Looking for Love (27 page)

Ella looked at him and then at
her friends. She had to think. She couldn’t be pressured into this
with everyone watching
, as much as she felt touched by Ross doing this
for her, for expressing his love so sweetly. I mean, who had two
such touching love confessions in one lifetime? She was a lucky
girl.

Yet
…

“
I do think I love
you
, Ross.
But I’m not ready to say yes. I have to think. I can’t have you all
staring at me waiting for an answer. I have a removal van coming in
less than two hours. Where are you going to live? Where am I going
to live, then? How do I know for sure that I’m the one for
you?”

He stroked her
hand, love in his eyes, love so gentle yet so strong that she had
to look away.

Her head spun. The emotions were
too much. What if she couldn’t give him what he promised her? What
if she failed like her
mom and dad and broke his heart?

“
I
don’t know if I can be that person,” she
continued. “I need to find me. Need to let go my pursuit of finding
this man and find my life. I’ve just let go the search only weeks
ago and now this.” She pulled away, slumped on her seat, and buried
her face in her hands.

“
I’m sorry.
I can’t do this.” The failure
dripped from her voice.

The room seemed to fill up with her
friends’ silence and her guilt, yet she couldn’t move, couldn’t
look up, couldn’t even think. When eventually she did look up,
they’d all left. Probably wise of them but heart-breaking. Had she
hurt everyone? How involved had her friends been in the whole
thing? How much had Ross paid for the slide show? It wasn’t Mickey
Mouse. Had to have been designed by a professional.

She clicked replay and watched
it through again. Ross promised her forever. Maybe he could be a
Mrs
. Sarah
Lemmer to her Frank heart. Maybe he could be that stabilising
factor in her shifting soul because she knew she had her mom and
dad in her. That meant she could be doomed for failure. But what if
it wasn’t so much who you were but who you chose to be?

It wasn’t so
much who you matched up with, but who you became, how you acted,
the decisions you made each and every day.

Frank
had chosen to break that pattern in
his life and gone on the course. He’d changed. Become a better
person. Jane had already been that person. She could make just
about any relationship work. Yeah, sure, Ella had messed up so many
relationships, even the potentially good one with Dirk, but
couldn’t she have a second chance? Ross was willing to be that
second chance. He’d seen all the mess-ups she’d made through the
years—many of the broken relationships had been caused by her own
stupidity, yet he still loved her. And she still loved him. She
ached now to think of how he must be feeling. Where was he? In the
other room? Driving down the road? Given up? Desperate?
Hurting?

Like she’d been ever since she’d decided
to leave him. Because deep inside, the only thing pulling her to
Durban was her dad. She’d dreaded leaving. Hated going away from
Ross. But she’d thought it was the only way to save them from
themselves. Save him from her and her bad genetics.

She watched
the slide show again. He believed in her. He believed she could
make it last. Didn’t a marriage proposal mean the person believed
in you as much as they did in their own love? He’d believed she
loved him before she did. He’d risked all based on that fact.

Gran was
right. She couldn’t go on wafting through life, pushing away all
her chances of love, hoping for perfection.

Yeah, Ross and her relationship
wasn’t perfect. It hadn’t started off all romantic and textbook. It
had gone the long way round. But really, what did that matter in
the end? The future is what mattered.
The Album
sure believed that.

She ran her fingers over the
beautiful book. Then she laughed. Hey, maybe it had brought her
good luck, after all. Besides, didn’t Ross give his first love
confession just after she’d gotten
The Album
? It had just taken her a long time to
come round.

She turned to
the screen and played the slide show for the fourth time, tears
running down her cheeks.

“
Yes,” she spoke to the screen. “Yes, Ross, I’ll marry
you.”

“
You will?”

She heard
Pauline’s voice by the doorway. Andrea came in after that. Then
Carol.

“
Hey, can I not have a moment of privacy?” She stuck her tongue
out at them. “Where’s Ross?”

“
He left.”

“
Oh.” The air seeped out of her. “Well, I’d better go find
him.” She stood up.

“
What about your removal van?” Pauline asked.

“
Please, will you cancel
it?”

“
You’ll probably still have to pay for it,” Carol
said.

“
So, I’ll pay for it.”

“
What if Ross doesn’t want you now?” Andrea said.

She stared at
them a moment. “Of course he will. He promised he’d love me no
matter what, didn’t he?”

They clapped their hands and cheered. She
gave a huge grin, wiping the tears away. Now just to find the guy
before he did something stupid in a temper. She knew what he could
get like on the road when he was frustrated.

***

Ross didn’t know where he drove; he just
drove. Eventually, he found himself at the mall and walking toward
the grocery store. What did he think he’d find there? Ella’s
confession of love?

Maybe he should just give her
time. Maybe she’d come round. He had a bad feeling about
this
, though.
Like every time things had gone wrong between them—it had always
been preceded by a horrible creeping dread that began in his gut
and proceeded to every extremity of his body. Everything around him
seemed dark. Maybe it was the dark clouds on the horizon
threatening a storm, or could it be more than that?

He had to find a way forward without Ella.
He’d survived without her definite love for so long—surely, he
could survive now. He walked through the Boardwalk shopping centre,
past all the clothing outlets and specialty stores, hardly taking
in what he passed, yet not wanting to go home or do anything
else.

Whop! He slammed into something
soft yet firm. Hands grasped him and he looked right into
the
big blue
eyes of Ella.

