Living With No Regrets (18 page)

As wet as she was in testament to how much she wanted him, he had to work himself slowly into her tight channel so as not to hurt her.  Grabbing her hips to keep her in place, he rolled over bringing her on top of him so that she could set the pace.  It was taking everything in him to be able to hold back.  To feel her after all of this time was heaven to him and he wanted…he just wanted, but he didn’t want to go too fast or too hard and risk hurting her.  She was so skinny and petite, he felt like he could snap her in half if he lost control.  She wasn’t anorexic thin, but he had seen where she had trouble eating and knew it was because of the spot she said they found on her stomach.

Wiping all of that from his mind, he moaned as Leigh sat up and started undulating her hips into a slow rhythm that was driving him insane.  He slid his thumb to rub over her hard nub, hoping to drive her to orgasm before he did; or at least when he did.  He wanted her to feel just as much pleasure as she was giving him.

Her moans started getting louder and more frequent, and she bent over and melded her mouth to his.  Their tongues dancing before she sucked on his, which he felt all the way to his groin sending over the edge.  He held her in place as he lifted his hips, shoving every inch of himself home into her sheath.

The orgasm went on and on, especially when he felt her tightening around him as she came.  After a few moments, she fell down on top of him; nesting her head under his chin as they both fought to catch their breath.

“No more talking of the past,” she said softly as her breathing leveled out.  “Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.  I love you.”

He laid his hand on her cheek to encourage her to look at him and see the effect of what she’d said to him.  That had been one of the things he’d said to her during his proposal seven years before.  For a man that prided himself on his ability to hold on to his emotions, this woman had broken all of defenses twice in less than an hour.  And he couldn’t be happier.

“You are a wonder to me, Leigh, and I love you with everything I have in me.”

She kissed him lightly before sliding off to the side, and he turned onto his side so they could look at each other as they talked.  Leigh had mentioned that she didn’t want to sleep before heading to the hospital, so they just talked for hours about things he’d missed, not being around with Randy growing so far, though it wasn’t said that way.  He’d told her how he and his father had expanded on the stables and started offering different programs to the community that has brought even more recognition to his ranch.  He didn’t do it for the recognition though, he’d wanted the lower income families and children to be able to experience things they normally wouldn’t have.

“Even with all of that, they still call me the bear of the county,” he said.

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m short tempered and cause a fuss when I don’t get my way,” he smiled ruefully.  “I’ve been in a bad mood for the last few years.  I was alright and just kept to myself until the pastor gave a sermon based on…” he paused and looked away for a minute before turning back.  “I didn’t go back to that church.  He was tainting everyone’s perception of how they should think of you. I didn’t want anyone talking about you in any way in front of me – didn’t want to hear your name – but to know that I had turned everyone against you, and the pastor was facilitating that with his sermons, I felt guilty.  Then I got angry because I was feeling guilty.  Looking back on it, I think God was trying to send me a message, but I just wasn’t listening to what it was saying.”

Leigh looked down for a while and he could tell that she was thinking about everything he’d just said.  They weren’t supposed to bring that up anymore; she’d just said that not that long before, but he felt like it had to get out there.

“Did you tell Pastor Daniel that you never wanted me to come back?  That you never wanted to see me again?” she asked almost too quietly to be heard, but he did hear her and was shocked.

“No!  I never said that to anyone,” he answered vehemently.  “Though I heard Maybelle mention that at the store.  I was wondering why you’d lie about that in the letter you sent with all of the pictures of Randy that first day.  It was another reason I was so mad when I met you by the pond.”

“I promise you, Russell, I didn’t make it up or lie about that.”

“I know,” he ran his fingers down her cheek.  “You’ve never been that kind of woman, but you know how I let my anger overrule my judgment.  If I had let my knowledge of you enter into the equation from the get-go, I would have never even believed the picture to begin with.”

“Kerry felt terrible.” Leigh said.  “She said that she’d tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t see or talk to her either.  That was right before she came to me.”

“Kerry wasn’t as innocent as you think she was, Leigh, but before we talk about her…why did you ask about Pastor Daniel?”

“He’s the one who told me that you’d said not to come back.” Leigh sat up and the cover fell to her lap.  “I had kept in contact with him for a while, but when I told him that I was pregnant and that you wouldn’t answer the phone for me to be able to tell you, he said that you didn’t want any contact with me, was going to change your number, and would be happy if you never saw mw again.  That’s when I tried to send the letters and pictures, but they were all returned to me unopened.”

“Oh my…” Russ was getting so angry, but didn’t want Leigh to think it was directed toward her.  “Baby, I know you said to let the past lie, but I really think we need to talk about all of this.  I think that everything that happened was aged on by other people to build into something bigger than it started off as.”

He sat up and turned so that he was facing her, covered by the blanket as she was.  It was distracting since her breast was uncovered.  He kept wanting to kiss it and make love to her again, but knew that it was important that these things be talked about.  Even if she didn’t remember the conversation, he would be able to talk to her honestly afterward and tell her what they’d said.

“Can we not talk about that stuff later?” she asked.  “I don’t even know if I’ll remember anything after the surgery, and I just wanted to concentrate on us tonight.  I wanted nothing but good thoughts taking me into surgery in the morning.”

“As long as you know that I wanted you to come back, at first.” Taking her hands in his he waited until she was looking him in the eyes.  “I knew that I drove you away with spreading that picture the way I did, and I regretted it.  I still loved you, and I didn’t know what would happen, but after the initial shock of it, I wanted to be able to talk to you about it, but stupid me had changed my number and talked so much shit that I was embarrassed, and by the time you started mailing the packages, I was too angry to care anymore.  I know it’s all my fault, but I want you to know what made me think the way I did.  I will wait, though.”  He brought her hands up to his mouth to be able to kiss each one before pulling her into his arms again.  “I love you.” He said once again, and spent the next few hours showing her how much.

