Little Wolf (56 page)

Robin’s Egg made a doubtful sound.

Tim looked up again. “No, he doesn’t,” he agreed. “But he should. I told him I wasn’t any good at this. He doesn’t want to give up, but I am a lost cause. I warned him this would happen, and he wanted to
date
me.”

“You’re getting warmer at least.” Robin’s Egg shook her head, as if that was all she had to say on that subject.

Tim attacked the problem from a different angle. “If he doesn’t hate me, then what? I hurt him.” He moaned with such honest, disgusting misery that out of the corner of his eyes he saw Albert glance toward him. Tim’s entire childhood had been spent learning to respect the dignity of the Dirus name, and now he was making a scene over his boyfriend—ex-boyfriend, probably.

His throat was thick no matter how many times he swallowed. “It felt right, being his… he doesn’t like it when I say bitch. He could be right about that. Nathaniel’s so powerful it makes me feel powerful to take him like that. Oh, I—” Tim stopped, then remembered he was talking to a fairy. Robin’s Egg nodded along calmly, and Tim spent a perplexing moment imagining Cosmo in bed and just… that was not something he needed in his life right now.

“You don’t feel powerful the rest of the time?” That was the only thing about Tim’s revealing statement that seemed to bother Robin’s Egg.

“Should I?” Tim would have gestured at himself, but Robin’s Egg already knew he was tiny. She still expected an answer. “I felt powerful marking him. And when he kissed me and when I asked him to—” Fairy audience or not, Tim cut himself off there. “Whenever I get near him. I mean, it’s not like I am totally useless when he isn’t around. I took care of myself on my own for years, and not even when he tries does he beat me at chess… every time. But Nathaniel looks at me like….” Like Tim was perfect. No, like he thought Tim was perfect for him. “Like he only sees good things when he sees me.” It made no sense, but there it was, making Tim’s heart pound. “I was trained on how to run a corporation. I’ve studied battles. But I could win wars with the way Nathaniel makes me feel.”

He rubbed his nose and frowned vaguely in Albert’s direction, since Albert and now the tourist had both stopped talking and were probably listening to him. They didn’t have the answers he needed, though. “Do you think I could make him feel the same way?” he asked Robin’s Egg seriously. “Do you think I should try? No wait, fuck that. He’s amazing. He already feels that way all the time.”

“If he doesn’t, I’m sure you could manage it.” Robin’s Egg patted her beehive. “I’m sure if you thought real hard, the solution would come to you.” Her voice was so level Tim almost missed the sarcasm.

“What, like I should chase after him like a human in one of his favorite movies and tell him he’s right, and we should face down my uncle together?” Tim sighed and sank down as he realized exactly what he was saying. He shook his head. “If… if Nathaniel got hurt, what would you guys do? I don’t know why he isn’t thinking of that. It’s not like him to be so selfish.”

“Even if he’s lonely?” Robin’s Egg crossed over to stand directly in front of Tim, forcing Tim to lift his head.

“How could he ever be lonely?” The question was natural, even if Tim immediately growled to think of all the people who would chase after Nathaniel if Tim left town.

Robin’s Egg tugged at her apron. “You can be lonely even when surrounded by people if not a single one of them understands you.”

Tim gave another growl that definitely got attention from the others in the café. “They think of him as their fantasy. He’s so much more than that. He’s more than even my uncle’s ideal werewolf.” He released a puffing breath at Robin’s Egg’s inquiring look. “My uncle, er, is kind of famous. My whole family is kind of famous. Mostly for being scary assholes who ride roughshod over anyone in their way. He, um, you might say he has ideas about things.” Robin’s Egg’s multicolored eyes went wide. “But Nathaniel impressed him.” Tim laid it out, although she might already know the story of what had happened when Silas Dirus had come into town. “That’s no small thing. Nathaniel challenged him, and my uncle gave him a challenge in return, and Nathaniel rose to it.”

“And you don’t think he could do it again? Especially if his motivation was great?” Even without knowing the details, Robin’s Egg’s faith in Nathaniel was absolute. She gave Tim a tiny, displeased frown and resettled her wings.

