Liverpool Taffy (38 page)

‘She’s just at that stage in her development when the grass on the other side is always greener,’ Stuart agreed. ‘And you’re right, sweetheart, I do think there’ll be a war in the not-too-distant future. Even so, though, Lizzie may agree to further education, if that’s still on the cards of course. She’s a determined young lady, so she may easily stick to her guns over this.’

And then Dai turned up.

Nellie was alone in the house because Stuart had gone off to a meeting in Edinburgh – he might have decided not to take the job in Scotland but he was extremely interested in the magazine’s birth-pangs – and Elizabeth and Biddy had gone into the city, to the Central Libraries on William Brown Street, where they would visit the Picton Reading Room and then go into the Lending Library where Elizabeth hoped to borrow books to help her with one of her subjects.

Biddy had gone along partly to borrow some books on her own account, though she also intended to visit her friend Ellen. Since it was her half-day it seemed a good opportunity to see Ellen since she would be in the city anyway, and could come home later, at her own pace.

‘I’ll go with Elizabeth to the library, then put her on the tram for home and catch another to Ellen’s place,’ she had said to Mrs Gallagher earlier in the day. ‘We’re going to have a snack at lunchtime – the Queensway Café, on London Road, is awfully good – and I’ll have my tea with Ellen. I’ll be home before the last tram, but I do love an afternoon with Ellen and little Bobby.’

So here was Nellie, standing in the kitchen making her Christmas cakes, although it was only September, and singing, rather appropriately, the song which came continually over the wireless these days, ‘September in the Rain.’ Some people might consider it too early to start Christmas cooking, but Nellie always made a great many rich fruit-cakes for her various charitable organisations and liked to do them in good time so that they could mature. So she was working away and singing lustily when someone knocked on the front door.

Nellie rinsed her hands hastily and ran across the kitchen and into the hall. The front door had a stained glass panel, all rich reds, glowing golds, jewel-like greens, and through it Nellie could see the outline of someone standing on the step. It looked like a young man, which meant one of Elizabeth’s friends, Nellie thought rather despairingly, crossing the hallway at a trot. She remembered how shy she had been with young men when she was sixteen, but her daughter was completely at ease in any company and seemed to enjoy flirting with a number of rather nice young men. And she was so pretty, with that rich, golden-brown hair arranged at the moment in the popular Juliet pageboy, the clear blue eyes, the frank and easy manner which, Nellie privately thought, was the most attractive thing about her child. So undoubtedly it would be a young man wanting Lizzie, and Lizzie was far away and the onus of entertainment would be on Nellie, who wanted to continue to cook her Christmas cakes, sing her favourite songs and dream into the fire.

She opened the front door, however, with a rather guarded welcoming smile on her lips … which changed to delight when she saw who stood on the step.

‘Dai! Oh my dear boy, how absolutely wonderful to see you! It’s been such a long time … come in, come in! I’m cooking in the kitchen since everyone else is out so you can come and watch me weighing tons of dried fruit, sugar, syrup, flour … and all the other good things which go into Christmas cakes.’ She ushered him through into the kitchen, seized his ditty bag from him and slung it over the hook on the back of the door. ‘Sit down, I’ll make you a cup of tea … shan’t be a moment.’

She filled the kettle, carried it over to the sink, took it back and put it on top of the stove. Then she turned to Dai. ‘Well, your room’s always ready for you, so that’s no problem. How long can you stay, my dear boy?’

Dai smiled. He had taken off his navy jacket and now he sat there in his shirtsleeves looking calmly and contentedly about him, and when the kettle began to sing he told Nellie to get on with her cooking, he was a prince amongst tea-makers and would make her a cup in a trice.

‘Well, I would like to get on,’ Nellie admitted, cracking a dozen eggs into a jug, whisking them with a fork and then pouring them into her great yellow cooking bowl. ‘And what brings you rushing over to see us, dear Dai, when I thought you wouldn’t be back again until Christmas?’

Dai was making the tea, pouring water from the kettle onto the leaves he had just spooned into the big brown pot. Without looking round he said, in a slow, measured tone, ‘Dear Nellie, I’m sure you must have guessed that I’m deeply in love with your girl.… I’ve brought her a ring and I’m going to ask her to be my wife. I know you’ll say it’s too soon, she’s too young, but an uncertain world it is these days, with so many bad things happening. Felt I had to speak, see?’

