Look After Me (18 page)

She shifts uncomfortably for a moment before taking her phone out of her pocket. “Here,” she says.

“Okay good. Make sure you call me the minute you start to feel ill.”

“I promise I will. Just go. I’ll be fine. Oh, and take my key so you can get back in the apartment.”

“Okay. I’ll also head to the grocery store and grab a few things. I know pizza is your celebratory food, but what’s your comfort food?”

“Macaroni and cheese and Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey. Just not together,” she chuckles.

“I’ll grab the ingredients for the macaroni and cheese and grab a few tubs of ice cream while I’m out.”

“You’re going to cook for me?”

“I’m not just a pretty face.” I wink.

“Nobody has ever cooked for me before. Well, nobody except my mom and dad but they don’t count.”

“Nobody has ever cooked for you?”

“Well, you already know my track record with men. None of them had a domestic bone in their body, let alone romance. I got the impression that they thought women belonged in the kitchen like good little housewives.”

“What? Were they living in the fifties or something?” It feels pretty awesome knowing I’m going to be the first guy to cook her a home cooked meal. “Well, I’m a guy all about the here and now and I am going to cook you a mean mac and cheese. I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay.” Addison smiles before she lies down on the sofa and begins flicking through the channels
.

I head home and shower in record time before changing into a clean pair of jeans and a navy blue sweater. I constantly check my phone to see if Addison has called. No missed calls means she’s okay, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about her. I stop at the grocery store then head back over to Addison’s apartment. I let myself in and poke my head around the living room door only to find her sobbing her heart out. I drop the bags to the floor as I rush over to her.

“Addison, what’s wrong?” I ask before engulfing my arms around her, making sure to be extra careful of her bruised ribs. She shakes her head and unexpectedly starts laughing. I pull away slightly, confused.

“Nothing,” she begins, wiping away her tears with her good hand. “I started watching
The Notebook
and the ending makes me cry every time.”

I glance up at the flat screen, watching as the credits scroll down before giving her a perplexed look. “So you’re okay? Nothing is wrong?”

“No,” she says with a trembling laugh that sounds more like a cry. “I’m fine, I just get a little emotional, especially with this movie.”

I sigh with relief. “Thank God, I thought something was seriously wrong. You scared the living shit out of me.”

“I’m sorry,” Addison sniffles before wiping her moist eyes again. “I’m such a girl.”

“That’s because you are a girl but it’s kind of cute. I do think that maybe you shouldn’t watch any more sad movies though.” I take the remote control from her lap and switch the television off. “Only comedy and action from now on. No romance or girly crying shit.”

She smiles. “Okay, it’s a deal.”

“You ready to get your ice cream on?” I ask, standing up.

“Hell yes.”

We spend the rest of the day lounging around on the couch watching
Bad Boys,
Final Destination 3
and now
The Amazing
Spider-Man.
However, I haven’t heard a word because my concentration has been solely on Addison. I can’t seem to help it. I try and focus my attention on the movie in front of me but seconds later my eyes drift back to her, unable to resist. She’s just so damn beautiful, even with the bruises. Fuck, I can’t remember finding it this hard to concentrate when I was with Ava but then again our relationship wasn’t restricted by just friendship. She wasn’t off limits. But that’s the thing about having what you can’t have, it makes you want it even more.

It’s human nature.

It’s instinct.

It’s frustrating.

It doesn’t help that she keeps catching me looking at her. Each time that she does, I flick my eyes back to the television, pretending that I haven’t just been watching her.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

Her question catches me off guard and it takes me a moment to find my tongue. “You do these little facial expressions when you’re watching a movie. It’s cute.” That’s only half a lie. There’s no way I’m admitting that it’s almost impossible to tear my eyes away from her.

“I do not.” She blushes.

“You totally do.” I smile. “I’ve never seen anybody watch a movie the way you do. Everybody else ceases to exist. It’s almost like you’re a part of it or something.”

She tries to hide her smirk, but I notice it. She grabs a small cushion and throws it at my head. “Stop watching me and watch the TV, you freak.” I laugh as she goes back to the movie, noticing the way her mouth lifts with a discreet smile until she winces in pain, the stitched cut restricting the movement to her mouth.

Once this movie ends, I’m surprised when she switches the TV off. I glance in her direction and notice a pained look across her face. “You okay?” I ask for like the millionth time today, shifting closer to her.

“I think I’ve watched too much TV. My head is throbbing again.” She sits up and reaches over to the coffee table to grab her pain pills and glass of water. Once she swallows them, she sits back against the sofa, laying her head back. She relaxes her eyes but the crease lines on her forehead keep in place.

“Come here.” Her eyes flicker open at the sound of my voice. “I’ll massage your temples, see if that helps with the pain.” She’s hesitant for a moment before she shifts herself closer to me and lies on her back with her head in my lap and her legs dangling over the edge of the sofa. I know I’m stepping over boundaries, boundaries that have been a looped argument throughout the day, but it was either sit here and watch her in pain or try and relieve it for her.

I caress her forehead with my fingertips for a moment before I stretch my hand out using my thumb and index finger to massage her temples. My hand seems to be a perfect fit against her petite head, and I’m able to rotate my fingers against her temples in a circular motion with ease. Her entire body physically relaxes and I notice the lines on her forehead begin to smooth out.

“That feels good,” she whispers, relaxing even further. I continue the motion for a while. I don’t think my hands have ever felt so powerful until this very moment. Just the feel of her against my fingertips is seriously doing crazy things to me and if I’m not too careful she’s going to be feeling something hard pressed against the back of her head.

Honestly, what am I? Fourteen again?

“So . . .” I begin, desperately wanting to come up with a topic other than the one constantly battling inside my head.
I feel like a broken record.
“When do you think you’ll hear from the police?”

