Lilies for Love (13 page)

Gytha slid a sideways glance at Hugh, then looked hurriedly away. Both remembered well her stated intention to wed Hugh and her determination to let nothing stand in her path. 'But I've taken no vows,' Janna said, trying to smooth the awkward moment. 'I sought shelter here and, as you see, I help to look after such patients as come to the abbey.'

'I, too, have my lord's best interests at heart,' Gytha fussed importantly, feeling herself now on safer ground. She proffered a basket towards Janna. 'I have brought some delicacies from the manor's kitchen to sustain him while he recovers from his wound. Please see to it that he receives this good food from now on.'

'There is naught wrong with the food we eat here at the abbey.' Sister Anne's tolerance had finally snapped. She bustled forward and took the basket from Gytha. 'Rest assured, the lord Hugh will not go hungry, nor will he lack meat for it is allowed here in the misericord.' She looked at Janna. 'I shall take this to our kitchen and, while I am there, I shall make up some new medicaments with the herbs you have gathered. After that, I shall go on to the fair. There is no need to change the dressing on the wound for now, you may do it later when the lord's guests have gone. In the meantime, please keep watch over the patients – and I mean all the patients, not just this one – while I am gone.'

'Yes, Sister.' Janna set Hamo aside and stepped out of Sister Anne's way. She was delighted to see the little boy. She was afraid that his abduction might have changed his bright and trusting nature for ever, for he had suffered cruelly at the time. His affectionate hug had done much to reassure her. 'How are you doing, my young lord?' she asked.

He smiled up at her. 'I am quite well now,' he said.

'But he has nightmares sometimes,' Cecily piped up.

Hamo looked embarrassed.

'I would have nightmares too, if I'd been abducted like you were, Hamo,' Hugh said quickly, and was rewarded by the boy's relieved grin. It was clear that Hamo worshipped his cousin, and took comfort from the fact that someone as big and brave as Hugh might also have nightmares. His glance switched to Janna.

'Are you a nun now?' he asked.

Janna smiled. 'Not exactly,' she said. She was sorry the boy was having nightmares, and wondered if it might be possible to divert him by giving him something else to think about. 'Tell me, Hamo,' she said, 'do you know your letters and numbers?'

'No.' Hugh answered for Hamo. 'It is my duty to teach Hamo the arts of war and of polite society, to fit him for his eventual role as lord of the manor. While I, myself, have acquired some knowledge of reading and of writing, there is no need for Hamo to learn such things for he will have a scribe at his disposal.'

'There are some children who come here to learn their letters with Sister Grace and Sister Maria,' Janna said, ignoring the disdain implicit in Hugh's words. She couldn't believe anyone would choose not to learn if given the opportunity.

'It might be something to think about, my lord?' Cecily spoke up, anxious for anything that might help Hamo forget his ordeal.

Hugh inclined his head. 'Perhaps when he is older. If Dame Alice thinks it necessary.' He heaved himself up into a sitting position, wincing at the pain of it.

'How are you feeling today, my lord?' Janna asked hastily, thinking she should focus on her duty of care rather than advising their newest patient on how his cousin should be raised.

'Sore,' Hugh answered with a smile. He now wore a night-shirt, and Janna was glad of it. She wondered where Sister Anne had found such a garment. 'Do you want to tend my wound?' He plucked at the fabric, ready to raise his shirt, and Janna panicked.

'No!' She read the amusement on his face at her sharp rejection. 'I can look at it later, when Sister Anne returns,' she amended. She felt a prickle of sweat at the very thought of Hugh's hairy chest.

Gytha shot her a hostile glance. 'So you really are a healer, even if everything else you told us was lies?'

'There was a good reason for Sister Johanna to hide her true identity, Gytha,' Hugh reprimanded her, reminding the girl of her place and her surroundings at the same time. Gytha flushed, looking resentful.

'But I do regret having to deceive you, Gytha,' Janna said kindly, adding, 'I regret all the lies I've had to tell.'

Now it was Cecily's turn to colour. She bent her head, trying to hide her guilty knowledge and her embarrassment.

Janna turned her attention back to Hugh. She laid her wrist against his forehead. Touching him threw her into such confusion, she couldn't tell if he was feverish or if it was her own burning emotions that scorched her skin. 'Do you feel hot, my lord?' she asked anxiously. If the wound became infected, Janna knew that fever would follow as the infection spread.

