Lonely Souls (27 page)

“You read my mind,” I whispered.

He held me a little closer as our bodies swayed as one, and I let my mind wander to the possibilities that being held in Logan’s arms had to offer. I rested my head on his chest while we danced, taking in everything this moment presented. It was as if I was worlds away from the problems I was facing, and I wanted to stay here.

“You smell absolutely amazing,” Logan whispered, his lips nuzzling my neck softly and creating a tidal wave of emotions inside me. I was on the verge of collapse if he continued this.

“I was thinking the same of you,” I murmured. “Looks like the lemon verbena soap works well on you.”

I sensed a smile spread across his lips as he tightened his embrace a little more, and I let our pretend world up in the attic swallow us up. I didn’t even know how long we held each other until Logan’s words interrupted my thoughts.

“The lanterns are starting to flicker,” Logan said, letting go of me gently.

He bent down and began winding the lanterns up again, and I forced myself to distance myself a little from the overwhelming feelings that were washing over me. I needed to stay on task, and it was getting harder by the minute.

Giving me one of the lanterns, I held it over the chest, and chills ran through me as I saw what else had been thrown in with the dress.

“Logan, look what’s in here,” I said, pointing in a semi-frozen state, not wanting to disturb anything.

Leaning over he picked up what was laying on top, a black wand with a gold tip.

“Wow, this is beautiful,” he uttered in disbelief.

“It really is,” I replied, bending down to see the book that was at the bottom. “Do you think this is a spell book?”

“It has that look,” he said.

The leather-bound book was so heavy I needed both hands to lift it out of the chest. There were so many pages and pieces of papers sticking out from it that it looked like it was constantly used in its time.

“Triss!” Logan exclaimed, his eyes wide.

“What?” I asked, perplexed by his reaction.

“Look what was underneath the book.” He grabbed the spell book away from me so I could see what he was talking about. I felt all the blood run out of my face as I saw the same type of pendant laying in the chest that was used to target me at the Witch Avenue Receiving Ceremony.

“I don’t understand. No one has been here to stick this in the chest,” I said, shaking my head. I grabbed the arrowhead pendant out of the chest and motioned for Logan to follow me out of the attic. I had enough of the surprises that the attic had in store for me. We needed to figure this out. Logan closed the lid on the chest and followed me closely down the stairs as I was careful not to let the dress touch anything that it could possibly snag on.

Holding the pendant, I walked over to the kitchen table and plopped it down on the butcher block. Logan placed the book next to it, along with the wand. Still feeling like a stranger in this dress, I wanted to take it off immediately. I started to feel claustrophobic and needed out of it as fast as possible.

“This looks really old,” he said, touching the pendant. “I’d be more inclined to think that no one placed this in the chest, but rather someone replicated this one for the ceremony.”

“But who knows about this?” I asked, feeling suffocated by the tons of material weighing me down from this dress.

“I’ll be right back. I’ve got to get this thing off of me,” I muttered as the discomfort level began rising too quickly for me to handle.

“Triss, here,” his voice gentle, “you’re going to need my help.”

Sensing my unease, he added, “I won’t try anything. I promise.”

He was a man of his word as his fingers quickly unlaced the corset, with not even the slightest touch of his fingers against my skin.

“Thanks,” I said, holding up the dress in the front and running to my bedroom. The dress fell to the floor and I stepped out of it, wondering why such an odd feeling was creeping up on me by being in this dress. Or was it that pendant? I had no idea, but Logan and I had a lot to figure out. I grabbed some jean shorts that I had rolled up and a tank. They would have to do. I desperately needed to get some laundry done at the Laundromat in town. One of the many perks of being out in the boonies, no washing machine.

Feeling more like myself, I went into the kitchen to see Logan devouring the spell book.

“Find anything good?” I asked.

“More than I would have thought,” he said. “Check this out.”

He pointed at an image that looked all too familiar.

“Is that black magic?” My mouth went dry as I spoke the words.

