Long Time Running (11 page)

Moving to stand up, he realized she was still gripping his
shirt. He gently extricated her hands from his shirt but paused as she started to whimper at the loss of contact. Once again his heart raced in front of his head and he climbed on to her bed, gathering her in his arms.

Bringing her head to his chest, he softly stroked her hair and whispered reassurances hoping they would keep the darkness at bay. Memories of nights spent tangled together reverberated in his mind as she instinctively
threaded her legs through his and sighed softly, her cheek pillowed by his chest and her head tucked gently under his chin. A lump formed in Eric's throat at the familiarity of the position. She had fallen asleep like this countless times in the past.

"Oh, babe." He said deeply, as he placed a gentle kiss on the crown of Nathalie's hair and closed his eyes. "What a mess."

He had not even realized he had fallen asleep until he felt her shift against him. His eyes flew open in a panic as he heard her groan;
looking down at her, he realized she was still asleep. Glancing over at the clock he could scarcely believe he had been there for four hours already. Holding her, feeling her breath on his skin all felt so achingly normal. Eric smirked to himself as he noticed his fingers entwined through hers - old habits
really did die hard, if at all.

With his free hand he stroked her silky soft hair and pressed another kiss. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing and knew he
was walking the razor's edge but she needed him. And the frightening truth staring him in the face was that he probably needed her too. As much as her return had opened old wounds, he felt complete for the first time in almost 8 years. There were questions that needed answers but whereas before he wanted
them at all costs, he worried now about the price that had already been paid.

Curiously and carefully he gently lifted her shirt up a couple of inches, giving him another view of her scar. Based on the anguished
cries from her nightmare he tried to piece it all together. There had been a fire that much he was sure of. It wasn't hard to guess that Jack had been caught in the fire and she had gone in to rescue him. Taking another quick look
at her back an image came to mind leaving him breathless - Nathalie on the floor of some house, trapped by a beam burning into her flesh as she tried to save her son .

"Why didn't you trust me?" he asked quietly.
"What did I do to ever make you think you couldn't trust me?"

"Are you out of your mind?"

Startled, he gave a slight start as he looked over at the door and found Andrew standing there looking thunderstruck. Peeking quickly at
Nathalie and seeing she was still sound asleep, he very carefully edged himself from underneath her and got up from the bed. He stopped to pull the blankets up around her before turning back to his friend. Putting his finger up to his lips
to silence him from saying anything further he stepped into the hallway.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Andrew followed suit. "There is a question still waiting for an answer," he told him as the
door to her room closed. "Have you lost your marbles?"

"She was having a nightmare."

"Pretty quiet nightmare" he snarked.

Anger flashed quickly through his blue eyes. "It wasn't
when I got here. Drew something really bad happened to her-"

"And what? You're going to ride to the rescue? You cannot be her white knight Eric. Do I need to remind you what she did?"

"No you don't need to remind me. I live with it every day," he retorted angrily. "But maybe, just maybe, I am beginning to see there is more to the story." His tone softened as he looked into his best friend's eyes. "Who better than me to be a comfort to her? Jesus Drew, we
share a child."

"A child that she believes has been placed with a loving family. Do you think she's going to learn that her sister has kept Jack all these years, allowed you to parent him and thank you for it? She is going
to run for the hills," he told him.

"Maybe not. Maybe she will want to try to be a fam - "

"Shit, Eric. Seriously?" Andrew interrupted
incredulously. "You and I both know she will be on the first plane back to Africa believing she was right to leave you all behind. Whatever caused her to give Jack up scared her. And then where will you be?" He shoved his hands
in his pockets as silence greeted his question. "And what about Jack? Are you going to tell him you're his father and by the way I know who your mom is-"

"He already knows who his mom is," Eric said quietly, looking back at the closed door.

Andrew blanched. "What? How?"

Glancing around the hallway, he shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it out here."

"Fine. Let's go to your office."

The two men walked in silence down the hall, each lost in their own thoughts. For Eric there were visions of a family life that would flash in his mind; for Andrew he saw the three people who mattered so much to
him destroyed by the truth.

As the office door closed behind them, Andrew leaned up against it, his arms folded across his chest.

"What do you mean he already knows who his mom is?"

Sighing heavily, Eric sank into his chair and rubbed his hands over his face. "He took a picture from Sarah's room - one of her and Nathalie. He asked me if that was Nathalie and then asked me if she was his mom, telling me that Sarah had always told him his mother was her sister."

"And you told him? What else did you tell him?" Nervous anger permeated his tone.

"Of course I told him" he shot back. "He figured it out and Sarah has always answered his direct questions."

"Did you tell him she was here? That she was sick?"

He shook his head. "I don't know what I'm going to tell him if he asks about his father. Or more questions about Nathalie."

"How about the truth?" he snapped.

"It's complicated, you know that."

Andrew angrily shook his head. "Truth is simple - it's
the lies that are complicated. And you two are going to devastate that little boy when your house of cards comes tumbling down."

"Personalizing a little much there, aren't you?"

"Maybe," he admitted. "But it doesn't mean
I'm wrong." Pulling away from the door he shuffled across the room and flopped on to the couch. "You have no idea," he said quietly, "absolutely no idea what it does to you to find out that the people you
love and trust have lied to you about the most basic of things."

"It might not be the same for Jack," Eric offered.

"I don't know why you think it would be different. My
grandmother and my mother both lied to me. Until I was 12, I truly thought my mom was my sister - every adult in my life who was supposed to love and protect me participated in that lie. And I stumbled on the truth. It felt like the entire world crashed around me, you know that," he reminded him. "I
don't understand why you want Jack to feel like I did. If he figures it all out before you tell him you could lose him for good Eric."

