Lion's Bride (15 page)

“I know it’s astonishing, since you’re most unlikable. It surprised me also. I’ve decided that I must have the same weakness in my character as Kadar. Or perhaps it’s poor judgment. At any rate, liking you will make keeping you company easier. I’ve not had much experience, but I hear friends make excellent company.”

He went still. “I’m not your friend.”

“Yes, you are. Or will be.”

“I’ve no desire to be your friend.”

“You’ve no choice. You’ve saved my life and you’re giving me Selene. Those are the acts of a friend.”

“Those were the acts of necessity.”

He was making this very difficult; but, then, he was a difficult man. In those hours in the tower she had determined that she would not be dissuaded. “You’re kinder than you would have it known.” She leaned back in her chair. “Finish eating. I’ll be silent. All this talk of kindness and friendship must be disturbing to one as churlish as you. I wouldn’t like you to have a bellyache.”

He finished his meat and reached for an apple. “I’m not churlish.” His teeth sank deep into the apple. “You call me your friend and then insult me.”

“I tell the truth. I’ve decided that I must accept your churlishness and try to find qualities in you to admire.” She smiled at him. “You cannot dissuade me. I
will
be your friend. Ware of Dundragon.”

“You will not—” He suddenly leaned back in his chair and wearily closed his eyes. “Do what you will. I suppose it makes no difference now. It’s too late. None of it matters.”

She stared at him in surprise. She had not expected surrender. It would not last, and she must take advantage of this unusual vulnerability. “If it doesn’t matter, tell me why this Vaden wishes to kill me.”

His lids opened, and she was shocked at the hollow desolation she saw there. “You laughed with me. You touched me.”

“What?”

“Vaden knows that you’re more than a woman for my bed. He’s afraid I might talk to you.” His laughter held a hint of desperation. “As I am doing now. I find it amusing that he drove me to the very thing they most want to avoid.”

It was not amusing. Thea had never seen such despair.

“You wish to be my friend?” He lifted his goblet to his lips. “You’ll change your mind. I’m not allowed to have friends. My friends die.”

It took her a moment to recover from the shock brought by his words. “Kadar is your friend. He’s not dead.”

“Yet. If he doesn’t leave me, they’ll kill him.”

“But why?”

“I told you. They won’t take the chance. Vaden has been waiting and watching for over two years. He knows Kadar has been at my side.”

“That doesn’t mean he’ll murder him. Wouldn’t he have done it before this?”

“He could afford to bide his time as long as Kadar is with me. He’s not like those others who murdered Phillipe. Vaden will kill me before he strikes at anyone else.”

“Phillipe?”

“My friend Phillipe of Girodeau. His kinsman Jeffrey was killed by the Templars, but Phillipe helped me anyway when I fled the Temple. For two months we scurried from place to place trying to hide. One night he insisted on going out of the caves to find food, and they captured him. When I found him, he’d been left for dead.” His voice hoarsened. “They’d tortured him to make him tell where I was hiding. He was in such pain that he could barely speak to me. He kept saying, ‘I didn’t tell. They couldn’t make me tell. Dear God, why, Ware? Why are they doing this to us?’” He poured himself another goblet of wine. “He died because I let him come too close.”

So no one must ever come close again, she thought. She remembered something he had said the night of the massacre. “You didn’t let anyone in Jedha come close, and they were killed too.”

“I believe the Grand Master was frustrated by my eluding him for such a long time and gave the order for the massacre to show me his power.” He smiled bitterly. “He knew the villagers were no danger. I’d been very careful after Phillipe. They died only because I was still alive.”

“So much hatred,” she whispered. “Why?”

He didn’t speak for a moment. “There were tales…. Jeffrey was curious and persuaded me to go down to the caves below the Temple. We saw something there we weren’t supposed to see.”

“What?”

He shook his head. “I’ve said enough. I’ve told you this much only because you deserve to know why you’re threatened. If I don’t tell you any more, it may save you.”

“It didn’t save your friend Phillipe.”

“No, and it wouldn’t save you from the Grand Master, but Vaden is different. If you could convince him you knew nothing…” He shrugged wearily. “I don’t know. He might let you go after I’m—”

Dead.
He stopped before he could say the word, but his meaning could not have been clearer. The same inevitability had rung clear with one of his remarks before. “Stop that,” she said sharply. “You speak as if you’re already dead.”

“I’d be a fool not to. I have the greatest soldiers in Christendom trying to kill me.” His tone became fierce. “But I won’t let them take me without exacting my due. A man should leave a mark on the world, and I’ll carve mine deep.”

