Linda Goodman's Sun Signs (5 page)

There are no subtle tricks in the Aries nature. It's not at all hard to recognize when a Mars man is finished with a relationship. The ice and boredom in his voice and manner will be unmistakable, and will usually be accompanied by a frank statement that makes it crystal clear. On the other hand, an explosive flame of scorching anger is less serious, signifying that his displeasure is probably just a passing mood, and the romance can be saved. You have more reason to fear his ice than his fire.

Aries males don't like games. He'll be direct in all his approaches. And that means in romance, as well as in business. He won't waste a second, once the love has been recognized, but be sure to let him be the one to recognize it. Don't chase him, phone him frequently, get starry-eyed or declare your feelings until you're absolutely sure the passion is mutual. The quickest way to lose him is to make the first advance. He must be the leader here, as elsewhere. If you don't allow him to be, he can lose interest so fast it can astonish you and crush you at the same time. Once you're each firmly committed, however, don't be too cool and casual, or he'll seek attention somewhere else. Love with an Aries man is like walking a tightrope between warm interest and aloof detachment. You practically have to be a trapeze artist. Don't run after him. Don't run away from him, either. Stick a penny in your shoe, carry a four-leaf clover and wish on a star. That will get you as far as any normal, methodical strategy. Maybe farther. You have to keep him guessing, even after you're his. At the same time, he needs the assurance that your love is always there. Learn to live with it—or learn to live without an Aries.

On the plus side, although your Aries lover will insist on being first in the relationship, he'll also be the first to say he's sorry after a quarrel, and the first to be there when you need him. He'll be right by your side when you're ill or unhappy. He'll spend money on you freely and willingly (if he's a typical son of Mars). He'll compliment your appearance, appreciate your talents and be a stimulating mental companion. Although he can be bossy and lose his temper over a trifle, he'll seldom let the sun go down on his anger before making up. You may be the most important thing in his life, but he'll expect you to know that, and wait for affection and attention when he's all excited by some new idea which is consuming his interest. He wants to be your whole world, but unlike other men, he'll let you share his world, if you're his equal.

The Aries male will expect his lady fair to be ultra-feminine and a tomboy at the same time. He wants you to be completely independent, yet willing to stay a few paces behind him. He'll expect you to praise him and be devoted to him, but never play the role of humble slave. Are you still with me? Good. Brave woman. There's more to come. He's capable of saying bitterly cruel and sarcastic things to you when his ego has been wounded, things he won't mean at all, but which may break your heart if you don't understand him. Then he'll expect you to forgive and forget as readily as he does. You'll have to like all his friends, while he reserves the right to be bored by yours. Well, you wanted a man, didn't you? You've sure got one in your Aries mate. If you're a real woman, your love affair can be the envy of everyone in town, just like Romeo and Juliet (without the tragedy, of course).

Once you've married him, the Aries male will dominate the home or leave it. He won't stand for being nagged in public or private, especially about how he spends his lettuce. He earned it, didn't he? It's
his
money, isn't it? (Sometimes that possessive pronoun can stretch to include the money you earn, too.) He may not balance the budget too well—and I'm being kind to put it so tactfully—but don't take it over yourself, even if you made straight A's in math. Never question his financial affairs. It's essential that he control the purse-strings all the way. He'll be generous with his cash, if he's a typical Arien, and give you whatever you need. You can have that cobra skin handbag after he's bought that alligator brief case, if there's anything left over. (He may be a little selfish, but he's never stingy.)

Though the ram may change jobs frequently until he becomes his own boss, he won't let you starve. He'll find a way to keep the dollars flowing in, even though they may flow out again just as fast. Better save a few quarters in the blue china pig and surprise him with it when he needs it most, because he's not likely to salt away much of his earnings himself (unless he has a hidden asset, like the Moon in Capricorn or Cancer, or an ascendant which dictates economy).

Each new baby will find him behaving like the devoted, proud papa of your dreams. Later, he may be a little bossy with the children, and try to dictate their careers. He'll be a warm and wonderfully fun daddy, but he might have to be reminded that the youngsters need independence as much as he does. Fatherhood is definitely a role he'll enjoy. Baseball, talks about the birds and bees, football, father-daughter dinners, the whole works. Just don't let him think little Zach or Zoe is more important to you than he is, however, or his enjoyment of the role may cool considerably.

Go ahead and continue your career after marriage if you like. He probably won't resent it, as long as you don't outshine him. It's easier for him to forgive microwave dinners or having to eat leftovers than to forgive your lack of faith in his ideas. That's important to remember.

Encourage his independence, but try to curb his impulsiveness—tactfully. He must lead or life is worth little to him. His great and bubbly enthusiasm can die a sad death if you douse it with wet blankets or short circuit his positive energy with negative thinking. The minute he loses authority on the job or in the home, his refreshing optimism will turn to moody discontent and finally, complete disinterest. It's not his nature to submit. He's a man's man. Never destroy his masculinity, but never lose your own individuality. Don't try to push him around, and don't let him push you around. An Aries husband won't put up with a wife who runs around to book clubs and meetings every night. Neither will he tolerate a wife who sits home and knits scarves and sweaters all day. You'll have to aim somewhere in the middle. If you're successful, just think—you'll be the only white-haired Juliet in your crowd someday, with a husband who's still sentimental on your golden wedding anniversary. That's quite a challenge if you're a romantic, and of course you are, or you wouldn't be involved with an Aries man in the first place.

So you're in love with an Aries woman. I don't know whether to congratulate you or sympathize with you.

When Byron wrote that “Man's love is of man's life a thing apart; ‘tis woman's whole existence,” he forgot about the Aries woman. She may think love is her whole existence, but she's too vitally absorbed in the world around her, not to mention in herself, for it to be the beginning and end of her life. She can get along without a man easier than any female you'll ever meet.

