Lissa Kasey - Dominion 2 - Reclamation (2 page)

The thought of not knowing him had never bothered me before. I assumed my mother had taken whatever liberties were due her as a leader in the Dominion and forced my father to give her a child. Now the idea that he was such a mystery sort of drove me nuts. Sure, I could call Jamie and hed probably tell me, but he was mad at me. No need to give him another reason to feel he had to take care of me.

At almost twenty-three I was more than capable of survival, even when faced with some of the worst situations. Something that Id proven only a few weeks ago. I didnt need anyones reluctant babying.

Searching the Internet for my father pulled up very little information. Dorien Merth had died while I was still in my mothers womb. Everything else was classified in password protected Dominion files. That didnt bode well.

My phone rang. The number came up with a bunch of zeros, I flipped it open. “Hello?”
“You should die, you abnormal faggot freak. Youve got no right to be Pillar.” The phone clicked off before I could reply. I tried to dial back, but the number was blocked.
It rang again within seconds, and I glared at it until Kellys number popped up. I flipped it open, almost dreading what Id hear. “Hello?”
“Hey, Sei. You busy? Im headed to the Dominion Library at the U to look up some water stuff. Want to keep me company? All the girls can stare at both of us.”
At least Kelly experienced a lot of what I did. I wondered if he was getting hate e-mails and calls. At five seven, Kelly only had three inches on me and probably thirty pounds, since he was very athletic. But his blond shaggy surfer-cut hair made folks think of him as not all that bright. However, he was the top of his class. Graduated valedictorian of his high school and had a full scholarship to the U of M.
“Sure. Can you pick me up?” My night vision wasnt great since becoming Pillar. The power the earth cycled through me sometimes pulsed in waves that could make me swerve or stop for fear of crashing. It was like being hit with bouts of nausea, only it didnt really hurt.
“Yep. Be there soon.” We hung up the phone, and I waited for it to ring again, but it didnt. Just to be sure to settle my nerves, I drank another cup of tea.
Once the teacup was in the dishwasher and the counter clean again, I pulled on a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I lifted my hair back into a ponytail before stepping into my boots and swinging on my coat. The Dominion Library was probably a good place to look for stuff about my dad.

K
ELLY
talked, the whole drive, about the latest in boating, or something along that line. Anything sports made him happy. Hed asked me to join his fantasy football league and gave me a funny look when I asked if that was something to do with naked football players.

We stopped at a light and waited for it to change. I stared out at the darkening sky and wondered what else in my life could be different. Red turned green, and Kelly pulled his sedan into the intersection.

A truck swerved around all the others, headlights glaring in our direction. “Shit!” Kelly cursed, hitting the gas and jerking the car to the left. The truck missed us by inches, everyone honking and shouting out their windows. Kelly pulled into a nearby parking lot and sucked in several deep breaths.

My heart pounded, and the shake began in my hands. I gripped my sweats around my thighs, pulling the fabric tight enough to hurt. No way was I going to lose it here.