She shivered. “With a sword? That’s not a mark, it’s a scar.”

“Then so be it.” He smiled recklessly. “It’s the only remembrance I’m being allowed to leave behind. Better a scar than nothing at all.” He met her gaze and asked mockingly, “And how do you feel now? Do you still wish to be my friend? Do you wish to join Phillipe and those poor souls at Jedha?”

He thought she would say no. Heaven help her, she wanted to say no. She wanted to run away from Dundragon and this man who thought he was doomed. Life and freedom were just opening to her. “I don’t want to die.”

“I thought not.”

“Wait. Hear me out. I don’t like it, but you bought my friendship with your deeds, and now I’ve no choice.” She glared at him. “But I won’t give up as you’re doing. I have too many things to do with my life. I won’t be killed and I won’t let Selene be killed. So you’d better find a way to save us all. Do you hear me?”

He blinked, and then a slow smile lit his face. “Oh, yes, I hear you.”

“And you can stop behaving like a bad-tempered oaf. It appears I’m going to have enough trials to suffer without putting up with—”

“Churlishness?” he finished for her.

She nodded. “Exactly. I’ll expect to see you here in the hall tomorrow morning to bear me company while I’m doing your accounts.” She rose to her feet. “And now I’m going to my bed. I’d advise you to do the same.”

“Go to your bed?”

“No, and I’ll not have you saying things intended to make me uncomfortable. I may have to make a place for you in my life, but it will only be on the terms of friendship and respect I choose.” She moved toward the door. “You knew very well what I meant.”

“Yes, I knew what you meant.” She glanced over her shoulder to see him smiling curiously. He said, “But I believe I’ll stay here awhile and ponder your tender words of camaraderie.”

“There’s nothing to ponder. I believe I’ve made myself clear.”

As she left the hall, she heard him murmur, “Oh, but there’s much to ponder, Thea.”

WARE WAS NOT in the Great Hall when Thea arrived there the next morning. However, the account books were stacked neatly on the long table.

Her lips tightening grimly, she went in search of him. The courtyard was filled with mounted men, and she found Ware in the act of mounting his horse. “I told you that I needed your help with the accounts. Where are you going?”

“Nowhere.” He looked down at her impassively. “Would I dare to abandon you when you gave me a command?”

“I did not—Well, perhaps I did, but you had already shown yourself entirely too eager to abandon me with the accounts.” She relaxed as she noticed he wasn’t wearing armor. He would not leave Dundragon without it. “What are you doing?”

“I’m preparing to put my men through their paces. I do it three times a week while I’m in residence at Dundragon. I’ll join you in the Great Hall when I’m finished.”

She remembered catching glimpses of the training during her first days there. “I’d like to watch.”

He shrugged. “Do as you like. Just stay out of the way.”

She sat down on the steps and encircled her knees with her arms.

Bowmen were practicing their skills in one part of the courtyard set aside for that purpose. However, for the better part of an hour Ware dedicated himself to the men on horseback, having them wheel on command and then charge across the courtyard with lances lowered. After he was satisfied with their performance, he turned the horsemen over to Abdul. Then he was everywhere, totally in command, instructing, watching, praising, scowling.

“Is he not splendid?” Thea glanced up to see Haroun on the top step. He sat down beside her, his gaze fastened worshipfully on Ware. “He shines like the sun.”

Thea did not find the description overaccurate. “I’d say he shimmers more than shines.” Like a broadsword in moonlight, lifted and ready to strike. “And should you be out of bed?” She touched the bandage binding his head. “Does it still ache?”

“No,” he answered, then gestured impatiently at the soldiers. “I should be out with them. Lord Ware said I am a soldier now, and soldiers don’t lie in bed being waited on.”

But he was only a boy, Thea thought sadly. So young to be dazzled by the military exercise surrounding him. She said gently, “Perhaps in a few days.”

“I’m well now.” His words came haltingly. “I mean no offense. You’ve been very kind, but it would be good to be busy again.”

Of course it would. She and Jasmine had been so concerned with healing him, they had almost forgotten that the best healer, other than time itself, was to be constantly occupied.

“You look in good health.” Ware was walking his horse toward the steps, his stern stare fixed on Haroun. “What are you doing sitting with women?”

Haroun flushed and jumped to his feet. “I did not mean—Jasmine said my wound is—I’m sorry, my lord.”

