Loner (Norseton Wolves #2) (8 page)

After a couple of weeks of learning the nuances of Darius’s silence and his energy, Stephanie worried that she was letting her wolf fall into a pattern of complacency. When they were at home together, learning each other’s bodies and her being warmed by the sound of his voice, she didn’t think about the outside. She didn’t care about how he functioned in the greater world, because when they were in bed or on the sofa with the television on, nothing out there mattered. They lived two separate lives, though. Joined at the hip when they were together, but when Stephanie was out without him, she craved interaction and socialization. She worried she should have been trying harder to fold him into that part of her world.

She needed a reality check, and so she’d appealed to fellow mate Christina to get one.

Christina worked at the executive mansion, and probably saw more of the pack as they worked than even Mrs. Carbone, who also worked in there, in the kitchen.

They sat on the window seat of the library Christina worked out of and looked out onto the grounds. The wolves had hired some contract security guards for Norseton, and were training them out in the courtyard. Alpha was always around for that, but the other wolves rotated in and out, depending on what the day’s lesson was. Darius was an expert marksman, which was why he was on hand at the moment. He didn’t seem to be enjoying his teacher role much, though, judging by the tight set of his lips and the persistent grinding of his teeth.

“He’s like Anton in a lot of ways,” Christina said, referring to her husband.

“But Anton is reclusive because of his scars, not because he’s trying to avoid people. He’ll put on his patch and go out with the others if he’s asked to.”

Christina made a waffling gesture. “He’d rather stay home. He’s always got so much to do, and I think the perception that he’s falling behind on anything makes him anxious. But, you’re right, he doesn’t have a problem interacting with people. He just hates most of them.”

Stephanie stifled her laugh. “I don’t think Darius hates people. I think…I think he’s afraid of them.” It pained her to admit it. He was her man, and she adored him, but the way social interactions crippled him broke her heart. She couldn’t even pretend to understand what he felt. She’d always been outgoing.

“That’s the wolf in him,” Christina said. “Probably has a lot to do with how he was brought up. I bet he spent more time in his animal form than his boy form.”

“He did.” Another thing that had broken her heart. When he was expelled from his birthpack, he’d had no choice but to take the shape he was stronger in as he traveled. “Damn, I just wish I could go back and undo some things.”

“Why?” Christina furrowed her forehead. “To make him normal? Or what you
think
is normal?”

“To make it easier for him. When he’s afraid, my wolf gets afraid, too. She doesn’t understand what’s wrong, and I don’t know how to fix that. There weren’t any wolves like him in my father’s pack. I don’t understand the personality type.”

“I can’t say I know what that means, either. Anton won’t bite me, so my inner wolf’s not fully awake. But I do know that Anton isn’t the kind of man who’d want pity for the things that he considers to be flaws. He thinks they’re his lot in life, and he compensates accordingly. I do the same thing when it comes to him. I treat him the way he needs to be treated, and that may change from one day to the next. Our mates will keep us on our toes, for sure.”

Stephanie grunted in agreement.

“What is it you think Darius needs?”

“I don’t know, really. I guess my instinct is to force him to be more social, but not only does he not have the training for it, I wonder if he’s just not equipped for it. His first pack kicked him out because he had the makings of an alpha, but what if he was designed to be a lone wolf all along?”

“I think he was,” Christina said softly.

“But what does that mean for a pack structure? What would newcomers think?”

“There are few rules in this pack, so why does it have to mean anything at all?”

“Huh.” Stephanie leaned back against the window and stared unseeing at a bookcase across the room. “Why does it? He just needs to pull his weight, right?”

“Yes. And there are a lot of ways he can do that. The greater concern is what kind of father he’d make.”

“I don’t have worries about that.” A man who cuddled the way Christina’s wolf did probably wouldn’t have any problems holding a baby. In fact, she looked forward to seeing him with one of theirs. Just by being present, he would already be a far better father than hers was. But, if their children wanted to have friends over, then what? Would he get stressed and flee? Would people talk?

