Looking For Trouble (14 page)

Chapter 18

A
fter circling around the crowded block several times, Alexandria finally found a parking spot. She waited for a moment before turning off the engine, debating whether or not she should call Peter and ask him to come join her. She'd been going back and forth about what she should do. Her instincts, along with her mother's good advice, told her that she needed to end her relationship. But the compassionate part of her had a hard time making that decision, because she knew all too well what it felt like to be dumped by someone you cared about.

After several minutes of contemplation, she decided to give things between them one last try. “All right, here goes.”

Peter picked up on the second ring. “I thought you'd be here by now,” he said, sounding slightly annoyed.

Alexandria ignored the frustration she heard in his voice. “My day got off to a late start, then I went over to my parents' and stayed quite awhile. I just left, and with a container full of my mom's triple chocolate-chip cookies.” She hoped that last part would lighten the mood.

“Uh-huh . . . so, are you on your way?”

“Actually, I was hoping we could hang out tonight.”

Peter breathed heavily into the phone. “I had hoped we could spend a quiet evening here and finish our discussion from last night.”

“What more is there to discuss?” She wanted to move forward, not backward, and now she had a feeling she was going to regret dialing Peter's number.

“Our relationship, Alexandria. How about that for a start?”

“I can tell by your tone that you're pissed, so I'm not sure that's a good idea, given that it's very hard to talk to you when you're like this. That's why I was hoping we could put last night behind us and hang out and have some fun for a change.”

“So you don't think we have fun?”

“You interpret everything the wrong way. Why are you being so negative?”

“You're the one who said it, not me.”

“I'm trying to give us a chance, Peter. Can't you see that?”

The line was quiet, with neither of them saying a word. Alexandria finally spoke up and said, “I was hoping you could meet me at the Lazy Day so we can—”

“You know I hate that place,” Peter interrupted.

Alexandria moved the phone away from her ear and looked at it as if to say,
What the hell?
Now she was becoming upset. “You don't see me getting all geeked up about going to soccer games with you, but I do it because I know it's something you enjoy.”

“I thought you liked soccer.”

“Peter, when have you ever heard me say that?”

“Well, you've never said you didn't.”

“When we first started dating, I told you that soccer wasn't my thing, but I'd go with you if you wanted me to, and I have, without one single complaint. You don't even play the sport, but I go to those long, boring games because you enjoy watching it. I eat and breathe spoken word, yet I've practically had to drag you to the Lazy Day on the few occasions you've bothered to come. And the entire time you're in the audience, you sit there like you're sucking on a lemon.”

“I don't remember you saying you didn't like soccer.”

She noticed that he completely sidestepped the point she'd just made, and his insensitivity rubbed against her nerves. “Have you even been paying attention to me? Have you been listening to me at all?”

“If I had known you didn't like coming to the games with me, I would've never asked you to. I don't think you should expect people to do things you know they don't like.”

Alexandria could only shake her head. The fact that Peter had the nerve to say what had just come out of his mouth let her know he was completely clueless. His comment also spoke volumes about his willingness, or lack thereof, to compromise.

Alexandria knew from watching her parents that husbands and wives often did things they didn't necessarily want to do in order to make their spouse happy. Her father had once told her, “If you love someone, Alexandria, you'll do what you can to make that person happy because the smile he'll wear will end up being your own.”

A tidal wave of emotions mixed with reality came crashing down on Alexandria. She'd often wondered why she had stayed in her relationship with Peter for so long. Why had she put up with his regimented lifestyle? Why had she made excuses for and purposely overlooked his lack of consideration? And to top it all off, why had she tolerated his inability to make love to her the way she wanted and needed, always leaving her sexually unfulfilled? Now as she stood at the gateway of truth, she knew the reason she'd accepted those shortcomings—it was because she was scared, and he was safe.

With Peter, she didn't have to dig too deep or go too far because those exercises required effort and sometimes pain, and she'd had no interest in delving into either. He was predictable; and in a world that had been filled with random voices and spirits she couldn't control, she needed something steady to anchor her in normalcy. But what she hadn't known until today, after coming full circle with her mother, was that she had an anchor all along and didn't even know it.

Her small car had become stuffy with her thoughts, along with the absence of a running air conditioner, so she stepped outside into the sticky heat of the night. She took a deep breath, looked up into the black sky, and smiled. It was nothing less than beautiful. Shining stars beamed down from above and made her shiver. A feeling came over her that could only be described as love. It was warm and different from the summer heat saturating the air. It was close to the same feeling she'd experienced while driving down Peter's street.

As she continued to stare into the sky, Alexandria thought about how glad she was that she'd called Peter, after all. Their conversation had proven beyond a doubt that everything tied to the other end of her phone was over.

“I think you're wrong, Peter,” Alexandria said. “When you love someone, you do things for that person because you want to see them happy.”

“How about my happiness?” Peter retorted.

“It's always about
you.
You're so selfish. Grow up and act like a man!”

“So now you're challenging my manhood? What the hell's wrong with you? I've bent over backward, trying to understand you. It's like a job trying to figure you out.”

Alexandria smiled into the phone. “Don't worry. This is one shift you won't have to work anymore.”

She pressed the end button on her phone and headed down the street toward the building that held her future.

 

“It's great to see you, Alexandria!” Kyle greeted her in his thick British accent. “Where've you been hiding, luv?”

Alexandria knew right away that Kyle, the manager of the Lazy Day, had had one too many drinks. Whenever he was loaded, his accent seemed to grow heavier. Tonight it was so pronounced that he sounded as though he'd swallowed the entire cast of
Downton Abbey.
His thick red hair and light smattering of freckles defied his olive-toned skin, which on most redheads would have been pale and burned, thanks to the unrelenting Georgia sun. But in many ways, Alexandria knew that Kyle was the exception to nearly every rule, just as she was.

