I filled my hand with one of her beautiful breasts. “Thank fuck for that.”
“They taught me how to keep my cool in dire situations,” she said.
“Again, thank…”
“Miller?
“Hmm?”
“I missed you too,” she whispered. “I tried really hard to ignore it. I’ve always been good at ignoring it and coasting on numb. It didn’t work this time though. This time it just kept hurting.”
“No more numb, no more coasting, missing or hurting. We’re going to live this. Together. Every goddamn day,” I said.
I dug my fingers into her hair and drank from her sweet mouth. Her fingertips traced dizzying circles around my nipple and a tight shiver wound through me. My cock hardened inside her once more.
I pulled her underneath me. “Second time,” I said.
“Wh-what?” Her warm hands slid up my back. I pulled up her knees so they were bent at my sides, then I rocked inside her.
Oh shit, there it was… that little gasp from heaven escaped her lips.
“Second time you got taken, and my life flashed before my eyes.” I ground into her.
Her walls pulsed and throbbed around me as she took me in deeper. Her eyes were glued to mine. Every cell in my body was set to bursting. Only Grace did this to me. No pretenses, no holding back. Only my beautiful Grace.
“I can’t lose you.” I barely recognized my tense voice.
I drove into her again, and she took me all the way inside her.
The bolts inside me loosened for good, the bars unhinged, the latches fell.
“I need you, baby. Can’t lose you.”
“You won’t,” she said.
“God, how I love you.”
“Miller…”
My heart soared out of my chest. “Love you, Grace, love you so goddamn much.”
Her hands dug into the flesh of my back, her hips rolled up towards mine. “I want to feel all of you. Please, baby… more.”
I pounded faster into her. Heat rushed through every inch of me, and I drilled it into her. Her head flew back into the pillow. Her wet eyes stayed on me. Her body squeezed around mine.
This is genuine, total, absolute.
And I’m taking it and holding on.
I let out a hiss and poured myself into my woman’s luscious body and stayed rooted inside her.
“Goddammit, I love you.”
My head rested on Miller’s practically hairless chest. His steady heartbeat filled my ear, and I listened to it as it revealed its secrets to me. His fingers grazed through my hair. I took in a slow, easy breath and enjoyed the looseness in my every limb and the lazy caresses of Miller’s hands down my back.
I raised my head up and kissed his nipple, my tongue swirled around it. His breath hitched and heat flared inside me at the sound. I licked and nuzzled the wing of the tattooed eagle on his upper chest all the way up to the hollow at the base of his long throat. He cupped my ass, pulled me up his body and settled me in his warm embrace. I inhaled the musky scent on his sleek, damp skin and it smelled like…
us
.
That carefully constructed hollow, empty glass box I had lived in for so long had been rendered useless, unnecessary, pitiful even. In fact, it could no longer hold me in. I liked this new fresh, sweet air in my lungs. I breathed out and the glass walls disappeared around me. I stood on the edge unfettered and looked over.
Without a trace of fear or hesitation.
Truth is a painful sword. It cuts deep and stings, but the pain evaporates, the blood dries, and in the place of such savagery is a gleaming absolution and an absolute purity.
It’s blinding. It hurts.
And it is utterly beautiful.
“I love you, Miller Flies as Eagle.”
A slow growl vibrated in his chest. He twisted my body back onto the mattress. His fierce eyes glittered over me.
“You’re all mine now, Grace.” He laid a trail of kisses over my face. “These eyes, these lips and tongue.” His hands and lips roamed over my body. “These tits, this stomach, these legs.” I held my breath. He was baptizing my flesh with his mouth. His fingers dug into my rear. “This ass is mine.” He nudged his nose into my wet heat. “This pussy… all mine.”
“Baby—”
Miller’s mouth sank between my legs, and he sucked hard on what was his.
My fists uncurled in the sheets.
“Get out here, you whore!” Butler’s fists banged on the door.
Oh no.
“The fuck you say!” hissed Miller. He knifed up from the bed, pulled his boxer briefs up his legs, sprang to the door, turned the lock, and threw it open.
“Been listening to you two fuck all night and all morning!” Butler exploded in the doorway.
In a flash Miller’s fist pulled back and landed in Butler’s face. The crack zipped through the air, and my heart rammed up my throat. Butler staggered against the wall and crumpled to the floor. His red eyes pierced mine.
“I’ve been waiting to do that for weeks!” Miller pulled him up by the throat.
I leaned over to the floor and managed to nab Miller’s long sleeve henley. I shoved my head and arms through it. Luckily the shirt was quite long on me, so it would have to do for now, because I couldn’t find my damned underwear.
I scrambled over the bed to the doorway.
“Lock! He’s injured enough as it is.”
“Did you hear what this fucking worm just said about you?” Lock spit out.
“I heard, but I owe him an explanation.”
“You don’t owe him anything!”
“Please,” I wrapped my hand around his elbow just under his bandages. Miller released Butler with a jerk of his hand. Butler stumbled once more.
“Fuck this shit,” Butler struggled to stand up.
