Lily of the Valley in May (6 page)

Faith studied the cover she'd just finished and laughed. It was Joel. His image teased her, as it wasn't what she should have drawn at all. The spec called for a blonde cowboy, hat tipped on his forehead with a seductive smile, not a dark-haired man with a depth of sadness in his eyes. She'd give him that one when he came over for dinner that evening with Elliott. She and Grace decided that way both brothers would eat properly for once.

He took the picture when he arrived and smiled. “Thanks, I think.”

Elliott grinned. “Great likeness. Hey, if the writing ever dries up, you can make a living as a cowboy.”

Joel pulled a face. “Not that fond of cows, but thanks for the thought.” He tucked the picture into his jacket, then hung it in the hall. “Something smells good.”

“It should be,” Grace said, heading back to the kitchen. “Someone's been slaving over a hot stove all afternoon. And it wasn't me.”

Joel looked at Faith. “You cooked?”

She tilted her head. “Well, it was either me, Patches or the house elf. And as the elf is on strike and Patches is a rubbish cook, then yeah, it was me. Just hope it tastes as good as it smells.”

Dinner was spent lost in his eyes. She took in every move of his hands and angle of his head and the light in his eyes. She could tell Grace was amused by this, and spent a vast amount of time kicking her sister under the table to prevent her from commenting on it.

Grace returned the kicks with interest.

“That was wonderful. Thank you.” Joel grinned at Faith over the coffee. “Answer me something though. Do I have a rival for your attention?”

“A rival?” She looked at him curiously. Surely he didn't mean Grace and their game of footsy.

“There's a red car stalking you. It's parked outside your house again.”

“Not a rival; just a secret admirer who can't take no for an answer.” She laughed, trying to put him off the scent. Rick had arranged for a car to pass the house and park outside periodically. She'd agreed, and not just for her peace of mind or to shut Rick up.

If Damien found her, Grace was at risk, too. And she didn't want that. Any sign of trouble and she'd pack and leave, this time not asking for help or telling anyone. She'd just go.

Joel didn't drop it. “Would you like me to go outside and tell him you're spoken for?”

“And just who is this person who's speaking for me?”

“Well.” Joel paused, his eyes twinkling at her. “You're fun to be with, not to mention great company and a great cook. You've made one of the worst weeks of my life more bearable.”

Faith laughed. “For an author you're making a real hash of this.”

Joel reached out and took her hand. His fingers moved gently over it. “Maybe so but I really like being with you. I want to spend more time with you.”

She hesitated. He wasn't thinking straight, surely? He was grief stricken, his mind and his judgment clouded. The last thing she wanted was to play on that and make him think she was interested. She was, but this wasn't the time to forge a relationship, no matter how much her heart raced at his touch. It wouldn't be safe for either of them.

His eyes darkened for a moment. “Would you sit with me in church tomorrow?? Please.”

Faith smiled. “Sure.”

“Thank you.” Joel raised her hand and kissed her fingers.

Elliott flicked a grape across the table at him. “Go get a room.”

Joel looked at him, shock on his face. “Elliott. Such language from a church elder. How could you even suggest such a thing?”

Elliott smirked.

Faith shook her head and stood, picking up the dishes. “I'll go make the coffee.”

Grace followed her. “You have to tell him the truth,” she hissed in the kitchen. “You can't lead him on and promise him things you can't deliver.”

“I will, but let him at least bury his son first.” She paused. “And it's me taking the risk here, don't you think? Not him.”

~*~

Faith stood with Joel outside in the church, watching the pallbearers slide the small white coffin from the hearse. Bradley was only eight—so young, so innocent. She and Joel had talked a lot over the past few days. He seemed to be handling it better than she thought he would. But she'd never lost anyone that close—she'd never had a child—and couldn't begin to imagine how Joel felt. The past few days, despite the grief pouring from him, had been magical. She loved the way her body fitted his as he hugged her, the way his hair framed his face, and the depth of soul in his fathomless blue eyes. Guilt tinged her and her conscience berated her for thinking of him in such a way.

