Long Memory (13 page)

“I don’t think it would look good on you.”

“You look tired.” He put his arm around her shoulders.

Beth considered asking what he was doing, but since it had gone over so well last time, she kept her mouth shut. This wasn’t a surprise anyway. Why else would a man sit down next to her and start asking questions about her friends? He was too old to be willing to stop at a little necking even if it gave him poison ivy. The girls were sleeping and would be for at least an hour.

“Who is Johnny McMannus?”

“Johnny? He’s the son of the guy who had a heart attack the other day. Where did you hear about him?”

“He was at the game. He was watching you while you were trying to calm down Elaine.”

“Really?” The idea of Johnny McMannus having a thing for her wasn’t unappealing. In school, he was the cute bad boy. If he’d reformed and stayed good looking, it could work. Provided Kitty didn’t get to him first. After James left town she could look into it. She didn’t want to go over-the-edge wild all of a sudden. The vertigo alone would do her in. “Maybe he came back because his dad is sick.”

“Has he been gone long?”

“Oh yeah. He left town for good when I was sixteen. Moved to Florida.” Sixteen. Junior year of high school, when Elaine had her meltdown. Must have been a bad year all around.

“Did you ever date him?”

“No, I was too young. Johnny was charged with statutory rape for having sex with his girlfriend the day after his birthday.” Beth leaned against him, stifling a yawn. If he wanted to do something, he better move fast or she was going to be sleeping on him.

“Statutory rape?” James sat up. His arm tightened around her shoulders.

“That’s what happens when you’re dating the sheriff’s daughter and he doesn’t like it. The judge didn’t even buy it. He only gave Johnny three months probation.”

“He left town right after the probation?”

“No, it was about a year later. Nobody knows why he up and left then.” Beth frowned. Except that Elaine plunged into her depression right about that time. Elaine and Johnny McMannus? Unthinkable. Elaine was only sixteen at the time too, and Johnny had just been arrested for statutory rape. Elaine had been friends with Johnny’s sister though. Maybe… “I should call Elaine and make sure she’s all right.”

“You don’t have to take care of everyone.”

Beth rolled her eyes. He didn’t know. Taking care of people was what she did. She’d started with her drunken parents and moved on to friends and former teachers.

“You should take care of yourself first.” James turned her face to his. “Beth, I really like you.”

“I like you too, James.”

“But?”

“You know I don’t want to get into a physical relationship with someone who isn’t staying around. There’s too much chaos in my life to invite more.” Beth sighed. If only she could. She wanted to know if he could fulfill the promises his body made when they kissed. To remember what it was like to be a woman. But a lifetime of sacrificing personal needs to build a good reputation became a habit. “I’m sorry.”

“What if I was staying around?”

Her brain tried to do a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree turn in her head. It hurt. When he showed up, he said he wanted to visit. He had a life to get back to. Why would he stay here? For her? No. Impossible. “Say again?”

“What if I was staying around?” He looked sincere. Wide open eyes, set jaw, one arm still around her shoulders, the other on her knee.

“Why?”

“I’m not sure. I like it here. I feel comfortable.”

“You’re still on vacation from your real life, you remember, the one where you broke open a major real estate scandal and still have to go testify in front of the SEC. I know what’s going on in your head. You want out of that mess, and this looks so nice in comparison. You’re running away.”

“Don’t psychoanalyze me.”

Beth shrugged. “Everybody has baggage.”

“And that’s the only reason anyone could love you? Because they have baggage you can carry?”

“That’s not fair.”

“Why? Because I’m analyzing you?”

Beth stood up and walked across the porch. She needed to be far away from him. Her hands shook so she shoved them in her pockets before she picked up something and threw it at him. She never wanted to lose control to that degree again. Once that genie was out of its bottle, there was no stopping it.

“Beth?” James stood. “It’s true, isn’t it?”

“Shut up,” she hissed. Her throat ached with the desire to scream. “You’re just turning this from you to me. You want to have sex with me and you’re trying to make it my problem that you can fix.”

“No, I’m not.” James walked toward her, stepping into the danger zone.

Beth pressed herself against a column. It was strong enough to hold up Nonie’s porch, so it had to be strong enough to hold her too.

“Beth, I want to love you and you won’t let me in.” He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her toward him. “Let me in.”

Her center of balance tipped away from the post, toward him until he was supporting her. “You would stay here? With me?”

“I would stay here for you.”

Beth wrapped her arms around him, smothering herself in his embrace. He would stay here. For her.

* * * *

James parked the car in the grocery store lot.

“What are we doing here?” his mother asked.

“Going to the festival, Mom. I told you.”

She folded her hands in her lap. “I thought you would drop me off at Nonie’s house first.”

“No, Nonie, Aunt Jean and Beth are here at the festival. I promised Beth that we would come around to help her.”

“You promised Beth?” his mother gasped. “What do you mean, you promised Beth?”

“We’re going to miss the shuttle bus to the circle.” James slammed the car door. She had been complaining since he met her at the luggage carousel. The plane was too cold. The flight was too turbulent. The attendants were not attentive. The baggage handlers took too long unloading the luggage. His car was too small for her bags, they were going to get scratched.

