Like the Dawn (Lark #3) (7 page)

Chapter Seven

             
E
lsa, the elf charged with designing my crown, took no time at all setting up a table in my room filled with pictures of various designs she thought I might like as well as samples of the different choices of metals and gems I could choose from.
              Now that the invitations have officially been extended to the other kingdoms for the royal meet and greet, I guess this whole crown thing is kind of important. I want them to take me seriously and why would they if I don't look the part?
              So as hesitant as I was to the idea of having a tiara crafted for me, I can see Alberico's point now. Of course, actually choosing what I want it to look like is a little overwhelming.
              I'm so thankful Isobel is here helping me.
              “This one is lovely,” Isobel says as she holds the drawing up for me to examine. “You could pair the silver with the diamonds.”
              “This just seems so ridiculous.”
              “Why do you say that?” Isobel asks while Elsa clears her throat indignantly. I didn't mean to offend her personally but it’s difficult to hide my annoyance.
              “The Dark Elves are free to roam the earth, causing chaos and whatever else they want to do and I'm sitting here picking out what I want my crown to look like so that I can look official when I meet the leaders of the other kingdoms. It seems so petty.”
              I feel like I have to constantly remind everyone what is happening. Why don't they understand?
              “I know it must seem that way to you but if you are to be presented to the other kingdoms in hopes of gaining their favor, you must look the part.”              “Not sure how I'm going to accomplish that,” I mumble. If Alberico wasn't able to persuade them, how can he think I'd have better luck? “How long ago did my father visit Raumelfr? I don't remember him being gone.”
              “It was fairly recent. I don't believe he discussed where he was going with anyone.”
              “Oh.” I feel a little put out that he told her but didn't tell me.
              “Don't fret, my dear. He isn't keeping secrets from you. I only know because he apologized for being away when everything happened.”
              I realize then when he must have left.
              “That's where he was when I—” I can't finish the sentence.
              “When you saved me?” She finishes for me.              “That's one way to look at it,” I reply glumly. Yeah, I might have saved her but in the same breath I unleashed evil onto the unsuspecting mortal world. My good deed seemed to be canceled out by my epic mistake.
              “Mia, you did. Whatever else may have happened in the process doesn't take away from the fact that I owe you my life,” she tells me earnestly before continuing. “The king seems to think that after his visit to Gautelfr, that though King Magnus seems hesitant, they will ultimately choose in our favor.”
              “I hope so. At the council meeting Brigit acted like she didn't think it was possible.”
              “Yes well, that's the problem with Brigit; she often speaks of things she has no knowledge of.” Isobel smiles kindly at me. “I don't think King Magnus would ever let your father down. They've been friends for too long. King Valdar of Raumelfr, on the other hand, will be a little more difficult to convince.”
              “I just don't understand why. The Dökkálfar are attacking innocent humans. Wouldn't they
want
to help stop them? Don't they understand how important it is?”
              “It's not quite that easy. You've only been here in Álfheimr. The kingdoms of Raumelf and Gautelfr are much smaller and not quite as grand. They are also not quite as strong as we are which is weighing heavily, I think, against us. They will suffer immensely if we fail. I do not believe they want to take such a risk.”
              “But wouldn't it be better to end it now before Dugan comes after them?”
              “I think they believe that this is a revenge quest. They are choosing to believe Dugan only wants vengeance against his brother and the kingdom that he feels is rightfully his which is why they are choosing to not involve themselves and risk attracting Dugan's attention. I believe it is their hope that if they remain neutral, he will not invade their kingdoms.”
              “And they are okay with just sitting back and letting it happen to us? Do they honestly think Dugan will just leave them alone? Are they truly that ignorant?”
              “Foolish, perhaps. But it is what it is. It's why it's so important for us—namely you—to earn their good graces. It could make all the difference.”
              It's absolutely ridiculous to me that all of this is proving to be so difficult. If I ever become queen, I will always help the other kingdoms if they need me.
              There I go again thinking about when I will be queen. Alberico will continue to rule for centuries so I'm not sure why I even keep thinking about being queen. It's not something I would ever desire.  But it does make me think of another one of my offenses.                                                                                                                 “Isobel, can I ask you something?”
              “Of course dear, what is it?”
              “Are you mad at me?”
              “Why would you think that?”
