Loose Women, Lecherous Men (54 page)

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Authors: Linda Lemoncheck

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Page 216
Conclusion
We face the task of learning how to use our own conflicts constructively,
affiliatively, and pleasurablyas sources of pleasure precisely because
they can be tools for forging new understanding and new forms of affilia-
tion.
Marianne Hirsch and Evelyn Fox Keller,
"Conclusion: Practicing Conflict in Feminist Theory"
Feminists continue to disagree over the extent to which individual women may be complicit in their own sexual oppression and the oppression of women as a class. We also differ over what kinds of experience can liberate women individually and collectively to define the terms and conditions of our sexual lives. I have suggested in this book that such disagreements often paint a picture of women's sexuality in mutually exclusive terms: women's sexual choices are
either
the product of an oppressive gender politics
or
the site for a self-defined sexual liberation for women. I have argued that a more representative picture of women's sexuality reveals diversity, complexity, ambiguity, and contradiction in individual women's lives. I have argued that such features reflect a dialectic in a woman's sexual experience between the individual and institutional forces of her sexual oppression, on the one hand, and the possibilities for her sexual exploration, passion, and pleasure, on the other. From this perspective, the profoundly feminist assertion that the personal is political is less an equivalence than a fluid and dynamic relationship between a woman's individual
 
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pursuit of her own passions and preferences and her social responsibility for making decisions that do not contribute to women's sexual oppression under conditions of institutionalized male dominance.
I have contended that the perspective of the "view from somewhere different" is an epistemological framework that provides a way of thinking and talking about women's sexuality that captures the dynamic between the personal and the political within and among women. Such a framework recognizes the strengths of a feminism that situates women's sexuality within a cultural ideology that devalues and subordinates women to the advantage of men. Yet it is also a framework that advocates raising our consciousness of this ideology as a first step in the pursuit of women's sexual creativity and power, which along with women's freedom from sexual subordination would allow individual women to determine for themselves how sex and sexuality figure in their lives.
This perspective informs a sexual ethic of care respect that recommends treating women and men as the agents and defining subjects of our sexual experience in actively caring communities of both shared and conflicting interests. This ethic recommends a general application of the principles of care respect to our sexual lives at the same time that it encourages persons to regard sexual relationships as uniquely confounded by the politics of gender. My contention is that sex is not merely a matter of taste, because sex is such an effective tool for the harassment, humiliation, and abuse of women. Power and control are moral issues; thus, our moral sensibilities must be engaged to examine those specific and unique ways in which systemic gender hierarchies turn a woman's sexuality into a vehicle for her oppression and the oppression of women as a class. A sexual ethic of care respect from the "view from somewhere different" is designed as a guide, but not a decision procedure, for considering the meaning, value, and practice of the sexual lives of persons who may be very differently situated from one another. Thus, the "view from somewhere different" can provide a context and a legitimacy for a variety of sexual experiences, preferences, and desires in both women and men and can provide feminists of diverse theoretical backgrounds with a common frame of reference from which to advance our dialogue in women's sexuality. This advance is essential if we wish to represent ourselves as offering constructive voices in different women's lives instead of the unacceptable extremisms often disseminated by feminism's detractors.
This means that we will have to become more comfortable with conflict in the absence of clear resolution and accept compromise or consensus only when it is understood that consensus does not require stasis or sameness. It is much easier to fall back on the "view from nowhere" or the "view from somewhere better," because neither requires the energy and effort of "world"-traveling. On the other hand, being all things to all people is an impossible task not lost on critics of the "view from everywhere.'' However, from the "view from somewhere different," living with partial coalitions or uneasy alliances need not be divisive, when consensus is not the ultimate goal and when conflict resolution can be oppressively elitist and dismissive of difference. As Raymond Belliotti writes:
Rather than regretting the loss of fixed foundations and authoritative trumps of reason, we should revel in increased opportunities for freedom and collective deliberation.
 
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Further, we should not assume that convergence of opinion is the necessary goal of rational discussion. . . . [O]ur institutions should not strive to eliminate ideological and political conflict; rather, they should rechannel controversy as a way to invigorate social life.
1
Moreover, by emphasizing the importance of negotiating the tensions among feminists from a wide variety of theoretical and practical perspectives, the "view from somewhere different" is useful for advancing the dialogue across a broad spectrum of feminist concerns. Such concerns reveal themselves in conflicts over the meaning and value of essentialist claims in feminist theorizing; debates over the place of analytic reasoning and objectivity in women's studies curricula and feminist academic discussion; differences of opinion over whether and how psychoanalytic theory should be used to explore women's oppression; exchanges over the benefits and risks of new reproductive technologies such as in vitro fertilization, embryo transfer, and embryo freezing; and tensions among feminists of differing sexual preferences over what counts as an affirming and expansive sexuality for women.
2
The "view from somewhere different" recommends that all such feminists "world"-travel to the perspectives of those from whom we differ and to remember that ours are not the only "worlds" worth knowing. In this way women and men may build a connectedness without striving for commonality or unanimity, where Marianne Hirsch's and Evelyn Fox Keller's "new forms of affiliation'' may be formed and lived.
The "view from somewhere different" encourages us to think of any one woman's metaphysical "self" as both enduring and unstable, since it is a self whose identity as an agent of change is an important element in her capacity for liberation. From this perspective, a woman is in constant flux between the ideological forces that shape her sexuality and the self-consciousness of those forces that can ground her sexual subjectivity and agency. Adopting the "view from somewhere different" means recognizing that gender can be a liberating force in women's lives and that sexuality can be an oppressive one, depending on the context and culture in which the dialectic between gender and sexuality is played out. I believe it is beside the point to wonder what "good sex" means for women outside the current patriarchal constraints that circumscribe our sexuality. Rather, it is up to feminist theory and practice from the "view from somewhere different" to give us an epistemology and ethic that can work within current parameters to forge new pathways for women's sexual freedom, creativity, and satisfaction.
A common framework for thinking and talking about women's sexuality may strike some feminists as uncomfortably presumptuous and inevitably universalizing, necessarily silencing some of the very voices within the discourse that such a framework is purportedly designed to recognize. On the contrary, I am convinced of the necessity and the possibility of a single philosophical perspective from which a variety of issues in women's sexuality can be explored. Indeed, the framework is designed to be simultaneously theoretical and practical in its efforts to facilitate conversation and collaboration. Without feminist praxis to ground theory, such a framework too readily dissolves into the rallying cry of an intellectual elite; without feminist theory to inform practice, feminists cannot credibly argue for structural changes in social policy. In the preceding chapters I have contended that feminist tensions within dis-

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