Living With Lies Trilogy (Books 1, 2, and 3 of The Dancing Moon Ranch Series) (61 page)

"Do you think there are ghosts in the cave?" the boy asked.

"The Native Americans claim there are spirits," Sam said. "The legend goes back a ways. No one said anything about ghosts."

While he was addressing other questions, there was a rustling in the room and heads begin to turn. He looked over to see what had caught everyone's attention, and when he saw Jayne standing in the back of the room, with Becca beside her, and holding her hand, he couldn't help thinking it was a big mistake. From the heads coming together and talking in hushed tones, it was obvious, word about Jayne had spread. He also knew she could not help but realize they knew. Yet, she stood with her back straight, and her head high.

He'd been the last parent to speak, so after he'd finished, he took his seat beside his mother, who was clearly as surprised to see Jayne there as he was, even leaning toward him and saying, "Did you know she was coming?"

Sam shook his head, and said to his mother, "I gave her money to take Becca shopping." Then he waited as Jayne walked forward to stand in the front of the room.

When everyone had quieted down, Jayne said, "My name is Jayne Hamilton, and I want to begin by telling you that I have recently accepted the most important job of my life, and that is becoming the mother to my daughter, Becca, who I was forced to give up for adoption ten years ago, and this is why..."

After Sam got over the shock that Jayne had come to tell all, he waited intently for what she was about to say...

"My story goes back to when I was seventeen and I thought I knew better than my parents. Maybe some of you feel that way at times. Before then, I was a good student, and I followed house rules and wanted to make my parents proud, and then this guy came along—Becca's father—and everything in my life changed..."

As Jayne told her story, including everything leading up to the arrest, and what it was like to be forced to the ground with a foot in the middle of her back, and hand cuffs clamped onto her wrists, Sam could see her hands shaking, and he heard the quiver in her voice, but as she poured out the past, like draining the dregs from a wine barrel, he couldn't help but admire the strength and courage it took for her to stand up there and tell her story to a crowd that wasn't completely receptive, yet listened because they were curious.

"For ten years," she continued, "I never contacted my parents because I was so ashamed, and when I got out of prison, I still tried to run from my past by hiding it from everyone I met. I even landed the job at Dancing Moon Ranch with a fabricated resume." Her gaze slid to Sam then, and when he started to interject that she was the best manager the ranch has ever had, her dark look warned him not to interfere.

"But the thing is," she said, "living with lies can be very wearing, and you can't run from your past indefinitely because it will always catch up with you. I know that now, which is why I decided to come here today." The soft chatter that followed was accompanied by heads bobbing up and down, and the looks of coolness and curiosity Sam saw earlier had changed to admiration. He felt it too. But what he felt went deeper than admiration. He was in awe of this woman. She had an inner strength one could not help but respect.

He also decided she would be his wife, even if it meant leaving the ranch and finding a job so they could live where Becca could attend her old school. Ricky would have to adjust, and maybe the move would be good for him.

When the crowd settled again, Jayne continued. "There's a boy sitting in the room who actually did me a favor." She smiled at Ricky, who looked baffled. "Ricky Hansen gave me a reason to stop running from my past. But now for the good part." Jayne looked to the back of the room, where Becca stood, and said, "I have the honor of being my daughter's mother. Becca is an extraordinary young lady, and now I want to end by telling you a little bit about her..."

Jayne briefly explained what a person with multiple sclerosis goes through, and followed with a very sensitive account of the devotion and loving care Becca had given her mother from a very young age. When Jayne stepped down to hug Becca, everyone clapped vigorously, and as Sam looked around the room, he saw many faces with watery eyes, his mother's included.

Turning to him, Maureen said, "I'm sorry, son, for misjudging Jayne, and you're right. She is an extraordinary woman."

Sam patted his mother's hand, and said, "An extraordinary woman I'll be proud to have as my wife, if she'll agree to marry me. I assume you and the others will have no objection."

