Lingus
Authors: Mariana Zapata
Lingus
By Mariana Zapata
Copyright © 2012 by Mariana Zapata
ISBN: 9781620951903
Lingus is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, business establishments or locales is entirely coincidental. This author holds all rights to this work. It is illegal to reproduce this novel without written expressed consent from the author herself.
Contents
Chapter 1
"I don't want to go in there," I snapped, trying to dig my heel into the concrete floor beneath me.
"You can't back out now!" Nicole, my best friend, hissed. She wrapped her fingers around my elbow and pulled me in the direction of the glass doors ahead of us. "Come on, bitch!"
This was a horrible idea. I had known it from the moment she brought it up, more than two months ago. When she mentioned coming to the convention, she had winked a sneaky eye at me and said, "We're going to the convention and you're
cumming
! Get it?" Yes, I did get it. Un-fucking-fortunately. Now there we were, right outside the convention hall with our passes around our necks, and I wanted to vomit and die, in no specific order.
"Nikki, I really don't want to go in there. Please," I begged.
She just rolled her eyes and sighed in annoyance. "I don't give a shit. I got you a pass and we're going in. Do you know how hard it was to snag these bad boys?" she asked, pointing at the laminates around each of our necks. "It was a bitch. So, you and I are gonna go in there whether you want to or not."
My eyes immediately went left to right, watching the varied groups of people milling around the outside. There were men and women of every age, few dressed in casual jeans and t-shirts, others not so much. Tiny skirts, platform heels, leather pants, and lingerie were also staples in the fashion that the people wore. I sucked in a breath and tried to ignore the bursting heat that I was sure was swallowing my cheeks whole. No one seemed to be paying any attention to us; we were both dressed pretty conservatively compared to the other people here.
For once, I felt out of place with my clothes. My skinny jeans, blue blouse, and flats seemed so out of place here I felt like I was starring in
Alice in Wonderland.
"Nikki..." I whined like a little kid.
"Shut up. You'll thank me for this later," she huffed and pulled at my elbow again.
I knew there was no point fighting with her. Nicole Jonasson always got her way. Always. It was one of the things that I loved most about her; she was fearless and strong. Despite her current attitude and shit-talking, Nikki was one of the nicest people on the face of the planet. You just had to get to know her. When I met her for the first time in English Lit, she had just finished tearing a guy a new asshole for not holding the door open for a handicapped student in our class. She was tall, sandy-haired, hazel-eyed, and just absolutely kick-ass.
I fell in love with her after she looked at the student, with violence in her eyes, and muttered a frustrated, "I'm going to break into your room when you're sleeping at night and take a shit on your face if you ever forget to hold the door open for another person again." Needless to say, we ran into him a few years later and caught him holding the door open for at least a good minute for the person trailing behind him.
She was everything I wanted to be in life— strong and confident. There was nothing that Nicole, or Nikki as I usually called her, couldn't overcome.
Including me.
"Oh my God," I moaned as she pulled me behind her through the glass doors.
The two security guards at the doors checked our credentials before allowing us into the convention. A huge picture of a pretty redhead with jizz all over her face hung by the entrance, and I tried my best not to balk at her look of feigned pleasure. A big goop of it was stuck to her eyelashes, and I couldn't help but wonder to myself how much her eye stung after that.
"C'mon, Kat," Nicole called after me, making a beeline for the first booth right off to the entrance to the exhibit hall.
I slowly walked after her, eyeing the really random people that were walking all over the place, crowding over and into booths like kids in a candy store. Well, I guess this was like a large candy or toy store— for adults. Ha.
"Kat! Look at this!" my best friend squealed, turning around, holding a huge glass dildo in her hand.
Oh my God. How did I ever let her drag me to a fucking porn convention?
Chapter 2
Nicole's warm, hazel eyes narrowed at the appalled look I was sure covered my face. I couldn't help it, I swear. I liked dildos. They'd become some of my best friends over the last, let's say, three years, but who was counting? The idea of having everyone and their mamas know I liked them, though, kind of creeped me out.
