Lilja's Library (75 page)

Section 6—The Rest
 

Territories (audio)
 

Posted: July 19, 2003  

Earlier this week a CD called
Territories
fell into my lap. This is a CD with New Age music based on King’s
The Dark Tower
series and
The Talisman
. At first I was a bit surprised. Is it possible to do music based on a book series or an individual book? Well, I guess it is, because that is exactly what Dennis Downing has done.  

The CD contains eleven tracks and as far as I can tell one is inspired by
The Talisman
and the rest by
The Dark Tower
series. Among the titles you can find names like “Crossing Over,” “Along the Path of the Beam” and “Court of the Crimson King.”  

This CD is really special. It’s nothing you would put on if you were having a party with some friends (this is not your typical party music), and it’s not something you put on when you’re going to sleep or for relaxation (the music is too intense for that). This is something you put on to get in the mood for
The Dark Tower
, and here is where it really works!  

I have listened to the CD numerous times and I was determined to give it quite a few listens before I sat down to write this review. I’m no music reviewer and was quite nervous to see if I would be able to do a fair review of a music CD (I guess you will have to be the judge of that). The first time I heard it, it did sound a little like elevator music to me, but I think that is because I’m totally new on New Age music. I don’t think I can name one other CD or artist which delivers New Age music. I hang my head in shame… 

One of the things that I found out when I listened to the CD, though, was that it gets better and better the more you listen to it. This isn’t uncommon when it comes to music, but it was a big difference between the first and last listening. I also found out that no matter what you do when you listen to it, you get an urge to read about Roland. I’m not sure if this is because I know
The Dark Tower
books influenced it, or if it would be the case even if I didn’t know that, but the fact remains: I want my
Dark Tower
fix when I listen to this CD.  

The only objection I have to this CD is that I think the title should have been something connected to
The Dark Tower
and not
The Talisman
, since almost every track is inspired by
The Dark Tower
series. I know, I know,
The Talisman
is also connected to
The Dark Tower
series and it’s no big deal, but still…  

Lilja’s final words about
Territories (audio)
 

Territories
is a special CD that probably isn’t for just anybody. It’s not mainstream music, but it’s still worth checking out, especially if you’re a
Dark Tower
fan!  

Just don’t expect to hear the latest KISS or Ricky Martin tunes on it… 

**** 

The Gunslinger (influenced by) (audio)
 

Posted: November 1, 2004  

I have just finished listening to John Flynn’s CD,
The Gunslinger
. This is a CD full of music based on King’s first book in
The Dark Tower
series. This is the kind of music that has no lyrics, just music. You’ll recognize it from several movies. And even though the music itself is good, there are two major problems with this CD. 

The first is that I have a bit of a problem knowing when I should listen to it. When you have this kind of music in movies it is used to set the mood in the movie. Then, when they are released on CD, only the hardcore fans get it (at least, that is my understanding).  

The problem here is that you can’t get it to fit when you read the book. It just isn’t possible to time it with the book. And if you just listen to it on the stereo or in a Walkman, it tends to be a bit too long and you easily lose the focus of the music. It’s much harder than if you have regular music with lyrics.  

The second problem is that I have a really hard time hearing
The Gunslinger
in it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nothing wrong with the music, but it doesn’t get me to think about King’s book. I guess it could be just me though…  

Lilja’s final words about
The Gunslinger
(influenced by) (audio)
 

OK, if you really like soundtracks with no singing (“mood music,” as I personally call it) you will probably enjoy this one as well. If you don’t like mood music you will probably not like this one either.  

And about my not hearing
The Gunslinger
in the tracks…don’t take my word for it. On the official site (the site is down at the moment) you can listen to clips from the tracks and decide for yourself if
The Gunslinger
is in there. 

**** 

The Gunslinger / The Drawing of the Three (audio)
 

Posted: November 30, 2004  

OK, I have listened to a third CD with music inspired by King’s
Dark Tower
saga. This one was made by John Griffin, an undergraduate at WMU, and covers the first two books. 

The first part is a live recording of the part that is inspired by
The Gunslinger
, and I must say that it feels a bit strange to hear people applauding at the end. Not that it changes the music itself, but it compromises the feeling the music gives you. 

The part that covers
The Gunslinger
is quite OK. Far from all of it makes me think of
The Dark Tower
, but some of it does, especially the piano part, which I suppose is inspired by Roland’s visit to Tull. 