Maureen smiled and squeezed Sam's hand. "I believe she's exactly what you and Rick need in your lives. And yes, the others will be very happy."

The crowd dispersed, leaving Becca standing within a circle of classmates, with Ricky off to the side, watching her intently. Walking over to where Ricky stood, Sam said to him, "So, what do you think of Jayne now?"

Ricky gave a shrug, and replied, "I guess she's okay."

Sam was miffed that Ricky showed no more enthusiasm, but he also suspected he thought Jayne was a lot more than
just okay
. But the next few days would be the test.

***

Jayne eyed Sam with apprehension. "I think it's way too soon to approach the kids about us getting married," she said, even though she'd decided it wasn't too soon for them to make plans. Maureen and Grace loved the idea of a ranch wedding, but Jayne still didn't have the engagement ring on her finger. That would come after they told the kids.

With a picnic lunch stashed in the back of the truck, and Ricky and Becca on the bench seat just behind, playing a game of Kids Medical Trivia Pursuit that Becca brought along, they headed for Lincoln City and the Pacific coast.

The
miracle of the children
happened the night before, when Ricky learned that Becca planned to be a doctor too, an endocrinologist who would one day discover a cure for MS. Ricky found that immediately cool, and after Becca accepted the black kitten, which she named Sparky because there were little golden sparks in his eyes, the kids seemed to put everything behind.

Sam's announcement that they pack a picnic lunch and head for the coast was met with cheers. He'd had little time alone with Jayne to plan their approach as to how to announce their intentions, but it was agreed that once at the beach, they'd split up with their individual kids for beach combing, and during that time, pave the way for the announcement. Sam had the ring in his pocket and intended to put in on Jayne's finger, permanently, before the day was done.

A couple of hours later, Sam turned into a parking area near a beach known for the abundance of agates that washed ashore, and parked the truck. The kids scrambled out and rushed to the water's edge, where they immediately started looking for agates, and Sam took the moment to pull Jayne into his arms and kiss her soundly. "I love you, honey," he said, "and since I want to put a ring on your finger, we'd better get on with things, but from the way the kids have been getting along I think we're half way there."

Jayne looked up at him, but her face was sober. "I love you too, sweetheart," she said, "but I want you to be absolutely sure you'll never regret being married to a jailbird because that's something I can't change. I am what I am."

"I know what you are," Sam said, "and I have never been more sure of anything in my life." He kissed her again, shorter, sweeter. "You are exactly what I want for a wife for me, and a step-mother for Rick, and although I've never had a daughter, I'll love Becca as my own. She will be surrounded by boys at the ranch though, but I think she and Rick will bond as brother and sister. Look how much they've enjoyed each other's company the past couple of days. I just want you to be sure I can live up to your expectations."

Jayne reached up and touched Sam's face. "I'm very sure," she said. "You are the love of my life, and I do want us to be a real family, and no more sneaking around to
do it
." She gave him a glowing smile that had its usual effect.

"You do realize I'm ready to do it right here on the spot."

"Yes, sweetheart. It's rather difficult for you to hide."

"Then I propose a small, nice wedding that won't take more than a month to plan."

"Umm, I was thinking more like a week."

"Then it's done. A week and no fuss. Just me and my beautiful bride."

"And your mom. And Grace and Jack and the kids... and Flo... And Brad and Justine and Sophie will have to drive back up from California... And I guess we should ask my mom and dad and Lydia and Denny. And I suppose my Uncle Clay should come too. I haven't seen him in years. And your mom's brother, Greg..."

"Honey, we'd better make it a month. But you need to keep the cabin clear, since you'll have a ring on your finger."

"I absolutely agree." Jayne kissed him to seal the deal.

Reluctantly, Sam broke the kiss and glanced toward the ocean, where Ricky and Becca were bent over something embedded in the wet sand, and called for them to come back. As the kids made their way towards them, Sam said, "Rick, you and I will go this way," he pointed north, "and Becca, you and your mom go that way. We'll meet here in a half hour and see how many agates we have. Ten agates gets us ice cream cones. Fifteen gets us ice cream and a bag of salt water taffy, and twenty gets us ice cream, taffy and tickets to the undersea gardens in Newport."

