Lilah (18 page)

‘Are you taking a moralistic view?’

‘Yes...no!’ I stammered, confused at my
feelings. ‘I am thinking of my friend.’ But it wasn’t the full truth. It was
jealousy that drove my speech and the attachment and loyalty I felt towards
Arianne had lessened from the moment she had told me of her defection from the
order.

‘All I know is that I have had human lovers
before and discarded the relationship. This one is different. But I will never
stop being your friend. You only have to call and I will be here.’

I was glad when he left so I could stop trying
to disguise the hurt. By the morning I had convinced myself that I was being
unreasonable and that I would welcome Arianne back into my life. Though, it was
difficult to get over the fact that she had abandoned her calling and years of
charitable work.

In the morning I summoned Irene to enquire whether
the pair were in the castle but her blank expression answered the question.
They had slipped into the castle unseen and departed just as quickly. I could
not see the relationship lasting once Arianne learned the truth about Gabriel.

She did not visit the castle again for several
days. One time, Gabriel came briefly into the library to check on my welfare.
After he left, Lewis muttered something under his breath. It was clear he knew
about Arianne and did not like that Gabriel was involved with a human girl.

I asked where Gabriel went when he did not stay
at the castle. Lewis said that he had another house where ‘he lives with the
rats’.

Several days passed. I was allowed free access
to Lewis’s library and close to mastering the reading of the strange dots and
dashes that was the ancient witch language. I read page after page of
histories. One account told how many centuries earlier there were thousands of
strigoi who roamed the earth, and many were in positions of power.

One such strigoi, Sigimund the elder, led a
secret order at the beginning of time. He talked of his fellow strigoi as
brothers and sisters, as they had all originated from heaven, and given human
forms to guide the new human race designed by God. Enjoying their time as
rulers, and worshipped as gods themselves, by the end of the third century on
Earth when it came time to return to heaven, they had asked to stay longer.
They were punished by God
for their desire for dominance and
lust for earthly pleasures: their immortal souls were then trapped in aging
grotesque bodies, and only human blood could sustain their hunger. Humans now
recognised that these magical beings they had once revered were now hideous and
dangerous but for a century, out of fear, they continued to serve them.

Sometime later, Sigimund came to be imprisoned
by trickery. Many humans who had masked their own minds through magic had
plotted to kill the strigoi. He was fed daily with slaves. One day they
poisoned a slave with magic blood after discovering a potion that was not
strong enough to kill a strigoi, but enough to leave him fighting the effects
of sleep. While Sigmund slept the humans burnt his body and spread his ashes
out to sea.

I asked Lewis whether Sigimund’s soul would
have gone to hell. He told me that burning a strigoi ceases their existence,
and the most humane way – to borrow such a term – to kill them. Had
they not burnt all his remains to ash, Sigimund’s soul would have floated in
darkness for eternity in what Lewis described as strigoi hell, and ultimately
plunging the spirit being into madness.

I read on. Other strigoi were tricked also at
the same time and it was how humans got the upper hand for a period. After
that, many strigoi kept a low profile, deciding that it was best they live in
secret. With numbers diminishing the creatures stole humans to couple with and
this gave birth to witches. Also around this time began the strange tales of
body stealing as a way of hiding the strigoi’s hideous identities so they could
live among humans without being caught; long before they learnt that sleeping
would reverse their ageing grotesque bodies and return them to their original
perfect humanly form. Then, over time, they came to understand their own
strength, which was well beyond any mortal.

I questioned Lewis on my own ancestry.

Lewis said: ‘Strigoi females cannot give birth.
It is normal these days for a male strigoi to wed a witch to provide a stronger
offspring rather than a human female. However, in the last few centuries,
witches, from their coupling with humans, have given birth to their own kind as
well. But this linking with humans has created, in many cases, less powerful
witches; so weak that some are unaware of their inheritance.’

‘Was it from my mother or father, that I
received these skills?’

Lewis looked up at the mention of my parents.

‘I do not know.’

I knew he was lying but I did not question him
further for it would anger him.

‘Where do the witches go when they leave here?’
I asked

He seemed even more reluctant to answer this
and became impatient. I was dismissed quickly then.

One day during my studies, Gabriel returned. He
looked just as handsome as he always did but less flamboyant and slightly more
guarded as if he was hiding something. I did not ask about Arianne for fear
that the sound of envy might creep into my voice, but I was still wounded that
there was no message for me.

I asked him the same question that Lewis had
avoided. He also looked wary but gave me an answer that was acceptable at
least. ‘Some witches never leave. Some convert to the strigoi. In the past,
some have coupled with strigoi here to continue the line, though most choose
not to. Their babies are raised away from the castle until they come of the
age. Some are repulsed by the idea of conversion and these do not remain at the
castle.’

He was keen to turn the conversation and asked
me about the histories I was engrossed in.

He stood above me and scoffed at one of the
documents.

‘You do not like that one?’

‘I do not like many of these books.’

‘But they are your history,’ I queried him.

‘Many have rewritten history and, I believe,
changed the words in order to do things differently and make new rules. I don’t
believe what I read.’

‘That sounds like the interpretation
of religion.
Some do it a different way because they have seen something else in the words
that others haven’t.’

‘You’re very perceptive for someone so young.’

