Little Wolf (31 page)

“Your clothes.” Nathaniel’s voice was difficult to hear, and meanings Tim might have picked up on in a wolf’s body were lost in the purely human intonations. Tim struggled to understand anyway as Nathaniel came closer to drop off the bundle he’d been holding under his arm. Tim sighed for his clothes and rubbed his chilled, naked arms before he accepted them.

The tangle of his charms immediately caught his eye, and he slipped the necklace on and pressed the charms to his skin. He exhaled heavily but kept his gaze down. He should be fine. There was no sensation of any spells broken, but he’d have to be more careful. His pulse was too fast, so he tried to slow it, but Nathaniel was close and the air was full of him. Tim was aware at an intimate, instinctual level of his bare skin and the earth under his ass and the way Nathaniel continued to watch him.

“Big Wolf?” Tim wondered in a whisper. Heat flooded through his face, so he grabbed his shirts and tugged them on. When he reached for his jeans, Nathaniel turned his head in another direction. Tim couldn’t think to say anything about it, but he made a noise, a low grunt that brought Nathaniel’s attention to him. His subconscious had labeled Nathaniel more than one name, but several names for one object was natural for a more animal state of mind. “What happened?”

Tim almost didn’t hear Nathaniel’s soft sigh as he turned away again. “You must be starving. We should get some food in you.”

Tim’s stomach immediately rumbled at the suggestion. He licked his mouth again, the blood that was no longer there, then pulled on the rest of his clothes. He had his shoes on before he could make himself sound reasonable and not like a yippy wolf already used to getting its own way. “I had blood on me. Pretty sure I ate.”

Nathaniel must have caught something for him. It’d be just like him to feed Tim even as a wolf.

He gathered up the empty water bottle and the bloodied wipes, then stood up. Nathaniel’s glance at him was Nathaniel’s wolf all over again.

“You killed a rabbit,” Nathaniel observed with his usual care.

Tim almost tripped, and he wasn’t even moving yet. “I did?” He wobbled, relearned how to balance on two legs, then stood up straighter. “I don’t remember that.”

“I think you… lost yourself for a while.” There were times when Nathaniel’s caution got annoying. Tim narrowed his eyes, and though Nathaniel probably wasn’t impressed with the display of anger, he did keep talking. “That likely won’t happen the next time you shift, but it was understandable this time. You were acting on instinct,” he explained, but there was something in his voice, something that made Tim hop forward restlessly. He was too tired for this nonverbal shit.

“So I ate a rabbit?” That wasn’t everything. It couldn’t be. Nathaniel would have enjoyed that too much, not been wary to mention it.

“No, you didn’t eat it.” Again, Nathaniel put caution into his words, but Tim was onto him.

“
I
didn’t,” Tim repeated, then looked sharply over at the brown-and-gold son of a bitch. “I brought you a rabbit, didn’t I?” he demanded in an overly loud voice that sent the remaining forest animals around them scattering away. “Oh my God.” He didn’t need an answer now, not a spoken one. He rubbed at his face, his cheeks, and then his mouth. “That is incredibly embarrassing. Yeah, I caught one, so score one for Little Wolf. But oh my God, I—”

“It wasn’t embarrassing.” Nathaniel cut him off, all kinds of rumbles in the words, the kinds of sounds Tim was starting to notice in new ways. The kinds of sounds Nathaniel made when his wolf was near the surface and very happy. “Don’t be embarrassed. I accepted it.”

Tim shut his mouth and stared back for a long, still moment. He didn’t know why that information startled him. After all, Nathaniel had been lusting after Tim from the start and had assumed Tim had known it. But Tim’s desire for him and Tim’s gift of food were different things somehow, very different.

Nathaniel seemed unperturbed by this turn of events, so after a while Tim cleared his throat and made a big deal out of straightening his clothes again. The task was harder than it ought to have been, but Tim had to concentrate and remember he had hands and not paws.

“Do you want to go?” The gentleness in Nathaniel’s tone wasn’t called for. Tim must have been starving, because he couldn’t summon the energy to contest it. He nodded, and Nathaniel hesitated another moment before leading the way to the truck. “You did a lot,” Nathaniel continued. He made almost no noise as he moved. Tim tiredly tried to follow his example, choosing his steps with more care. He must have been better at it than he thought, because after a few seconds Nathaniel stopped and glanced back for him. When he saw Tim, he kept walking. “You are quite the runner,” he commented, and Tim had another flashing vision of the two of them dashing across the meadow like hyper pups. “Did you keep your human thoughts?” Nathaniel sighed like he already knew the answer. He took the garbage from Tim when they reached the truck and shoved it into the glove compartment. He snorted when Tim shook his head. “It will come to you later. It takes experience.”