Tim blinked at her. “What’s greater than the town?” Her stare at the question had him squirming and flushing hot. “Oh my God.” Tim slid off the stool and sagged against the counter. “Oh my God. He’s being selfish about
me
?” He squeaked and didn’t care. Nathaniel had told Tim he kept everything between them private, that Tim was his and his alone. He’d showed Tim off to the world, but he’d kept everything else between the two of them. “He works day and night for this town. And he thinks I’m worth more than that?
Me
? But I’m not, and I told him so. For all that my uncle talked about were traditions, this town lives them. The town is obviously more important than me.”

Robin’s Egg’s expression said she thought Tim was an idiot, but her talcum powder softness was gentler than that. “And you wonder why he was smiling?” Her scent was as full and colorful as a peacock’s display. Tim labeled the scent
pride
without a second thought.

Nathaniel had radiated that too, even when he’d smelled like pain.

Tim shut his eyes to whine. “I want him back. I honestly don’t give a fuck if it’s instinct. But….” He reopened his eyes. “I hurt him.”

“Big hunk like him?” Robin’s Egg tutted. “He’ll live… if you fix this soon.”

She had to be adding drama to the moment. Of course Nathaniel wasn’t going to die without Tim. But Tim narrowed his eyes. “By what? Letting him throw himself in front of the metaphorical bus heading my way?”

Robin’s Egg scoffed. “Littlewolf, I think
that
were could take a bus.”

Nathaniel probably could. He’d survived a car crash, after all—well, with intervention—though Tim was in no mood to see that episode repeated. But her wording was familiar enough to give him pause.

“What if Nathaniel more than gets hurt?” For a second Tim was annoyed that Carl was gone. Carl would have given him the same truth but with a bluntness Tim would have appreciated. Carl didn’t suffer fools. Tim wasn’t deserving of Robin’s Egg’s kindness.

She spoke lightly but pointedly. “The town survived for over a century without either of you.” Which was probably what Carl would have said. But Carl wouldn’t have put his hands on his hips and tapped his foot on the ground. “How much is this concern about the town, and how much is for the sheriff?”

Tim wrinkled his nose and looked beyond her to the view out the window, still empty of Nathaniel. “Don’t make me run the numbers, but, I never… I never should have let him get away like that.”

“A good were like that is—”

Tim cut her off. “Yes, but what I mean is yesterday when we weren’t… when I wasn’t learning how to suck dick, we discussed this. There was a chessboard. Look… there are so many ways this could happen, and it will happen. I’ve been trying to pretend it won’t, but my uncle is close, if not here already. And we thought about how they might try to separate us. Nathaniel is a big obstacle for anyone looking to take me, so they’d want him out of the way. I thought they might create a diversion, send him out on a call he has to go to personally, or start a fire, something that would draw the entire department away. I never thought
I
would separate us for them. I’m such a dumbass.”

“Huh?” Robin’s Egg was lost. Tim forced himself to stand and spared a moment to glance at Robin’s Egg.

“Can I leave early?” He didn’t wait for an answer before he moved out from behind the display case. Albert was there to finish the shift. Anyway, they weren’t going to get any customers with Tim there scowling at everyone. “I have to, uh, find him. The separation is dangerous, but really….” Stopping to explain really sucked. Tim could see now why fairies rarely bothered. “I need to see him.”

Of course, Nathaniel could be anywhere. Back at the station or out on a call. He could be at the cabin or running through the woods as a wolf like he’d done before when Tim had… when Tim had hurt him the last time.

Tim hurried to the door, barely remembering his promise to never let himself be alone. He wouldn’t be alone when he found Nathaniel. Nathaniel was probably at the station, so Tim would stop there first. If Nathaniel wasn’t there, then Tim would find him. Tim had done it before without trying. He still didn’t understand why, but he could find Nathaniel’s scent anywhere now, through anything, even if the gift shop had been packed.

He opened the door and lifted his head to draw in a deep breath, trying to find fresh air and pine smoke and heat. He smelled gravy and perfume and human sweat, like the first time he’d come here. He could smell the street too, competing restaurants and car exhaust, but Nathaniel was what he wanted in his lungs. He inhaled sweet evening air and turned his head to follow a trail of familiar scent.

Male-scent, older, and scrubbed up clean. Cleaner than he was expecting, almost self-consciously clean. Tim had never noticed that before in all the times he’d had that smell in his system. Being around werewolves comfortable in their skins, with all their particular odors, had made Tim forget some people tried to scrub away what scent revealed.

