Living Dangerously (27 page)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Troy would’ve kissed her right then. Would’ve said screw the clock, his uncle—father—could wait, and he would’ve lifted her onto the table, spread her legs and taken her hard and fast, but a car pulled up outside. He rested his forehead against hers. “For the record, I’m really glad you’re here. With me. Right now.”

Her soft, supportive smile beamed up at him, her blue eyes gazing at him, brimming with emotion. He’d seen that look before on the movie screen...and in the bathroom a few minutes ago. Jesus, if he didn’t know better...

Right on time, his uncle rapped on the door.

“You want me to get that?” Julie asked.

Troy pulled away and shook his head as he moved for the door. “Nope. I got it.” She was right. They were—basically—the same people they were before. They just had a new connection. Maybe this meant he didn’t have to stay away. Maybe it meant visits back here...to this place that had been built for him. He opened the door, and Zach stood there, his eyes narrowed, his lips in a half quirk and every cell of his body looking uncomfortable. Troy wasn’t sure how to greet him and clearly his uncle felt the same. He opened the door wider and gestured him inside. “C’mon in.”

Zach nodded and stepped in, but only a couple of feet. He stopped suddenly, turned to Troy and hugged him tight.

Unused to the closeness, Troy awkwardly hugged him back.

With a last tight squeeze, Zach pulled away, stuck his hands in his jeans pockets and headed to the sofa. “Hi,” he said to Julie.

She smiled and waved. “Hello. Can I get you something to drink? Or eat?”

Troy loved how Julie tried to make the situation more bearable for all of them.

Shaking his head, Zach waved off her offer. “I’m good, thanks.” His gaze landed on Troy, and Troy knew there was no more running to be done.

“Have a seat.” He gestured to the sofa but Zach gave him a wry grin.

“I’m good.” He ran his hands through his hair. “God, Troy, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this day. I can’t believe...” He looked at Troy the way a father might look at his son, with pride, with love. With all the things Troy had never known from a father. “How come you never came back until now? What kept you away?”

A fair question. One Troy had asked himself only a few times over the years. In his periphery, he watched Julie slowly back to the edge of the room. Her way of giving them privacy, but Troy wanted her to know the things that mattered to him. Because he wanted those things from her when the time came. He caught her eye and motioned her back with a quick gesture of his head to the spot next to him. She stopped moving, but didn’t come closer.

What had kept him away? The question still hung in the air. “I honestly didn’t know if anyone wanted to see me again. After high school, I took classes at a junior college and worked to cover the tuition and board. I was pretty busy.”

“Did you get your degree?” The unmistakable hope in Zach’s eyes sent a shot of pride down Troy’s spine. Neither his dad nor uncle had gone to college. They’d worked in the town’s automotive shop since high school. From the looks of the cabin, his uncle had moved up in the ranks.

Troy shot a glance to Julie. “I got a degree in Criminal Justice.”

Zach’s eyes widened and he smiled. “No shit. Are you a cop? Uh, a police officer?” he amended quickly.

Troy would’ve smiled, but they were getting too close to home with this line of questioning. Yes, he wanted Julie to know who he was, but he had to tell her about his real occupation when they were alone. This didn’t seem like the time to tell them he’d worked part—time for a private investigation firm while in college. But getting those required hours had helped him acquire his own license that much faster.

“He’s a bodyguard,” Julie said. Maybe she thought his silence was because he was embarrassed to be a bodyguard. Either way, Troy didn’t correct her. He had been playing a bodyguard to Ari even if it had been as a cover. But he saw a new look in Julie’s eyes very similar to the one on Zach’s face. Her soft smile only brought home that he needed to tell her the truth sooner rather than later.

Zach nodded. It’s possible his smile dimmed just the slightest and Julie, being as much of an observer as he, noticed.

“He saved my life. A couple of times,” she said. She definitely wanted Zach to be proud of him. Maybe she thought it mattered to Troy or maybe she was doing it for Zach. Either way, without saying a word, he’d now become a liar to his father.

Zach’s gaze shot to Julie then back to Troy, the concern in his eyes evident. “That sounds serious.”

“He nearly died saving me the first time.”

Troy resisted the urge to grin because now the drama was coming out of the actress. She clearly felt the need to drive home the point that his chosen profession was worthwhile.