'No, I'm just uncomfortable. Of course, being attended by a beautiful woman –' Hugh's gaze raked the small cubicle. 'By so many beautiful women – would heat any man's blood!'

'Sister Anne will give you something to make you feel easier as soon as she returns.' Janna stepped towards the entrance of the cubicle, anxious to escape Gytha's hostility, Cecily's discomfort and Hugh's awkward compliments. 'I must see to my other patients,' she said quickly.

'Before you go, Janna.' Godric's voice stopped her. 'How long do you think my lord Hugh will need to stay here?'

Janna shrugged. 'He should not leave until his wound has knitted together. It's a deep wound, so it may take some time to heal. But it's not my place to say how long it will take. You must ask Sister Anne.'

'Shall I then stay with you, my lord? Do you need me here?' Godric offered eagerly.

'No, indeed, Godric. I would rather you kept an eye on things for me at the fair and at the manor. I will send for you if I need anything.'

Godric's face fell. Janna suspected that she was part of the reason he wanted to stay, although she did not doubt he wanted also to do his very best for Hugh.

Janna caught Cecily's eye and nudged her head towards the curtain, hoping she would take the hint and come outside.

As she left the room, she heard Hamo say, in a loud clear voice, 'If Janna's not really a nun, you and she could be wed, cousin Hugh. I'd like that, I really would.'

She lingered just long enough to listen to Hugh's answer. To her disappointment, he gave only a light laugh. Any reply he might have made was blocked by Gytha's hasty questions: 'Shall I bring you a change of clothes tomorrow, my lord? And I know how much you like my mutton pies. Shall I bring you one at the same time?'

So Gytha was still intent on her pursuit of Hugh. Janna wondered if she knew of Emma's existence, but suspected that she did not. As the cook's daughter, she would have been born and raised on the manor farm that Hugh had later come to manage, whereas Hugh had told her he, and Anselm and Emma, had spent their childhood at Dame Alice's manor.

'Did you want to speak to me, Janna?' Cecily's voice broke into Janna's thoughts. She stopped and drew Dame Alice's tiring woman aside.

'I wanted to warn you,' she said seriously. 'You can see, from what has happened to me, just how determined Robert of Babestoche is to keep the real cause of my mother's death a secret. You are already a threat to his safety and his conscience. I know you are careful when you are with him, but I worry that it's not enough to protect you, Cecily.'

'Robert doesn't suspect that I know anything beyond that your mother helped me . . .' Cecily's voice wobbled uncertainly. She drew in a breath. 'Helped me when I was in trouble,' she finished in a rush. 'He believes himself safe with my silence on that score for he has told me that ma dame would dismiss me if she knew of my "disgrace". That's what he calls it, although he played as much a part of it as I did!' Indignation flushed Cecily's cheeks. She took hold of Janna's hand. 'I am a coward, I know, not to tell Dame Alice about him, or about his responsibility for your mother's death, but in all conscience, Janna, ma dame has been so distressed over the death of her babe I cannot add to her grief by telling her the truth about her husband.'

Janna nodded. Cecily wasn't telling her anything she hadn't already suspected. 'I just want you to be careful, that's all. And keep your mouth shut about what you know.'

'I will. I am frightened too. I don't have your courage or the skill to protect myself from Robert or his assassins. That was why I was so glad when ma dame asked me to take Hamo to stay at Hugh's manor. In truth, when she and Robert came to stay there after Hamo went missing, I asked ma dame to release me from her service. But she will not hear of it, nor have I pressed her for I have been with her since I was a child and I know not where I would go if I was to leave her manor.' Cecily's face crumpled. She pressed Janna's hand tight. 'Never was anyone so wrong about a man, and so wrong about the nature of love as I,' she said wretchedly.

'You are in good company,' Janna comforted her. 'Remember, Dame Alice made the same mistake about Robert as you did.'

Cecily's confession over the nature of love, the unknown Emma, and the consequences of a broken vow all jostled for space in Janna's mind as she moved from bed to bed, here dispensing a soothing syrup for a troublesome cough, there medicating an ulcerous sore, or bringing ease to ancient limbs with a liniment rubbed in with strong and careful hands. But even Hamo's unexpected question and Hugh's laughter took second place behind the most pressing question of all: who had wounded Hugh – and why?