She didn’t care if they talked. She was used to people talking about her, but she did worry about
him
.

“I’m afraid of what’ll happen as the pack gets larger,” Stephanie said softly. “He’s familiar with it, the way it is, and has worked with the guys for a long time.”

“I worry about that, too. None of our men are especially adept at being in a general population. When there are more personalities in the mix, will the dynamics change, or will the men simply adjust?”

“We’re good at adjusting. We came here and…” Stephanie let the words trail off as she realized the gravity of them. The mates had all gone to Norseton to try to find suitable wolves. They were suitable
for a reason
—matches made by their alpha and their goddess. Stephanie’s ability to read Darius’s energy was a mystery Alpha couldn’t explain, beyond saying that an alpha wolf’s mate gave him what he needed. The “vice versa” didn’t need to be said. It was obvious. Even a woman like Stephanie wanted to feel like she fit with someone, and she did.

“They have us to help them adjust. And if they don’t, then we’ll buffer them from the world. We’ll become their emissaries.”

Christina’s smile was dreamy. “I think that would make Anton happy.”

“I’m pretty sure it’ll make my wolf happy, too.”

___

Alpha was at the Norseton gate screening vehicles, and Stephanie let herself into the security shack, bearing one of his wife’s special submarine sandwiches. A shameless ploy, but she didn’t care. When her mother had put her in that car her father had sent to deliver Stephanie to him and his pack, one of the last things her mother had said was, “Don’t be ashamed to appeal to people’s basest natures if it means doing so will get what you need. That’s the only reason I was able to keep you with me this long. Remember that.”

Stephanie
had
forgotten it, along with so many other important lessons, but she was going to put that wisdom to use now.

Alpha pushed up one bushy eyebrow then lifted the gate for a delivery truck. “Long walk all the way up here.”

“I took one of the golf carts.”

“Ah. Smart. Just to bring me a sandwich? Let me guess.” He lowered the gate and leaned in the open doorway. “Someone in the pack needs maiming, and you want me to do it. Is it Colt?”

She sighed, and then laughed. “No. I do need a favor, but nothing like that. Lisa can deal with Colt.”

“That’s what my gut says, anyway. What kind of favor? The last time someone asked me for a favor, I wasn’t so inclined to grant it. Some wolves don’t know what the best thing for them is.”

She furrowed her brow.

He waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t mind me. What do you need? Before you tell me, give me the sandwich. I could eat a brick, I’m so hungry.”

Laughing, she handed it over. “I don’t know much about what you and the pack did before you settled here at Norseton, and I’m not really sure I want to know. Darius doesn’t discuss it at all, but I know your team works well together, and that’s something that shouldn’t be discounted.”

Adam took a big bite of sandwich and nodded.

“I’m not suggesting he stop doing what he does, but…I wonder if…”

“You’ve got the worst hearing of any wolf I’ve ever known,” Darius said softly behind her.

She cringed. Turning, she found his expression to be a contrived blank, and he pulled his energy in close to his body the same way he always did when he was angry.

Shit
.
Is he angry?
Her wolf was never really angry for long—at least not with her—but she didn’t want to think she’d hurt his feelings. She was in a unique position to do so, and knew it.

“You’re the quietest wolf in the pack,” Alpha said to him. “You can’t really fault her for not hearing you.”

Darius flitted his gaze to Alpha, but said nothing. He didn’t need to. He might have tried to tamp it down, but his discomfort radiated off him like heat off a radiator.

“Now she isn’t going to ask for whatever she came here for. You couldn’t have waited five minutes? You’re early for your shift.” Alpha took another large bite and stepped out to hail an oncoming vehicle.

Darius crossed his arms over his chest and ground his teeth.

“I’m not trying to get you in trouble. I just want to help,” she said.

“Help what?”

“Help get you what you need, since you won’t ask for it.”

“What is it that you think I need?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you going to act like I haven’t spent the past couple of weeks learning your ins and outs? I may not know everything that has made you the way you are, but I know
who
you are. By now, you should damn well know who I am, and what I’m capable of.”