Experience Tim hadn’t gotten. Like so many other things. Things he would have been able to handle, or at least name, if he’d known about them. Like what exactly it meant that he had given Nathaniel food and Nathaniel had accepted it.

Tim made himself smile and shrug. “Hey, I killed a rabbit. I guess I won’t starve in the woods after all. So that’s good.”

If Nathaniel was pissed or hurt, there was no sign. His answering grin was as pleased as Carl sneaking a donut. “You’ll do all right.” He was smiling, but Tim got the impression of something bothering him, something there and gone. Nathaniel was too controlled, and Tim wasn’t skilled enough yet, but he could guess. Nathaniel was worried about Tim leaving, and what kind of trouble he’d be facing. With the wolf in Tim’s thoughts worn out and momentarily satisfied with the events of the day, Tim could see his point. Tim hadn’t had enough practice using his were senses yet. He’d stand a better chance if he knew more about himself.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember much. He got into the truck and pulled the blanket over his lap. A nap seemed like a great idea, although he’d need to eat first. And maybe take a shower. He didn’t feel dirty, exactly, but there were scratches and strange sensations through his skin, and he was cold without his fur. “So,” he drew out the word while Nathaniel started the truck. Tim stared out the window. “You saw me naked.”

Nathaniel coughed a laugh, as if taken by surprise. Tim supposed a normal person would have been more worried about the wolf stuff, but those memories would come back to Tim with time, whereas Nathaniel’s thoughts on Tim’s bare ass would not.

Nathaniel’s silence kind of said everything. “Skinny, right? Pale.” Tim agreed with the assessment he wasn’t getting. “There’s a bit of meat back there.”

“There’s nothing wrong with your body. You named yourself ‘Littlewolf,’ remember that.” Nathaniel was gruff and no-nonsense. Tim turned to him with his mouth hanging open, then snapped it shut. “The stink of the lie was all over you,” Nathaniel explained before Tim could ask. “You created a false name that reflected how you felt about yourself. I’m not a therapist, but if it makes you feel any better, I could tell you about my experiences in high school.”

“Please tell me you were banging the football team.” Tim had seen enough movies and TV to have a vague idea of how high school worked. He also had no desire to discuss his thoughts on his stature.

Nathaniel massaged the nape of his neck and kept his focus on the road. “No. Not even close. I wasn’t banging anybody. Weres go through puberty, you know. Mine was about as bad as anyone’s, maybe slightly worse if you take my family into account.”

“Your family?” Tim had almost forgotten Nathaniel’s family was old wolf. “What was wrong with you?”

“Nothing!” Nathaniel barked and then looked sheepish. “It’s a sensitive subject. I went to a human school where I did not fit in. I could never tell if it was more for the fact that I was a being or the color of my skin. Added to that, I couldn’t control my shifts very well until I was about sixteen. I was also this tall but thin as a rail. Don’t raise your eyebrow, it’s true. I filled out later, but that didn’t help me much at the time.”

“I’m having trouble processing this image,” Tim interrupted, not even trying to tease. He really hoped there were pictures of a gawky, bony Nathaniel. “But they knew you were a werewolf. They knew what you’d turn into. Well, maybe they wouldn’t have guessed the werewolf pinup that you are now, but they’d know you were going to get hot.”

“Maybe they did, but it didn’t help me then. Among weres the attitude was still to ‘slut it up’ as you put it, and that didn’t happen for me. My mother despaired.” Nathaniel rubbed the back of his neck again, highly uncomfortable. “It didn’t work out well for me, in the end. Experience can be a good thing.”

“Oh.” Tim pushed the blanket down. “Is that why you were so nice about it? Me, I mean.”

“I was ‘nice’ about it, because unlike how you still think of me sometimes, I’m not an abusive jerk like this Luca person who did such a number on you.” Nathaniel was snappish, though Tim thought it was aimed more at Luca than at him. “I’m telling you because I want you to feel more comfortable. I want you to know I have a better view of being unsure of your body than most would think.”

“You could tell them otherwise,” Tim suggested, mostly kidding.