“I've had a lot going on. But I'm back,” Alexandria responded, accepting Kyle's wet, bourbon-drenched kiss to her left cheek.

“And looking as lovely as eva.”

Alexandria could see Kyle's blue eyes roaming her body. If she'd known she was coming to the club tonight, she would have worn something other than the denim shorts and hot pink cotton T-shirt she was sporting. She was glad she'd had an extra pair of strappy stiletto sandals in her backseat. She'd doubled back to her car and slipped them on her feet just before walking into the club. The shoe's unique shape and added height accented her thick thighs and shapely legs, giving her a carefree, sexy edge.

“Thanks for the compliment, Kyle,” she said with a hint of a smile. “How's it going tonight?” They were standing to the side of the stage, nodding and giving light hugs to familiar artists as they walked by.

“It's poppin' as you'shal,” Kyle slurred. “The house is packed and the crowd is hyped.”

Alexandria surveyed the large, dimly lit room and could see that it was indeed packed, maybe even more than most Saturday nights she could remember. “Think you can fit me into the lineup?” Alexandria knew that regardless of how many artists were scheduled to appear onstage tonight, Kyle would make sure she was one of them. She was just that good, and she knew that he knew it, too. Still, she wanted to be respectful and never act as though she was full of herself.

“Are you bloody kiddin' me? Hell yeah!” he said with excitement. “It's been a whole month since we've seen your beautiful face or heard you spit some wisdom for us mere mortals fortunate enough to live in your world.”

“Kyle, you're too much.”

“I'm serious as a fuckin' heart attack, luv. You know I don't bullshit.”

Just then, Cheryl, a tall, blond-haired waitress, with a build befitting a
Muscle & Fitness
model, walked by. She was carrying a tray full of drinks with the ease of a professional.

“Don't mind if I do,” Kyle said as he reached for a drink.

Cheryl swatted at Kyle's hand. “Connie has her eye on you, so slow your roll.”

Alexandria exchanged a knowing glance with Cheryl as they watched Kyle back down into submission.

Connie Mallet was the owner of the Lazy Day, and also Kyle's longtime girlfriend. In their case, mixing business with pleasure worked very well. Connie was the brains of the operation, and Kyle was the tough brawn.

“You better not misbehave,” Alexandria teased. “Connie don't play!”

“So what are you going to perform tonight, anything new?” Kyle clearly wanted to change the subject and get back to her performance.

Alexandria had asked to take the stage, but she hadn't thought about what she would perform. She usually knew exactly what she was going to say and do, but tonight was unplanned. All she knew was that she needed to be there. So she surprised herself when she told him, “Yes, I have a new piece I'd like to try.”

Where did that come from?
she thought.

“All right!” Kyle said. “I'll introduce you after the Dead Poet.”

Alexandria knew that meant she had less than five minutes to take the stage, because the artist known as the Dead Poet was about to finish up. She had an arsenal of pieces she could perform, but she didn't have anything new. In fact, she hadn't written anything in her journal in weeks. Now she had to scramble to come up with something good, especially since she had to follow an artist like the Dead Poet, who always brought down the house with his performances.

Just as she was gathering her thoughts, she heard applause from the crowd and saw the Dead Poet take a bow. He winked at her as he exited the stage in her direction.

“Sister Alexandria, so good to see you again,” the Dead Poet said with a genuine smile.

Alexandria had always admired the man's oration and performance skills. Tall, dark, and handsome, he didn't have to say a word to mesmerize a crowd; his good looks did that trick. But when he spoke, it was magic.

“I'm doing well, Poet.” Alexandria smiled as she received his full-body hug.

“We've missed you, sister.”

“I've missed being here.”

Before they could exchange more pleasantries, Alexandria heard Kyle's voice revving up the crowd.

“It's been a while, but this phenomenally gifted lady is back!” Kyle bellowed. “Please give a warm Lazy Day welcome to the beautiful and talented Alexandria.”

“Do your thing out there,” the Dead Poet said.

Alexandria slowly walked onto the stage, smiling as she heard hands clapping in a vigorous rhythm, which formed applause. She felt good standing before the crowd. The only problem was that she still didn't know what she was going to say. She closed her eyes and suddenly she heard the now-familiar voice of her great-great-grandmother whisper into her ear.

Alexandria felt the truth of Grandma Allene's words. She thought about what she wanted, and what she desired. She opened her eyes and looked out upon the packed crowd. The lights were down low; the large room was so quiet, you could hear cotton fall to the floor. She took a deep breath and began to speak.

“How y'all feelin' tonight?” she asked.

There were various responses, including one person who yelled out, “Ready to hear you drop somethin' on us!” The crowd roared and clapped again.

Alexandria smiled and nodded her head. “You know, life is funny,” she said. “I had other plans tonight, but something deep within my soul spoke to me and I ended up here, on this stage, and I know this is exactly where I'm supposed to be.”

A woman in the crowd belted out a hallelujah, while another raised her hand silently pumping a power fist into the air.

“I asked Kyle if I could perform tonight, not knowing what I was going to get up here and say. I haven't written any new pieces, and I don't want to repeat some of the ones I've already performed. So I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to take my great-great-grandmother's advice. She's been guiding me lately,” Alexandria said with a chuckle. “Grandma Allene, as we call her in my family, whispered into my ear, and she told me to speak what's in my heart. She said to say what it is that I desire, and watch it walk into my life.