Alpha stepped back in and carefully wrapped his sandwich. “Catch me on the walkie-talkie if you need anything. I’m gonna go see if I can take my lady for a stroll.”

Darius said nothing. He just watched Alpha leave, and then sat on the low black stool in front of the security video monitors. He adjusted the view on one for a wider image of the westbound road.

She drummed her fingers on the sides of her arms. “I can tell the difference between good silence and bad silence. This is bad silence. You need to talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Anything at all is better than nothing. I know I’m enabling you. I think you’re less social now than you were before you took me as a mate.”

He straightened his spine, and the electric tension in the room raised the hairs on the back of her neck. She needed to calm her wolf. It was a job only she was equipped to do, and that was why she was his mate—why the goddess had chosen her for him. The goddess had equipped Stephanie with the tools to help him. Stephanie couldn’t read any other wolf the way she did her mate, and she knew that wasn’t coincidence.

“And don’t you think I’ve figured out that’s what you need?” She moved slowly across the small room and set her hands gently on his shoulders. She brushed her thumbs along the sides of his neck and hooked her chin over his shoulder. “I know in packs that perception is just as important as reality. I would never do anything to compromise your standing with your peers. I would never shame you.”

Her father had always said she’d end up being some wolf’s shame, and for a while, she’d believed it. In fact, she’d arrived in Norseton believing it. Her baggage had made her forget all the important lessons that art had taught her about layers and expression. About holding her judgment until she’d had time to think.

She skimmed her lips across his stubbled cheek and kissed his jaw.

That alpha energy flared around him, snapping and coiling, but it was less hot now. Less stifling. But he wasn’t the kind of alpha wolf who’d pick a fight. He was the kind who would walk away if he got angry. She didn’t want him to walk away from her in either of his forms.

“I just want to make sure you’re happy,” she said.

“I will be if you don’t run out of patience with me.”

She slipped her hands under his shirt and slid them up his chest. Skin-to-skin contact made talking so much easier. She always knew she was on the right track by the way his muscles relaxed and his breathing slowed.

“Remember, I need you as much as you need me,” she whispered.

“You don’t need me. You’d be okay without me. You’d probably be better off with some human guy who wears a suit to work.”

“I needed a wolf, and I like the one I have. No human guy in a suit would let me make Sharpie doodles on his chest whenever I want.” She nudged up his shirt and took a peek at his pecs. Her black ink drawing of a cross-eyed wolf was still there, though somewhat faded. She giggled at the memory of him trying to scrub it off in the shower with her purple bath pouf. She made them increasingly silly just to see those precious expressions he made when he looked in the mirror at them.

He looked up from his chest and met her gaze. She knew how hard that was for him, so she rewarded him with a kiss on his chin. Weeks ago, she would have never guessed she’d find pleasure in such a chaste act, but she hadn’t known there were wolves like Darius then, either.

“I don’t think I told you. I…I like the ones you do with a bunch of colors. Takes you longer.”

She let his shirt fall back into place and stuffed her hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “You could just ask me to not scurry away so soon when I’m done.”

“Like I said, I don’t want you to run out of patience with me.”

“Gods, Darius, don’t worry about that.”

“Can you blame me?”

She cringed. No, she really couldn’t blame him. She hoped to quickly disabuse him of the notion that she couldn’t be asked for simple favors, though. His happiness was contagious, so it was in her best interest to make him practice that smile.

“What did you want from Alpha?”

“Just reassurance.”

“About what?”

“That this pack is what we both need. Before I came here, I had dreams that it might be. The pack is growing. There are no molds for us here, and I think we have to carve out our places while we have a chance.”

“What did you have in mind?” The last nervous tendrils of his energy dissipated, and she finally let herself take a deep breath.

“We’ll figure it out together. You don’t have to worry about it, because we’re going to help each other. You’re going to teach me how to be a wolf, and I’m going to keep all of the noise and chaos away from you. That’ll be my job, just like teaching art at the school next semester. How about that?”