              “Because I sorta took your place. You were the heir and now I am. It doesn't really seem fair. You must surely have wanted the throne. I'm just afraid that you resent me for pretty much stealing it right from under you—unwillingly or not.”
              “Oh Mia, I could never resent you. I owe you so much.”
              She wraps her arms around me and gives me a fierce hug.
              “There’s something else.  You are wrong about one thing.”
              “Wrong about what?” she asks, releasing me from her embrace.
              “Alberico is keeping secrets from me.”
              I can tell that she knows exactly what I'm talking about and I can also tell that she isn't willing to indulge that little secret regarding the 'other option' for gaining the alliance either.
              “You aren't going to tell me are you?”
              She shakes her head slowly with an apologetic tight-lipped smile. “But I will tell you that your father is doing everything he can so that you never have to know of it.”
              “That doesn't sound promising,” I mutter. “But why? Why can't he just tell me?”
              “Trust me, you don't want to know.”
              There's a light knock on the door and then Freya, who has been standing silently against the wall watching as Isobel and I look over all the precious metals and gems, answers the door and a moment later Adele waltzes in.
              “Did I miss out on all of the fun?” she asks as she approaches the table where everything is laid out neatly. “Ooh, I love this.” She picks up the rose-gold sample. “Please tell me you are picking this.”
              “I think that's my favorite, too.”
              “Because it's gorgeous!” Adele gushes. Who would have thought this little book worm would be so giddy over something as materialistic as choosing a tiara.
              “Okay, Elsa, this is the metal I want.”
              “Very good, Your Highness. May I make a suggestion?”
              “Of course.”
              “The rose-gold would pair lovely with freshwater pearls.”
              Pearls always seemed like such boring gems to me, but at the same time I could appreciate the subtle elegance of their simplicity and luster.
              “I agree,” I told her. “But I'm still not quite sold on any of these designs.” I gesture to the many sketches in front of me. “These are all lovely, don't get me wrong, but none of them seem like
me.
Do you know what I mean?”
              “What is it that you don't care for, Your Highness?”
              I can tell I'm on the verge of offending her again so I choose my next words carefully. “These seem much
grander
than I would feel comfortable wearing.”
              She seems to pause in consideration before reaching for her sketchbook. She doesn't say anything as she draws out a new design quickly.               “What about something like this?” She holds out the sketch for me to look at and I have to admit, as far as tiaras go, I sort of love it.  This design features ivy and laurel leaves dotted with white freshwater pearls per her suggestion.
              “Yes! That's perfect,” I tell her, and her face lights up, pleased that I finally made my choice.
              “I shall get started right away, Your Highness.”
              Elsa scurries away leaving me in disbelief over the fact that I just chose my royal crown. Before she can close the door, Grey enters. He looks around nervously, like he was expecting to find me alone.
              “Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.”
              “You're not interrupting anything,” I tell him. “They were just helping me pick my crown.”
              “Did you choose one?” he asks conversationally.
              “I did. Elsa is a genius. The whole process wasn't nearly as painful as I was expecting,” I tease.
              “I told you not to worry about it. Elsa is very good.”
              “Well, like usual, you were right.”
              I'm acutely aware of Isobel's and Adele's eyes bouncing back and forth between Greyson and me like they are watching a tennis match. I didn't think anyone saw us leave together yesterday—not that it would matter if they did, we didn't do anything wrong. It's just that the rumor mill is a little overactive here in Álfheimr so who knows what is being said.
              It's ten shades of awkward standing here with the two of them silently observing my interaction with Grey. Isobel is Jacoby's aunt and I'm suddenly worried that she might feel like this is some sort of betrayal. And, of course, there's the fact that I'm pretty sure Adele is in love with Grey.  Things are certainly complicated right about now. I can practically feel the tension in the air...it's thick and heavy like a blanket.
              “Well, I can see you're busy. I bid you good day,” he says with a slight bow before leaving.
              “That was—unusual,” Isobel comments carefully.
              I shrug noncommittally.
              “Is there anything going on between the two of you?” Adele asks hesitantly. She's trying hard to mask the sadness in her eyes, but I can see it plainly and a fresh wave of guilt washes over me.
              “No, of course not,” I assure them. Adele seems unsure, but Isobel looks relieved. I suppose she might have thought that that is why Jacoby left. “Grey and I are just friends. Same as always.”
              Though I'm not really sure if that's true. Is it possible to feel like everything has changed at the same time you feel like nothing has really changed at all?              