Grace stood with Elliott, her hand tightly in his. The tears in her eyes already spilling onto her cheeks.

Faith slid her hand into Joel's as Pastor Jack began speaking. The small procession entered the church and made its way up the aisle. A Headley Cross Wanderers football shirt lay on the top of the coffin, along with flowers, and an ARC of
Angus the Airship
. She glanced at Joel as they walked.

He looked awful, a shadow of his former self, He stood stoic, almost as if he believed the old adage ‘big boys don't cry'. Maybe not, but real men did and should. And she knew he did, but maybe this was his public persona and he had an image to keep up.

Lord, be close to Joel right now
.
Comfort him, uphold him, be all he needs to get through the service, today and in days to come.

The congregation sat and the service began. The hymns were all ones that Bradley loved. The reading was Bradley's favorite Bible story of Daniel in the lions den. Faith glanced at Joel, her prayers increasing, and her own eyes misting as she saw him finally crying. How much more could one man take? She squeezed his hand.

Joel stood and made his way to the small coffin. He stood there for a moment. “Bradley was the best thing that happened to me. Holding him…being with him…made a dark day light again. When he was a baby, the only song that would stop him crying and get him to sleep was ‘Amazing Grace.'”

He took a deep breath, starting to sing. “
A...amaz-ing... grace... how sw-sweet the s-sound, th-at s-s-saved... a-a wr...
” He broke off, his strong, baritone voice cracking with emotion. Tears started to run down his face, and he brushed them away. “
Th-that saved, a-a-a wr-retch lie-ike me. I-I once was lost...
” Overcome by grief, he stopped, unable to continue.

Faith looked at him. How much this meant was obvious. Standing up, she started to sing. “
I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see
.”

“T'was grace that taught my heart to fear...”

He looked up, his eyes meeting hers, as first Elliott and then the rest of the congregation stood with them and joined in singing unaccompanied. Emotion battled control on his face for a long moment. Then he took a deep breath and joined in singing.
“How precious did that grace appear…”

~*~

Joel followed the coffin out of the church into the graveyard for the committal service, Elliott and Faith either side of him. Grace was next to Elliott. The words spoken by Pastor Jack went over his head as the tears rolled down his cheeks in a never ending stream.

The people around him began moving back inside for the wake.

Joel stayed rooted to the spot at the graveside.

“Joel, are you coming inside?” Elliott touched his shoulder.

Joel shook his head. “In a bit, bro. Take the girls inside. Just need a few minutes. He doesn't like being alone.”

“He's not alone, Joel, you know that. I'll see you inside. Don't be long.”

Joel gazed downwards at the coffin, the simple gold plaque reading Bradley Joel Wallac and his birth and death date. The only good thing to have come from his marriage, lay cold and still in the ground at only eight.

“You know what he's doing right now?” A quiet voice beside him disturbed his thoughts.

Joel looked up. “What's that, Pastor?”

“He's kneeling at the feet of his Lord asking Him to take care of you.”

Joel smiled though the tears. “Yeah, sounds just like him. He only ever wanted me to be happy.” He pulled a tissue from his pocket and wiped his eyes and blew his nose. “At least he isn't hurting anymore. I just don't know how I'm going to manage without him.”

Pastor Jack rested a hand briefly on Joel's arm. “I know, it's hard, but I promise it does get easier and we can begin to remember with a smile rather than tears. Are you coming inside?”

Joel took one last look at the grave. “Yeah, I'm coming.”

Pastor Jack's first wife had died, so he knew what Joel was talking about. What lay in the ground wasn't Bradley. Bradley was safely in heaven. He made his way through the church hall, talking to people on the way until he finally reached the one person he wanted to see. “Thank you for earlier, Faith.”

Faith squeezed his hand. “You're welcome. How are you doing?”

“I've been better...” His voice betrayed him, and he sagged against the wall. Suddenly her arms were around him, and he sobbed like a child, taking the comfort she offered.