‘Can you tell me what you disagree with?’

‘The books talk of our ancestry like we are
descended from hideous beasts. The histories make our actions sound barbaric
rather than defensive.’

Although his expression was serious I could not
help but laugh.

‘What is so funny?’

‘The very act of the strigoi is barbaric to
humans let alone putting their own souls in the bodies of humans. Not to mention
what happens to your body if you don’t feed. Do you not become grotesque?’

‘If you believe the book, yes, though I have
never seen one ‘turn’ as they refer it,’ he said. ‘Aged and withered perhaps
but not beast-like as depicted. Perhaps I can be too black or white when it
comes to this but I have not seen a strigoi who has become as you mention.’

‘So spoilt with human blood, how would you know
what becomes of your body?’

‘True, but it does not seem possible with all
our powers.’

‘Some of these books say that the banned
practice of soul taking was once a source of more power.’

‘I think once we are made strigoi we receive
many powers regardless, and that the blood sustains us. There is nothing to
definitively say that it is a soul that completes us, yet all of us have taken
at least one to effect the change…just in case. Though, too much soul taking
can send a strigoi to delirium.’

Gabriel paused to sense whether Lewis was close
by before he continued.

‘There are some rules I haven’t always
followed. One of them is soul taking. But I do it rarely and only to those who
do not deserve an afterlife. Others who are sick or dying…I will not take their
soul.’

‘Why be so forgiving for some and not to
others?’

‘So they can pass on to the heaven that they so
desperately desire. There are some close to death who I have killed simply to
be merciful and whose soul should move on. But then there are others who do not
deserve a second chance with their creator.’

‘So you believe in God and that you were once
his angels.’

‘Believe, yes, but we do not worship him for he
has forsaken us. Why else would it be that we cannot die. Not that I am
complaining for I would not want it any other way. But it is religion that I
truly despise: false places of worship, priests who are unworthy of preaching
God’s word, and make-believe stories used to instill fear.

‘I have no issue with God anymore, as I prefer
to live forever in body, enjoying earthly pleasures, rather than an eternity in
spirit in glorious rapture,’ he said the last with cynicism. It was clear he
was sceptical that such a spiritual afterlife was a reward and not a
punishment.

He continued: ‘Soul taking was common centuries
ago after
many of the strigoi were purged by human hunters
.
The strigoi believed that if they released the human souls after feeding, that
these souls may choose to remain on earth, enter the bodies of others and
somehow find revenge against them. You must remember that the strigoi were low
in numbers and weak in knowledge of
their
own strength
and abilities at this time. They wanted to erase any trace of those humans who
sought to hunt them.’

I added: ‘The
books also say that soul taking has been going on for hundreds of centuries,
that if you don’t take at least one soul you will not complete
the change
to become a strigoi, that you will shrivel and die in the ground after one
human lifetime and that no rejuvenation sleep will cure you to return to your
youthful selves.’

‘Yes, I know what the books say. The strigoi
have always taken at least one soul out of fear. I do not believe it is
necessary.’

‘Yet you admit you do it.’

‘Only for the reasons I have already said. Only
the human filth and only in moderation.’

‘Just to give them a chance with
God?
Or perhaps
you enjoy it more than you are letting on.’ I said, for I had also read that
such soul taking gave a strigoi much pleasure and like a drug, some were prone
to crave more.

He bowed then and took his leave, eager to
depart the conversation, and I deduced that there was some truth in my
suggestion.

When I queried Lewis on the subject he also
confirmed that one soul must be taken at the time of conversion but any further
soul taking was unnecessary. He had experimented on various strigoi to see the
effects. It had made some difference but the effects of hysteria in some cases,
and ageing faster, outweighed any benefits of strength.

He had made the act punishable to stop the
practice after people were going to ground a lot quicker and there were less
strigoi above the ground to act as guardians for those sleeping. I wondered
what the elder would say if he knew Gabriel still did it.

‘Blood is the key to our existence. Souls we
can take if we have little
self control
and too much
greed. Souls can give a strigoi the brief feeling of euphoria, and momentary
heightened powers, but nothing lasting,’ he went on.

I shivered for either practice was abhorrent.

Chapter 10

Lewis

Many months have passed. Gabriel
came less and less. Our last conversation had been heated for I had accused him
of deserting his coven for a simple human girl.

Lilah spent many days in my company and I grew
fond of her. She read the books from cover to cover. She studied ways to
recover herself and different areas of the body to heal persons with specific
ailments. She absorbed everything and asked many questions as if she could
effect change. Once she had read the history volumes of the strigoi she did not
open them again, preferring only the books on medicine and healing.

She was an intelligent girl and I could not
help thinking that she might make a nice companion during my final years. I had
not had a wife in over a century. There was no such thing as emotional love as
humans knew it, rather respect, companionship and the chance to further the
line.

One day, Gabriel brought the human girl to my
library. Lilah was with me at the time. The two girls greeted each other with
touching but there was awkwardness between then.

‘What is that on your face?’ asked
Lilah,
before I had a chance to get rid of them for I did
not like human strangers in my library.

I had seen it too. A large scar the same colour
as her skin stretched from the base of Arianne’s left eye and across her cheek.
She was still attractive in an imperfect way.

‘It is nothing. I fell.’