“If you’re sorry, you’ll go to the stable and report to Abdul. He has things to teach you, if you’re to be my squire.”

“At once, my lord. I did not—” He stopped, his eyes widening. “Your squire?”

“You heard me. I’m weary of having a hodgepodge of soldiers care for my armor and do my bidding. You may be young, but Abdul says you’re quick to learn.” His gaze bored into the boy’s. “Did he tell the truth?”

“I’ll be very quick, my lord. You’ll see….” He repeated in a whisper, “Your squire. Truly? Just like the squires of the Franks?”

“Better. Just as all my soldiers must be better.” He got down from the horse and tossed the boy the reins. “Take my horse to the stable. Abdul will show you how to care for him.”

Haroun nodded eagerly and jerked at the reins.

“Easy,” Ware said. “He’s well trained. You don’t have to drag him to the stable.”

Thea watched as the boy led the huge horse across the courtyard. Pride and eagerness were in every line of his thin, wiry body, and she was poignantly reminded of that night she had first met him.

“I suppose you disapprove,” Ware said. “You cannot pamper the boy forever. He’s better off with work to do.”

She didn’t point out that a few days was not forever. “I agree.”

His brows lifted. “You do?”

“When my mother died, I was glad I was forced to work. Why didn’t you have a squire before?” Then she realized the reason. A squire worked closely with his master, and Ware had allowed no one close. “Will he be safe?”

“The Grand Master has decreed no one is safe. At least he’ll be close enough for me to look after.” He strode up the steps. “Come along. You have work to do. You’ve been lazy enough this day.”

“Lazy? I’m not your squire and I do you a service. I will not be called—” She stopped in midsentence as she realized he was smiling. It was a small smile but, amazingly, contained no grimness, only a hint of mischief.

“I jest,” he said haltingly. “Have you no humor?”

The pot calling the kettle black, she thought. “You must warn me when you’re being humorous. It happens so rarely, I can’t be expected to recognize it.”

“You laughed with me at the mulberry grove.”

But this was different. This was not a response to a farcical situation but came from within. She had caught another glimpse of that younger Ware, and it had disconcerted her. “And evidently condemned myself to death. It’s not a result that would encourage a person to—” His smile had vanished and she felt a sudden sense of loss. She impulsively stepped forward and touched his arm. When he glanced down at her, she repeated his own words. “I jest. Have you no humor?”

The smile came again, warm, almost sweet. She felt as triumphant as if she had created a magnificent tapestry in a single sitting.

“My apologies,” he said. “I’ve been told it comes rarely.”

She nodded, and her hand dropped from his arm. “And quite rightly.” She preceded him into the castle. “Let’s see how much humor you can draw from those account books.”

“Why are you rubbing your eyes?” Ware asked.

“I’m about to turn blind trying to decipher this scribbling.” She looked up with an accusing frown. “Your fours look like sevens.”

“You’ve been staring at them for six days. You should be accustomed to them by now.” He leaned forward and glanced at the number she was indicating. “It’s a seven. It seems perfectly clear to me.” He frowned. “Well, maybe it’s a four.”

She glowered at him.

“No, it’s definitely a seven,” he amended.

“Even you can’t read it.”

“I’m a knight, not a scholar.” He leaned back in his chair. “Which reminds me, I’ve spent enough time sitting here doing nothing today.”

She picked up the quill and carefully clarified the seven. “You don’t go until I’m finished with this month’s accounts.”

“What a demanding woman you are. You’re fortunate I’m a patient man.” She didn’t rise to the goad, so he pushed a little more. “I’ve been thinking I’ve been too indulgent with you.”

Her head lifted like a falcon sighting prey. “Indulgent?”

He carefully kept his expression impassive. “What other man would sit in this chair these many days watching you struggle and taking your foul abuse? After all, you are only a woman.”

“And you are a dolt who does not even have the sense to speak sweetly to one who does you service. It’s no wonder you chose to be a monk, instead of a husband. No woman would suffer your ugly tongue.”

“Actually, a number of women have found my tongue very pleasing.” He could see she did not understand his hidden meaning. Her manner was so bold that he often forgot she had no carnal knowledge. He decided he had goaded her enough. “But since you have not, I tender my apologies. Perhaps another time.”

She studied him. “You’re teasing me.”

“Is that what I’m doing?” He smiled. “Then I must stop at once and let you return to your work. The sooner you finish, the sooner I can leave this chair.”

“I should abandon this…this monstrosity entirely. I may do it yet.”