“When was this?” Zach asked, his eyes narrowed.

“A few months ago,” Julie said. “He got shot.”

“She got shot twice,” Troy said, making sure Zach knew the real story. But he never took his eyes off Julie and she had her gaze locked onto his.

“But he was working for someone else and saved
me
.”

He’d do again in a heartbeat. “The best decision of my life.” The words were too intimate, said with too much emotion, but Troy couldn’t seem to keep the feeling out of his tone. He saw the shift in Julie’s eyes. Saw that she understood what he was saying without the actual words. It was another solid reminder that he needed to come clean with her, so he tore his gaze away from her amazing blue eyes and brought it back to Zach. “I happened to be at the right place at the right time.”

“Or wrong place at the wrong time, depending on how you look at it,” Julie said.

“I’m just glad you’re both okay.” Zach glanced between them. “Is that how you two met?”

Julie’s hint of a smile turned his hard heart to mush.

“It is,” he said. But he couldn’t talk about his relationship with her just now. “To get back to your other question. With Mom gone, I didn’t see much reason to come back. Plus there existed the possibility that my dad—Jim—moved back and I wanted to stay clear of him. I honestly didn’t think anyone missed me.”

Zach’s hurt gaze stabbed a knife in his chest. “I missed you, son. I missed you.” Zach moved away from the fireplace and sat on the end of the sofa. Troy took the spot on the other side. “You know, Celia and I tried for years and couldn’t have kids. And here I was so jealous of Jim because I thought he got your mother pregnant before they were even married.

“It was just the one night. One night when I was so hurt and broken and she was there trying to pick up the pieces.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I never knew her feelings for me were so strong. I only knew she helped me through a very dark time. I loved your Aunt Celia from day one. When she broke things off with me, I thought that was it. I didn’t see how I could live without her.” He chuckled but there wasn’t any humor in it. “We had ten amazing years together, but it was your mother who got the prize. She got you.”

Troy had never imagined hearing this information. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

“I missed all those years with you,” Zach said. He exhaled a short burst of air. “You know, the thing of it is, had I known, I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done. I loved Celia. Your mother was sweet and I had a special place for her...” Zach trailed off and shook his head. “She got a raw deal,” he finally said. “So did you.” He looked up. “You were always special to me, Troy. You were the son I wanted so badly. The son I never had. When Jim took you away, I think he knew he was taking the last thing that meant anything to me.”

“How long do you think he knew about it?” Troy asked.

“Hard to say. Celia died and I think he worried that your mother was going to take the chance and tell me about you.”

“Worried enough to push her down a flight of steps?” Troy wondered aloud.

Zach’s face drained of color. “What?” The surprise in his tone matched the look on his face. “Did you see that?” he finally asked.

“No. I heard her fall and came in after she...” He closed his eyes and saw her sprawled out on the floor, her head at an odd angle. He swallowed back the emotion that threatened to destroy him every time he thought about that night. Shaking his head, he felt the sting in his eyes just as he had when he’d looked up to see his father at the top of the stairs. Though there might have been surprise in the man’s eyes, Troy saw evil.

“Were they arguing?” Zach asked.

Troy nodded. They’d always argued. More like Jim argued and his mother took it until she had to say something. That’s when he hit her. He provoked her into an argument just so he could blame the violence on her.

“That’s why you quit talking, isn’t it? Jim threatened you.” Zach didn’t make it a question. Maybe he knew his brother after all.

“Not in so many words. It was the look on his face, the threat in his eyes. He made himself real clear without saying a damn thing.” Troy barely glanced at Zach and felt sick for being so weak so many years ago. He remembered the fear so clearly. Remembered thinking he could be next to accidentally fall down some steps or the person he told would have some mishap kill them.

Running a hand through his hair, Zach shot to his feet and paced to the front window. “I haven’t heard from him since you both left. He made it clean. No connection.” He paused. “We should find him.”

The thought made Troy’s stomach knot. He didn’t want to find him. He couldn’t prove anything, and the son of a bitch would never cop to pushing his wife down a flight of stairs. There was no point. It was yet one more bit of irony that the man who specialized in finding people, didn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t find the man who’d raised him. If there was one thing he’d learned as a P.I., it was getting answers to questions didn’t always lead a person to the results they wanted. And nothing could bring his mother back. Avoiding this town helped him forget the painful memories. In his head it was all a matter of logic.

