Looks Over(Gives Light Series) (26 page)

"Then that cop comes back, tells us you were taken away from her.  Your dad goes into overdrive mode.  Says he's going to find you and bring you home.  I told him not to leave the reserve.  I told him you'd be pissed if he got in trouble.  I said I'd go looking for you instead.  So he showed me how to use that--"  He waved his hand, annoyed.  "Beepy thing--"

I grinned.

"Shut up," he said, bashful and testy.  "Mary and I went to that Angel city place and knocked on pretty much every door.  Talked to the kids from your old school, too.  We brought Balto along, figured he could help us pick up on your scent.  The cops pulled us over at one point."  A smile threatened to spread across his face.  "Mary told them she was an illegal immigrant running a trafficking ring--"

"Me gusta," Mary said.

"--and they got fed up with her, but then Balto started growling and they kind of backed off, the wusses.  Anyway--no luck, so we went to the next city.  Mary said I should page you and let you know where we were.  I didn't know that it would work.  Those damn phones are about as hard to write on as the computers are."

I hid my smile, lest he think I was picking fun at him.  I watched the highway sliding past the windows.  I watched Danny in the rear-view mirror and saw him fast asleep, wrapped in a spare blanket.

"Where were you?" Rafael asked.  "I mean, where did they take you?"

I shot him a teasing smile.  I rooted around in my duffel bag for a schoolbook to write in.  Something told me this was going to take a while.

18

Staccato

The stars were like jewels in the sky, and they shone the brightest over Nettlebush.  Or maybe I was so happy to be home, I could only see its beauty.

Mary parked Gabriel's car in the parking lot outside the hospital.  Rafael scooped Danny out of the back seat and helped him to the ground.  "I can walk," Danny reported.  "And I'm hungry now."

"You've gotta get checked out first," Rafael said gruffly.

"I'm gonna go find your dad," Mary told me.  She winked, her grin the grin that mothers fear.

Rafael and I walked Danny up the hospital steps.  "You should've eaten the cupcakes," Rafael said.  We walked through the entry doors and the receptionist, Ms. Bright, gawked at us.  Or maybe she was gawking at Balto.  It's not everyday a coywolf strolls in for a checkup.

We sat in the waiting room and I rubbed Danny's back, concerned.  I tried feeding him an apple from my duffel bag.  "No, I want frybread," he said.  Balto eyed the apple with interest.

Danny took a paper and crayons from his backpack and sat drawing Wovoka in long and loopy lines.

"You like drawing?" Rafael said.

"Yes."

"Can I show you something?"  Rafael ran his fingers through his hair, searching, no doubt, for the colored pencils that always rested behind his ears.

The two of them drew together, Rafael showing Danny a shortcut for sketching faces.  A nurse came into the waiting room and called Danny's name.

The nurse, I realized, was Rosa.  She dropped her clipboard and took Rafael and me into an emotional hug.  Rafael looked flustered.  Rosa pat Danny on the head--maybe so he wouldn't feel left out--and sweetly, silently, led us to an exam room.  She left us with Dr. Stout, who listened to Danny's vitals and took his blood pressure.

"Water poisoning!" Dr. Stout shouted, much in the same way that a man who has uncovered the secrets of the universe might shout them from the comfort of his home.  Unless he's greedy and just wants to keep them to himself.

Rosa slipped back into the examination room.  She beckoned for me with a crooked finger.

I looked at Rafael, and he swallowed my hand up in his.

"We're going outside," he told Danny.

"Okay," Danny said.  "Bring back frybread."

Rafael and I went out into the tiled hallway, where Dad and Granny awaited us.

Granny wasn't a very affectionate woman.  She was kind, in her own way, but strongly reserved.  She practically wrote the book on Shoshone reticence.

So it surprised me when she took me at once into her arms, patting my head with a quavering hand.

I hugged her, firmly; because it wasn't her fault, because it was okay now.  She started to pull away.  I dipped my hand into my duffel bag and pulled out a spindle rolled in silver taffeta.  I'd bought it back in Heavenly Hills; I'd thought it made a nice gift, especially for a woman who spent most of her time at the loom.

