Lincoln County Series 1-3 (19 page)

Upon seeing the look of confusion and possibly hurt on his countenance, she realized she might have been out of line. The blow of what had just happened hit her—she could not fight for a friendship with Jake. It would be inappropriate. They must think her naïve. Still, the knowledge broke her spirit. Genuinely she loved Andrew, never thought she could love anybody so much. Yet she cared deeply for Jake. There was something about him and she knew he was to be in their lives somehow, for some reason—but with this muddled situation going on, she couldn’t grasp it.

Andrew sighed with what she imagined as relief when she took the crook of his arm and ushered him into the restaurant. As she did, fear settled within her core that she needed to prove her love to him. She refused to be the cause of anyone’s pain.

Although she’d planned on biding more time, it was crucial that she tell him her secret. Tonight.

*** *** ***

After the evening was over, across town and fields away, Cameron climbed into bed beside her husband. She positioned herself to her side, facing him, and could tell by his heavy breathing he’d already fallen asleep.

Carefully, she caressed his cheek. “Andrew.”

He mumbled, though his eyes remained closed.

With a smile and light breath on his face she whispered, “You’re going to be a good father.”

“Someday.” He stirred slightly, rolling away.

She paused, grinning with joy until it settled with him.

Miraculously he became alert and awake, blinking fiercely.

“Really?”

She nodded fervently. “It’s true.”

He sat up in bed, pulling her to him and kissing her long and hard. His palms grasped her cheeks.

“God is good, Cameron Jackson.”

To know she was able to bring happiness to Andrew brought reprieve. But the nagging feeling she’d let him down someday was still resident within and she did not know how to make it vacate and leave her alone.

Chapter Five

The New Year was passing Lincoln County uneventfully. Winter had not been harsh, adding worry, apprehension and misgivings to what would be in store for the town. Nothing ever remained sedate or at peace for long. Few families risked traveling in the snow, even if it did look blissful and pleasant. Not many dared challenge the deceptive calm—not in Kansas. Except for church it seemed. Andrew assured Cameron that folks would travel for a Sunday meeting, so she spent her beginning moments in the building going over hymns that would be sung. She was surprised at the many families who arrived, despite the town’s long-time suspicion of the weather. She glanced at the entrance of the church where Andrew was greeting the town’s new doctor. Dr. Grover had taken the place of Doc Colvin during their trip back East. Cameron wasn’t convinced she liked him quite yet. Of course Doc Colvin deserved to retire, but selfishly, she’d wanted him to be looking after her and the baby.

Dutifully, she made her way next to Andrew as he’d beckoned her. She sighed and raised a smile to Dr. Grover. “Thank you for joining us today.”

He took her hand, which she did not offer, to his lips. “Mrs. Jackson, so good to see you. I wouldn’t miss a church meeting for the world.”

Feeling ornery she asked, “Perhaps you would if someone were dying, or having a baby? Surely, God would understand your absence.”

He looked bewildered a moment before seeking her husband out and graciously making light of her jest. “Reverend, you’ve a spitfire of a wife. I should be so lucky to acquire one myself someday.”

“Yes. She is at that.” Andrew ground out.

When the doctor took his seat in a pew, her husband raised an eyebrow.

“I’ve another hymn to select for Mary. She’s already at the organ awaiting.”

On the way back to Mary, Cameron repented for her lack of Christian hospitality—sure God would want her heart in order before she worshipped. She only wished she knew what had gotten into her.

The moment the last parishioner departed, Cameron waited impatiently for Andrew to lock up and help her into the buggy. Since they were already out and about, they were going to town!

Once in the buggy, she scooted close to him, remorse began to fill her for not representing him well, but he did not refer to it. So neither did she.

“I’m going to the mercantile.” Andrew pulled the buggy in front of Lacey’s Place. “Go on now, I know you’re aching to tell her.”

Cameron smacked a loud kiss on his cold cheek and allowed him to remove her from the seat. “Thank you!”

He smiled wide. “Anything for you.”

She made her way into the hotel, and when she did not find Lacey on the main floor, she took the stairs and found her in the bedroom.

Lacey was going through letters and she joined her atop the bed.

“You have customers in the restaurant. Why aren’t you downstairs?”

“Patsy is handling it.”

“Oh… I didn’t see her.”

She couldn’t shake the feeling of a rift between them, although she had no idea what it could be. She would need to fish around until Lacey shared what was bothering her. “I wish traveling were easier. I would come more often if that were the case. Andrew does not like me to come to town without him.”

Lacey’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Andrew. “You can’t come to town without him?”

“He would worry. He’s not convinced it’s safe for me to travel alone and there could be a snowstorm any moment.”

“As if I don’t know that,” she snapped.

“All right…” She sighed. “Tell me what I’ve done.”

Lacey threw it right at her. “Have you seen Jake lately?”

She weighed her response. Could she trust Lacey with her most private thoughts? She believed so but getting it out was proving difficult. To say the words out loud could cast her in a negative light.

Gently she answered, “I’ve not seen him but the one time.”

“He’s a bounty hunter of all things! I fear for his life.”

Did she blame her? Did he?

“I know.”

“There’s nothing I can do about it. Our friendship isn’t the same as it once was.”

Every word Lacey spoke held accusation. Indeed, she did blame her.

