Look to the Rainbow (20 page)

     Debby had joined him and Janet and was trying to push Janet to serve her food choices and Janet was pleading with him to tell Debby why that choice was unacceptable. He looked across the room and Tara and Bobby were in a heated conversation. John came over to where he was and asked him a question about the debate that would be the next evening in Boston. It was all he could take. At that particular moment, he had
simply had enough.

    “I can’t do this anymore!” He wasn’t aware how loud he had made that comment. The whole family went silent collectively and stared at him.

     “What can’t you do, Kel?” John asked. He laid a calming hand on Kel’s arm and Kel shrugged him away.

     “Any of it. Not this wedding, this relationship, not the campaign. I just can’t do any of it.” Without looking at any of them he stormed out of the house, got into his vintage yellow Jaguar convertible and drove away, fast.

     Skip asked John, “Are we or are we not going to Boston?”

     John said, “I’ll have to get back to you on that Skip.”

     Tara turned to Bobby and said, “I’m resigning, effective now. I loved working for
Newsworthy
and I’m sorry I can’t work a notice, but I just can’t.” She fled from the room and raced up the stairs.  

     Lily crossed the room to Bobby and said, “Where is she going?”

     Bobby looked stunned. “She just resigned. I never suggested she resign.”

     Lily hurried up the stairs and found Tara packing her suitcases. “Darling, where are you going?”

     Tara hugged Lily. “I don’t know. But I can’t stay. I’ve loved being here with you, but I can’t do this anymore either. Kel made it quite clear that he’s done with us. Bobby won’t let up on the story about Alise. I’ll just go home and look for a job, I guess.”

     “I wish you wouldn’t.”

     “I know, but I think its best.” Lily helped her pack and then said, “I don’t care what Bobby or Kel think. You are welcome here anytime. I’m going downstairs and see what everyone else is doing and you can slip out the back.” They hugged again.

      Lily went into the living room and said, “Well, this is quite a mess you’ve all created.”

      Janet was sobbing on the sofa while Kimberly and Alan tried to console her, Bobby and Debby sat apart from everyone else, John paced back and forth and Skip leaned against against a wall, Ross and George were talking quietly. Jim was sitting at the piano, but not playing. Molly came and stood by Lily. “Is Tara really gone?”

      “Yes, I’m afraid she is.” She turned to oldest son. “John Lansing, what are you going to do to make everything all right again?”

      John said, “Mother what makes you think I can fix everybody’s problems?”

     “At least you can go find Kel.”

     “Great, I don’t even know where he went and I doubt he’ll be taking calls right now.”

      George said, “John, just go try to find him. There aren’t that many places he’d go.”

      John looked at his parents for a moment and went to go look for Kel.

     Tara drove down Ocean Avenue and took in the glorious view one last time. She had no idea where she was going. She had no flights scheduled. She just wanted to be out of Newport. She realized it was the first time she hadn’t been followed by a photographer in weeks. She drove out of the city limits and pulled over, and thought, “What should I do, Lord?” And almost as soon as she asked the thought came. Call Mary Katherine and Evan.

    She took out her phone and made the call. Mary Katherine answered.

    She hoped she wasn’t catching her in the middle of a chemo treatment, but she decided Evan would have answered in that case.

    “Kel and I are done, and I quit my job and I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

     Mary Katherine said without hesitating, “Come stay with us.”

     “Are you sure?”

      “I’m completely sure. I’m scheduled for the last treatment on Thursday and Casey has exams she’s pretending she doesn’t have to study for. How far are you going tonight?” It was a seven hour drive.

      “I’ll drive as far as Philly tonight. I’ll drive in there sometime tomorrow morning.”

     “Good. I have tons of media connections. We’ll find you a job.”

     “Thank you.” Tara told herself she would not cry. Resolutely she punched in the Jones’ address in her GPS and started driving toward Washington.

     John found Kel’s car in the driveway of his house after about an hour of driving around. The front door was unlocked, so he let himself in and walked through the bottom floor and when he didn’t see Kel, he headed upstairs. He was out on the balcony of the master bedroom, looking out over the bay. A thunderstorm was rolling in from a distance. Kel had designed the house to have this view from the bedroom. John stepped out on the balcony and leaned on the railing beside him.

    “You left a lot of things unsettled Kel.”

     Kel almost smiled. “And Lily sent you find me and fix it all.”

     John laughed softly. “Mother just wants everyone to be happy.”