~*~

Faith finished her coffee. Joel had recovered enough to sit and talk to a few people. She wanted to go and look at the flowers. Slipping out of the side door, she headed across to where the flowers were laid by the wall. She read the cards as she walked along them.

Then her heart stopped. A single stem of black lily of the valley, a red ribbon tied around its base, lay on the end of the row.

He'd found her.

Panic filled her.
How? He's in prison or at least he should be.

Nausea rose and she couldn't stop shaking. Moving as fast as she could, Faith went to find Grace. “I need the car keys,” she whispered. “And your phone.”

“Here you go. Is everything all right?”

“Fine…” Faith took the keys and phone and ran from the building to the car park. She sat in the car, still shaking. Her mind went blank and she couldn't remember Rick's number. Fortunately, Grace had it programmed into the handset.

“DS Chadwick,” he answered on the second ring.

“Rick, it's Faith. He found me. There's a black flower with a red ribbon at the church.”

“Go home. I'm on my way. Don't do anything or speak to anyone until I get there. And I'll make sure the cop car is out the front of the house ASAP.” The line went dead.

Faith put the phone down and sucked in a deep breath. She started the car and drove back to the house as quickly and legally as she could, completely forgetting the fact she'd left Grace behind.

She wasn't going to wait for Rick to get there. She'd pack and leave. Just vanish. Like Hope had done all those years ago.

Back at the house, she packed quickly and pulled the case into the hall. Patches stood at her heels. She opened the door to find Grace, Joel, and Elliott standing there.

Grace frowned, door key in her outstretched hand. “I wondered where you'd got to. Elliott had to bring me back with them.” She looked at the case. “Where are you going?”

“I have to leave…” She paused, seeing the red car pull up out the front of the house again. “Please…I have to go.”

“You're not going anywhere, hon, until you explain,” Grace said. “Plus which, Joel has something to ask you.”

Faith reluctantly let go of the case, and let her sister shepherd her back into the lounge. Her hands creased and unfolded, her palms damp and a huge knot in her throat.

Any second now, Damien would burst through the door, with his gun. She was putting everyone at risk simply by being here. Joel had been through enough the past few days without her bringing more death and destruction his way.

Joel didn't look much better than he had done in church. “I've got a book tour starting tomorrow. I was in two minds as to whether to go or not, but called my agent on the way home from the funeral and told him I would. I wondered if you weren't busy whether you'd like to come with me. There are signings arranged in various places, there's a convention I have to do, stuff like that. I thought as you're an illustrator you'd like to come.”

Faith thought fast. “How long does the tour last for?”

“It's a month. It's a combination of flying and driving. It's all booked for the both of us, flights, two rooms in each hotel, just in case we both went. I know you have other work on, but hoped you'd come.”

She hesitated. A month on the road with Joel, just her and him under any other circumstance would be wonderful
.
But now?

The doorbell rang. Grace went to answer it.

“If you'd rather not, then it's fine,” Joel continued. “I just thought…”

Grace came back in. She held out a long white box. “Faith, this was left on the doorstep. It's got your name on it. Looks like flowers. But not from my florist.”

Her heart thudded. “No one knows I'm here.”

Grace pressed the box into Faith's hands. “It's probably Rick. Open it, there might be a card.”

Faith opened the box, her skin going cold and clammy. A small white card with five words on it glared up at her.
Love you to death. D.

She felt to her knees, as the black lilies of the valley tied with a red ribbon fell to the floor, the card fluttering after it.

~*~

Joel dropped to his knees beside her, holding her tightly. What had scared her so? It was just a flower. Something about her kindled the embers of his broken heart. Was she the woman to heal him? He hadn't thought he was capable of love or trust again, but it seemed God had a different plan. “Faith?”

When she didn't answer, he looked at Grace. She stood in Elliott's arms, just as pale as her sister. Something wasn't right. Both sister's looked spooked. “OK, what's going on here?”

Grace shook her head. “It has to come from her.”