Her eyes open and her gaze meets mine. “I don’t know, hopefully soon.”

“I’m glad you’re pressing charges. That chick can’t get away with attacking you.”

“I wasn’t going to press charges at first. I was just going to let it slide. I kind of felt sorry for her, you know? It must have been humiliating to find out her boyfriend was cheating on her. Then the rational side kicked in, especially when the doctor started stitching and gluing me back together and I really couldn’t give a shit about her broken heart. Plus, everywhere hurts like hell.”

I continue massaging her temples with my firm but gentle touch. “Even with everything you went through yesterday, you’re in pretty good spirits.”

She sighs. “I guess I am but that’s only because of you. You’ve spent the majority of the day doing everything in your power to cheer me up and I’m surprised I haven’t made my lip bleed from all the smiling you’ve made me do. If I were alone, I probably would have spent today crying and feeling sorry for myself.” She’s quiet for a moment before she says, “You really are a gentleman. I have no idea what Ava was thinking when she let you go.”

Just like last night, I still at the mention of Ava’s name and it takes my heart a moment to pick up rhythm again. “You . . . um, you said something similar last night.” I smile slightly. “I just—what exactly did you mean by that?”

“It means she’s a fucking idiot. If I had a guy like you, I’d make sure to keep a tight hold of him. It’s not every day a woman finds such a sweet and genuine guy.”

I definitely wasn’t expecting her answer.

Unable to resist, I slide my fingers through her silky hair, stroking against the strands gently, careful of the glued area. Her eyes briefly close and a pleasurable sigh escapes her lips. My eyes stay focused on her plump lips as I wish I could lean over and kiss her cut lip better. The urge to press my lips to hers roars through my body like wildfire. It would only take one simple move and my lips would be locked on hers, tasting the sweet beauty that is all Addison.

It’s only when I start to feel myself lean in do I realize what the hell I’m about to do. I quickly pull away, purposely avoiding eye contact but not before witnessing the look of disappointment in her eyes.
Shit.
I can’t allow myself to get carried away with these lustful thoughts when I’m around Addison. Suddenly uncomfortable with being in such close proximity, I desperately need a moment to take a much-needed breather.

Away from her.

Now.

“How’s your headache?”

She blinks unevenly with confusion for a moment before my question seems to sink in. “Um, a little better. Your massage definitely helped.”

“Why don’t you try and get a little rest while I get a start on the mac and cheese?”

“Okay.”

I shift her head gently from my lap and place it on a cushion before moving swiftly away from her, heading straight for the kitchen. Once in the quiet surroundings of the kitchen, I brace my hands along the counter and close my eyes on a heavy exhale. What the hell is wrong with me? Lately, just being around her is making my head spin. She just seems to be everywhere. Even now that I’m in the kitchen, in a separate room to her, I still feel her.

It’s driving me crazy.

Whatever
this
is, I can’t seem to shake it out of me. And the more time I spend with her, the more I find myself entering a dangerous minefield; a place I need to stay the hell away from. Maybe the answer to all of my questions is to fuck the feelings I have for her out of me. I haven’t had sex for a good five months, which barely even counts as sex because I was too smacked up on coke to even remember it. So really, the last time I had memorable sex was over a year ago with
Ava
before I got deployed to my final tour in Afghanistan. That is a long time to go without sex, so it’s hardly surprising that I’m horny as hell all of the time. The perfect solution to getting her out of my head is to get lost inside another chick’s pussy. A hot chick who has the ability to wipe the attraction I have for Addison completely out of my mind because my mind is obviously mistaking my wild hormones for something deeper.

Sex. I need it and I need it fast.

It’ll be hard though because the only chick’s pussy I want to get lost in is only one room away, sleeping peacefully. But that can’t happen, so the sooner I give my dick the attention it deserves, the sooner the lustful feelings I have for Addison will disappear and my friendship will stay intact without the incessant urge to plant one on her every five minutes.

With this sudden epiphany finally giving me focus, I start to make Addison the best mac and cheese she has ever tasted.

MONDAY MORNING ROLLS AROUND and I begin my job as a personal trainer at Muscle Fitness. I arrive a little before nine and spend the majority of the morning going through the orientation process and relevant paperwork. I’m scheduled for three days a week with the possibility of being bumped up to five days a week in the foreseeable future. For now I’m more than happy with the hours I have been given. Hell, I’m just happy to finally have a job. It’s nice to see my life moving in the right direction for a change instead of watching it plummet downwards.

I observe some of the training sessions, and by the end of the week I’m familiar with all of the basics and finally feel like a full-fledged member of the team. Everybody is extremely welcoming, and I have a really good feeling about this job. Maybe this is the beginning of good things to come, including seeing my daughter more than once a week.

One of the perks of working at a gym is the twenty-four hour access to the equipment and pools, so I’m currently indulging after an eight-hour shift. Jacob walks over to me while I’m on the pectoral fly machine, moving my arms to my chest in an arc motion, working on my upper body muscles.

“What’s up, man?” he says with a welcoming nod.

“Hey.” After one final push, I remove my arms from the apparatus and reach down to my bottled water, gulping it down in one swallow.

“So me and a few of the guys are gonna hit a club tonight. Just wondering if you wanted to come?”

I wipe away the moisture from my lips with the back of my hand and stand. I feel a lot less intimidated if I stand at his level. “Thanks for the offer but I have plans tonight.” I don’t. The only plans I have include the box set of
24,
an order of Chinese food, and trying to make it through the evening without thinking of the one girl who’s been plaguing my mind since I left her apartment last Saturday. Hell, who am I kidding? She’s been plaguing my mind from the moment she stepped into my apartment the day of my near-relapse.