“You okay?” I asked Kelly when my voice felt steady again.
“Yeah. You?”
“Yeah. Lets go to the library.” I was the older of us. I had to take care of him. Kelly looked up to me. I had to be strong for him, even when I was afraid.
“Okay.” He huffed out a heavy breath. “Should we call the cops or something?”
“For what? We didnt get hit. It was just a really bad driver.” I hadnt even noticed much about the truck other than it had been big and dark. Winter was pretty notorious for bringing out the worst drivers. “Lets go.”
Kelly nodded and carefully pulled out of the lot and back onto the street. Thankfully, the library had only a handful of people in it. Since it was dinnertime, I hoped everyone took a long meal break.
“Im headed to the water collection. Are you going to earth?” Kelly asked.
“Nope. Microfilm.” What I wanted was in classified databases, but a lot of that info was still readily available on old microfilm. Itd be a bitch to find. But I had to start somewhere.
Kelly and I separated to our areas. I browsed the time frame in which my father had died, sometime in the early fall of my birth year. Starting in July and working my way up, it wasnt until I hit October that I found it. Odd since I was born in November and the article online had said Merth had died in September. The microfilm said on October twentythird a public execution had been held. Four male witches sentenced to burn at the stake for violating Dominion Code. Though the article didnt specify what theyd done, there was a picture of my dad with three other men.
Finding out he died at the hands of the Dominion didnt surprise me. Jamie had pretty much said so when Id gone in for my levels retest. He blamed my mother for my dads death. But she wasnt mentioned anywhere in this print.
I scrolled through to find the date of my birth. Nothing was mentioned. It figured, as only female children of the Dominion were usually announced. I exited the microfilm and headed to the open computers.
E-mailing Dr. Tynsen the list I had and my answer to what I wanted to get out of our meetings, I asked her, “Can you help me have sex with my boyfriend again?”
What would she make of that? Wed spoken little of my relationship, mostly because I didnt want to talk about it. Shed never expressed any discomfort with my homosexuality. At least not yet.
I did a few other quick searches on myself and found endless articles bashing me, and a few websites apparently dedicated to my death. The Ascendance had their own website, and the most recently posted blog talked about how convenient it had been for Rose to die and Brock to try to kill me. Without both incidents I would not be Pillar, and they would not have their chance to force the Dominion to adopt equality.
They touted Brock as somewhat of a hero. He
had
been a member. Though in smaller text it said his use of murder was unlawful. Just unlawful? What about rape and kidnapping? Neither was mentioned.
My stomach rumbled so I logged off to go find the vending machines. Jamie would have a fit later when he found out I had eaten junk food. I stared at the selections for a few minutes, debating between the Kit Kat and a Twix, when someone shoved me heavily from behind. I stumbled into the machine, only barely catching myself to keep my face from smashing into the glass.
“What the fuck!” I said, heart pounding in my chest.
Looking back, a couple of large guys walked away as if nothing had happened. They were dressed in uniform. But it was off season for football, and they didnt much look like the library type.
It was like being back in first year. My luck, Id go home and find myself hexed again.
The tremble started in my hands. After typing in the number for the Kit Kat, I hurried back to the library and found Kelly nose deep in a book on water magic. He looked so happy I couldnt bring myself to bother him with my troubles.
Moving to a computer near him, I logged on again. I felt marginally safer with Kelly close. I could probably ask him to sit with me while I searched online. But he had his own reasons for being here, and I didnt want to be a burden to him any more than I was to anyone else. And it was my job to protect him, so I kept an eye out for the rogue football players.
Ten new messages sat in my e-mail box. Most were hate mail. But one was a reply from Dr. Tynsen. She wrote:

This is a good start. Keep working on your list. Also I may have a solution to your issues with sex. Take a look at the links below and give me a call tomorrow morning. If you want, I can set up an appointment for you.

The link went to a website about hypnosis. Apparently it was something that people did to get through everything from smoking addictions to multiple personalities. Clicking to see certified practitioners, I was surprised to find Dr. Tynsen on the list. She had her own page that spoke of repressed memories and how simple reworking could make the brain “rewire” itself to overcome issues.

Like the medications, it sounded too good to be true. The testimonials pages went on and on about personal experiences. People who used hypnosis instead of drugs. One man talked about how hed been mugged and was too afraid to go outside. None of the anxiety pills helped, but after one session going under, hed found the strength to not only leave his house, but venture into a crowded mall.