Nellie dropped her spoon. A terrible, desolate unhappiness filled her and a deep sense of dread. This? She had dreaded that something bad would come of her behaviour with Dai’s father all those years ago, but this went beyond her wildest nightmares! But she forced herself to think, to act calmly.

‘Dai, my dear … she’s too young! You both are, you’ve your lives before you … you mustn’t jump into things, you must consider!’

Her adored daughter, her beautiful Elizabeth, she could not blame the boy for falling in love with her, she had noticed a certain fondness creeping into their relationship, but this!

‘I know she’s young, Nellie, and I’m prepared to wait, believe me. But I’ve saved up and bought this pretty little ring …’ he was holding it out, smiling down at it, ‘… and I thought she could wear it on a chain round her neck if you feel she’s too young for a formal engagement. It – it would give me such pleasure to know she wore my ring.’

A part of Nellie’s mind acknowledged that Dai’s logic was the sensible logic of a nice young man deeply in love, but another part could only scream a silent protest – she’s too young, she’s my baby, my little girl … and you were my baby once, my little boy – Dai, darling, you and Elizabeth are brother and sister!

But she could not say it. Instead, she took a deep breath and prepared to prevaricate. ‘I see. I’m trying very hard to understand and sympathise, Dai, but it’s been such a shock to me.’

‘A shock?’ He brought two cups of tea over to the table and sat down opposite her, pushing one of the cups across. ‘I made sure Stuart would have told you – what a great gun he is, Nellie, to keep it to himself! The truth is, he caught us kissing one evening and guessed how it was with us and advised me to wait. Which I have done … only I long to give her a sign, I do … very dear to me she is.’

Stuart knew, and had not told her! But of course he must have thought it was just puppy love and would be outgrown by both parties. And if it turned out to be true love, then why should Stuart object? Elizabeth was far too young, even Dai acknowledged that, but he did not mean to marry her for some time, he had made that clear. And if it had not been for the fact that they were brother and sister, Nellie realised, nothing would have given her greater pleasure than to welcome Dai officially into her family.

Oh, but she must stop it now, before it grew truly serious! She must put her foot down, tell him it was impossible – but she could not tell him why it was impossible, that was the rub!

‘Dai darling, will you listen to me? Will you promise me not to take it any further until Christmas? Only till then … it’s not much to ask. I’m sure you won’t regret it. Stu thinks there’ll be war … I’m in such a worry … if you’ll just leave it lie for now …’

‘We-ell … Nellie, is there someone else? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? I’d rather have the truth, know where I stood.’

His face was pale, his dark eyes anxious. Nellie frowned across at him, biting the tip of her index finger. This would need careful handling; if he stayed and saw Elizabeth he would realise at once that she was still fancy free. Elizabeth was transparent, now that she thought about it she should have guessed – the way she looked at Dai, hung on his arm, begged him to take her to the park, skating in winter, playing tennis in summer. But Dai was still looking at her with that lost, vulnerable look … oh, how could she bear it? On the other hand if she lied to him, told him that Elizabeth had met someone else … but if it meant she would not have to break it to him that he and the girl he loved were brother and sister …

Nellie took a deep breath. ‘Dai, there might be. She’s very young, but there’s someone whom I begin to believe she really does like … a little more than she realises herself as yet, perhaps. Just wait until Christmas, and then … Dai! Wait! What on earth are you doing?’

But he had gone. He had snatched his coat from the peg, his ditty bag from the floor, and left. Without a word of goodbye, without a smile. She ran to the kitchen door; the garden was narrow but long, he could not have reached the end of it yet …

The garden ended in a high wall in which was set a small green door. The door was still swinging, but although she ran down the garden and into the jigger at the back there was no sign of him. Dai Evans had completely disappeared.

Nellie returned to the kitchen and began listlessly pouring ingredients into the scale pan and from there to her yellow mixing bowl, but her heart was no longer in it and her song had died on her lips. She had hurt him so! But she had had no choice, she could not let him continue to love Elizabeth, to break all their hearts.

