Lingering Touch: The Summer Park Psychics, Book 3 (9 page)

Finn had been uncomfortable from the beginning. When she explained the evening she had planned, he pounded on the glass partition hard enough she was afraid it would break. The driver opened it to see what he needed, and Finn demanded they pull over.

He hit the curb the moment the limo came to a stop.

She tried to talk to him afterward, and he told her he was done. She remembered the moment with crystalline clarity.

“I want to really
be
with you. To start a life with you. Not this sneaking-around crap. I used to work divorce cases. This isn’t a relationship—it’s an affair. I won’t be ‘the other man’. That isn’t what I want for us. If you’re not all-in, I’m out.”

But she
couldn’t
be all-in. Not with anyone. Beyond the supernatural obstacles, it wasn’t what she wanted, what she was meant for. It just wasn’t who she was. She didn’t want to treat their relationship like an affair, but the alternative…

If he had asked again to tell their friends, she might have considered it. If he wanted to go out that badly, she would have managed. But what he was asking… It was something she couldn’t give.

Would it have been so bad to marry him?

She felt like she had asked herself that question a thousand times since he left. Along with wishing they had talked about the entire situation more. She thought they would have more time—like she always did right before Fate took someone from her.

If he really needed the traditional lifestyle, they could have adopted some kids, picked up a dog somewhere, bought a house in the suburbs…and lived a lie. Had children she loved but would never connect to the way a mother should.

She didn’t want to be a mother or a wife. She just wanted to be
Jazz
.

Apparently, that wasn’t enough for him.

Chapter Twelve

“This is the turn.”

Finn pointed at the exit. A rusted sign with a few bullet holes read
Clearview
.

Jazz didn’t say anything. Just turned the SUV and headed to the town. She hadn’t said anything since he’d brought up how their relationship ended.

Great idea there. Really good form.

He knew he was still raw over it. He didn’t expect her to be after so many years.

Isn’t it right that she’s suffering as I am?

Wait… What?

No. Absolutely not. Finn didn’t want her to suffer. He didn’t want either of them to. He would honestly have been glad to find that she’d moved on and was happily having a purely physical relationship with someone else.

Okay, maybe not
glad
. But it would have helped him move on to see that he was right all along about what she was looking for from him. Knowing she was still upset about the breakup made him question things.

Including his decision to end their relationship in the first place.

If he was being honest with himself, they hadn’t only clicked in the bedroom. She had been part of his family. She and his dad got on so well, sometimes Finn wondered if Dad liked her better than him. Finn used to tease them both about it all the time.

Finn and Jazz would have been great together—if she’d let them actually make a life together instead of hiding their relationship. He knew Jazz hadn’t been involved with anyone else, but it still drove him crazy that she acted like Finn was
the other man.

After the initial phase of pretty much constant sex, he’d spent all his energy trying to get them out of the damned house. When they should have been talking about what they wanted out of their relationship and where they were headed, he was busy trying to understand why she wouldn’t let their friends know they were involved.

It seemed a necessary first step before getting into the heavier conversations, like kids and marriage—and why Finn wasn’t interested in either. That didn’t mean he didn’t want a long-term commitment from her. It didn’t mean he didn’t love her.

She had kept herself so guarded. Never once—not a single time—had she ever told Finn she loved him. Even after he said it. She just sat up in the bed and walked away. Said she wasn’t comfortable talking about feelings.

He might have jumped the gun, telling her how he felt after only a month, but he’d thought they were on the same page. He hadn’t brought it up again. He hadn’t had a chance to.

Now she was back in his life and it was messing with his head. He was losing his focus. Not that he’d had much of that lately, either. At least she’d be there to pull him out if he became trapped in a memory again.

“Where are we heading?” Her question snapped him out of his spiraling thoughts, thankfully.

“Let’s take a pass through town. See what’s off the main strip.”

“We’re going to be conspicuous. All I’m seeing are old trucks and rusted-out compacts.” She smiled at him briefly. “Maybe we
should
have gone back to Summer Park to pick up your car.”

He bristled. “I junked it.”

“No way.”

“It might have fit in here, but I was sticking out like a sore thumb in Summer Park. I had to upgrade for stakeouts.”

Of course, he had bought his new car—topping out his budget—just a few months before Dad’s hospital stay. Dad insisted he keep it, and Finn couldn’t argue. It really was helping with stakeouts. He and his dad were doing okay so far with their savings and what the bar brought in, but Finn needed to get this squared away so he could get back to work.