She was no nearer to answering that riddle when she returned to Hugh's bedside late in the afternoon, and found him entertaining a new visitor. She recognised the girl instantly as Emma, and was about to withdraw and leave them alone together when Hugh's voice stopped her.

'Johanna,' he said. 'Stay a minute to hear this, will you? I know you to be a shrewd observer, and we have need of your counsel.'

'But . . .' Emma half-rose from the stool on which she was sitting. Hugh reached over and placed a hand on her knee to stay her. Janna noted the intimate gesture, and felt hugely uncomfortable. Yet her curiosity was piqued, and so she ventured further into the small room.

'Johanna has solved a mystery in the past,' Hugh told Emma. 'You may speak freely in front of her.' Unobserved by Emma, he gave Janna a quick sideways wink. 'Besides, having taken the veil, Johanna is bound by the vow of silence, as are all the nuns under the Rule of St Benedict.'

Hugh sounded solemn enough, but Janna knew he didn't believe a word of it. Nevertheless, she was grateful for his public expression of confidence and so she stood quietly, and waited to learn what troubled the young woman.

'It's Anselm,' Emma confessed. 'After I spoke to you yesterday, Hugh, I went in search of him, for I was much distressed by this quarrel between you. It is all so unnecessary. If only he would see reason!' Her voice was raw with emotion. 'He's angry with me, but he's taking it out on you, Hugh. It's just not fair!' She took a couple of breaths in an effort to regain her composure.

'He's taking what out on me?' Hugh prompted. 'Is there trouble between you two?'

'Yes.' Now Emma looked defiant. 'The fact is,' she confessed, 'I have fallen in love.'

Hugh looked a little taken aback, while Janna's heart dropped like a stone. She would have left the cubicle there and then, but didn't want to draw attention to her obvious dismay.

'And that is why Anselm was so insistent that we should wed when I spoke to him yesterday?' Hugh asked warily.

'Yes! That's what he wants: a good marriage for me. A safe match with someone we've both known and loved since childhood. He wants a brother-in-law he can look up to, someone he can trust.'

'But I have nothing to offer you, Emma. You know that. You have always known that my aunt owns my manor, and that Hamo is her heir. Anselm knows that too.'

'Yes, yes, of course I know your circumstances.' Emma spoke impatiently.

'Then you can have no quarrel with your brother, for I am the cause of his anger, not you. But in truth, Emma, if you love me and are so sure you want this match, I would agree to it if only for the sake of our –'

'No!' Suddenly Emma realised how she'd been misinterpreted. 'I'm not in love with you, Hugh. Don't think that for one moment!' She blushed, embarrassed by her hasty words as she hurried to explain. 'I don't mean any disrespect, please don't think that. You know I love you as a sister. I always will. No, the trouble lies with the fact that the man who has won my heart is just not good enough for Anselm.'

Janna risked a glance at Hugh, and was amused to see the look of relief on his face. She was sure it was mirrored on her own. She hastily bent her head so that he could not read her expression, and instead studied the rushes covering the floor.

'So who is he, this man who has won your heart?'

'They call him Peter Thatcher. That is what he is, what he does, and as good and careful a craftsman you won't find for many miles about.' This was said defiantly. It was clear Emma had become used to defending her beloved.

'A thatcher? A free man?'

'No. But we are both happy and content to live at the manor under his lord. Peter is a good man, Hugh, you must believe that. He is kind, and gentle, and he makes me laugh!' In her desperation to be understood, Emma had grasped Hugh's hands in her own, and now she squeezed them hard and then released them. 'I love him,' she said softly. 'I love him with all my heart. I want to live my life with him, have children with him, and grow old with him.'

Janna felt a moment of pure envy that the girl seemed so sure of her love and her happiness. Then the reality of the situation cooled her so that she listened carefully to the answer to Hugh's question: 'Why is Anselm so against the match?'

'He says that, as I have a small dower, I should make a better match than Peter. Indeed, he told me that he was taking steps to increase the amount of my dower, and I could then have anyone of my choosing, any free man, that is. He talks of family honour yet, in truth, our family is not so noble or high that I need to be proud in my choosing. But I know who he really wants me to wed.
You
.' Emma's smile was rueful as she looked at Hugh.