Could something so simple cure me?
Gabe told me every day, sometimes several times a day, that he loved me. How long would that last if I continued to be this emotionally stunted? Words only went so far. I sighed and sent Dr. Tynsen back an e-mail.
Can we do this tomorrow morning? I can be in early.
Her reply came back fairly quickly.
Eight o’clock at my office. See you there.
I signed off. Going anywhere that early meant a cab or Jamie. The crowd in the library was growing. Murmurs and whispers expanding to a dull roar. Something that grated at me. It felt like they were all talking about me. I searched the crowd for the jocks who had abused me at the vending machine, fearing theyd followed me. But they didnt appear.
Kelly sat down beside me, hands free of books now. He looked cautious. “You ready to go?”
Had he seen the tension in my face? “Yes, please.”
We headed back to the car, and I texted Jamie about the morning ride. He answered back almost immediately that he would drive. I hoped he wasnt on a date. If he was, he certainly wasnt paying a lot of attention to her.
Kelly dropped me off at the front of the building. I was somewhat happy he didnt demand to walk me to the door. But then he was probably living in a similar fishbowl. He should have felt lucky he wasnt Pillar.
Then the real fun began.
One familiar face waited in the lobby, browsing a magazine. Detective Andrew Roman looked up from his seat, then slammed the magazine closed and got up. His dark hair and pretty blue eyes made him look so normal. But he was a vampire, a powerful witch, and didnt like me much.
Gabe told me Roman was air. Very different from my earth. Air was usually less powerful. But since he could use his ability to cloud the sky, he could travel during the day, even when the sun was still up. Though, since it was after dark, it was a little odd finding him in Gabes apartment building, as he didnt seem to want to be in the same room as my lover.
“Rou,” he said.
“Do you need something, Roman?” I asked. “Has another witch died that I can be blamed for?”
“I know youre bitter about that—”
Bitter? That was putting it mildly. “Brock tried to kill me. He was one of your faithful followers, wasnt he? I saw the crap you guys posted on the Ascendance site.”
“Maybe we can go inside and talk about this,” Roman said very quietly.
Like inside Gabes condo? “Not a chance. What do you want? Why do you keep bringing us up to the Trimega?”
Roman sighed but didnt look all that repentant. “Youre just a means to the end, Rou.”
“What end? Are you still trying to hurt Gabe? Wasnt it your wife that turned him into a vampire?” Gabe told me the story. Roman had been a general above Gabe, but Romans wife had a thing for Gabe. She had become a vampire in her quest for eternal beauty, and when she made Gabe a vampire instead of Roman, the General had tried to kill Gabe. Instead Gabe had run away from them both, getting himself transferred to another division, despite his new issues, which was where he met and fell in love with Titus. “She killed Titus, the man he loved.”
“And he slaughtered her for it,” Roman told me.
“Sounds like an eye for an eye to me.”
“Not for me,” he said it quietly, and I got that he felt like a lover seeking revenge for his wife. I just dont think he got that his wife obviously hadnt loved him else she would never have gone for Gabe to begin with.
Either way I was not letting him near Gabe. “If you hurt him, I will put an end to you and the Ascendance.”
“Stronger witches have tried.”
“Youve never met a stronger witch than me.” I glared at him.
Sure, I was a level-five earth witch and the Pillar of Earth, I had power. But I also knew more about the Dominion than most and had a couple of influential people who I could whisper to, like my mother, Tanaka Rou, and the woman who was to become the mother of my child, Hanna Browan. I figured a few of my professors would stand beside me as well.
“Jonathon?” I called to our doorman.
He immediately jumped to my side. He wasnt a large man but well recognized, and the lobby was full of people getting their mail or talking. “Yes, Mr. Rou?”
“Please see this gentleman out. He is not a guest of ours.” That little phrase meant he would not be allowed back in unless he was with a tenant.
“Yes, sir.” Jonathon motioned to Roman. “This way, sir, please. I dont wish to call security.”
I turned to the elevator.
“Its not over, Rou. You may have killed Brock, but there are others out there who want you dead,” Roman told me.
My pulse sped up. The truth in his words stung. “Great. Sounds like youll have to get in line then. Because youll have to kill me to get to Gabe.” The crowd in the room all stared, and I didnt care. I just watched Jonathon escort Roman out.
I made my way downstairs, paranoia making me wait for three elevators to pass before I got an empty one. Once inside Gabes apartment, I went to work, putting together a lemon-strawberry tart that went perfectly with the wine I had in the fridge. When he returned, Id kiss him hello and serve dessert and maybe wed make love. I was hopeful, and hope was all I could really cling to.

T
HE
night passed just as every other had: disappointingly. Gabe came home and patiently watched me eat while sipping his wine. Id even sat on his lap, rubbing his cock through his jeans. He let me kiss him after Id swallowed each bite of the sweet tart.