Okay, well, it creeped me out a lot.
Nikki returned the massive, glass artifact to its place on the table. She was right in front of me, her pretty face pinched into a scowl. "Kat? You better wipe that look off your damn face before I slap it off."
My back stiffened instantly. The thing about Nicole was that she didn't make empty threats. If she said she'd run over your dog if it took a shit on her yard, she would. I wasn't kidding, and she loved dogs. She also
loved
me. So, I knew she'd slap me in the face.
"Fine," I grumbled, looking down at the floor like a scolded child. "I just feel so awkward..."
"Katherine Berger?" She grabbed my chin and pushed my face up to look her in the eye. "Repeat after me: My name is Kat Berger, and I love porn. There is nothing wrong with enjoying watching two people fuck."
"My name is Kat Berger," I groaned out, clenching my teeth after every syllable. "I like porn. There is nothing wrong with enjoying watching two people fuck."
Nicole dropped my chin and gave me one of her huge, perfect smiles. "Good job, baby. Now let's have some fun!" she cheered and dragged me back to the table where she'd been standing seconds ago.
I felt like everyone was looking at us, but really no one was paying attention to me and Goldilocks right next to me. My nerves were getting the best of me, and my hands were sweating like crazy, so I'm sure my armpits weren't too far behind. God, I felt like an idiot here. Nicole cleared her throat in a way I recognized as a warning for me to snap out of it before she slapped me out of my funk.
A nice looking, older man was standing behind the table, his arms behind his back and a big smile plastered on his face, while Nikki picked up pretty much every goddamn dildo in her hand and examined it right in front of her face like she does when we're buying fruit. She was asking him things like, "Would it be okay if I froze it? How long will it last? Do I need to use any specific cleaning product for it?" This bitch was even crazier than I thought. I swear my vagina clenched at the thought of sticking something frozen in it. Part of me hoped the man would tell her that she could use Windex on it, but he didn't.
"You might as well put it in your mouth," I snickered when she held a pretty clear one with a nice pink swirl an inch away from her face, inspecting the design.
Nicole snorted in amusement and put it back down, telling the nice man that she'd be back later on. Her arm was slung through mine as we made our way down the first row of booths. There were so many people here that I didn't know what to think. I wasn't really sure what I was expecting from the porn convention, but so far all the bystanders seemed like your average Joes. I even spotted a few Crocs along the way and shuddered, remembering that my doctor wore Crocs and I would really, really hate to see him here.
"Nikki, what should I do if I see someone I know?" I asked.
I knew I shouldn't care what people thought. I usually didn't, but there was something about the idea of being caught at a porn convention by, let's say, my neighbor, my mom's friend, my mailman, my boss, or just about freaking anyone I knew, that made me feel uber uncomfortable. Nicole and I had this discussion at least once every six months. We blamed society for making sex seem so dirty and wrong.
There was nothing wrong with sex. There was nothing wrong with masturbation, blow jobs, anal, or whatever. There was nothing wrong with anything sex related, honestly, besides bestiality, which I refused to even think about. But I was still embarrassed to be seen here and that made me feel shitty. I wanted to feel secure and nonchalant like Nicole did.
"Well, there is something you could do. It's called, get this, saying hi. Have you heard of that before?"
I just laughed at her as we paused in front of another booth with a wide assortment of glittery, jelly-looking toys, and I knew I let out a tiny squeal of excitement. I looked from one side to the other to make sure my kindergarten teacher wasn't standing
right
there
before leaning over the table to inspect the treasures laid out on the blue velvet.
After the saleswoman, another nice looking middle aged lady in an "I heart NY" t-shirt and denim shorts, showed me a particularly fantastic looking red hummingbird and sold me on its finer attributes, my wallet was thirty dollars lighter. Luckily, I came prepared and stashed my new little friend in my gigantic purse while Nikki laughed and started shoveling out her own thirty dollars.
