken strands, determined to never let him go.

He broke the kiss and let his hand slip away from her. He took her wrists and held them. “Think long on this, Asa. For once you're mine, I'll never free you. I don't care what our laws say.”

Letting her go, he stood, gave her another small kiss, and left. She stayed where she was, her body humming, her mind blazing. Touching her breast where his hand had been, she smiled. Just now, while he had been with her, Hakon's shadow hadn't come between them. Could she be free of him finally? Could she be the wife Eirik would want her to be? That she wanted to be?

She had to see him again, to tell him she'd already decided. But as she rushed out of her room, Magnus came in through the front doors.

“They've gone. I've sent as much cargo as I can with them this trip so we won't have so much to move later. I sent your dragon along, as well.”

Her heart sank. They were both gone, then. Eirik and the dragon. It seemed appropriate. And perhaps it was better this way, for if she saw the carving, it would bring back too many memories and she would only miss him that much more.

She didn't need a few days to think about whether or not she wanted him. During the winter, he'd become not just a part of Thorsfjell, but a part of her. Just as the runes were carved into the dragon, so, too, was Eirik scored into her heart.

When he sailed back up the fjord, she would be waiting for him on the beach. It didn't matter who he was, or what wealth he had. She was his.

She went into the weaving room to clean up her workplace and keep busy. The space where the dragon had been born under her knife looked too empty now. It wasn't the only thing missing. As she worked, she caught herself listening for the sound of Eirik's voice coming from the common room, and for his laughter joining that of the other men's as they told tall stories over ale in the afternoons. There was no going into the meals any longer, hoping to see him there at one of the tables.

It was clear how much he had melded into her life without her noticing it. It had been so natural, so right. And now, he was gone.

Her foolish daydreams weren't getting her work done. She examined her tools, for she would have to sharpen them before she carved again. But when, and where, would that be? Would she ever create another dragon like this last one? Would the people of Eirik's village accept her talents and weapons skills the way her own people had?

Going back to work, she inventoried her wood to see what she might need. It was almost midday when Birgitta came in.

“Mistress, I don't want to bother you, but no one has seen Mistress Estrid all day. And no one can remember seeing her at the evening meal yesterday either.”

“That's odd. She rarely misses meals. Have you looked in her room?” She set down a piece of maple. With the betrothal on her mind, and the preparations for Eirik and Leif's departure, she'd forgotten to mention her suspicions about Estrid's guilt to Magnus. But then, she hadn't had much more than a feeling. That feeling grew.

“No one wanted to go in there without her permission.

“You did well, Birgitta. I'll go take a look.”

When she entered the tiny room, it was empty. Much of Estrid's clothing, shoes, and jewelry was gone. Certainty grew in her, but she needed more proof.

There might be something in one of the chests that would tell the tale, and give them an idea of where she'd gone. Asa lifted the lids of two of them, but there were only odd pieces of clothing and worn-out items. She opened the third one. It held a length of cloth. She picked up the fabric to check under it and a small leather bag fell out from between the folds.

She opened the drawstring and looked inside. There was powdery residue on the bottom and she sniffed it. A sickly sweet odor hit her and she almost dropped the bag. Death Cap mushroom. She would never forget the taste or smell.