Chapter 13

“Where are you going?  I thought we were eating in the courtyard with the guys and playing flag football.”

Todd and Russ were walking down the hallway leading to the cafeteria, but before reaching it Russ turned left down a different hall.

“Not today,” Russ said over his shoulder.  “I have to do something for Mr. McCain.”

The truth was that he’d been ordered to get tutoring for a couple different subjects that he was close to failing.  If he didn’t pull his grades up, he would be sidelined for the rest of the football season, and he wouldn’t be able to do baseball or any other sport later on.

It irritated him that they would force him into it.  He was their star player on the team, and he didn’t think they should make him bring his grades up.  Football would be his way into college.  He was great at sports, academics not so much.  He would be a rancher like his Pa was, he didn’t need all of that other stuff.

So it was with that chip on his shoulder that he made his way to the library to find his new tutor.  When he opened the double door that led into the quiet space, he looked around to see what nerds were hanging around and which one he was going to be stuck with.

The only people he saw were the librarian, Ms. Hemming, and a couple of students.  One was the douche bag, Bill Huff.  That boy was one of the loners. His parents were screwed up, so most people tended to avoid him.  Some of his friends liked him okay, but he got on Russ’ nerves for some reason.

Bill was straddling his chair facing a cute brunette, and they were talking in low voices.  They had books in front of them, but it didn’t seem that Bill was paying attention to anything but the girl.

Russ walked over to Ms. Hemming and asked if she knew who was supposed to do the tutoring.

“Leigh Hampton over there does most of the tutoring for the freshmen and sophomores,” she said politely.  “If I were you, I would go ask her.”

Russ was surprised to hear that the cute brunette was Leigh Hampton.  His parents were close to the Hamptons and had suffered greatly at Mr. Hampton’s passing.  He never knew their daughter was a looker.  Maybe he could get a few dates out of this tutoring thing to make it worth his while.

“What’s going on?” Bill asked as he reached the table.  Russ got the vibe that He didn’t want him there.

“I’m supposed to meet my tutor here,” he answered not paying attention to Bill, just the girl.  “Ms. Hemming said it might be you?”

When she turned and looked at him full on, all the air seeped from his lungs.  He’d heard women described as enchanting before, but never understood the meaning until right then.  Her eyes were big and brown; somewhere between amber and milk chocolate.  She had a pert little nose that went perfectly with her small round porcelain doll face, and her lips were naturally red and plump; again a seemingly perfect fit for her face.

“Yes.  My name’s Leigh Hampton.  You must be Russell,” she said as she threw a thousand watt smile his way.  “Mr. McCain asked me to help you in any subject you needed help on.”

“Um, yeah.” He looked over at Bill and wanted him to disappear so he could talk to Leigh alone.  “Why don’t you head on over to the cafeteria.

For the first time Russ could remember, Bill seemed to get mad and when he answered him, he heard the anger and attitude in his voice.  He’d never gotten like that with anyone because he usually tried to avoid conflict.

“I don’t think so,” Bill said, and it seemed that he was going to say something else, but Leigh, who had lost her smile, spoke up first.

“Number one, Bill is my friend, and you will speak to him with respect when you are around me,” she said, anger clearly coloring her words.  “Number two, I am helping him with his Chemistry as I have been from the beginning of this semester, and finally, I don’t have to help you.  I am volunteering, but I will not help stuck a up jerk like you unless you can learn to act more human towards others you feel are not ‘in the same league’ as yourself.”

Russ just stood there with his jaw hanging in shock.  No one had ever spoke to him that way, and what shocked him even more was the fact that he liked it.  He liked it a lot.  He figured he’d better change his tune if he wanted to get closer to this girl.

“I’m sorry,” he told her, and then turned to Bill.  “Yo man, I’m sorry.  I just don’t want nobody judging me for needing help.  I don’t want people up in my business.”

He actually felt a little bad that Bill seemed to brighten up at his apology.  He pulled out the chair on the other side of Leigh and sat down.  “So…do we meet here every day at lunch?”

“No.  We wouldn’t have time to eat.” Leigh turned to him, and he felt excited like a kid getting his momma’s attention.  “Bill and I usually get together after school, or if that isn’t good for you, I can do weekends after 2pm.  I work mornings at the store.”

He thought about that for a minute, but knew that just a few hours on the weekend wouldn’t be enough time with her.  He couldn’t after school because he had football practice, and even if he didn’t, he didn’t want to have Bill around when he was with her.  That made him wonder if they were dating.  He would ask Bill about that later.

“If I found us a class to be able to eat in, could we do it during lunch?”

“That should be fine.” She looked over at Ms. Hemming.  “I’ll go ask if we can use the research room.  Ms. Hemming doesn’t have a class in here during this time.  It’s her lunch time, too.”

While Leigh was over at the circulation desk, Russ turned back to Bill and noticed that he watched Leigh pretty closely.  “Are y’all together?”

Bill looked at him and snorted.  “I wish,” he looked back at Leigh longingly.  “We’ve been friends for a while.  I love her, but I can’t seem to get her to look at me that way.  She said she doesn’t have time for boyfriends and going out; too many more important things for her to concentrate on.”

Not even wanting to register everything Bill said, he concentrated on the fact that they were only friends.  Maybe he had a shot with her.

*****

“Why don’t you head to the house for a bit?”

Russ jumped as Mary Leigh woke him from the light doze he’d been in.  He didn’t even hear the door open to signal her entering.  Sitting there holding Leigh’s hand, he didn’t really want to leave her, but they had decided to take shifts with her so that they could each eat, rest, and spend time with Randy to help him keep his mind off his Momma so much.