              Because that's how I'm feeling right now. After everything that has happened—after everything we've been through, sometimes it feels like I'm no closer to figuring him out than I was last fall. Grey will probably always be a mystery to me.
              Sometimes it feels like our stories are written for us—that our path is already decided and despite what we may think, we don't really have any choices.
              Fate has already decided what we will choose.  

Chapter Eight

             
I
t's been exactly a week since we extended the invites to the other kingdoms and we expect our guests to start arriving any day now. I'm still not one hundred percent on board with this whole thing but I'm beginning to notice that my opinion rarely matters. It's not that I don't think the alliance is important—I just don't understand why the other kingdoms are being so stubborn. Their selfish reluctance is going to make it difficult for me to be nice to them, let alone
charm
them into helping us.
              I've hardly had a moment alone with my father in the last few weeks so before it's time for me to start getting ready for the dinner tonight, I decide to try to catch him on his own. Whereas I usually hide away in the gardens when I need a moment of peace, Alberico can usually be found painting in his sitting room. 
              I knock on the closed door and he allows me in a moment later.
              “Mia, do you need something?” he asks from behind the canvas. He's never allowed me to see what he's been working on and I haven't wanted to be rude and ask. If he wanted me to see, he wouldn't go out of his way to hide it.
              “I just wanted to spend some time with you. I feel like I never get to really talk to you anymore.”              “I know, I am sorry. This will all be over soon.”
              “How do you know?”
              “I just do. And then we will have all the time in the world.”
              “I hope so.”
              “How are you holding up?' He stands and walks around the canvas to take my elbow then leads me over to a couple of chairs near the window.
              “I'm okay,” I say out of habit, but then I realize I don't want to lie to him. I've been telling everyone that I'm fine and okay even though I know that I'm far from it. “No, actually, I'm not okay. Nothing about this is fine. I feel like I'm helpless—I have no idea what I'm doing and I don't even know how to figure it out. I miss my mom and Maddie. I miss everything about my old life. I wish none of this ever would have happened to me!”
              I realize too late that I might offend him by my rant—after all, if none of this ever would have happened, I never would have met him and I really am thankful for that. I just wish it could have been under different circumstances.
              “I am so very sorry that things ended up this way. I had hoped we would be able to work something out that would allow you to hold on to both parts of yourself.”
              “It's for the best. I know that. I just wish—”
              “What is it?”
              “I wish that when everything is over—I wish it would be possible to lift the enchantment over them so they remember me. But I know that's dumb.”
              “It's not dumb. Of course you want them in your life.” He pauses thoughtfully. “You know, they did handle the fact that you are half-elf well before. Perhaps they will be able to come to terms with your immortality as well.”
              “What are you saying?” I ask, not wanting to let myself be hopeful.
              “I am saying, I think you need your family in your life. But right now, I just don't see how it would be possible. I am truly sorry, my dear.”
              “No, it's okay. I know it's not your fault. It just sucks, you know? But I knew what I was signing up for.”
              “I cannot imagine how hard all of this is for you, but please remember I am here for you. Always,” he promises.
              “I know, thank you.”
              I stay there with him for a little longer before excusing myself to get ready for the dinner tonight. I can't help but feel disheartened as I make my way back upstairs to my room. I know that Sól made it clear that it couldn't happen but Alberico agrees with me that my mom and Paul can handle the truth. Maybe someday I'll be able to persuade him...
              When I get to my room, Adele and Isobel are already there waiting for me.
              “What are you guys doing here?” I ask them as I close the door behind me.
              “Waiting for you of course.”
              “Freya let us in,” Adele explains.
              “That's fine,” I tell her. “But why are you waiting for me?”
              “To help you get ready!” Isobel says brightly.
              I apparently wasn't trusted to pick out my own clothes anymore without the aid of Isobel or Adele. Though I didn't really mind their company—since Hannah was no longer around, it was nice to have other friends besides Grey.
              Especially since these friends have never posed love-life problems.
              “Why haven't you ever worn this dress?” Isobel asks as she pulls out a lacy plum gown with subtle tiers and a strapless bodice.
              “Oh, that was one of the options for the birthday ball that never happened for obvious reasons.”
              “It's lovely. It's a shame that you never had a chance to wear it,” she says. Adele nods in agreement.
