living covenant 03 - eternal covenant (26 page)

“You have a wonderful way with people,” Rafael said, exasperated. “If the castle is on line, that means she has to be somewhere with Internet access.”

“She’s probably at a hotel,” I said. “That would give her free wi-fi.”

Marian balked. “How did you know that?”

I lowered myself so I could look her straight in the eye. “Because I’m the … Zoe Monster. I know all and see all. Wait, Zoe Monster? I want a better name.”

“Well, there’s already Bloody Mary. You could be Sarcastic Zoe,” Kelsey suggested. “That sounds pretty horrifying.”

“Sarcastic Zoe it is,” Aric said, beaming. “Let’s get the witch back to the house and find the other two. This has already been a long day and it’s not over yet.”

“I think Sarcastic Zoe is frightening to us because we know you,” Rafael said, taking me by surprise as he participated in the game. “I think Zoe the Complainer, kind of a takeoff on Vlad the Impaler, has more of a ring to it.”

“I am so underappreciated it,” I complained. “Just … all of you can suck it!”

26

Twenty-Six

^“
Sit down and don’t do anything annoying,” I said, pointing toward a chair in the living room and waiting until Marian sat in it.

She shot me a dirty look. “I don’t bow down to evil.”

“Don’t make me pull your hair,” I threatened. “I’ll do it … and I’ll enjoy it.”

“What’s going on?” James asked, appearing in the doorway. Helen was behind him, her face white. “Is that one of the witches? Are the rest of them dead?”

“Two of them are dead,” I replied. “Two took off in the woods crying. Her name is … what’s her name again?”

“Ravenna of the fields,” Marian replied, defeated.

“Her real name,” I snapped.

“Stacy Patterson.”

“We need you to run her name and find her, Dad,” Aric said. “I don’t think she’s going to be a problem, but I want her taken into custody. She did almost kill us, after all.”

“Okay,” James said, his face unreadable. “What about the other witch?”

“She threw some smoke bomb at her feet and disappeared,” I said. “It was like being in Vegas, and by that I mean it was cheesy and annoying. She’s still out there. Her name is Leslie Snotgrass. We think she’s staying at an area hotel.”

“Snodgrass,” Aric corrected.

“I like Snotgrass better.”

“I don’t understand what’s going on,” James said, resting a hand on Kelsey’s shoulder. “Are you okay, dear? Did they mistreat you?”

“I really have to go to the bathroom,” Kelsey said. “They smacked me once, but that’s because I tried to tell them Zoe wasn’t evil.”

“They think I’m the Candyman,” I supplied.

“I don’t know what that means,” James said, exchanging a look with Dad. “Do you know what that means?”

Dad shook his head. “Other than the bad horror movie, I have no idea.”

“They think if they say Zoe’s name three times in a chatroom she’ll show up and murder them,” Paris supplied. “Zoe has become an urban legend. I think she should be proud. She’s less happy with the situation.”

“It blows,” I said. “I don’t want to be Candyman. I want to be cooler than that. Couldn’t you make up an urban legend about me having a hook for a hand or something? That would be more fun.”

Marian fidgeted on the chair. “We’re not making it up. It’s true.”

“Zoe, Zoe, Zoe,” Aric said, doing a little dance as he moved around me. “See, she’s not evil.”

The dance bugged me so I elbowed him in the stomach. “Knock it off.”

“I take it back,” Aric said, ruefully rubbing his stomach. “You are evil.”

“Wait until you see me in my wedding dress,” I said. “Then you’ll see evil. Wait, do I even have a wedding dress?” I was hopeful the magical attack delayed its arrival.

“It’s in your closet,” Pemberley supplied, looking Marian over. “My dear, you’re wearing way too much makeup. I’m sure in the Goth circles where you run that’s considered normal. It’s very unflattering, though.

“You have round cheeks,” he continued. “You should go with minimal makeup. Otherwise people might think you look … rotund.”

“He says that you look fat because of all that makeup,” I said. “I agree. You need to wash your face.”

“Can I throw a bucket of water on her when I get back?” Kelsey asked, edging toward the bathroom. “I think I’ve earned it.”

“No!” Anger was starting to replace fear for Marian. Good. I wanted her edgy.

“You can’t throw water on her,” I said. “It’s rude. Wait, you know what? Knock yourself out. I don’t care if you want to throw water on her.”

“That’s because you won’t clean it up,” Helen sniffed.