“I liked that car,” Jazz said.

“Seriously?”

She shrugged and glanced over at him. “It had character.”

“That’s one word for it.”

Maybe the car was a happy reminder that she was above me.

What the fuck? Where were these thoughts coming from? He shifted in his seat, staring out the window at the few buildings they passed.

The thought was an unwelcome reminder of one of the main doubts that plagued him through their relationship. He had wondered the whole time they were together what Jazz saw in him. She was self-made, well off, and
owned
herself. Finn tended to fly off the handle. Jazz was always in control. What could she want with a private eye living above a bar with his dad?

Then he’d look in the mirror and remember.

Finn never had trouble getting a date before her and he doubted he’d find it challenging if he decided to put himself out there again. Jazz had made no secret of enjoying his body. She even made jokes that she could display him in the gallery if she didn’t want to keep him all to herself.

If she was only into him physically, how could he keep her interest over time? He wanted to grow old with her. He didn’t want to constantly be checking his physique, wondering if she was getting bored or looking to trade up. No matter what she said, her secretiveness kept reminding him of too many cases he’d worked.

Switching to investigating insurance fraud had helped him move away from seedy hotels and some truly disturbing moments gathering evidence that he wished he could forget. He was gaining a reputation with his new cases as someone who could crack seemingly impossible mysteries.

People had already started asking him what his secret was. He had to be careful.

If anybody figured out that he was using his powers to read objects—and people—involved in the cases… He’d lose all his business in a heartbeat. No one would believe what he did was real. He’d become a joke.

Dad disapproved of what he did. They weren’t supposed to use their powers to make money. Their gifts were meant to help people. That was what his granddad passed on when teaching Dad about his powers.

But Finn
did
help others with what he could do. He just also helped himself and his family.

“You’re walking a gray line, Finn.”
Dad always let Finn know when he was about to take on a case that would cross the line, no matter how big the payout. Finn was grateful. He’d been tempted a time or two, but his dad always kept him on track.

Now he had Jazz to help him.

They passed the last building, the scenery reverting to thick foliage crowding between palm trees and pines. Damn, Clearview was tiny. Most of the buildings had busted-out windows and peeling paint.

“That was one shitty town,” Jazz said.

He couldn’t disagree. People were struggling here. He could feel it.

“I saw a bar that wasn’t boarded up,” he said. “That’s our best bet.”

“Let’s hope Michael’s cousin is a drinker then.”

From what Finn had seen, he wouldn’t doubt it. Not much of an eater, though. That nickname Michael kept using was just cruel. Finn almost felt sorry for the guy.

Almost.

She turned the SUV around using a side street, then headed back the way they had come. The parking lot for the bar had tons of potholes filled with sand and gravel. The SUV bounced as if they were driving off-road.

“Pull around so you’re facing the street.” He scanned the area, looking for the best place to park. “There. Park there. If we need to, we’ll be able to get out fast and it’d take several trucks to block us in.”

She raised her eyebrows and glanced at him, but did as he said. “You get to think about fun stuff in your line of work.”

He shrugged. “Things happen. I don’t like repeating mistakes.”

Like being with you.

What the fuck. He was seriously about to reach into his head and punch his brain. The lack of sleep must be getting to him more than he thought. Or the nightmares.

The most recent one… It was different. He suppressed a shudder.

Dreaming from his sister’s perspective made a lot of sense now that he knew their relationship. He’d researched psychic powers enough to know about the twin bond. Even non-psychic twins had heightened connections.

Experiencing what happened to her was horrible, but he understood it. What he didn’t understand was the dream on the way to Clearview—the nightmare from
Michael’s
point of view.

Finn had seen Siobhan’s memories so many times. Maybe his brain had decided to mix things up a bit. It was sure doing its own thing with the extremely unwelcome thoughts that kept popping into his head.

Yeah, he was bitter. But when had he become an asshole?

“Are we going to go in or just sit in the parking lot all day?”

He didn’t bother responding. Just scowled at her and opened the door. She fell in step beside him, keys in hand.

“Wait.” Finn grabbed her arm before she could lock the doors. God, he missed touching her.

She stared into his face. Didn’t ask. Didn’t say anything. Just waited for him to make a move.

