Living Again (69 page)

After parking, the family of five headed into Park View Elementary School. The place was mobbed with parents and kids, and as they walked towards the doors, Alexis stopped, her eyes wide.

“You okay?” Kayley said, stopping the stroller that held Benji and Cierra. Alexis turned to her, blinking and looking shell shocked.

“There’s a lot of people here,” she breathed. She was uneasy and nervous, even through her excitement.

Ben reached out and took her hand. “Come on, sweetie. Let’s go find Miss Smith’s room. It will be okay, I promise.”

Taking his word for it, Alexis walked hand in hand with her Daddy into the building, Kayley right behind with the stroller. As they reached her classroom, she got more excited. After finding her name on the door, she walked in purposefully. Kayley laughed, knowing it was only a matter of time before the real Alexis came back out.

Miss Smith was a young, cute teacher, and she had a gaggle of kids already surrounding her, their parents hovering nervously nearby. As she spotted Alexis, she invited the other boys and girls to say hello to her. Alexis, finding her nametag and dropping her book bag on her chair, turned around and gave her megawatt smile.

“I’m Alexis,” she announced confidently. “This is my Mommy and my Daddy. I have another Daddy in Heaven. This is my brother Benji—say hi Benji. Thank you. And this is my baby sister, Cierra. She was just born. Isn’t she so cute?” The other kids crowded around her, her personality attracting them like moths to a flame.

Kayley met Ben’s eyes and shook her head, laughter bubbling up inside her. This kid was something else. Miss Smith walked up to them, an amused smile on her face.

“Good morning,” she said. “I’m Miss Smith. She’s just adorable.”

They laughed, and Kayley stuck out her hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kayley, and this is my husband, Ben.”

“He’s a doctor,” Alexis announced as Miss Smith shook his hand. “He helps kids.”

Laughing, Ben ruffled her hair gently. “As you will find out, this one here will tell you anything and everything you want to know, and probably plenty you don’t. But she has the kindest heart, always wanting to help others.”

Miss Smith smiled at Alexis. “Well, I think you will be a great helper around here. And maybe someday your daddy can come in and talk to the kids about being a doctor. Would you like that?”

Alexis nodded her head enthusiastically. “Yes, thank you. My daddy is very smart.”

“I think you have yourself a daddy’s girl here,” Miss Smith teased. Kayley and Ben laughed, agreeing that in fact she was a daddy’s girl. Kayley guessed she could’ve said something slightly more embarrassing, like telling her that her daddy was yummy or something.

After making sure that Alexis understood how she was going to get out of school that afternoon and reassuring her that Miss Smith would get her to Kayley, they left Alexis in her classroom, happily talking to the other kids. She had clung on to Kayley just a little bit longer than she thought she would’ve, but there had been no tears. She had kissed Benji, telling him to be a good boy at home today, and she would play superheroes with him when she got home. Then, she had kissed Cierra’s face until she started to cry, then calmed her with her voice.

Kayley and Ben walked out, hand in hand, to the parking lot. Kayley was quiet, and Ben knew that she was trying to hold it together. Having a baby two weeks ago, plus now sending Alexis to school, he knew she must be emotionally fragile.

Stopping at their minivan, he put his hand on her back, feeling the tremors of her holding in tears. “Kay,” was all he needed to say, and she turned, burying her face in his chest as tears wracked her body. “Shhh, it’s okay, baby. It’s okay.” He rubbed her back as she cried into his chest. Benji watched them from the stroller but didn’t say anything. He was a lot quieter than Alexis, usually taking things in before speaking.

“Sh-she’s so big,” Kayley cried. “My baby i-is in school. H-how did this happen?”

Ben lifted her face so she was looking at him. “She’s a wonderful kid, Kayley. She’s smart and kind. She’s going to love school. I understand how you feel. She’s growing up too fast. It just seems like yesterday she was that little toddler that loved her stuffed monkey and called me Daddy Ben. Now she’s a big girl. But, she will always be our baby. And look,” Ben indicated the stroller. “Now we have these two rascals, too. I’m always here for you, Kay. You know that, right?”

She nodded, sniffling as she tried to contain any further tears. “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “You’re probably sick and tired of my emotional state these days.” She laughed, shaking her head at herself. She had been an emotional rollercoaster since Cierra had been born.

Ben kissed her softly, and her body responded, desire curling in her belly. “I’ll never be tired of you. Ever. I understand, remember? You just had a baby. That in itself is a major reason to be emotional. You aren’t getting enough sleep and your body is still trying to readjust. Then, your firstborn starting school? That’s just icing on the emotional cake, baby. I want you to tell me if you need help, Kay. You aren’t superwoman.”

She nodded, knowing he was right. “I’m tired, but I think I’m okay. Now, enough with my emotional self. I need to get these kids home and get my day started. Whatever will I do without my little assistant?”

Ben laughed. “You may find things are quite peaceful around there! Have a great day, baby. I love you. Call me when you pick up Alexis this afternoon? I want to hear all about her day. I should be home around six.”

Kayley nodded, opening the van door to put Benji and Cierra in. Kissing Benji, then Cierra, he then walked to his own car to go to work. He still owned that hot black sports car, even though they had three kids now. Kayley liked it because it reminded her of when they first got together.

He spoiled her rotten, still. He would send her flowers, just because he was thinking of her. He would set up date nights where the kids were at one of their parents and he would set out candles and cook dinner, and they would make love wherever and whenever they wanted. He got her gifts on the kids’ birthdays, usually jewelry. She thought she might own part of the Tiffany store at this point. She loved every single part of their life.