The second part of the CD is inspired by
The Drawing of the Three
and is a more confusing trip. The music doesn’t seem to have a common factor and part of it feels way too hysterical. I don’t know if that is Griffin’s intention or if it’s just me, but
The Drawing of the Three
part didn’t make it for me.  

Lilja’s final words about
The Gunslinger
/
The Drawing of the Three (audio)
 

Well then, do I recommend you to buy this CD? If you’re a die-hard fan of orchestra music you should at least consider it, but otherwise, I’m sorry to say, you are better off spending your money on another CD. 

**** 

Christine - Collector’s Car
 

Posted: March 3, 2005  

A couple days ago a man delivered a car to my door. No, it wasn’t a real car. It was Diecast Direct’s model of
Christine
. They have done the car, a ’58 Plymouth Fury, in the scale of 1:18, and as you can see from the pictures, it’s a really cool-looking car. 

The car even has working headlights. Yeah, you heard me; there is a little button on the bottom of the car where you can turn them on. It looks really scary in a dark room. You can also open the hood, the trunk and the doors. Inside there is a detailed interior as well as a steering wheel and gas and brake pedals. You can also move the front wheels and push the back of the front seat forward to make it easier to get in the backseat…if you’re small enough, that is. The car is only 11.5” long.  

As far as I know, it’s pretty unusual that stuff like this is made from King’s books. There aren’t (to the best of my knowledge) any Pennywise action figures or cuddly Cujo dolls out there. I know that there is a much smaller
Christine
model and some clay models of Jack Torrance, Pennywise, Carrie and other characters from King’s books, but this is the coolest one I have seen so far.  

The price of the car varies between twenty-six dollars and forty dollars, which may seem a bit high, but if you want a cool car and can afford to spend the money I still think you should. After all, how cool is it to turn off the lights, make a
vroom
-ing sound and then turn on the headlights?  

If you want you can play with this car as with any other toy car. Personally, I think it’s meant to be a collector’s item and not a toy though. In other words, my one-year-old son is not allowed to play with it.  

Lilja’s final words about
Christine
- Collector’s Car
 

If you can afford it, this model is a really cool collector’s item, and if you can’t, you’re missing out. 

**** 

SCarrie: The Musical (audio)
 

Posted: October 12, 2005  

SCarrie: The Musical
is probably one of the strangest things I have ever reviewed. It’s a recording of
SCarrie: The Musical
, which in itself is pretty unusual. 

SCarrie: The Musical
is, as the name implies, a parody of
Carrie: The Musical
, which flopped big time. In
SCarrie,
the lead cast (Carrie and her mother) is played by men dressed as women, and the rest of the cast is played by actors and actresses as their correct gender.  

The feeling you get from listening to this CD is that even though they wanted to do a comedy they didn’t want to stray from King’s book too much. So, even though
SCarrie
is done in a comic way it still follows King’s book very well. You’re taken through the story with songs like “I’m Dying/Plug It Up,” “Creepy Carrie,” “Gonna Make You Sweat” (in which the gym teacher sings, “Are you going to out-sing me Hargensen? You’re out of the prom.”), “It’s The Prom,” “I Told You So” and “Sue’s Nightmare.” 

This is the first time I have reviewed a musical on CD (there will be a DVD released later), but I have to say that it wasn’t as hard as I first thought it would be. Just by listening to the CD you get a good idea of the musical, even though I suspect a big part of the parody gets lost when you don’t see what happens on stage and the actors/actresses themselves. In “Gonna Make You Sweat,” which is one of the more graphic pieces, you hear Miss Collins telling Chris and the girls that they got detention, and when Chris smacks her you can almost feel it sting.  

Joey Steakley really looks a lot like Carrie or, as you can see, he does look quite a lot like Sissy Spacek did in the original movie. The one who looks really odd is Ed Jones as Carrie’s mother, Margaret White. Hilarious!  

Lilja’s final words about
SCarrie: The Musical (audio)
 

Personally, I’m very much looking forward to the DVD release. If it’s half as funny as the CD implies, I’ll be laughing my head off, and so will you.  

Part 6—Reviews—The New Ones  

Here There Be Tygers
 

Written For the Book  

Here There Be Tygers
is a short little piece at just under twelve minutes long. It’s the story of a boy who is afraid to go to the bathroom at school because he thinks there is something hiding out there…something that wants to eat him.  

