Living Lies (4 page)

She was going to have to be brave and confront him with her concerns.

Melanie woke early, too early but too restless to linger in bed. Lacing up her running shoes she went out to meet the cloudy gray morning. It was an hour before sunrise, her favorite time of the day. The air was crisp, clean and quiet, with just the hint of morning promise. Most of the city slept and the aroma of coffee brewing and donuts baking wafted from nearby bakeries, arousing her senses.

The track was deserted, and the dew from the grass clung to her shoes as she cut through the field.

Danny
, she thought, her body airless in mid-stride.

She was scared of saying the wrong things or pushing him away and wrecking the possibilities. But she couldn’t just sit and wait for the proverbial “other shoe” to drop.

Melanie sighed. The red track was hypnotizing and she was at the top of the turn again, having lost count of the number of laps. She started back at zero and kept running.

It was tempting simply to go along with it, to surrender to his attention. It was exactly what she wanted. Kissing Danny – Danny Ashe! – in her apartment, being in his Jeep was amazing, but the fear that she was the butt of a practical joke was overwhelming.

Through the misty morning, Melanie ran while mentally re-hearsing possible scenarios, complete with reaction and commentary. She edited questions and responses until they were perfect; subtle yet definitive.

At the sound of knocking she was ready, with preparation as her line of defense. Never mind that the sight of him constricted the passage of oxygen through her airways or that her heart trembled just knowing he was behind the door – she was strong.

“Hi, come in,” she smiled, wondering how he could be
more
gorgeous than any image she’d conjured all day.

“Hi,” he greeted her without a kiss, but walked right into the apartment.

She locked the door and when she turned back around he was watching her, a crooked grin cut across his face.

“You look beautiful.” His hands were on her waist.

“Danny, I’m in jeans,” she said, trying to squirm out of his trance-like gaze.

He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter what you wear, you’re still beautiful.”

Oh, my God, who cares why he’s here
, she thought nestling against his chest.

“You say the nicest things.” She looked up into his eyes, unmarred at the moment, making her chuckle.

“What’s funny?” he asked, squinting.

“I was just thinking how handsome you are even without a black eye or tape on your nose.” Before she realized what she was doing she reached up and caressed his face. Danny turned his head slightly and kissed the palm of her hand. It was too much. Her body stiffened as she backed away, planting her butt on the couch.

“Everything okay?” He sat next to her.

None of her scenarios had begun this way, and Melanie was left to improvise. Unconsciously, she chewed on her bottom lip.

“I don’t know,” she said, looking him straight in the eye.

He said nothing, waiting for her to continue, his eyebrows low and knitted tightly together. Melanie wasn’t sure but she thought she saw a look of anxiety beneath his confusion.

Maybe that’s your own reflection
, she considered.

“Why are you here?” It blurted out so fast that she hadn’t time to stop or think. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like that you’re here. I really, really like that you’re here, I just don’t understand why.”
So much for tactfulness, finesse and grace,
she thought, nervously squeezing tight fists and then drying her palms on her jeans.

Danny ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m not sure I know what you mean. I thought it would be nice to spend time with you, that’s all.”

Melanie bit hard into her lip and felt sick.

“Danny?” she breathed, disappointed by his response.

Their eyes locked, and he sighed.

The lump in her throat had swollen, choking her breath as her worse-case scenario played out. Looking away, she blinked to clear her watery eyes.

When she spoke, her voice was small, “I’ve had this huge crush on you forever and now you’re here and it doesn’t make any sense. There’s something you’re not telling me, and if this is just a big joke, well, I don’t think it’s funny.” She stood with her arms folded and her jaw set.

“Melanie, this isn’t a joke. I want to be here with you.” He stood to face her, “Wait,” a slight smile emerged, the sadness faded and his eyes danced. “Did you say you had a crush on me?” A bit of his usual cockiness returned.

“Danny.”

“No, Mel, this is good, it makes it so much easier.” His calloused hands on her arms gently pushed her back onto the couch. He crouched in front, resting his weight on the edge of the rickety coffee table.

She tried to read his eyes but they were filled with emotion and hers were blurry.

“It’s crazy, Mel.” He dropped his eyes and his voice quivered slightly, releasing a deep, pent-up breath. He began slowly. “Before finals week, do you remember?” He looked up only for an instant. “At the coffee shop, you were sitting at the back table with some old guy. I didn’t think anything of it at first but you were looking at him with such intensity, hanging on his every word. I’d never seen you like that before. Then you smiled at him, so beautiful, so easy, that I wanted you to look at me that way. I waved to you but you didn’t notice me.” He twisted his twined fingers, nervously.

Melanie knew what he was talking about. She’d met with Agent Collins a few times prior to her assignment; at the library, in an empty classroom and once at the Java Hut. She’d been engrossed, not with Collins but with the mission. The café had been merely background noise that day. She couldn’t recall having seen Danny at all.

The corners of his mouth pulled down. He looked embarrassed.

“I told you it sounded crazy. Then, the following Friday, I wanted to talk to you at the club but you were never alone. When I finally worked up the courage to approach you, I couldn’t find you. I know it’s irrational.” He shook his sandy hair then smoothed the rough edges with the pass of a hand. “I can’t explain it, you and I barely know each other outside of class, but that day I saw you differently. I left for Denver thinking that I could just shake it off but instead you followed me. I thought about you constantly, picturing you with him and you with me.” His unsure brown eyes on hers. “You know what I mean? I couldn’t stop torturing myself, so I decided to find out why you’d suddenly become so intriguing, changed my flight and came home.”