He cleared his throat. “I don’t want them to hear the car arming itself and look out the window. We need to keep a low profile.”

She nodded. “I can lock it without it making a sound.”

He felt the muscles in her arm shift as she pressed the button to lock the door. He couldn’t bring himself to let go of her, even while she put the keys in her pocket.

He wanted to kiss her again. That was a bad idea. Whether she went along with it or not, he was certain the results would gather attention. He finally let go of her and turned back to the bar.

Trees lined the parking lot. There were too many places people could be hiding and watching them. He headed for the bar at a brisk pace. At the door, Jazz ducked ahead of him and opened it so he didn’t have to touch the handle.

“Thanks.”

She actually smiled at him. “No problem.”

The bar was busier than Finn expected. The smell of grease and eggs explained that. It was quite possible that they were in the only restaurant in town, unless there were others tucked away down a side street. A wiry woman stood behind the bar, wiping the counter. She was maybe in her late thirties and looked pissed as hell.

Tread carefully, Finn.

He walked to the bar, making sure Jazz stayed close as he kept track of the patrons. A table of four guys with full plates. They’d be busy for a while. The pitcher at their table was full of beer instead of orange juice, though. That was an early start and a bad sign, especially since their glasses were still half-full from a previous pitcher.

Two other tables had guys sitting at them, but they were solo and focused on their food. Finn wasn’t as concerned about them. Numbers gave people false courage. Drinking would make matters worse.

He turned his attention back to the bartender. Flirting was out. He didn’t need his powers to detect the “do not fuck with me” mojo she was putting off. He’d need to be direct, but not give too much away.

This will be fun.

Finally, something he and his brain could agree on. Unless he wasn’t being sarcastic…while he was thinking to himself.

I’m worse off than I thought
.

He brought his mind back to task and smiled as the woman made eye contact. He waited to speak until they were close and he could keep his voice down while being heard.

“Good morning.”

She nodded. “Morning.”

The rag on her shoulder had what looked like raw egg yolk on it. She was probably also the cook. He kept that in mind while figuring out how to get information from her. Using his powers to read her mind was out. He was pretty sure she’d cut off his hand if he tried to touch her.

At the very least.

Shut up, brain.

He sat on a stool, careful not to touch the counter. “Could we get two plates of eggs and toast with some orange juice?”

“Just some bottled water for me.” Jazz was glancing around with a grimace on her face. She looked revolted—like she didn’t want to touch anything herself.

The bartender snorted. “I can pour some from the tap into an empty. That work for you?”

Finn was sure Jazz was about to say something impolite in response. He reached over and touched her arm, giving her a pointed look. She seemed to get the message. He turned back to the bartender and smiled.

“Orange juice is fine,” Jazz said.

“I’ll have it right out.”

As soon as the bartender left Finn whispered, “What the hell was that?”

Jazz stood near the bar, but didn’t sit. “What do you mean? You’re going to get rabies eating the food here.”

“Come on.”

She leaned closer and pointed to the door that led to the kitchen. A possum was hanging right above it. It didn’t move as he stared at it. After a moment, he realized it was stuffed.

Great décor…

“At least it’s not going anywhere,” she murmured, crossing her arms.

“I don’t plan to eat anything.” Especially after seeing that. It would be a while before his appetite returned. “I just wanted to buy something so that I can overpay when I ask my questions.”

“Oh. So that’s how you do it.”

“Would you please sit down?”

“No thanks.” Jazz eyed the barstool. “I’m having enough trouble thinking of you sitting in my SUV in those pants.”

She shifted closer, scanning the room. Her arm brushed his shoulder.

“I could always take them off first.”

Dammit, he couldn’t keep himself from flirting with her, even now. Especially now, with her standing close, being there for him when he needed her. She had dropped everything to help him. He only just realized that.

She smiled at him and he felt it reflected on his face. He had forgotten that smile. How could he have forgotten it? It made him feel like he was the center of her universe. Her eyes softened, her lips parted, and…

He was already leaning in when she snapped out of it and pulled away. Damn good thing one of them was keeping a level head.

“Sorry,” he said.

“Forget it.”

She crossed her arms and looked at the bottles lining the shelves in front of them. Most were fairly empty.

The bartender returned and set two plates with wet eggs and burned toast in front of them. There was nothing floating in the orange juice, but Finn didn’t actually want to chance it.

He pulled four twenties from his wallet and set them on the counter. “Thanks.”