His teacher sends him there anyway, and even though he doesn’t want to go he really has to. So he does, and while in there he hears something. He hears the monster… 

Here
There Be Tygers
is a hard movie to make since it almost only includes children, and as we so often hear filmmakers say: there is nothing harder to work with than children and animals. Director James Cochrane does a good job with
Here There Be Tygers
though. He makes some decisions I don’t like, but they are minor. In one scene where our young hero runs for the bathroom, Cochrane slows the movie speed so the boy is running in slow motion, which totally breaks the flow of the movie. There are also some cuts that maybe aren’t the best, but other than that he does a good job with
Here There Be Tygers
.  

Lilja’s final words about
Here There Be Tygers
 

Here There Be Tygers
is a quick view, and if you get the chance to see it you should definitely take it.
Here There Be Tygers
is one of those typical “Dollar Babies” that are out there.  

**** 

I Am The Doorway
 

Written For the Book  

I Am The Doorway
, I’m sorry to say, is not a good “Dollar Baby”. The music is too loud, the acting is not good and the special effects are really bad. The actors keep looking into the camera all the time, and that alone isn’t a good sign… 

I’m sorry to say it, but there isn’t much that is good with
I Am The Doorway
. The casting is all wrong. The main character is way too young. The acting leaves a lot to wish for and the special effects are really lousy. Another thing that
I Am The Doorway
has against it is that it’s in French. I know that shouldn’t matter, but since I don’t speak French I can’t help seeing it as something negative. 

I know that
I Am The Doorway
is a challenge to make, but if you don’t have the knowledge or money to do it right maybe you should pick another story. 

I will give some credit though, since it’s done by a very young filmmaker, and I bet that with practice he will do good in the movie industry. It looks like he has a really burning interest for making movies, but here he is totally off, I’m sorry to say. Here though, I actually wish King would have said no when he asked if he could do it.  

Lilja’s final words about
I Am The Doorway
 

As I say about every “Dollar Baby”, if you get the chance to see it, take it.
I Am The Doorway
is bad, but “Dollar Babies” are always interesting to see…even the bad ones.  

****

The Gunslinger 

Written For the Book  

The Gunslinger
is a little different from the other “Dollar Babies”. In fact, I’m not really sure it’s a “Dollar Baby” at all. As you know, the “Dollar Babies” are sold for one dollar, but
The Gunslinger
was done as an entry in the American Gunslinger Contest that Scribner and Penguin had when the last
Dark Tower
books were released. So, maybe Robert Cochrane didn’t pay the one dollar that would make the movie a true “Dollar Baby”… 

The movie itself is a short one. It’s actually just a scene from when Roland meets Brown, and is mostly dialogue. Roland and Brown talk about The Man in Black, and we also get to hear Zoltan say the classic line, “Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot.” 

Given the little time and money spent on the project it’s actually pretty good. Of course, it’s an amateur movie, but you can’t expect anything other than that. In fact, it was supposed to be an amateur version done by a fan; that was the purpose of the contest. 

The three-minute movie was then, along with others, put on the web and people could vote for the entry they thought was the best one. Cochrane’s entry won, and he got to meet King and get some books signed. 

One funny thing with
The Gunslinger
is that Cochrane plays both Brown and The Gunslinger in addition to the voice of Zoltan. The parts are actually so well done that at first I didn’t notice. It was at the end of the movie when the parts are credited that I realized that was the case. There are some scenes that include both Roland and Brown, and I’m not sure how he did that. I’m guessing that someone played one of the characters in those specific scenes.  

Lilja’s final words about
The Gunslinger
 

I remember seeing the other entries and seem to remember that I thought Cochrane’s version was the best one, actually. I do know now that he did a very good job considering the funding and the time he had. 

****

Luckey Quarter 

Written For the Book  

Luckey Quarter
is done by Robert Cochrane, who also did the “Dollar Baby”
The Gunslinger
, which won the American Gunslinger Contest. This time he had a little more money and time, I guess, because
Luckey Quarter
definitely looks better and more professional.  

Luckey Quarter
is the story of a chambermaid who gets a quarter tip one day when she cleans a room. A note says that it’s a lucky quarter, and for the first time in her life she plays the slot machines. She wins fifteen dollars and takes that to the casino, and there her quarter grows even more.  

All this is like a dream come true and maybe, just maybe, it actually is only a dream… 

The cast and the script for
Luckey Quarter
are actually pretty good. It’s still a “Dollar Baby” and has its flaws, but it’s a good one. It’s only eleven minutes long, but it manages to tell the story without rushing the plot along, and that is very good. 

When looking at
Luckey Quarter
and also
The Gunslinger
, I wouldn’t be surprised if we soon get another movie by Cochrane. I actually hope so. With the right money and the right people I think he can make a very good movie. Maybe even a feature movie if the conditions are right.  