If only he had not gone so abruptly; if only he had waited until Stuart … no, that would not have done, Stuart, in this instance at least, could not be relied upon to help her.

But the danger was over, at least for the time being. She had done a terrible thing, had hurt Dai to the heart. She acknowledged, now, that his affection for her daughter had been deeper and more profound than she could have possibly guessed. What else could I have done, though, she pondered, moving miserably round the kitchen, tossing ingredients into the bowl almost at random. How else could I have behaved? I had no choice, I had to drive him away, say something which would ensure that he never came back.

When she was putting the first cake into the oven, however, it occurred to her that she had not done it, not altogether. Dai would come back, any young man would. He would go now, bitterly hurt, and nurse his wounds for a bit, and then he would begin to think. He had not seen his love, nor heard from her own lips that she preferred another. He would be back, and next time he would not be so easily put off. Next time he would sit himself down at the kitchen table, smile at her coolly and a little grimly, and wait until he could see Elizabeth for himself. That tiny gold engagement ring with the little chip of a gemstone at its heart … her own heart ached at the thought of it. He really did love Elizabeth, he would have to see her if only once!

Nellie sat down with a thump at the kitchen table and put her head in her hands and prayed. There must be a way out, dear Lord, there must be some way of keeping them apart until they were older and had forgotten this first, early, attachment. He’s a good young man, Dear Lord, and I love him, but their marriage would be an affront to Your church, it would be against nature! Please Mary, Holy Mother, look down on me in my fear and confusion and show me a way out, she prayed, squeezing her lids so tightly shut that whirling patterns formed in her head. Please, dear God, help me to help them!

And presently, as though the Holy Mother had pitied the little earthly mother so desperate not to hurt either of her children, Nellie saw the way.

When Stuart got back from his meeting very late that night he was met by a pale but determined wife who pounced on him the moment she heard his key in the door. ‘Stuart, darling, I’ve been thinking. I want to go to Edinburgh; I think you should take the job they offered you. It’s safer than Liverpool … but it’s not just that, I think it would be best.’

She would say very little more, but was pale and distraught, making him a late-night snack, heating milk, adding a tot of rum so generous that he accused her, laughing, of trying to get him plastered.

‘No indeed, you must have a clear head, but Stu, darling, you would like to take the job, wouldn’t you?’

‘Ye-es, but I’d quite made up my mind that it wasn’t fair on you and Lizzie, I thought we’d agreed that …’

‘Well, I’ve changed my mind. It would be very good for us, nothing could be better. We need a change, we’ve been here too long, I’m getting set in my ways.…
Besides, we could see Lilac and the children quite as easily in Edinburgh as here and a change would be good for us. And dear Lizzie will talk with a Liverpool accent and I’d like to break her of the habit before she starts university, if she really means to start, that is. And … and if war does come, perhaps we would all be safer up in Edinburgh, further from bombs and dangers?’

‘Have you asked Liz what she thinks? Darling, she won’t want to go, all her friends are here, and I respect her feelings. But of course the job is rather important so your surprising offer is tempting, very tempting. It’s not as if it’s for ever, either, we needn’t even sell this house, we could let it, because it would be a two-year spell in Edinburgh, that’s all, just to set the thing up, get it run ning.… As for war, it’ll come, but there’s no point in worrying about it until it happens. Chamberlain’s suing for peace; who knows? He may succeed in defusing the situation.’

‘Then you’ll do it? Take the job, move away? Oh Stu, darling, thank you so much! There is a reason why I think it will be best to go but I can’t explain, not just yet. It’s nothing awful, truly, but it’s better that we go. When can we leave?’

Stuart looked down at her. She was pink-cheeked now, her eyes sparkling. Good thing I trust her, he thought wryly, giving her a hug. Because if I didn’t I’d suspect that she was trying to get me out of the way and hiding some dark secret from me – a lover or something. But since I do trust her I guess it’s some tiny little thing … probably one of the boys Elizabeth keeps turning up with has looked too long and lovingly at her darling, that would be enough to make her take fright. But it will probably come tumbling out presently, and prove to be some tiny, unimportant thing. Darling Nell!