When Benji was born two years ago, she had decided to stay home as a full time mom. With Alexis, she hadn’t had that option, but it had always been her dream. She figured, her career would be there later, when her kids were all in school. For now, being with them was important to her. With Ben’s job, she had the option of staying home, so she did. She loved every moment she got with Benji that she hadn’t gotten with Alexis. Alexis had gotten her for the last two years full time as well, since Kayley had opted for only part time preschool when she was four.

After Benji was born and they were a family of four, Ben had decided that working at the hospital wasn’t for him anymore. He saw an opportunity to get into a group of pediatricians that were very prominent in the area, so he took it. He worked only weekdays, taking on call nights only a few times a week, and was usually home about six for dinner. It had been a lucrative move for him, because after only one year, they had offered to make him a part owner in the practice. He loved his patients, and he was a highly sought after pediatrician with an extensive waiting list. He got to know his patients personally, and they loved him for it. She and Ben actually had a vision that when their kids were all in school, they wanted to open a kid’s therapy center attached to his practice, and Kayley would head that up, hiring all the therapists and working there if she chose to.

Kayley was so proud of him, and not just for being a world class doctor. She was proud that their family meant so much to him that he chose to be home every night, tucking their kids into bed and spending time with her. No matter how much success he achieved, still all he wanted to do was come home to them. She didn’t know if they would have any more children or not—that would be decided after she got past the not sleeping part of having a newborn. She did know, however, that she loved having children with him, and their house was plenty big enough for more.

Emily and Trevor still had just two, Cate, who was now 7 and going into second grade, and Calleigh, who was three. They still spent a lot of time with Emily and Trevor, Trevor having become one of Ben’s best friends. Rachel was still Rachel, but she had recently met someone, though she was being hush hush about him and Kayley hadn’t met him. She was still working at the therapy center, and she and Kayley still tried to hang out frequently even though Kayley didn’t work there anymore.

Lindsay and Paul had another baby a year ago, finally a little boy they named Lucas. His big sisters were over the moon for him, just like Alexis was with her baby brother and now sister.

Over the last three years since they got married, she had kept in contact with Alex’s sister and brother, though they had both moved in that time. Amber was now married and part of a successful law group, living in North Carolina. Adam lived in Georgia, about an hour from his parents, and worked at a big Atlanta hospital as a neurologist. He was engaged to be married.

Ben’s best friend Cam and his wife Kellie had recently added to their family as well. Big brother Kasen, who was three, welcomed his little sister, Kassandra, a few weeks before Kayley and Ben had Cierra. They were thrilled that their girls would grow up together, and Kasen and Benji were the best of buds.

Looking longingly out her window at Alexis’ brick school building, she felt like she just left part of her heart there. Well, in a sense, she did. For the first year of her life, it had just been them, two parts of the same whole. For that reason, Kayley felt that the two of them would always have a special bond beyond the bond of a mother and a daughter. They had been each other’s lifeline, even though Alexis had no recollection of that time, nor why it had been so sad. Now that she was older, she did know and understand that Alex had been her daddy, and he had gone to heaven because of a terrible accident before she was born. True to his word, Ben always reminded Alexis that he was borrowing her from her Daddy in Heaven. To Alexis, she was Daddy’s little girl, and the rest didn’t matter. But Kayley knew that it mattered to Ben. He was a man of the upmost integrity, and he would make sure that Alexis was never kept in the dark about her past. She smiled as she remembered their conversation, just a few months ago, to try to explain it to Alexis better. She had known her whole life that she had another daddy, but Ben sat her down one day to try to explain what had happened. She remembered as Alexis processed the words that she looked at Ben, so innocent and sweet and said, ‘So did that happen to Benji, too? And Mommy’s baby?’ Ben had gently told her no, that he was their only daddy, but that she was special and had two. She had seemed to like that explanation, and had gone on her way to go play with her dolls.

She couldn’t believe how far she had come in the last five years. If someone had told her, way back when she married Alex, that this would be the course of her life, she would’ve never believed them. She had definitely found out that life threw you curveballs, and sometimes really terrible things happened to great people. But, she was married to the man that she couldn’t breathe without, who treated her like an absolute queen. They had three wonderful children and a life that made her want to pinch herself daily. She thought back to the vow she had made herself over five years ago, that she wasn’t going to love again.

What I would’ve missed out on
, she thought, looking in the mirror to the backseat, where Cierra slept soundly and Benji sucked his pacifier, content. Ben was the reason that she was even here. Sure, she would’ve probably eventually pulled herself together and moved on. But would she have ever had this life she had now, if Ben hadn’t pushed her into realizing they were worth it? She fingered the necklace that she still wore daily, the teardrop topaz that Ben gave her, to remind her that he wouldn’t hurt her ever again. And he hadn’t. While they had their share of petty arguments, like any couple, they both knew that the love they shared was too precious to taint by that much pain ever again.

Feeling her phone vibrate, she looked down at her lap. It was a text from Ben, who had probably just arrived at his office and was preparing for a busy day.
Go home, Kay. She’s going to be fine. I love you
. Kayley laughed out loud. He knew her so well. Benji took out his pacifier and smiled at her in response to her laugh.

“I love you, baby boy,” she reached behind her and caressed his foot, the only thing she could reach. Satisfied, he stuck it back in his mouth and relaxed against his seat.

Pulling out of the school with a sad glance in her rearview mirror, she left Alexis at her first day of school and headed home. She had done it. She had overcome her past and in return gotten the most rewarding life she could’ve ever imagined. Ben had made her live again, made her want to spend her life living for him and their family.