              “It's so not a big deal. You know how I feel about fancy dresses and heels.”
              Isobel tenderly hangs the dress back up, pausing thoughtfully for a moment before turning her attention back on me.
              “I have an idea!” Isobel exclaims a little too enthusiastically.
              “What?”
              “I think we should have a ball.”
              “What? Why?”
              “Because you just had a birthday and you are our first princess in a century—of course we want to celebrate.”
              “This is ridiculous,” I say at the same time Adele exclaims, “That's a great idea!”
              “Traitor,” I mutter to Adele which earns a clearly amused grin from her.
              “No, seriously, think about it. We can formally invite King Magnus and King Valdar and Queen Isla while they are here. It will encourage camaraderie and offer a chance to really get them on our side. After all I don't recall any other princess inviting the other kingdoms to celebrate her birthday so it will go a long way in charming them.”
              “I don't know. It seems silly. It's just a birthday.”
              “I know that this sort of thing isn't your cup of tea. I will handle all the details, all you need to do is show up in that pretty dress and smile. Once you have won them over then I'm sure they will follow your lead.” 
              “So you don't think I can charm them without a ball?” I ask dejectedly. If she lacks faith in me, then I really am hopeless.
              “Of course not, I know you will. But a ball will certainly help and regardless, your birthday is worth celebrating.”
              “It couldn't hurt,” Adele offers much to my dismay.
              “This is so freaking annoying! I don't want to throw a party, I don't want to wear a pretty dress and design a crown. All I want to do is make up for my mistake by kicking Dugan's butt. I'm tired of wasting all this time.”
              “I know, my dear. But you never know when life will be cut short—I think I'm particularly sensitive to that fact now. We take our lives for granted—we should celebrate while we can. You never know what tomorrow will bring.”
              “Ugh!” I'm on the verge of stomping my foot in bratty frustration, but I restrain myself and after a few deep breaths, I've managed to steady my voice. “Fine. But just know I hate this.”
              “We know, but trust us,” Isobel says.
              “It can only help,” Adele points out.
              “Yeah, whatever. I'm tired of trying to argue with you, but I still think it's excessive and unnecessary and we have more important things to deal with.”
              Isobel's smile widens. “I will let Alberico know of the change of plans.”
              “Thanks,” I grumble.
              “And Mia?” She stops before she leaves my room. “Save the purple dress for the ball.” She winks and then she's gone.
              “I'm glad Isobel thought of this idea and even more relieved that you agree,” Adele says after Isobel has left.
              “It's not really agreeing—I'm just not fighting the inevitable. I still hate the idea.”
              “I know that our way of doing things is strange to you.”
              “You have no idea. You would think I'd have adapted by now.”
              She smiles at that. “Maybe your way of doing things will shake up the kingdom when you are queen.”
              “I don't think that would be a good thing.”
              “I think you should wear that one,” Adele says, changing the subject. “It will complement your new tiara.”
              The dress she's referring to has a wide-sweeping ivory skirt that is intricately embroidered with an elegant golden floral design along the hem. This same pattern embellishes the neckline and wraps around the long sleeves that flare at my wrists. It's probably the most 'elvish' gown in my closet.
              I scrunch up my nose thinking about how heavy it's going to be.
              Adele and Freya help me into the dress and stand back to admire their work. As I suspected, the dress feels like it's made of lead.
              “I can't move,” I complain.
              “You'll be fine,” Adele assures me. “I'll let you finish getting ready. See you at dinner.”
              “Bye.”
              Alberico had insisted that I be the one to welcome our dinner guests tonight so I'm putting in a little more effort than normal getting ready.  I think it's his way of forcing me to take on a more active role as the princess and perhaps it's my practice run for when the king and prince of Gautelfr arrive.
              Elsa had delivered my new crown earlier and it's even lovelier than I thought it would be. As Freya places it on my delicately curled hair, my breath catches in my chest. I had pinned back the sides of my blonde locks, but left the rest loose down my shoulders.  Even without a more formal hairstyle, I'm still amazed by my reflection. For the first time, I really do look like a princess and it occurs to me that maybe I should start behaving more like one.
              I can't let my own wants and desires stand in the way of what's right for my kingdom. Yes, I will always miss my family and my old life, but there's no turning back now. The new reflection in my mirror is telling me that it's time for me to stop holding on to the past and become the princess I am meant to be.