"Thank you," Granny said curtly, and took the fabric from me with imperial grace.

"I'm gonna see if I can find frybread," Rafael murmured.  He edged past us.

"Cubby," Dad said.

I know it's foolish; but suddenly, I felt safe.  Dad reached out to hug me, and I leaned into his embrace, and I felt like I was five years old; I felt like I'd felt when I was a small child, when Dad was the biggest thing on the planet and nothing could reach me without contending with him.

Dr. Stout stuck her head through the doorway.

"Any of you know the number for the Paiute tribal office?  The kid's asking for his papa."

Dad let go of me reluctantly.  "I do," he said.

Dad and Granny and I went to the receptionist's desk, Balto following dutifully.  Dad claimed the phone and dialed the number for the Pleasance Reserve, Ms. Bright looking on with annoyance.  I took Granny's hand between mine and rubbed it.  I swear she almost smiled.

"Skylar!"

Annie burst through the hospital doors, closely followed by Mary.  Balto wagged his tail and bent his front legs, ready to pounce.  Dad cupped his hand around the mouthpiece of the phone.  Annie lunged at me in a hug that would have floored me if she were a foot taller.  I caught her and twirled her.  Before I knew it, we were dancing, Balto jumping and barking and trying to keep up.

"Outside!" Ms. Bright commanded.  "This is a hospital, not a gymnasium!"

We went out onto the ramp outside the hospital just as Rafael came back with a plate of frybread.  He nodded in passing and went through the doors to Danny.

"I never, ever thought this would happen to someone on our reservation," Annie said. 

I'm just lucky like that
, I signed.

Dad and Granny came outside a moment later.  Dad leaned down and pet Balto's head.

"Aisling wants to keep Danny for observation," Dad said.  "At least until his father gets here."

"I don't understand," Annie said.  "Why exactly are they allowed to take us from our homes?  For no good reason?"

Dad shook his head helplessly.  Annie flared up.  Times like these were when she showed her temper.

"We might as well go home," Granny said, and she shuffled down the stone steps without waiting.

"Oh, well, if you must," Annie said.  She briefly grasped my hand.  "I'll see you tomorrow, Skylar.  That is--you are going to school tomorrow, aren't you?"

"He is," Dad answered for me.

Darn.  I was hoping I could get out of it.

"You have a good night, Annie," Dad said.

Dad had started down the steps after Granny when I touched his arm, nodding toward the hospital doors.

"Of course," Dad said.  "Go say good night to Rafael."

I grinned--was I really that obvious?--and hastened through the sliding glass doors.

Rafael was standing outside an in-patient room--Danny's new room, I guessed--and chewing on a stick of gum.  He looked up when he noticed me and started toward me.

"That kid's kinda cool," Rafael said.  "I'm glad you kidnapped him."

I rolled my eyes and slugged his elbow.

"You leaving?"

I nodded.

"I'll see you later," Rafael said.

I smiled, bemused.  Later?  It was already nighttime.  Tomorrow was a school day.

"I'll see you later," he said stubbornly.

There was no winning with Rafael.  It didn't matter, I guess, because with Rafael, even losing felt like winning.  I leaned up and kissed his cheek.  He grinned, abashed, and shoved my shoulder.

I dropped in on Danny to wave good night and he waved back, his mouth full of frybread.  I left the hospital afterward and found Balto waiting for me on the front steps.  I ruffled his ears and we went home together, side-by-side.  Even before I walked through the front door, I felt well-rested.  My wandering was over.  I crossed the threshold and felt the heat of the hearth licking my skin.  Dad and Granny and Zeke were sitting in the sitting room, Granny reading a magazine.

Wait a second.  I stopped and stared.

"Hi!" Zeke said.  "You're back!"

There was a cot set up in front of the fireplace.  Zeke was sitting on the floor, legs folded, playing cards in his hand.