She had a point. “Okay, Marian, we need you to call Leslie of the Snotgrass and tell her we want a meeting,” I announced, clapping my hands. “We need to get this thing settled. Aric’s groomsmen arrive tonight and Kelsey and Paris want to hit on them without the threat of imminent death hanging over us.”

“Wait, I thought we were going to have a bachelor party?” James asked. He looked mildly disappointed.

Helen narrowed her eyes. “Why do you need a bachelor party? You’re not a bachelor.”

“Aric still is,” James pointed out. “I thought we would have one for him.”

“I don’t need a bachelor party,” Aric said. “I have Zoe. She can get naked. I’m fine with that.”

Helen reached up and cuffed her son lightly on the back of the head, sending him a dark look. “That’s enough of that.”

“Hey, it’s true,” Aric said. “I only want the witches gone and a quiet night with my girl. I’m not hard to please.”

“You can have a bachelor party,” I offered. “It’s your last chance to see someone else naked.”

“I don’t want to see anyone else naked,” Aric argued. “I only want you naked. It’s been a long freaking week.”

“That’s out of the question,” Helen said.

“Why?” Aric whined.

“Because it’s customary for the bride and groom to spend the night before their wedding apart,” Helen said. “That’s what you two will be doing.”

“Over my dead body,” Aric said. “I’m not going to be separated from Zoe tonight. Period.”

Helen turned her expectant eyes on me. “Oh, I’ll be using his dead body as a weapon to stab you,” I said. “I won’t be separated from him either.”

“The codependence here is flabbergasting,” Rafael said. “In my day, women and men refrained from sexual activity until they were married.”

“That’s because you’re an old lady,” I shot back. “Don’t rain on my parade.”

“Speaking of rain, are you going to end the storm?” Paris asked, pointing out the back window. “It’s really coming down.”

“Not yet,” I answered. “We’re probably going to need Rafael when we take down Leslie of the Snotgrass. I’ll end it after that.”

“You’re controlling the weather?” Marian asked. “How can you people think she’s not evil?”

“I’m only controlling the weather because you took my friend,” I answered. “It’s your fault I’m controlling the weather. You’re the ones who almost killed my fiancé and me. This is on you.”

“You should’ve died,” Marian huffed. “If you weren’t evil you would’ve died.”

“We didn’t die because Zoe protected us,” Aric replied. “She’s stronger than you. I wouldn’t piss her off. She might not be evil like you think, but she’s no pushover. Now, where can we find Leslie of the Snotgrass? Cripes, now you’ve got me saying it, too.”

“Welcome to the dark side, my friend,” I said, patting his back.

“She’s in her castle,” Marian said. “It’s hidden from the forces of evil. You’ll never find her.”

“She’s at the Ramada just off the highway,” Paris announced, glancing up from her laptop. “James showed me how to check hotel registrations a few weeks ago when we were looking for Mark.”

Marian openly gaped. “But … .”

“Okay, that’s something to go on,” I said. “I still need to know why Leslie of the Snotgrass is really after us. This Candyman story doesn’t hold water. There’s obviously something else going on.”

“You’re evil,” Marian said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Oh, yeah?” I would show her evil. I stalked into the kitchen and yanked open the drawer closest to the sink.

“What are you doing?” Paris asked.

I found the scissors I was looking for and turned back to the living room.

“Oh, you’re not going to stab her with those scissors, are you?” Paris asked.

“Not on this rug you’re not,” Helen said. “We don’t have time to get it cleaned before the wedding. If you’re going to stab her, take her outside.”

Marian was legitimately frightened now.

“I’m not going to stab her,” I answered. “I’m going to cut off her hair. All of it.”

Aric and Rafael broke into twin guffaws while James and Dad shook their heads.

“Is that really the best way to threaten her?” James asked. “Can’t you burn one of her fingers?”

“Over a plate so the ash doesn’t get everywhere,” Mom said, appearing at the edge of the room. I had no idea where she’d been hiding, but she was obviously up on current events.

“You can’t burn my finger,” Marian said. “I … need my fingers.”

“Yeah? Well I need Aric, and you almost took him from me,” I said. “I’m not burning your finger … yet. I’m starting with your hair.”

“Can’t you just burn that instead of cutting it?” Paris asked. “It’s going to take you forever to cut it.”

“Burnt hair smells gross,” I said.

“Yes, that’s the problem with this plan,” Rafael deadpanned.