"But Sarah-"

Andrew interjected. "Sarah is afraid of losing Jack." He paused. "Look, even though I may not agree with her method of dealing with this, I believe Sarah is trying to do the right thing. But she really believes that once Nathalie knows the truth she will take him back to
Africa and she will never see either of them again. She's trying to protect herself."

A small smile ghosted across his lips. "For two people who can't be in the same room without the temperature dipping 20 degrees from
the chill, you seem to know a lot about the inner workings of Sarah Grant."

He dismissed the comment with a wave. "You guys need to tell Jack, sooner rather than later and you need to stick to your plan to tell
Nathalie after her surgery."

"It must be nice to have all the answers." Eric said softly.

"Glad you finally realized it after all this time."

"Ass." Eric retorted with a smile tilting the corners of his mouth.

A mischievous grin covered Andrew's face for a moment before his eyes turned serious. "Be careful, dude."

Eric paused. "I'll try." Drew nodded in
acknowledgement that that was all Eric could offer.

As the door softly closed behind his friend, Eric privately acknowledged that he was already failing.

#

Looking up from her book, Nathalie smiled nervously as Andrew strode into her room. Her friend had clearly blossomed into a self-confident and talented doctor. His talent had never been in question when they were in school but his confidence had been more difficult to find. He
seemed to have finally found the footing that had been eluding him.

"Hey" she greeted him as she closed over her book.

Giving her a small smile, he pulled over a chair to her
bedside and sat down. "How's the pain?"

With a small shrug, she pursed her lips together. "Not bad. Maybe a 6 or 7." Spotting the file in his hand she gave him a knowing look. "MRI results?"

He nodded.

"It's bigger?"

"Almost another millimeter. I've booked you for surgery on Saturday."

"Oh" Her gaze dropped to her lap as she pulled
anxiously at her fingers.

"You okay?"

Without looking up, she nodded. "Yeah," she replied hoarsely.

"Would you care to try again?" he asked gently,
touching her arm.

Lifting her eyes, she smiled sadly. "I'm scared Drew." She exhaled. "Really scared."

"Well despite you finishing ahead of me in school I really have become pretty good at this whole surgery thing," he teased.

Chuckling softly, she shook her head. "I'm sure you have."

"I'm going to take good care of you," he told her more seriously. "I promise."

Her fingers curled around her locket and she rhythmically rubbed the smooth gold. "I was thinking of you this morning," she laughed nervously. "They gave me pancakes for breakfast - they were awful
- but it reminded me of all those mornings the three of us spent at the Original Pancake House."

He nodded as he laughed lightly. "And you would always challenge me to eat the Dutch Baby."

"And you always did."

"While Eric made snorting noises," he added. Falling quiet, he tilted his head to the side. "We had some really good times, the three of us."

Inhaling sharply, she continued to finger her locket.
"Yeah."

He watched the way she held the locket, like it was a talisman of some kind; his curiosity was peaked. "What's in the locket?"

Her cheeks flushed, the first appearance of color since her
arrival at the hospital. "Just...just something that makes me feel less alone."

Leaning forward, he brought his arms to rest on his knees. "You aren't alone," he told her. "You never were. I wish...I
wish you had known that back then, maybe you would have made different choices."

"And not wrecked Eric's life, you mean" she finished for him, trying to keep the accusation from her voice and failing.

"Yeah. Or yours."

Uncomfortable, she let go of her locket. "So...uh...what about you? Have you finally found someone worthy?"

Scoffing, he shook his head. "Same question as
always," he joked. "You know me Nat, I'm not good with relationships with women"

"You always used to joke that I was the best relationship with a woman you ever had."

"You were," he answered softly. "You were who I ran to when I needed someone to just listen. Eric is my best friend but you...you always just knew how to give me what I needed whether it was a kick in the ass or a hug." Pausing, his tongue darted out and swiped at his
lips. "I missed having that in my life. I missed you." Nathalie dropped her eyes and said nothing. "I don't think I realized that until just now. I think I spent so much time being angry with you for reducing my
friend to rubble that I didn't realize that I was angry with you for leaving me too."

Several tears trickled down her face. Swiping aimlessly at them, she met his gaze. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I know you are."

The idea of Eric being reduced to rubble was such a vivid image for her and it threatened the squeeze all the air from her body. She had known, even when she was leaving, that he would be hurt, but it never occurred
to her that he would be so affected. It was not that she had doubted his feelings for her but she had never allowed herself to fully realize the impact of her choices.

"So really there isn't a single girl you've met that
makes you want to settle down?" she teased trying to lighten the mood.

He shrugged lightly. "There is one-"

"A ha!"

He smiled. "There is one but she's dealing with some
stuff and hides pretty far behind her walls. I'm not sure...I'm not sure I'm who she needs but she kind of makes me wish I was."

Nathalie chewed on her bottom lip. "Don't let a few
walls scare you away," she offered. "Some of the best treasures can be found on the other side. If she's worth the effort, don't let her go."

"Was Eric not worth the effort, Nat?" he asked
softly, his kind tone softening the blow of the question.

She swallowed thickly "I guess I deserved that." She responded as glanced at her hands. "I honestly thought he would be better without me, that I would hold him back from his dreams - the life he
wanted."

"You need to understand something," he began, knowing his friend's heart still belonged to the woman in front of him.

"What?" she asked meekly, afraid of what would
come next.

"The life he wanted - the dreams he had - all involved you. When you left, the life he envisioned for himself was no longer feasible because you were no longer there to share it with him."

The emptiness that never left Nathalie's heart seemed to intensify with the knowledge that all her choices had been for naught. In the end, neither one of them had ended up with what they wanted. "So he never went overseas?"