After an explosion of "Yeas," they split up.

A few minutes later, while walking alongside Rick, whose eyes were scanning the wet sand where a wave had just receded, Sam said, "So, what do you think of Becca now?"

"She's cool," Ricky replied.

That was easy, Sam thought.

"You two seem to have a lot in common," he added. "Becca wants to go into medical research, and you want to be a doctor."

"Yeah, that's cool too," Ricky said.

Sam felt a little uneasy. He hadn't expected things to go so well. But then, maybe the time was right, so he forged on. "You and Becca are also each an only child."

"Yeah, that sucks," Rick replied.

"I can fix that," Sam said, jumping at the opening he hadn't expected.

"For real!" Rick yelped. "I always wanted a brother."

"Not a sister?" Sam said, testing.

"No way," Rick replied. "Girls are always telling secrets and giggling and acting stupid."

"But a sister would be different," Sam insisted.

"How so?" Rick turned and looked at Sam.

"Well..." Sam paused. This was the moment of truth. How was Becca different from every other ten-year-old girl Rick knew? How would she take the place of a brother, the brother Rick already had and believed was his cousin? Sam felt the usual disquiet that came when he thought about what Rick was being denied, the knowledge that Marc was his brother.

"Becca's not so bad," Rick said, surprising the hell out of Sam. "She doesn't like girly things, and she knows all about what it's like to be sick since her mother's sick."

"Then maybe she could replace a brother?" Sam asked, tentatively.

"No," Rick replied, "but she'd be okay until I get a brother." He looked at Sam and waited.

Sam said nothing. How did he break it to Rick that because of chemo, he couldn't father any more kids, especially since Rick had also had chemo prior to his cord-blood transplant, and it would be years before they'd know if he was fertile...

"Are you going to marry Jayne?" Rick asked, pointedly.

So now, all the chips were on the table. Not the way he'd planned. He'd only planned to pave the way for him and Jayne to make their announcement together. He nodded. "I've asked her to marry me and she said yes. So Becca would be your sister."

"I still want a brother," Rick said. "You and Jayne could have a baby, and maybe he'd be a boy."

"Jayne and I can't have any kids," Sam said. "I'm no longer able to because I had chemo when I got cancer shortly after you were born. I never told you because everything's fine now, I'm completely recovered and that's the way it is."

"Why can't you have kids if you've had chemo?" Rick asked, looking directly at Sam and waiting for his response.

Sam wasn't ready for any of this. The whole conversation was one he hadn't planned on having for several years. "Because chemo sometimes does things that stops men from being able to produce sperm to fertilize the woman's egg. Everything else works fine though," he added.

Rick eyed him, curiously. "Everything else like what?"

"Like when... like when..." Sam paused.

Like I'm not a eunuch... like whenever Jayne's around I'm cocked and ready... like I can satisfy Jayne in every way... except give her a child...

"Nothing. I'm fine."

Rick didn't reply, and although he was walking alongside Sam and staring down at the water's edge, Sam knew he wasn't looking for agates, but was trying to sort through things. He hoped Rick would be satisfied with his sketchy explanation about his inability to father a child.

To his dismay, Rick said, "I had chemo before my cord-blood transplant. Does that mean I can't have kids?"

"No," Sam assured him. "Just because a person has chemo doesn't mean he becomes sterile."

"Then why are you?" Rick asked.

Sam heaved a long sigh. He definitely wasn't prepared to get into all this today, but Rick asked, and he deserved an explanation. "Because I had cancer in my testicles," he explained, "which meant the therapy was aimed in that area, which is where sperm is produced, and because I was already a mature man, that is, I was already shaving, that makes it different. You were just a baby and not ready to reproduce, so you're probably fine." He realized after he'd said it that including the word
probably
added an element of doubt that wouldn't be there without it, and he hoped Rick would overlook it.