“You got that right,” Miller said. He jerked his chin at me. “Get some clothes on.” He scooped up my twisted jeans and panty combo and handed it to me. I went behind the door and tugged them on. I grabbed a heavy sweatshirt of Miller’s that was thrown against his chair and threw that over me too since I wasn’t wearing a bra. I stepped away from the door and went to Butler.
“Let’s get a cup of coffee, alright?” I touched his arm. He shoved my hand away and grimaced.
“Butler?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said. He ambled down the hall. My gaze flew to Lock who had his hands on his hips and a dark scowl on his face.
“You got ten minutes with him and that’s it,” he said.
I closed the distance between us, yet the tension on his face didn’t fade. I raised myself on my toes and planted a kiss on his mouth. He cupped the back of my head and gave me a deep kiss in return.
“That’s the way I wanted to start our day,” he said. His thumb tugged on my now swollen lower lip.
“How about I meet you in the shower in ten minutes and we start our day then?” I asked.
“I’m thinking that would be a very good idea.”
Lock released me and headed for the bathroom. I pulled on my boots and headed for the clubroom.
Butler hunched over the bar and lit a cigarette. His eyes scorched mine as I crossed the room. I poured the fresh brew from the coffee machine on the end of the bar into two mugs and hopped up on the stool next to him. I passed him a mug and swept my hair behind my ears.
“Thank God that bullet just scraped your skin,” I said.
“Yeah, big fucking lucky, that would be me,” Butler said. “Just lucky. Over and over again.”
“Would you rather be lying on a tray at the morgue?”
He looked me in the eye. “Honestly?” He sighed heavily. “I don’t know anymore.”
“You might need to consider getting out for a bit and getting clean.”
“It always comes down to that, doesn’t it?
“Butler, haven’t you hit rock bottom yet?” I asked. “Don’t you want to see things clearly? Trust yourself again? Run your club right? Don’t you want men around you who trust you and you see that trust in their eyes? Do you even remember what that was like?”
He clenched his jaw and took a gulp of hot coffee.
“Vig was going to take it all away from you, and who knows… give it all to Creeper?” I asked. “Where would that have left you? Where would that have left the club you put your heart and soul into all these years? Maybe you can still make things right with Jump.”
His brow snapped together. “I wanted to make things right with you and me.”
“I can’t get on that particular carousel with you. I’ve been there with my mom and with Ruby. There’s no room for anybody else in the house when it’s you and your addictions keeping company.”
He snorted at me, and his blue eyes turned into icy rocks. “But you can get between Lock’s legs right? How long you been fucking him anyway?”
“We actually met by chance before I hit town, before you and me started up. It was a lot of on and off.”
“I hit you on an off night then? Lucky me.” His gaze shifted around the room. I slid an ashtray close to him.
“I wanted you that night at the party, Butler. That wasn’t a lie, but, yes, I had feelings for Lock that I was avoiding.”
That was the truth, but there was no way I could tell him the whole truth.
Hey, honey, actually after our first time together, the club took advantage of us and had me spy on you and your chapter. No hard feelings, okay?
“Guess you’re working them out now, huh?” He squashed his cigarette in the ash tray.
“Yeah, we’re working them out,” I said.
He rubbed his hands over his face. “That’s my problem, Sister. I know what that’s like
,
working on it, making it good,” he said, his voice low, thick
.
“Half these assholes don’t know, don’t care, and that’s just pathetic ‘cause they have no idea what they’re missing. But you know, same as me. You know.”
I nodded. My fingers squeezed around my coffee mug.
“It’s that treasure you’d keep shiny and safe at all costs,” he said. “That thing that drives you to be a better you, that pushes out the garbage you got stuffed inside. Once it’s in, it keeps out the cold and fills you with real heat.” He lit another cigarette. “I thought I had a shot at that again with you.”
My chest tightened. “I have that shot with Lock. I tried to ignore it, because it scared me, it was overwhelming. But I just can’t ignore it anymore. It’s as if I got bitten and the sting won’t stop.”
Butler’s hand went to mine and squeezed my fingers. His forehead sank into his other hand, his eyes slid closed for a moment.
“I never wanted to hurt you or mislead you,” I whispered. “Please forgive me.”
Butler made a noise in the back of his throat and gnawed on his bottom lip. I planted a kiss on his stubbled cheek. “I’m so thankful you’re alive. Stay that way.”
“Maybe,” he said. “Maybe.”
“Did Dawes wake up from the surgery yet?”
“Oh Grace, thank God you’re okay!” Mary Lynn’s arms flew around me.
“I’m fine, Mary Lynn, thanks. Any news about Dawes?”
“We’re still waiting,” Alicia said. “The doctor said the bullet nicked a couple arteries, but they were able to patch them up. He lost a lot of blood though.”
“He has to be okay,” Mary Lynn said. “Dawes even babysits for us, Grace. My kids love him.” Alicia took her hand.
An arm encircled my waist. “How you doing, Sister?” asked Jump.
“I’m okay. Better.”