“Don’t cut my hair!” Marian wailed. “I’ll tell you what you want to know, just don’t cut my hair.”

I puffed out my chest and shot a triumphant look in James’ direction. “And you doubted me.”

“You’re a lot of work, Zoe,” James said. “Thankfully, you’re my son’s problem and not mine.”

“Tell me about Leslie of the Snotgrass,” I ordered. “What’s her deal? Why is she after me?”

“She doesn’t care about you,” Marian challenged. “You’re simply a roadblock to what she really wants.”

“What does she really want?” Aric asked, exchanging a curious look with me.

“Her,” Marian said, pointing toward Paris.

“Me?” Paris’ face drained of color. “Why does she want me?”

“Wait a second, why wouldn’t she want me?” I asked. “I am winning and bright. I’m evil. She should definitely want to kill me.”

“Oh, my poor Zoe,” Aric said. “I want you. That should count for something.”

“It doesn’t,” I said. “I’m missing something here. Why would Leslie of the Snotgrass want Paris?” I risked a glance over my shoulder. “You didn’t start another coven when I wasn’t looking, did you? I’ll thump you this time.”

Paris made a face. “Of course I didn’t start another coven. I’m not an idiot.”

“You dated an old dude with murderous intentions,” I pointed out. “Sometimes I think you might be an idiot.”

“You’re a bitch sometimes,” Paris griped.

“Why does Leslie want Paris?” Rafael asked, his tone even. “What does she think Paris can get her?”

“And why grab Kelsey instead of Paris if Paris was the target all along?” Mom asked.

That was an excellent question.

“When we came into the house Kelsey was by the door. We knew we couldn’t fight all of you, so we were going to trade Kelsey for Paris,” Marian said. “We figured we would have the numbers in the woods and … the mage … would have no choice but to trade.”

“What good is trading one friend for another?” I asked.

Marian shrugged. “Leslie said it would work. She’s our leader.”

“You’re an idiot,” I said, flicking her ear and causing her to flinch. “What did Leslie hope to get from Paris?”

“The power to control the dead,” Marian answered, her face mournful. “We want to bring back the dead.”

“Like zombies? That’s worse than Candyman. You guys need to watch less television,” I said.

“That’s rich coming from you,” Aric said.

“Hey!”

“I’m just saying that we spent all of last summer trying to teach you how to fire a bow and arrow because Katniss could do it,” Aric reminded me.

“Oh, well, that’s neither here nor there,” I argued. “I’m very discerning when it comes to television and movies.”

“Yes, that’s why you made me watch that movie with the sharks in the underground mall,” Aric replied.

“That’s a great movie!”

Aric blew out a frustrated sigh. “Fine.”

I exhaled slowly to calm myself and refocused on Marian. “Why do you want to create zombies? And why would you think Paris could help you?”

“We don’t want to create zombies,” Marian sputtered. “Are you crazy?”

“I’ve been labeled that a time or two,” I conceded.

“We want to be able to bring back dead loved ones,” Marian supplied. “I lost my father, and Leslie wants her mother back.”

“How can Paris help you do that?” Rafael asked.

“Because she has the resurrection stone,” Marian answered.

“Oh,” Paris and I said in unison, things clicking into place.

“What’s the resurrection stone?” Helen asked, confused.

“It’s an old Greek talisman rumored to bring back the dead,” Rafael answered. “It was also rumored to be able to control vampires. Sam Blake wanted it at Covenant College. In fact, he thought he had it, and ordered me to commit a murder.”

“Did you?” Helen asked.

Rafael shook his head. “We had the stone at one time,” he replied. “Well, to be more precise, Zoe and Paris had the stone. They destroyed it, though.”

“What?” Marian’s face fell. “But … why?”

“Because I don’t want a weapon out there that can hurt or destroy my friends,” I answered. “The stone has been gone for like … seven years now.”

“But … we need it,” Marian said, her eyes brimming with tears.

“The sad thing is you thought it was okay to kill others to get it,” I said, shaking my head before turning to take on the rest of the room. “Okay, new plan. I know exactly how to handle this. The wedding is going to be saved, and we’ll have a party here with everyone tonight to celebrate. No random nudity.”

“Well, there went my big night,” Aric deadpanned.

“You’re such a pig sometimes,” Helen said, cuffing her son again. “You get that from your father.”

“I can’t wait to see how this all plays out,” Rafael said. “I sense drama.”