Of course, getting along without a man is not the same thing as getting along without romance. She'll always need that hero of her dreams to yearn for in her heart. He may be long ago and faraway—or hiding just out of sight and touch, somewhere in tomorrow's mists—but she'll think about him in an April rain. He'll haunt her when the first snow falls, when she hears a certain song or sees lightning flash. However, while she's yearning, if there's no male around in actual physical presence, she won't miss him terribly. Anything he could do, she can do better—she thinks.

The Aries female will open her own doors. She'll also put on her own coat, fight her own battles, pull out her own chair, hail her taxi and light her cigarette without any masculine help. Doing it herself is, to her, the fastest way to get it done. Naturally, this doesn't set too well on the vulnerable male ego. The Mars female is determined to take the lead, to be the first to move to action, and that includes the action of making the first advance in romance. Aries females are the most likely of all the Sun signs to do the proposing, especially if the man is slow about naming the date. And that's about as early as you can safely show your feelings—when she proposes. Before that you're taking a chance. Be very careful about moving in on an Aries girl. She wants to be the leader in the love affair. Better be sure you have her heart safely in your pocket before you try to grab her around the waist and kiss her goodnight. Otherwise, she may give you a sharp right hook to the jaw and run like a frightened deer.

Don't be misled. The reason for her running isn't maidenly modesty. She's not afraid of your passionate intentions. Those she can handle. Her flight is based on the fear of getting tangled up with a worshiping slave or a love-struck puppy dog, either one of whom would bore her to tears. Be casual, keep her guessing, and the chances are she'll chase you into a corner instead.

A man who resists her impact always intrigues an Aries female. She can't understand why she isn't overwhelming him with her obvious charms. Then her Mars ego will leave no stone unturned to prove she's desirable, even when she has no lasting interest in him.

Scarlett O'Hara is the very epitome of the Mars-ruled Aries female. Like Scarlett, the Aries woman will gather every available male for a hundred miles around to her feet, while her willful heart yearns for the one man she can't have for one reason or another. Like Scarlett, the Mars woman can quickly adapt for survival if necessary, without whimpering. Both the O'Hara and the Aries characters are tough enough to defy convention, face an advancing army, or even shoot a man through the head with icy calmness, if he threatens her loved ones.

Never was Scarlett more Mars-like than when she was starving, alone and friendless, and without waiting for a man to come to the rescue, she clenched her fist toward heaven and shouted, “I'll survive this … and when I do, I'll never be hungry again … If I have to lie, cheat, steal or kill—as God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!” Much later, her emotions shattered, her beloved child dead and the one man she loved about to walk out of her life, this typical Aries woman was still able to say, “I'll think of some way to get him back. There's never been a man I couldn't get, once I set my mind on him… After all, tomorrow is another day.”

Yes, Scarlett O'Hara creates a vivid image of the first Sun sign of the zodiac, with all the Mars strength and ability to bounce back after tragedy; able to play the female role to the hilt, with fluttering lashes and a well-timed tear, but just as able to take over a man's job when the men aren't around. A careful study of Scarlett's character can give you an excellent understanding of what you're in for with an Aries woman—and naturally, also the rewards you can look forward to after you've been brave enough to claim her. Her aggressive drive may be hard to take, but her shining optimism and faith in tomorrow can be mighty uplifting.

The Aries female is rather a pushover for flattery, if it has an honest base. Let her know you admire her, but don't be too flowery or sugary about it. Her loyalty in love is gigantic, as long as you keep the sentiment alive, for she is deeply sentimental. There's the typical Arien contradiction in her: she doesn't want to be obviously chased, yet she quickly loses interest if you're too detached. She doesn't want a completely domineering male, but neither will she warm up to a man who sits adoringly at her feet. Before love can bring her happiness, the Aries woman must meet the eternal Mars challenge—her strong desire to control the lover, conflicting with her secret wish to be controlled
by him.
Unbelievably idealistic, sometimes she searches in vain for that brave knight in shining armor, who will sweep her off her feet, conquer the world, hand it to her gently and yet never sacrifice his manhood. Since he exists only in fairy tales and the myths of King Arthur's court, the Aries woman often walks alone, without a star to guide her. Her days are bright and full of excitement, her nights are sometimes dark and full of longing. Yet, when her defeated dreams become smoldering ashes—just as you think the flame is dying, Aries leaps up to build another fire.

She must be proud of you to love you. But don't be so important that you neglect to notice
her
talents and abilities. Though she'll demand a lot from you, she'll give double measure in return. A Mars female can be generous to a fault with her time and sympathy, cheerfully sharing her possessions and money, but when it comes to love, she's downright stingy. “What's hers is hers” in the romance department, and it will take very little to set off a jealous explosion. Don't admire your favorite movie actress in her hearing, or pay too many compliments to her girlfriends. The man with an Aries wife is safer with a male secretary. If she's not first with you in every way, you'll soon wonder where all the intense passion and thrilling emotion went so fast. When the Aries woman has been really hurt, she turns from fire to ice. Her fire burns hot and dies quickly. Her ice can be eternal. Memorize that, if you care deeply about her—and it's doubtful that she'll stand for you caring about her any other way. Aries plays for keeps.

She puts the loved one on a pedestal, expecting him to live up to an impossible image of perfection, stubbornly refusing to look at his clay feet, until they become too muddy for even her to miss. Never criticize the lover, husband or children of an Aries woman unless you're wearing an asbestos suit. She's capable of being demanding, selfish, and making cutting remarks when you dampen her hopeful plans. Yet, she can also be gentle, devoted and cooperative when she's met halfway.