Danny Ashe couldn’t stop thinking about ME?

“Mel, you’re making me a little nervous.” His smile was crooked, different somehow. “I was afraid to call you yesterday,” his smile widened, “I had no idea you liked me. I thought you’d say no – why would you waste your time with a dumb jock? Melanie, say something.” He shook her knees.

“How could you
not
know I had a crush on you?”

Danny laughed, “You never speak to me outside of class. If we collide somewhere, the club or the coffee shop, you barely acknowledge my existence. How could I have known?”

She had never considered his angle. Could this be right?

“I’m shy,” she said, narrowing her eyes.

“Four years of shy?” His laugh was light, relieved. “What do you think about what I just told you?”

She shook her head, numb.

“Okay, then how are you feeling this instant?”

“Like I swallowed a pit bull and he’s chomping and clawing to get out.”

“A pit bull? I was hoping for butterflies.”

Melanie laughed.

Then an unsettling thought weaseled its way into her mind.
What if I can’t compete with his imagination?

She was constantly worried about living up to her scholarship and to everyone’s expectations. It was exhausting, mentally and physically. Was there room to add Danny to the mix?

“I hope I don’t disappoint you,” she said, wearily.

“Mel, I don’t have any expectations. I just want to hang out with you and we’ll take it day by day. Besides, you said you’ve had a crush on me for ‘forever’” he lifted his left eyebrow, grinning, “What if I’m not who you think I am?” He knelt in front of her. “What do you say, can we give this a try?”

What could she say? She’d been in love with him for years, or at the very least infatuated, and here he was on his knees. She chuckled at how easily it had twisted.

“Yes. I guess it’s you and me.” It was an effort to pull away from his soft lips. “Danny, you’re more than I thought.”

“You are, too.”

“So, you’re here, like, for real?”

Danny’s eyes widened, devilishly, his grin mischievous.

“I’m here,” he smiled, his eyes were focused and sure, “until you kick me out.”

Melanie nodded. “Get comfortable.”

His skilled lips firmly pressed against hers as she toiled with her own lack of experience. He’d kissed too many girls.

“What’d you have planned today?”

Melanie shook her head, “I’ve done it.” She felt awkward not having any pressing engagements. “I ate breakfast and I ran, almost ended things with you. Actually it’s been a busy day.”

He shook his head, his golden hair swaying perfectly with the movement. “You run?”

Melanie laughed, “You don’t know anything about me. It’s really my only hobby.”

“Tomorrow I’m running with you.” Danny stood and pulled her up with him. “Let’s go somewhere.”

They drove to the roller coaster at Mission Beach.

Danny’s zest for life was contagious. Trotting toward the carnival booths, he held firmly to her hand, slowed his gait and kept her alongside.

“I’m going to win you a bear,” he declared.

“Maybe I’ll win
you
a bear.” She offered, laughing at his exhilaration over a stuffed toy.

They headed toward the only game she knew she had a chance, throwing a Nerf ball through a basketball hoop. Even as a child she had a unique dexterity for the game. She’d passed the pretzel vendor and the ticket booth before realizing she’d lost Danny.

He stood 10 paces back with an euphoric grin.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, closing the distance.

He wound his arms around her waist and forced her until her back was against a wall.

“I could have sex with you right now.” His lips had already found a ticklish spot on her neck.

“Danny!” she gasped, nudging his shoulders.

“I know, I know.” He came up from behind her veil of hair with a groan. “Everyone says I move too fast and you’re not
that
girl, so I
am
going to be a perfect gentleman.” He smiled, stepped away from her and winked. “At least for a day or two.”

Melanie froze, still pressed to the wall.

“Well, come on woman, win me a prize.”

A bear, monkey and dolphin later they stopped to eat a burger.

Riding on Danny’s shoulder the large blue dolphin mocked Melanie in a high-pitched voice.

“Seriously, I can’t believe how you ruled that game.”

With Danny’s egging, Melanie had upgraded three smaller dolphins for the one that was mocking her. She shrugged, squeezing the silent monkey.

“Ring toss is no easy challenge.”

She bit into her tasteless, waxy burger as the roller coaster whooshed overhead.

“Let’s do that,” he challenged.

Melanie looked at the shaky wooden structure and scrunched her face.

“Chicken?” asked the “dolphin”.

“No,” she thought of the two lonely dollars in her wallet. The dolphin clucked and she smiled. “It’s too expensive.”

“Who’s asking you to pay?” Danny was back.

“You’re a college student, you have no money.”

“I’m on scholarship, the school gives me a stipend and I get cash from my dad.”

I’m on a scholarship
, she thought, a bit ruffled. “Save your money, Danny.”

“My dad pays me to be happy,” he said, seriously. “It’s the least he can do, and right now you and me on that roller coaster would make me happy.”

Melanie’s heart sputtered.

“You’re not really scared, are you?”

“No,” she wasn’t. She was wistfully absorbing the moment.

“Come on, chicken,” the dolphin said, rubbing its nose in Melanie’s face.

“You do know that I’m going to toss that fish off the side.”

Danny laughed, “Don’t get mad at him, he likes you. Besides he’s going on my bed.” Melanie thought their laughter was harmonious. “These burgers suck. Let’s grab something else on the way home.”

That evening Melanie and Danny kicked back on her couch. She turned on the TV but Danny watched her.

“You’re comfortable,” he said, scooting closer and draping his arm over her shoulders.