I wondered if he actually tasted the sugar and sharp flavor of the dessert on my lips, or if it even mattered.
I ate two whole pieces in the building up of sexual tension between us. But once again, proceeding beyond a hand job had been impossible. The failure embarrassed and depressed me.
I begged him to just fuck me anyway, thinking maybe the feelings would override the fear. But he wouldnt. Instead he just hugged me tightly and held me until I slept.
In the morning I woke up just past four. Spent time in the library reading, ate breakfast, and tried to not think too much about last night. Gabe said nothing. He worked on business things on his computer and let me have my space. He really was too perfect for me.
When Jamie showed up just after seven, I realized I hadnt told Gabe what I was doing. Mentioning to him that I was going to have someone hypnotize me into having sex with him again didnt sound like a very relationship-solid idea. But his questioning look as I threw on my coat meant I had to say something. Hed be headed to bed soon, but that didnt mean he wouldnt worry.
“I have a doctors appointment. Were working on that list,” I told him. Simple enough, and true in a loose sense.
“Okay.” He crossed the room and kissed me lightly. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I grumbled, following Jamie out the door.
Jamie said nothing. Didnt even look at me. I returned his silence with staring out the window at the growing winter. People moved around in a mad scurry of thick coats and scarves. Winter had come early this year. Record cold temperatures had been predicted for next week. A bad omen, some said. Mostly about my ascending to the role of Pillar.
We pulled up to the office building again. The morning already felt like déjà vu. “What time do you want me to pick you up?” was the first thing Jamie had said to me since hed arrived this morning at Gabes place.
How long did hypnosis take? I shrugged. “Can I text you? I dont know if she has a set time in mind.”
He was quiet for a few seconds. Then finally he said, “Okay. Just stay at the office, please.”
“Sure.” I got out and headed inside, somewhat surprised there was no receptionist in, and the waiting room was empty.
“Seiran, come on back.” Dr. Tynsen appeared from the left hallway and led me toward her room. This time she had the couch pulled out from the wall and the recliner sat next to it. “Make yourself comfortable on the couch.”
I hung my jacket on the coat rack beside the door and left my bag at the end of the couch. The shake had already taken pretty strong hold of my hands. After lying down on the couch, I readjusted the heavy leather pillow beneath my head and tried to force myself to stop shaking. My knees knocked together almost loud enough for anyone to hear.
“Dont be nervous, Seiran. Think of hypnosis as a dream. It cant hurt you. And you can wake up anytime you need to.”
“Youre sure this will help me be normal again? As normal as I can be.” I knew being like everyone else was impossible. But finding the guy Id been before Brock had taken me on a head trip would be nice.
“Everyone responds differently. But it cant hurt. Close your eyes. I want you to focus on my voice.”
I did as she instructed, listening to her voice as sometimes I could with Gabes. The tone was soft and soothing, coaxing me into a light sleep. A month ago I would have joked about there being no watch or lines like “You are getting very sleepy.” Now I just focused on finding that high place she spoke of. Where I could stare down at myself and see what would need to be fixed.
It felt good at first. Detached from the emotions. Memories swirled around me like movies waiting to be clicked to life. And with the movies came the feelings. Not all of them good.
“Tell me about Matthew.”
The image of Matthew rose up before me. He had green eyes, too, a lot like Gabes. But Matthew had been dark. His black hair cropped military short, face that sort of rugged handsome that soldiers often obtained, and skin dark tan. I remembered the first time wed met. My mother had dropped me off at military school. The sergeant immediately went to work to make a man out of me, buzzing my hair short and dressing me in fatigues. I was almost eleven. Hed yelled at me for having no muscle tone and not being able to do any pushups. Then hed dragged me down a long hallway filled with open doors to pound on the closed one at the end.
The door swung wide, and Matthew stood there. Hed smiled, introduced himself, and put a hand on my shoulder, telling me he was the head of the junior dorms and would take good care of me. The sergeant left me there.
“New meat, eh, Pierson?” another boy jeered as he passed us.
“Arent you supposed to be in PE, Juckert? Get moving,” Matthew said.
“Yeah, yeah.”