“No, you won’t.” He had learned that Thea could not leave undone anything she had started. No matter how distasteful she found the task, she worked until she had mastered it. “We both know that’s not your nature. So get to it so that we may both be freed.”

She sighed and bent her head over the account book. A moment later he realized she had forgotten he was in the room. She would remain in that state until some other annoyance jarred her. He settled back, watching the expressions flit across her face. It was a wonderfully mobile face, brimming with expression, intelligence, and vitality. In the past few days he had made a game of guessing what she was thinking by studying that face.

And God knew that was a change for him, he thought wryly. Expressions had never been what he looked for in a woman. A woman was for coupling, and though he might wish one to enjoy the act, he had not cared if she thought at all.

But he wanted to know what Thea was thinking. Her wit was keen, her temper sharp as a dagger, and he found himself deliberately prodding her to bring it to the forefront. He enjoyed the way her eyes glittered as she went on the attack, the way she said what she thought with no attempt at subterfuge. He liked to watch her hands turning the pages with that strong, graceful movement. He was an active man, and these days of being pinned in one room should have bored him to madness, but the hours had passed…pleasantly.

Perhaps too pleasantly.

He immediately dismissed the thought. He found this time pleasant because it was an oasis in the turbulence surrounding him. No doubt he would grow bored if it extended for very much longer. After all, spending a few hours each day with Thea could not endanger her. The harm had already been done at the mulberry grove.

He was making excuses, he realized in disgust, when excuses were not necessary. So he took pleasure from these hours. It was no sin to enjoy a woman’s mind instead of her body.

Though he would like to enjoy the body too.

He quickly veered away from that pit. He could not sit here in comfort if he dwelt on what he would like to do to Thea’s body. He had tried to subdue his responses as he had in the Order, but it was different now that he was once more accustomed to taking pleasure where he found it. Being forced for hours to sit across a table from a young woman with breasts he remembered as being full and beautifully—

Don’t think of them. Think of her face, think of her wit, think of her smile. None of those were forbidden to him and brought their own pleasure.

She looked up suddenly. “You have a most peculiar expression. What are you thinking?”

He feigned a yawn. “That it’s too fine a day to be forced into company with a mere woman. Can you not hurry?”

“What are you doing out here?”

Thea looked up to see Ware standing above her. She brushed a strand of hair from her eyes and poured more water at the base of the young tree. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m trying to keep these trees alive.”

He frowned. “You didn’t come to the hall this morning.”

“Because I was in the stable gathering horse droppings and then out here spreading them underneath the trees.” She made a face. “I would almost have rather been working on the account books.”

“I thought Jasmine was helping you with the trees.”

“She has been a great help, but she has other duties.”

“Abdul could have assigned a man to do it.”

“I have plenty of time. I’m used to doing such tasks myself.” She carried the water bucket to the next tree. “And I like to be busy. I miss my work.” She poured water. “Besides, the accounting is almost all corrected. In a few days I’ll be finished.”

“You will?” His frown deepened.

“It’s taken long enough. Over three weeks. I’m certain you’ll be as grateful as I am. You’ll no longer have to be glued to that chair answering my questions.”

“Very grateful.” He was silent, watching her. “Will these trees live?”

“I think they will. If there’s not a bad storm to uproot them.”

“You like working with the earth.”

She nodded. “Growing things makes me feel…” She shrugged. “I like to know these trees may be here long after I’m gone. Do you know it’s said that some trees live hundreds of years?”

“I never thought about it. I’ve been too busy staying alive to worry about trees.” He ran his fingers over the rough bark. “But I, too, believe that it’s important for life to go on. Perhaps there is even life after death.”

She remembered what he had said about his father sending him from Scotland to preserve their family line. “But God assures us this is so. Do you doubt that if we are good, we go to heaven?”

“But what is good? The Pope says that it’s good to slay, if it’s done in the name of the Church.” He thoughtfully stroked the trunk. “If that’s true, then I must be the most Christian of men, for I slew more than any of my brothers when I was in the order.” He moved his shoulders as if throwing off a burden. “Listen to me. I sound like Kadar. He’s always questioning even when there are no answers.”

“A terrible fault,” she murmured sarcastically. “May heaven forbid you stop and think before striking out.”

“I haven’t struck out at you.” He quickly amended, “After our first meeting.”

She lifted her brows. “Once is enough.”

“The fault was entirely your own. I didn’t want to hurt you. You wouldn’t listen to me.” He waved an impatient hand. “Anyway, that’s in the past. Why do you dwell on it?”