At that point he stopped listening. Partly in self-defense and partly because she had two checked bags and a large carry-on he was expected to wrangle. His question about how long she planned to stay had been met with a Club Med-style guilt trip. How could he ask such a thing? She was visiting her dying mother. She would stay as long as necessary. James wondered if husband number three had given her walking papers.

“Are my bags going to be safe in that parking lot?”

“Mother, this is Weaver’s Circle, not Times Square.”

“People will steal anything they can get away with.” She sat in the school bus seat with her purse clutched in her lap, eyeing the other passengers like they might snatch it away.

James sighed. This was going to be much worse than he’d anticipated. Not only would he not be slipping away to Beth’s and would be stuck sleeping on the couch for the duration of his mother’s visit, he would be enjoying his mother’s delightful company the whole time.

Sneaking down the basement stairs each night after Nonie went to bed had become the highlight of his life. Each day they carefully avoided giving away their secret. For a nearly blind woman, Jean saw a lot, so keeping this secret was difficult. Especially when he wanted to pull Beth into his arms every time he saw her. Then after Nonie was in bed and quiet, he would walk through the dark house and down the stairs to Beth. He tried to leave before either of them fell asleep, but yesterday morning he’d woken up to the sound of Nonie walking around upstairs in search of breakfast. When he came through the basement door, she’d asked him who he was again and then forgot all about it.

Beth was more than an excellent lover. She was great company. He liked talking to her and sitting in silence watching television together. If anyone had told him six months ago that he’d meet a voluptuous blonde and really enjoy watching television with her, he’d have told them to go take a flying leap, but just being with her was wonderful. Gardening. Of all things, gardening. They had spent three hours pruning a tree two days ago and he’d been really happy even though he was drenched in sweat and coated with tree sap.

“Are you listening to me?” his mother demanded.

“No.”

“What?”

James rolled his eyes. If he’d been paying attention instead of daydreaming about Beth, he wouldn’t have said anything that stupid. Now that it was out, there was no going back. He wished he was sitting on Beth’s couch watching a DVD. “Mom, all you’ve done is complain. Hasn’t anything good happened in your life lately?”

“No, I have led a very difficult life. Everything I did, I did for you.” She turned to the woman sitting behind them. “Children are so ungrateful.”

The woman nodded, and the bus stopped beside the church parking lot.

“Come on, Mom. Let’s go see if we can find Beth.”

“Is she all you can talk about?” His mother gripped his hand as if she needed help when she got off the bus. “She’s trying to steal your grandmother’s money. She’s just trying to get all she can out of us. Has she convinced you she loves you?”

James had the good sense not to answer that. “Let’s look around the circle first. Do you want to ride any rides?” He stopped at the ticket booth and bought six ride tickets.

“I don’t know why you’re wasting your money on that.”

“Cripes,” James muttered under his breath. He hated to expose Beth to his mother like this, but if he didn’t find a way to dilute her he was going to kill her.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“Nothing, Mother.”

“Donna Bennetti?”

Thank God for small towns. His mother gave her brightest smile to the woman who had stopped them and corrected her last name. In seconds the two of them were chatting like the old school chums they must be. James scanned the crowd for Beth, but throngs of people milled around the craft vendors set up in the circle. Behind them, in the church parking lot, several carnival rides spun people until they were sick and a Ferris wheel towered above it all. Across the street, people went in and out of the elementary school where the cafeteria served up meals and the food and craft judging took place. Beth and the girls could be anywhere.

“In Atlanta.”

“Really? Aren’t you lucky to have such a successful son.”

James wondered if he should have been listening to what his mother was saying. If something got back to Beth she might hit the roof. If he closed up his apartment, his emergency fund could last well over a year. If he picked up a little work here and there, he could even stretch that. By that time their relationship would have run its course and he could have found a job that valued his honesty.

His mother and her friend were looking at him. Busted daydreaming again. He smiled. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Irene wondered if you were available to do taxes while you’re in town. Her daughter has a business and is trying to do it herself.”

His mother’s tone left no alternative. “I don’t know how long I’m going to be around. I guess I could talk to her and see what she needs though. Do you know how to get in touch with me?” His mother’s lips pursed. She didn’t like that answer. Too not exactly what she wanted. She would lean toward the “hell no, I’m already packed to leave” response.

“You’re staying with Mrs. Bennetti, aren’t you? I can look you up.” Irene beamed. “Oh Donna, it’s so nice to see you again.”

“It’s good to be seen.”

“You take care.”

“I will.” His mother started toward the circle. “This town is like living in a fishbowl.”

James looked around. Several people waved at him and he waved back. Everywhere else he’d lived, he might run into someone he knew once a month. Here, if it didn’t happen once a day, he hadn’t left the house. Fishbowl maybe, but a comfortable fishbowl. “I could get used to it.”

His mother snorted. “I don’t see your grandmother anywhere. Let’s just go home.”

“Mom, I promised Beth–”

“So take me home and then come back and look for your little girlfriend.”

James started toward the elementary school.
Girlfriend.
He hadn’t applied that word to her yet, but it fit. She was a girl, she was his friend.
Lover
seemed too shallow and limited.