“Looks like it to me,” he nodded slowly. “That’s not the only page like it. Moreover, there’s a ton of white magic in here too. It’s weird to have both types in the same spell book. Maybe they did things differently back in the day?”

“Beats me, but that’s not comforting to see the same type of image that came after me at the shop sketched in a family heirloom,” I said pointing at the next page.

“Why isn’t this spell book back in the library at the coven? I thought all of these had to be placed in the library?” I wondered.

“Once the books go in, they can’t come out, and whoever put this in the attic wanted the family to be able to access it at any time,” he replied.

“Interesting considering everything,” I said.

“Isn’t it though,” he asked, continuing to look through the spell book.

“There are no coincidences in life,” I uttered. “Guess that saying is true.”

“Usually is,” he said absent-mindedly. “Triss, you’ve got to see this. Your family crest is an arrowhead.

Chapter 25

We were sitting in the field behind our cottage under the cedar tree, leaning against the broad trunk as we flipped through the spell book. The breeze was picking up, and I scooted closer into Logan, hoping for some warmth to spread from his body. It smelled like rain was on its way, and I secretly wanted an excuse to stay inside with Logan. It was nice being in close quarters with him.

Logan flipped the page, exposing a drawing with a geographical map behind, and a sketch on top of that that looked like a dream world and reality merging somehow.

“There’s a spell for that?” my voice hushed. “Why didn’t you tell me that we could do this?”

“It’s a form of black magic,” he replied, his eyes guarded.

“But it could locate my mom,” I protested, ignoring the guilt washing over me as I taunted Logan with his past. “Why’s that black magic?”

“If she doesn’t want to be found, you are performing very dark rituals on a person who is unwilling. That’s one of the cardinal sins in our tradition. You know that, Triss.” He refused to look at me, his body stiffened.

“I don’t even know what our tradition is anymore,” I almost choked on the words that were spilling from me.

“So you’d be comfortable doing something like this even if it means visiting black magic?” He was solemn, his eyes missing the brilliance they usually held.

I looked at him unable to speak.

“I’ll perform the ritual. I don’t want you to be any part of it,” he muttered.

My heart shattered as he spoke the words.

“No. I won’t let it be done then. Forget it,” I whispered, shutting the spell book on him. “You’ve done so much for me already, and I don’t want you to go to that side again.”

“You think I want you to experience the darkness?” he asked, his voice cold and distant.

“How could one spell be that bad?” I asked.

“This is a very advanced spell, and I don’t mean advanced like you have to be talented to pull it off, I mean the repercussions from it are far reaching. If done incorrectly, it could actually alter the future of the person it was directed toward. I just,” he paused, “I don’t know how else to put it other than to say it’s extremely dangerous for everyone involved.”

“Yeah, but if I don’t have that pull to do black magic, wouldn’t I be a better candidate to perform it? I don’t want anything to pull you back to that. I’ve finally allowed myself to think of a future with us as one, and if something went wrong...,” my voice trailed off.

“Triss,” his voice softening, “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that I’m done with that part of my life. I knew I’d never have a chance with you if I maintained those traditions. You think now that I finally have a chance to be with you I’d throw it away by hopping the fence?”

I shook my head. I knew he was speaking the truth or what he thought was the truth, but he’d even mentioned the pull being hard for many to leave. What if he’s only lying to himself? Knowing more about my father’s background puts things in perspective.

“Let’s just forget about this. I don’t think either of us will be satisfied with one another’s ideas on this. I know I feel strongly about not wanting you to do it,” I replied.

“I can’t lose you, Triss. I’ve at least experienced that side of things and managed to fight my way back. I couldn’t live with myself if you attempted this spell and never made it back to the Triss I love,” he whispered, circling my palm with his finger. “It can be enticing.”

“I would never want to practice black magic. It wouldn’t be tempting to me at all,” I replied emphatically, looking into his blue eyes and hoping he understood I’d never want to experience that side of sorcery, unlike him.

His body recoiled a little at the unintended jab I slung at him. I felt horrible for implying that he would be so easily swayed, but the thought of losing him to that side was beyond frightening. I wouldn’t take that chance. His blue eyes were about ten shades too dark, and I knew I hurt him in a way I never intended.