“
Ella?”

“
Phew, you are a hard one to find.”

Her face was lit up, her cheeks
flushed
, and
tears made her lashes sparkle. He’d never seen her so beautiful,
and the ache bloomed in his chest.

“
Why were you looking for me?”

“
Yes.”

“
Yes, you were looking for me. I asked you why.”

“
I said yes. Yes, I will marry
you, Ross Mitchell.”

“
You will?”

He stepped back and looked her
up and down to ma
ke sure he wasn’t imagining things. He took her hands and
bent down to kiss her. Maybe if she kissed him back, he’d know for
sure. Dare he try? He hesitated a moment, but before he could
blink, her lips were pressed against his—sweet, soft, and
gloriously hot.

He plunged a hungry tongue into
her mouth and all the sorrow fled. She was his and the world wasn’t
a dark place.
His sense of dread had been unfounded. How many times had
he closed himself off from Ella because of this false sense of
unease? Would it have gone easier with her if he’d just given his
whole heart in the beginning?

“
Shhh.” She pressed a soft finger to his temple. “Stop thinking
so hard. Just kiss me.”

At that moment, rain pelted down outside
and he realised he had been heading out toward the back entrance.
How had he got so far? Where exactly had he walked and for how
long?

“
I saw your car in the parking
area about an hour ago but couldn’t find you. I walked up and down
this place. It’s really large when you’re worried about someone and
searching for them.”

He smiled.
“You were worried about me?”

“
And rightly so. I treated you so badly. You deserve someone
better than me.”

“
No, Ella. I only want you.”

“
I know.” She kissed him again and then spoke in his ear, her
breath sending sweet shivers through him and making his pants
uncomfortable. “Exactly why I love you more than anyone else in the
whole universe.”

He engulfed her mouth and pressed his
hands around her neck, then ran them down her sweet soft shoulders,
to rest upon her waist. She shivered and curled up closer to him
and everything else faded in the perfection of her arms.

“
Do you think you’ll ever
relinquish ownership of
The Album
, then?” Andrea asked Ella as they stood around
Ross’s new pool he’d put in a week back, smoke from the outside
grill filling the air with the aroma of barbecued meat.

“
I don’t think for a long time
still,” Ella
said. “I’m all for love and helping others find true love,
especially when it’s closer than they think.”

She glanced at Ross who gave her
a skew
ed
smile of acknowledgement. Her breath caught at his roughened look.
He hadn’t shaved for a few days and with his navy tee and mussed
hair…
Focus.
Your friends are here.

“
What about when you have kids?” Pauline asked.

“
Hey, we haven’t even got married yet and you’re talking about
kids.”

Carol
harrumphed. “You’re getting married in the morning. Can’t exactly
call that a long time still.”

Feels like a
long time to wait for us to be together. I’ve waited long
enough.

“
Don’t remind me. I’m petrified I’ve forgotten something
important.”

“
Just relax, for once,” Andrea
said. “You’ve done everything in your power to make it the perfect
wedding.”

“
Nothing will be as perfect as my man.”

She came up to the
braai-master and
gave him a tight hug from the side, then ran her hands down his
rough, muscular arms. He gave her a mock lascivious look. Argh, she
could ravish him right then. How would she manage to wait one more
night before she could explore all over his sexy bod without any
interruptions? Why had they been too busy for each other? Maybe
something to do with organising a wedding in like two months and
having very little time for each other. At least, all her
belongings had been packed up and she could move her things
straight away into Ross’s newly revamped home. Had he
subconsciously done it up for their future together? She went all
warm and tingly inside at the thought. She’d really chosen the
right man—how could she have doubted all that time? More like he’d
chosen her and she’d finally come round. Stupid, slow
woman.

“
Ella should pass on
The Album
to her daughter if
she has one,” Carol said. “It should probably remain in the
family.”

“
Yeah, specially seeing your gran
gave it to you,” Andrea added.

“
You say it as if you wish I
would pass it onto one of you.”

She eyed each of her friends to
see their reactions
but they didn’t respond. She’d seriously considered it the
last two months because she’d been run off her feet. Not that she’d
grown tired of
The Album
and its magic. In fact, the last two months had been the
happiest in her life and she had good reason to believe the antique
had played a big part in it. It had taken a while for the magic to
work in her heart, though, so stubborn she’d been.

Good thing
she’d been gifted with the best guy in the world—one who’d been
willing to risk heartbreak to confess his love to her a second
time.

“
We definitely don’t need
The
Album
. Our
lives are full enough,” Pauline said.

“
But it’s good luck. Look what it gave me.” She rubbed Ross’s
back and gave his bum a tight slap.

He groaned. “Hey,
I
found
you
.
The
Album
didn’t
bring us together.”

“
It certainly helped.”

“
How was that?” His eyes filled
with mischief and he pinched the back of her neck, sending sweet
shivers through her.

She grew
serious. “I don’t know. I learnt a lot about love while working
with it. Maybe I should pass it onto one of my friends. They could
do with a lesson or two.”

All three shook their heads at her, eyes
wide.

“
Let’s see now. Who shall I
pick?” She closed her eyes and spun around until she became dizzy,
then pointed wildly in a random direction. Opening her eyes, she
found her finger just under Pauline’s chin.

“
Pauline. You’re next.”

Everyone laughed and Pauline
rolled her eyes. “Oh
, come on, Ella. Be serious now. Don’t play
around.”