Lilja’s final words about
Luckey Quarter
 

So, maybe in the future there will be a DVD with all of the Cochrane “Dollar Babies” on it? That would be nice. The fact is there are not many people who have made more than one “Dollar Baby”—Cochrane is one of the few. 

**** 

Boogeyman
 

Written For the Book  

The Boogeyman
is the second “Dollar Baby” by Giuliano Dinocca, who also did
I Am The Doorway
, and I’m afraid that this one is just as bad. I think the biggest problem I have is that the director also wants to star in his movies. And, besides the fact that he isn’t a very good actor, he is all wrong for the part.  

I mean, he is a teenager and he plays the role of a family father? That just doesn’t work. The same goes for the co-star, the doctor. He doesn’t look a day over fifteen, but he still plays the role of a much older man. It just doesn’t work… 

I know that this is a “Dollar Baby”, that the budget isn’t big and that he has to settle for what he gets, but come on…he has to know someone who wants to play the role. So, even if it’s a “Dollar Baby” and they don’t have a lot to work with, I think that they should at least try. 

With that said, isn’t there anything that’s good about
The Boogeyman
? Well…Dinocca is very brave to do it at all. I know for sure that I wouldn’t do it. The movie also shows that he wants to make movies very badly. Maybe, though, he should try staying behind the camera instead of in front of it. Or at least stop looking into the camera while in front of it.  

Lilja’s final words about
The Boogeyman
 

Dinocca is one of the few people who have made more than one “Dollar Baby”. Personally, I think it’s enough now, or if he does another one I’d like to see him as a director only. I think that may be a better way for him to go. 

**** 

Walking Ghost 

Written For the Book  

Walking Ghost
by director Sarah Sterchele is something very different than what I see when I see
The Gunslinger
,
which it’s supposed to be based on. For starters, Roland is an African-American. I don’t think that was King’s intention, but even though it’s an unexpected twist I really don’t have a problem it.  

What I do have a problem with in her movie, though, is 1) it’s in black and white, which makes it quite hard to make out details, 2) the story is very hard to follow and 3) the church scene looks a little too much like a silent movie with Charlie Chaplin. I keep expecting those cards with words on them to appear on the screen. 

There isn’t any dialogue in the movie, and that is actually something positive here. The part of the book which Sarah has chosen to transform into a movie really works better without any disturbing dialogue.  

The movie starts out with a confusing dream in which Roland kills Susan…I think. It’s very confusing. Then it shows how Roland enters Tull, meets someone who I don’t know, goes to a meeting at the church where a priest is present (here it’s not the crazy woman in the book, but a man) and ends up killing them all. Then the movie ends… 

It’s very hard to say anything about the actors in the movie since they don’t talk or interact much besides shooting each other. The special effects are quite cleverly done though. They don’t work, but they are cleverly done. The movie is, as I said, shot in black and white, and then when someone gets killed a red dot is added to the picture. It looks like it’s done in Photoshop, but the idea was very clever.  

Lilja’s final words about
Walking Ghost
 

Walking Ghost
is a confusing “Dollar Baby”, and even though it’s about a scene from the book that is well known, it’s so different here that I wonder if Sarah read the same book as I did… 

****

The Secret Transit Codes of America’s Highways
 

Written For the Book  

Despite being the longest title on a “Dollar Baby” and also being based on one of King’s stories with one of the longest titles, this is a pretty short movie. It clocks in at just over ten minutes, and I must admit it feels a bit rushed. There is quite a lot that is left out of the story it’s based on. 

One twist that is pretty interesting is that it’s narrated and doesn’t really have any dialogue in it. It’s just when Alfi calls home that we get some speaking lines in the movie. This isn’t a bad way to do it though, especially if you’re going to make a movie as short at this one is. 

The problem with
“The Secret Transit Codes of America’s Highways”
is that because it’s so short it’s missing a lot of the feeling of the written story. The events are mostly there, but you don’t really feel for Alfi. It’s a story told, but it’s a story told without feelings… 

Doing a version of
All That You Love Will Be Carried Away
, you also have to consider that this is one of the stories that has been filmed the most times as a “Dollar Baby”, three times if I’m not mistaken, and that means you really have to make your version stand out, to make it better than the other two. 

I know, this is mostly true when you talk about feature movies, but still, I think you should have that goal even if you’re just doing a “Dollar Baby”. Unfortunately, Brian Berkowitz doesn’t deliver enough…