“If it’s not tempting then why are you discussing it?” he asked.

He made a point that I couldn’t argue with any longer and wasn’t even going to try.

I leaned my head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around me. I felt him sigh and wondered what I could do to make things go back to the way they were before we fell upon this spell. I snuggled in a little more, hoping for a tighter hold while I thought about what would make him forget my harshness. He kissed my hair and gathered it to the side of my neck, giving his lips complete access to my skin. Apparently, he already came up with something to comfort us both.

“This might make you feel better,” he whispered, gliding his lips along my neck, sending chills through my body.

“Oh, Logan,” I whispered. “You are certainly distraction enough,” I giggled.

“Hmm,” he murmured, slowly kissing me, “as are you.”

I moved away from him, turning to look into his eyes, which were full of desire, the same desire I was feeling.

“What are you doing?” he asked coyly.

“You’ll see soon enough,” I teased him.

Taking the black hairband from my wrist, I secured my hair in a ponytail. His eyes were hungrily examining my every move, and I enjoyed it. Sitting back on my knees, I smiled at him, tracing my finger gradually along his hand up to his arm.

“You seem like you might be getting chilled, Logan,” I smirked. “Let me help.”

“Please do,” his lip pulled into a smile, melting my heart.

But that smile did something more deep inside of me. It created a stir of bravery, allowing me to finally embrace my emotions that involved Logan. I could no longer dismiss the flurry of love and desire I had for him.

Taking him completely by surprise, I climbed on top of him, dropping my lips down to his as he embraced me fully. The tree he was sitting up against was the only brace we had, and it was barely enough. With every kiss returned, my soul became stronger as I left the Anima Sola behind. I would no longer hold back. I would give him everything I had as he had done for me.

I wrapped my hand around his neck, unable to stop myself. The more he gave, the more I took, trying with every touch of his lips to break down the walls I had been so vigilant at constructing. The warmth that we were sharing brought me to another world, another time, and I didn’t even notice the raindrops that started to fall until his lips left mine.

“Think we should go in?” His eyes were sparkling with a new liveliness that I wanted to share in.

I shook my head, and I curled in his lap, his hands slowly tracing down my spine, as I thought about everything this meant. The summer rain felt wonderful running between our two bodies, as I rested my head on his shoulder. I felt the dampness from his shirt on my cheek, and I was thankful that the wetness wasn’t caused by tears, only Mother Nature.

“I think I could stay in the rain all day long with you, baby,” he whispered, sending electricity through me, tightening all the muscles in my body.

Baby!
He called me baby, and the way it rolled off his tongue was perfection. I nuzzled in even tighter, taking a deep breath in and letting myself become intoxicated by everything Logan.

I wouldn’t let him do that spell. I would never risk losing this now that I’d finally let myself have it. We would just have to find my mom’s location another way. We were getting close enough without resorting to black magic.

***

“Beeeaatrissss,” a woman’s voice whispered. “Beeeaatrissss.”

Panicking, I turned over slowly and only saw the sheer green curtains blowing in the wind. I had left the window open. There was no streetlamp to bounce the gentle glow of the city inside like I was accustomed to, so I was unable to see anything. It was pitch black, with only the slight glow of the moon, and I was hearing things. Not a good combination, but not that surprising lately.

“Logan, is that you?” I snapped. It had to be Logan teasing me. But how could he get his voice to sound like that?

“Leave now,” the voice hissed.

I searched around the tiny bedroom still seeing no one. My heart was racing, and I couldn’t steady my breath. The thought of getting up from the safety of my bed was terrifying, but it had to be done. I needed to close that window. That’s where the voice had to be coming from. I scooted myself slowly down the mattress, dragging the sheet with me. I kept my back to the wall, not wanting to allow for any person or thing to slip by me. I wanted to fool myself into thinking I could see everything in this blackness and make sure there was no one lurking, but it wasn’t true. I could see nothing.