Matthew shrugged. “Dont let them bother you. This place is hell, but youll make good friends here.” He opened the door across from him and gestured to the empty unmade beds. “Take your pick. We probably wont have any more new recruits until spring.”
Hed left me there to unpack. Not that I had much. But the memory of our meeting had been strong.
“Were you attracted to him right away?” The question came from far away.
Had I? Hed been a good-looking boy. Older, maybe fifteen. At the time, I hadnt equated the tingling in my stomach with desire. In fact, I hadnt known at all what it meant until nearly two months later.
The teachers worked me hard. I remembered pouring myself into bed at night, in so much physical pain I thought Id die. That day Id come in last from the run. One mile had turned to two and then four because I dared to slow down enough to walk when my sides burned. Everyone else had finished ages ago. When I finally stumbled into the shower room, I never expected to see one of my older classmates bent over one of the benches, Matthew thrusting into his backside with heartfelt grunts.
Id never seen anything like it before. Matthews hand worked at the other boys cock, pulling it in fierce strokes. I stood frozen in the doorway, watching, feeling that tingle in my stomach awaken something in me Id never felt before. Matthew glanced up, meeting my eyes, not even pausing in his work. He grabbed the other boys hips and snapped harder into him, making them both grunt terribly erotic sounds, all while holding my gaze. He pulled out, rubbing himself fiercely and pulling off the plastic sheath I would later learn was a condom, and then released himself over the other boy in gooey white streams.
He smiled at me, then shoved his fingers into the boys ass until the other boy shouted and jetted his white come all over the bench. I turned and ran, feeling like the devil was on my heels. My body felt so odd, hot and achy. I made it all the way back to my room before touching myself to mimic the way Matthew had touched himself minutes ago.
Id been so afraid of the feeling that I nearly forbid myself from coming that day. But once the cycle was started I couldnt stop, and when I was finally spent, Id discovered something about myself that I thought so evil I began working my body in the gym as punishment. Running miles a day, swimming until my arms ached, and when Matthew came for me after class one day, I should have walked the other way.
The mix of pleasure and pain when he sucked me off and put his fingers in my ass for the first time was beyond anything Id experienced on my own. I welcomed the hurt the first time he sank into me. Cursed myself for being a monster and felt it shouldnt feel good. But when pleasure replaced the pain, and I begged him for more, I knew there was something twisted inside me.
I clung to him. Despite our age difference and that I knew he regularly did other boys, some not as willing as I, I needed him.
“Was it your first encounter with sex?”
“Other than what I saw on TV, yes.” One of my babysitters had brought magazines once, filled with naked girls. None of that had ever made me feel like I had that day in the academy locker room.
“Why did you feel it was evil? Did your mother speak ill of homosexuals?”
“I saw things on the news. Hate groups. The Dominion often preached on the benefits of women marrying other women, but men with other men was prohibited. Procreation probably. My mother and I didnt talk about sex at all,” I replied.
“How did your relationship with Matthew progress?” she prompted.
I wished it were all more of a blur. Months passed, and the two of us often met in my room, the locker room, a main hall closet, anywhere away from prying eyes, to fuck. Hed taught me all the dirty words and tricks, showed me how high my body could fly with the feeling. Then one night hed forced his way into my room, words a little slurred, another boy with him. This one tall and built like a house.
The other boy and Matthew kissed, right there in front of me. I remember blinking through my sleepiness when they both crawled into my bed.
“Matt—” I began to protest, but his lips covered mine. The other boy pulled my pajama bottoms down, and his mouth devoured my cock. The feeling was amazing, but I didnt want anyone but Matthew. I pushed him away. “Stop.”
Matthew laughed. “You dont want me to get bored, do you, baby? Let Pete have some fun. I promise youll like it.” He dropped a box of condoms on the bed next to me and turned to Pete. “His ass is like heaven. Just wait til you hear the little sounds he makes when you fuck him.”
I felt heat color my face. “I dont want anyone else,” I tried to protest, but Pete was already rolling a condom down the long length of him. Matthew pressed a lubed finger into my ass. This time all I felt was the burn.
“Dont be silly, baby. Pete will nail you good, and I can fuck your mouth. You know how much you like to suck my cock. Just think of it as me doing you all at once. Filling you up.”