     “So, the general assessment of the aftermath of my temper tantrum?”

     John sighed. “Janet was sobbing hysterically when I left and Tara resigned and packed her bags. I guess when you said you couldn’t do the relationship any longer she took your word for it.”

     Kel said, “She’s already gone?”

     “Yes.”

      “Well, I guess I ended that.”

       John hesitated, and then said, “Are you sure you want to just accept its over?
      “If she can’t handle it now, then how could I expect her to handle the White House?”

     “I thought you had just quit your bid for the White House.”

      Kel sighed. “Yeah, about that. I don’t think we can just quit now.”

     “I didn’t think so.”

      “What do I do about Janet?”

      “She doesn’t really want you to make all the decisions, she and Lily will do that. She just wants you to be involved, she just wants to talk to you about her wedding the way she’s always talked about everything else important with you. Why don’t you bring her along with us for a week, then she’ll have some time alone with you.”

     “It occurred to me while I was waiting on you to show up that I don’t have a clue what Jim’s been doing either. I manage to catch him on the phone about once a week and that’s not enough.”

      “So he gets to campaign a little too. Since you don’t have a wife, let them see you with your children. Let them speak for you.”

      “And Tara?”

     “I don’t know. I just have a feeling that maybe that chapter’s not finished yet.”

     “I told her at the very beginning that she had to decide if she could handle all of it- the public life, the politics, the diabetes. I guess she made her choice. She didn’t even try to fight for us.”

      “Do you love her?”

      “Yes. But I seem destined to spend my life tilting at windmills and chasing rainbows.”

     John said, “I compared
Alise
to Dulcinea, not Tara. I actually think Tara might be good for you.”

     The sun was setting over the water and Kel wondered where she had gone. He hoped she was okay. He said a quick silent prayer for her safety. He wanted to call her, but decided that it was better not to. “I never talked to her about Alise. I think she has this idea that I’ve been carrying a torch for my late wife all these years.”        “I wonder where she got that idea.” John said and they both knew he meant Bobby and Debby.

     Kel was silent and watched the rest of the sunset. He realized he’d been wasting time long enough and there were some fences to mend with his family. He wasn’t sure right now what he was going to do about Tara, but he wasn’t going to take any action on that tonight. “Let’s go, John . I have some things to take care of.”

     Tara checked into a hotel in Philadelphia and went to her room. She ordered room service and sat on the bed and pondered the events of the last several hours. She had argued with Kel about the photographer, and now she regretted bringing that up. She had contributed to his blowup, but she couldn’t forget him clearly saying that one of the things he couldn’t do anymore was ‘this relationship.’
This relationship
. The way he’d said it still hurt. As if it was just an irritation that he would rather not deal with. Something that could just be discarded. She had saved him the trouble by quitting her job without notice and packing her bags and running away. She had reacted to his words without waiting to see if he meant them.
But he didn’t come after me and he didn’t try to call.
She turned on the television and flipped through the channels. Her dinner came and she watched a movie as she ate, and because there was no reason to stay awake, went to bed fairly early.

     Evan came home from the hospital and found Mary Katherine on the sofa in the living room reading. She smiled at him as he came and sat beside her. “How was your day, dear?”  

     “Very busy. Lots of appointments. I didn’t know I had that many regular patients.”

     “You are the great physician,”  Mary Katherine said.

     “That was St. Luke in the Bible,” Evan said, laying down and putting his feet up and his head in her lap. “and I’m hardly a saint.”

      “You are in my book,” she said. “So, what’s for dinner?”

      “Oh and I thought it was your turn to decide,” Evan said.

       “And I’m sure it was yours,” she said, twisting a lock of his hair.

       He looked up at her with a boyish grin and a twinkle in his blue eyes. “Pretty sure I did dinner last night.”

      “That was definitely me.”

      “Okay, but we’re going to order from somewhere that delivers because I’m not going out anywhere tonight. One of us really should have learned how to cook. It’s a wonder we haven’t starved to death over the last twenty years.”

      They finally decided on pizza and an antipasto salad and Evan went upstairs to change clothes. Mary Katherine had the food spread on the coffee table and had poured them both a drink by the time he came downstairs.

     “Sometimes I wonder why we even have a dining room,” he said, picking up his plate and settling on the couch again.

     “Enough about our culinary lapses,” Mary Katherine said. “I made a decision today without consulting you.”