Sometimes life just didn’t work out the way you imagined. Sometimes things couldn’t be answered in a few questions or wrapped up nicely.

“I want to find that SOB and...” Zach’s angry words trailed off as he shook his head. “I should’ve done more. Maybe if I’d known how much she cared about me all those years I would have.”

“It wouldn’t have changed the way you felt about Celia,” Troy reminded him.

Zach nodded. “You’re right. But I had a right to know about you.”

“That might’ve destroyed your relationship with Celia.” Troy hated pointing that out, but it was true. He’d remembered Celia being sad a lot of the time. Was that because she hadn’t been able to conceive?

“It would’ve changed things, yes,” Zach agreed, “but I don’t know about ‘destroyed.’ You know, Celia didn’t have a problem getting pregnant, she had a problem staying pregnant. By the sixth miscarriage, she couldn’t take it anymore. It was too much for her to hope then lose that hope.”

Troy swore softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know any of this.” For a P.I., he’d certainly missed the boat when it came to his own family.

“No reason you would. You were tiny. Just a boy. This stuff didn’t affect you. We purposely didn’t tell people because her chances of carrying full-term weren’t very good. It was easier to keep it to ourselves.” The sadness on Zach’s face spoke of a man who’d lived through emotional hell. But as Troy watched, Zach’s eyes took on a new look of hope.

“The day I discovered I had a son was just about one of the happiest days of my life. Even if you didn’t know, even if I never saw you again, I understood that the connection we shared when you were a boy stemmed from something in here.” Zach patted his chest. “I’ve always loved you, Troy. I’ve hoped and prayed that someday you’d come back so I had the chance to tell you. After so many years of wanting a son, I finally have one.” His grin stretched wide. “I gotta say, son. It feels real good to see you again.”

Troy had learned to keep a poker face from a very young age, but staring into the eyes of his uncle, no his
father
, cracked a line in the hard shell he’d wrapped around his heart and he let a half grin curve his lips. He glanced up in time to see Julie wiping her cheek quickly, her eyes brimming with tears. He swallowed back the emotion in his throat.

He had a chance to change his life. A chance to go from the loner he’d been to a man with a family. He had a father who loved him and wanted to know him, and he had a woman who filled his life with happiness. His relationship with Zach was bound to grow because Zach seemed to want the relationship as badly as he needed air to breathe. Maybe if Troy handled his confession the right way, he could keep Julie too.

* * *

Julie struggled to blink back the tears, but Troy saw how much this conversation with Zach affected her. The man wasn’t used to this kind of emotion. She read it in his stance. In the way he sat forward on the sofa like he might bolt at any minute. But he wouldn’t. Funny how she knew that about him. He was solid. Reliable. The kind of guy you could count on when things got rough. When bullets were literally flying.

So, no, she didn’t worry about him bolting from this particular conversation, but she worried how he’d react. Would he open himself up to the love his father—his
real
father—wanted to give or would he stay tucked in his tight circle of Troy? He may have let her in to an extent, but she still got the feeling he was holding something back. The man was smart enough to see how it bothered her when he didn’t open up, and she conceded that he had been trying. He kept things close to the chest. Was he afraid to get hurt? Afraid he’d be rejected the way his father had rejected him growing up with constant abuse?

More than ever the time seemed right to tell him her feelings. She wanted to believe that he’d return the emotions. That he cared about her as deeply as she cared about him.

Hours ticked by as Zach talked about the past, filling in gaps for Troy of the decades he’d been gone, talking about the town and the additions to the cabin. He clearly and desperately wanted a relationship with his son. Zach finally checked his watch. “Look,” he said, getting to his feet. “I didn’t mean to eat up your whole day. I’ve had a long time to get used to it, but it seems only fair that I give you some time.” He moved to the door. “I just wanted to talk to you, you know, after you read the diary. I think you deserved to have any questions answered.” He put his hand on the knob and turned back to Troy. “I’m hoping you’ll let me be part of your life from here on out. That’s all I ever wanted.” Zach opened the door. “I’ll give you a call tomorrow and maybe we can talk some more, do some more catching up.”