“That was the first time you were raped?” Again that distant voice.
“I wanted it,” I replied. “I always wanted Matthew.”
“But not Pete.”
“He was the first. Not the last.” Matthew had brought numerous guys to my bed, citing added sexual excitement each time he did. Eventually I stopped protesting, since he just told me that surely I didnt want him bored with me.
The night before he graduated hed brought several friends to my room, plied me with alcohol, and fucked me until I passed out. When I woke, he was gone. Left the academy forever, and apparently wasnt looking back.
I wrote letters to him, though they were all returned unopened. And my last few years before college were spent seducing as many of the “straight” boys as I could. All the while feeling used and useless.
“You met Gabe in that time,” the distant voice reminded me.
“He was different.”
“How?”
“His eyes and body said he wanted me. But he wouldnt give in.” That Halloween party had been a friends idea. Randy and I had left the academy early that weekend with the excuse of going home, though neither of us planned to go home to our parents.
He was a lycan, turned furry under the full moon. Id watched him do it a time or two. Used his change to help coax the first change I ever made on the new moon. And that party was on the third crest of the new moon. It was either change that night, or find someone to screw me until the energy faded.
I always hated Wisconsin. Youd drive and drive to finally arrive and there was nothing. A bonfire maybe, a handful of people, none of which I ever wanted to take me home. This party wasnt all that different. More people, and since the earth power rode me, I knew more than a fair share of them were shifters.
“You look like sex on a stick, Sei. Meow,” Randy teased.
Wed had our moment, and I never let anyone have me twice. Not since Matthew. No one was allowed the time to grow bored with me. And Randy had been pretty bad in bed.
“Go find someone else to tweak your dick tonight. Im on the prowl.”
Randy laughed as he parked the car. We both got out. He wore shorts and a ripped T-shirt. His hair combed and styled in crazy directions. I didnt know what his costume was supposed to be.
“Owwooh, baby! Lets party,” he fake howled.
“Dont call me baby.” I stripped out of my coat and put on the little headband that had my fake cat ears glued to it. The night would be cold, so I had been sure to cover up. But though the black leggings and fitted leotard clung like a second skin, it really wasnt all that warm. Id just have to find someone to heat me up.
An old barn had been converted to a dance hall. The bonfire that raged outside threw off a pretty good amount of heat and light. Several couples made out around it, and I caught the smell of sex more than once. No one was taking their time. I didnt plan to, either.
“I hope theres booze,” Randy was telling me as we found our way inside.
“I smell vodka,” I told him.
“That sniffer of yours is scary.” He winked and smiled at a tall blond man across the room before waving to one of his fellow shifters in the corner. “One of my pack-mates is here. Im going to go check in,” he said and headed off in the opposite direction.
The blond stared at me briefly before flashing a dazzling smile. I smiled back and turned toward the punch bowl. It smelled mostly like alcohol. But that always made it easier, anyway. The blond followed me around to the table. His eyes were a pretty green that reminded me vaguely of Matthew. Two years, and I still longed for the jerk.
“Are you even legal?” the blond asked, leaning over me.
I threw him my most come-hither look and poured myself a glass. “Does it matter?” Knocking it back in one long gulp, I watched his eyes follow me. “Maybe youre a dirty old man looking for someone young?” He looked midtwenties, and Id had a fair share of those. Often they liked the foreign look of me, the slant of my eyes, or even my youth. None of that would matter soon. Theyd just be another vague memory. Sadly, the alcohol hadnt numbed me enough yet, but it would soon, and Id go home with someone. At least this man was good looking and polite.
“Im old. But not aiming for a firepit.” The man poured himself a glass of the alcohol- flavored punch and sipped it.
“Ah,” I said, swallowing another glassful. “Vampire, eh? Looking for an evening meal?”
The blond shook his head. “A kitten like you cant be much more than an appetizer.”
Stepping up close to him, I rubbed my rising erection against his thigh. “Im a seven course meal with dessert.” He shivered as I ran my hand down his arm, pressing the power of the new moon into him. Vampires were creatures of the earth, born from the dirt and cycles of rebirth. Hed feel brand-new when we fucked, or at least thats what the last vamp who had graced my bed told me.
“Youre a witch?” he asked, sounding shocked.
“That a problem?”
“Earth witch?”