Human soap with its colognes and harsh detergents overlaid that older, insecure scent, haunting in how the details had been washed away. At this distance there was only the silhouette.

Tim had never thought of it as hiding, but that’s what it was. The fine print could only be read up close—heat from sparring, and want, and hunger that no soap could disguise.

Nathaniel wouldn’t need to deceive, and he sure as hell wouldn’t disguise anything. He could control what he wanted and wasn’t ashamed of anything he felt.

Tim opened his eyes and backed up into the doorjamb.

Across the café, chatting pleasantly with Albert, was Luca.

L
UCA
WASN
’
T
looking at Tim, but he didn’t have to. He knew exactly where Tim was, just as he knew Tim was alone. Nathaniel would not be rushing in here to save him. Tim had made certain of that. Luca might even have watched him do it.

The shudder at the thought was involuntary. Luca wouldn’t have been surprised to see Tim fuck up. Tim was a small pathetic little nothing with a great name. His trembling hands fell away from the door, which closed with the faintest ring of the bell.

Luca turned toward him at the sound.

He’d seen everything; Tim could tell from his smile. Every sly grin, every knowing leer from Tim’s teenage years came back to him with vivid clarity. Luca was calm, as if he knew as well as Tim did that no one was going to stop him.

He used to look like that before too, when Silas had been gone from the house and Luca had found Tim outside his restricted areas.

A fearful noise slipped from Tim’s tight throat, and Albert turned to him too, but Tim couldn’t take his eyes off Luca.

Luca rose to his feet and spent a moment tugging at his sleeves. It drew attention to the sleek black lines of his suit, the crisp white of his shirt underneath, the gold of his cuff links.

He wasn’t wearing a tie. He never had. It was the one style element he’d never copied from Silas. Like Nathaniel, Luca left his shirt unbuttoned at the throat, revealing a patch of skin and hair that Tim, at thirteen, had obsessed over.

Luca had been thinner then, although Tim had thought he was huge. Far, far too late, Tim realized Luca was young. He was maybe twenty-six, which meant he’d been a barely filled-out boy of eighteen or nineteen when Tim had left. Luca was broader now, taller despite how Tim had grown. When Albert straightened up, Luca had height and weight on him. They were standing too close, Tim noticed, but he couldn’t seem to do anything about it. He couldn’t look at Robin’s Egg either, but she slowly twisted around to follow his gaze.

Luca’s almond eyes flicked to her before coming back to Tim. He pulled at his sleeves again, adjusting the fit of his suit in a practiced motion, and considered Tim in his T-shirt and flannel, Tim in his sneakers, Tim with the mark fading from his neck.

Tim was still small, still pale. He might even be paler now, blanched white with fear. The mark, what was left of it, would stand out. If Luca had been in town for a while, he wouldn’t need the visual confirmation that Nathaniel was having sex with Tim, but Tim covered it with his hand anyway.

He’d felt so good when Nathaniel had given it to him forever ago, but it was nearly gone. The fact that it might end up being the last one Nathaniel ever gave him made him swallow and force himself to speak.

“Luca.” Tim should stare him down. But his weak legs seemed to only want to take him backward. The rest of him was frozen.

“Little Timmy.” Luca greeted him in return, the low register of his voice shivering down Tim’s spine. He’d last heard that voice in his ear. Luca’s lips had been close to his skin, his body pressed to Tim’s back, his hands pinning Tim to the wall. Despite everything, despite his twisting stomach and rapid pulse, Tim had been hard, squirming, and embarrassed. How Luca had laughed.

Of course he would have smelled Tim’s every horny teenaged thought. He’d known more than Tim ever had. And his response had been to shove Tim face-first against a wall the second he’d caught him alone and call him the Little Dirus Bitch.

Tim flushed with remembered shame. Luca hadn’t been too wrong. But Luca hadn’t done any taking. Silas had arrived at the house, so Luca had stepped away a second before pushing Tim toward his room and snarling for Tim to stay there next time.

Tim inhaled sharply, getting more of
Luca
as Luca stepped closer. Robin’s Egg was a bright flutter at the edge of his vision. Albert was a confused, hazy figure, his posture screaming alarm. There was no sign of Cosmo and nothing else of note from any of the customers. Tim didn’t risk a glance out the window. Nathaniel had no reason to be there, and not seeing him might be worse than seeing him and having to watch him walk in here unaware of the danger.