Nathaniel snorted. “Why would I do that?” No wolf with any sense was going to advertise a weak spot like that. Best to leave it hidden… yet he’d told Tim to make Tim feel better.

Tim ducked his head to peer sideways at Nathaniel’s perfect profile. “From my understanding of high schools, that would mean you were not very popular.”

“I was a beanpole with no coordination who was still stronger than my human classmates.” Nathaniel’s words were easy, but his tone echoed with things he wasn’t saying. Tim, the wolf in Tim, whined internally. Nathaniel glanced over as if he heard. “I was also taller than everyone, even the members of my family. There was no avoiding attention, but I tried. I spent most of my time hiding away with the chess club.”

“Holy shit.” Tim couldn’t handle it. He put a hand on his chest and took a deep breath. He didn’t need to attempt to sniff out the truth; he’d seen the buried chess set. “You were in
chess club
.” The wolf in him made him grunt and scoot over, testing the limits of his seat belt as he put his face against Nathaniel’s shoulder and inhaled the scent of a big chess-playing wolf. “Play with me someday.” He flushed to hear himself and know what a dork he was to be so turned on by one innocent confession. He couldn’t stop imagining Nathaniel as a skinny nerd playing chess with awestruck, bitter humans, afraid to touch them yet desperately wanting to, and channeling his energies into
chess
.

“Little Wolf?” Nathaniel started to ask some question but evidently figured out why Tim was rubbing his face on him. “Tim,” he rumbled, and put a hand down to the seat. “Chess?”

“Chess,” Tim confirmed, his face red-hot. Tim recalled himself and the fact that he was groping Nathaniel and sat up. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s been years and it isn’t like I got hard when I’d play a game with my uncle. But thinking of you like that… never mind.” He wished he had more water. “I… you packed your set away. You don’t play anymore?”

“Free time is an issue.” Nathaniel slowly returned his hand to the steering wheel. “I’m rarely home, and when I have someone over—”

“They aren’t there to play chess,” Tim finished for him, not wanting the details. “I could.” He risked another glance and met Nathaniel’s gaze. He licked his lips and ignored his burning, racing blood. “I could play chess with you. I’ll kick your ass too.” Probably. He had no guarantee of that and wasn’t as certain of victory as he would have been if he’d made the claim yesterday, but his boast made Nathaniel quirk a smile.

“Oh really?” Nathaniel’s throaty reply was enough to shut Tim up for a few minutes, not that it stopped him from kicking restlessly as he imagined sitting across a chessboard from Nathaniel.

“So what happened?” Tim asked at last, when the silence had gone on and it was speak or bury his face in Nathaniel again and ask his favorite gambits. Nathaniel gave him a quizzical look. Tim went on. “In high school. I don’t actually know what high school is like. I’d guess you’d say I was homeschooled. But I’ve seen TV, and I’ve watched people over the years, so I can imagine. Were you even worse than me now when you were in school? I bet that was awful.”

“You only say that because you haven’t seen yourself.” Nathaniel was doing that thing where he kept his eyes on the road instead of on Tim, as if that was going to disguise what he was saying and how he was saying it. “As a wolf, you’re lean and quick, with eyes that don’t miss a thing. You move fast. At a full run, you’re faster than me, and for all that there’s not much to you, what is there is mostly muscle. Your fur is like snow over the ground, white with hints of brown, and thick.” Nathaniel’s voice softened. “As a man you are just as lean and strong. Yes, you’re pale, but that’s nothing the sun wouldn’t fix, and in the meantime there are freckles, patches of brown I don’t mind at all.” Judging from his tone, he more than “didn’t mind.” Nathaniel’s voice was rough, but Tim didn’t miss the amused twist of his mouth. “And don’t worry, you’ve got plenty of meat back there.”

Tim put his hands to his face and sat there trying not to die while Nathaniel kept on talking.

“A long time ago there were more types of weres in the world. But the bigger ones couldn’t handle the changes the humans forced on us when they banded together to kill us and chase us from our forests.”

Tim knew that part of were history but stayed silent to hear what Nathaniel was trying to tell him.

“In that situation, with homes gone and food scarce and humans taking over our spaces, it was the smaller were families who survived the best. They were stronger because they could adapt. They could blend into the human populations with less notice. Because they were smaller than the big families and old clans, they had already learned other ways to survive. They were smart and used their strength when they really needed it, even if the older families, the mostly dead older families, sometimes don’t see it that way and lament the smaller weres of today.”