I waved, bewildered.

"Zeke is staying with us for a while," Dad said awkwardly, meaningfully.  "Just until his father...sorts things out at home."

"Yeah, uh, but I won't be in your way," Zeke said.  "Wow, I forgot how blond you are."

I ran my hands through my hair, mussing it up, and smiled.

I wasn't remotely tired when I went to bed that night.  To begin with, I was so happy to be back in my own bedroom that I only wanted to sit up and stare at the photos on my closet door and the dreamcatcher above my window, the bags of medicinal herbs at the foot of my bed and the California or Bust poster opposite and drink in every detail.  But it was more than that, too.  It was paranoia.  I was prepared for the police to come take me away again.  I was already envisioning my next escape plan; how I would pay for the bus fare, how I would find an Amtrak if I wound up sent to another state.  Could they do that?  Send me to another state?  I knew they'd done it to Danny.  It kind of made me mad that Granny wasn't allowed to take me out of state, but a total stranger was.

A beam of light streamed past my window.  I sat up, curious.  I pushed open my window and peered at the ground, and there I saw Rafael, a flashlight in his hands.

"Told you," he hissed.

I pulled on a fleece jacket and eased myself out the window.  I gripped the side of the log cabin and climbed to the ground.

Rafael shut off his flashlight.  I felt, more than saw, his eyes on me, raking all over me, and his subtle smile shining through the darkness.  And I could only smile at him, like a stupid, stupid fool. 
Hi.  I am in love with you.

He reached for me, in an almost impatient way, and I yielded, as I'd known I would.  His mouth against mine was demanding and needy; my mouth against his was gentle and compliant; and it felt good, it felt better than anything I could remember.  I kissed him, an unforgiving staccato, and where my teeth pulverized his bottom lip, my tongue followed in soothing strokes, soothing away the pain.  He made a small sound in the back of his throat, a hitched breath; his tongue slid against mine; stars sparked behind my eyes, my hands curving to the contours of his face.  The battle broke, and my heart flipped; he kissed me slowly, so slowly, like he was savoring every second, his hands on my waist, my stomach tingling, my temples pounding with dizzying blood. 

It was bittersweet when we broke apart, Rafael's forehead pressed against mine.

"Me, too," he mouthed against my lips.

I slid my palm against his--warm, rough--I tangled our fingers together, mine long, his hard.  I didn't care about breathing.  I just wanted to kiss him again.

"You wanna go somewhere?"

I considered.  There was the starfield, where the flowers, blue stars, closed at dusk and opened at dawn.  There was the promontory in the badlands, one of Rafael's favorite places--not one of mine, for safety reasons.

I hooked my hand around his.  He lumbered after me as I started walking the path to the church.

"The cupola?" he asked, confounded.

I shook my head.  I led him around the back of the church to the graveyard gates.

Rafael clicked his flashlight back on.  "You're nuts," he accused.  "What do you want with a cemetery in the middle of the night?"

I tossed him an amused smile, eyebrows raised.  He wasn't afraid, was he?

"Don't be stupid," he said hastily.

He
was
afraid.  He jumped when the old, creaking gates swung shut in the wind with a loud bang.  I snickered soundlessly.

"If we anger the dead..."

I couldn't believe my ears.  I gave Rafael a consoling pat on the shoulder and he took a swing at me, disconcerted.  I stole his flashlight and walked along the first row of graves.  Rafael scurried after me, glancing over his shoulder.

I found her a few rows back from where I'd expected her to be, which could only mean one thing--she had lived to a very old age.  I knelt down and revered her, lost in time.

"Taken Alive.  1851 - 1949.  They did not take her spirit."

I touched the weather-worn headstone.  I felt I had to thank her, remorseful though her memory was.  The suffering she had endured was the only reason my family existed.  And to think that this was her burial place, the only place on Earth where she and I could simultaneously coexist...  I wanted to talk to her.  I wonder how many of us really think about that; the trials our ancestors faced, the stories they passed down to us, lying dormant in our blood.