“I want nothing more than for all four of us to be friends again. You’ve got to know that.” Cameron finally broke down, covering her face between her hands. “I don’t know what to do,” she cried.

At once, Lacey softened. “I shouldn’t say those things. It’s not your fault.”

“But it is my fault. I’ve ruined everything!”

“Shush! You can’t speak like that. If you do, it sounds as though Andrew isn’t worth it. Surely that is not the case?” Lacey prodded.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean… I mean, why can’t I have it both ways?”

“Because you chose. You can’t have Jake in your life anymore, not the way you want him to be, not even as a friend. The line has already been crossed, there is no pretending it wasn’t.”

She sniffled. “I was a fool to think so wasn’t I?”

“No, you were hopeful. There’s a difference.”

“And you are upset with me.”

Lacey relented and offered a handkerchief. “I’m not. I spoke out of sadness, but I’m no longer upset. In fact, I’m pleased that you married my cousin.”

Cameron accepted Lacey’s comforting words and wiped away tears. Despite Lacey’s assurance, she knew she’d made a mess of things, but she wouldn’t trade her decision to be Andrew’s wife, not for anything.

She remembered why she came. “I am here to tell you something.”

“Well, do tell!”

“We’re having a baby come summer.”

“
We’re
having a baby?”

Cameron laughed. “Yes, we are. All three of us.”

“We need to celebrate!”

“We cannot make a party out of this announcement—everyone has babies.”

Lacey locked her hands in front of her chest in excitement, waiting for her to agree.

Cameron knew she could not dissuade her. Lacey would do what she wanted to anyway, and maybe this would be an opportune time to put things behind them. “I will help.”

“Splendid! We’re going to have a winter dance!”

*** *** ***

Like a coward, Jake ducked into the alley by the bank. He was about to get himself a meal at Lacey’s when he saw Andrew assist his
wife
into their buggy. He couldn’t avoid them forever but he deserved a meal now and then, blast it! He watched Cameron’s head go back slightly, pleasantly greeting her husband. What a sight. Only when they were out of his view, did he make his way to the hotel. He pulled up his collar against the cold just as snowflakes began to alight on the ground.

Lacey greeted him and he could swear she looked nervous, knowing the Jacksons just left her place. Or was it relief that he’d missed them? He stomped snow from his boots, deciding best not to question her emotions either way. “It’s not going to be good traveling out there after long,” he said with a shiver. “I’m afraid I could be stuck here for the night.”

“I have one room left.”

“Sign me up for it,” he ordered and headed for an open gambling table, wading through strong smells of smoke and cheap perfume. Lacey followed and plopped herself down in the chair recently vacated by a cowhand. And Lacey, darn it all, had an unfortunate tendency to ramble on when alcohol loosened her tongue. So when she announced that the Jacksons were expecting a child, he was gripped with something unspeakable—jealousy.

She giggled at her blunder before shifting an anxious gaze towards him, catching her mistake.

He lifted his glass as a toast. “I’ll have to congratulate them when I see them.”

She looked downcast. “I… uhhh.”

“Leave it alone.”

He was intent on not being a sulking, lovesick, picked over lover and Lacey was going to make him look that way if she didn’t shut up about it. He’d already decided to be decent towards them, but just because he grew up with Andrew didn’t mean he had no need to dig deep down to find genuine support. It also didn’t help knowing he hadn’t fought for Cameron. That hurt the worst. He’d given up too easily, running off with his tail between his legs because he figured Andrew a better man. Be that as it may, he never gave himself the chance to be the better man. Now, it was simply too late.

Lacey continued on, ranting about having a party so everyone could be a family again. Wavering, she nearly fell out of the chair.

Jake swore. “You’ve had too much.” Effortlessly, he picked up her petite frame and carried her up the stairs to her room. After depositing her in bed, he was finally left to himself, as he’d wanted to be from the get go.

His only company—a fresh bottle of whiskey, which was all his own. As he toyed with the bottle in his grip, it dawned on him to wonder about this party Lacey had been jabbering on about.

Chapter Six

It turned out that folks in Lincoln County were correct to have their superstitions where Mother Nature was concerned. There was a snowstorm and it had whitened the plains of Kansas for several days. So at the first chance to escape the confines of home, Cameron begged Andrew to bring her to Lacey, who had enlisted her assistance the moment she entered the foyer.

“I’m so glad you could finally make it to town. We’ll make tonight your night!”

Cameron didn’t wish a fuss to be made over her. “You don’t need to go to all of this trouble. Let’s just have a pleasant little get together.”

“Nonsense, you’re having a baby and I am desperate for a celebration!”

Thinking Lacey’s reasoning was more for the latter, she gave in. It was clear Lacey needed the fellowship.

In between bouts of nausea and fatigue, Cameron helped with the preparations. The saloon, with Liam’s help, was turned into a dance hall. Somehow, Lacey rounded up party favors, guests, and a merry atmosphere. 

When Andrew returned, she instantly took note of his slight frown, knowing it was because she’d been tasked to work. She would console him before he caused uproar.

“I am fine, I’ve been enjoying myself and am more than able to do busy work. In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve been stuck inside for days!”

“I only ask that you take it easy, for our son.” He held her elbow, turning her fully towards him. He treated her as if she would break, barely allowing her to do anything beyond making meals. She’d scolded him numerous times.