Like Sweet Potato Pie (50 page)

“Maybe,” I said. But I just sat there, staring at the phone.

It took me days to come to terms with what Adam had done, especially after he cashed in his final payment from selling Eden Landscaping to buy me a simple silver band, stoneless, to replace the ring of grass.

So I racked my brain for any possible way to find enough money for Adam to go to college in August. I prayed and clipped coupons. Ate cheap ramen noodles and carpooled with Meg for a while, leaving my car parked in an empty lot. Until somebody tried to jimmy the lock, scratching up my door, and I decided to drive myself.

But no money came. Instead I found myself at the kitchen table, bent over a stack of forms, calculator, and checkbook, when I realized I’d forgotten to pick up the mail. The days popped with craziness—calling Tim Sr. and Jeanette and Beulah. Telling everyone at work and arranging days off. Trying to decide on a honeymoon spot that wouldn’t cost a fortune and haggling over dates. And breaking the news to
Yomiuri Shimbun,
bowing repeatedly as I apologized over the phone, tears in my eyes.

I just hoped I could still keep my electricity on, so behind was I on bills and late fees from some of the newest collection agencies that had caught up with me.

Besides bills, the rest of the table was crowded with steno pads, papers, and tapes of the local school board superintendent scandal, which had turned out to be a huge story.

All of this in the middle of driving out to Craigsville and Augusta Springs to do crime stories about stolen tractors (really), marijuana plantings, and illegally poached deer, among other things.

“Come on, Christie,” I said, putting down my pen and opening the front door into a glowing peach sunset. “Let’s see if God’s going to send us a million bucks.”

I trudged through the grass and pulled open the mailbox door then drew out a thick padded envelope with something hard inside. I checked the return address, which I didn’t recognize, then sat down at the kitchen table and slit the envelope. Reached inside.

And pulled out a book. WITH MY NAME ON IT.

“What on earth is this?” I threw it on the table.

I blinked and shook my head, but didn’t wake up; my name in curly script on glossy card stock and underneath, Mom’s.
To Live and Die in Dixie
read the spiral-bound cover. Decorated with a whimsical, artsy painting of a Rebel flag all made up of flowers and boots and things. My jaw dropped as I turned the pages, not prepared for what I saw.

Inside, in a page-a-day format, unfurled “365 Days of Dixie”—starting on January 1 and ending on December 31. And under each day’s heading flowed something that looked astonishingly like my writing. Stuff about mullets and cowboy boots and the number of people named Travis. Complaints about belt buckles and fatback.

Half of the entries weren’t mine, but they rang strikingly familiar, whispering deep down in my soul:
“Even though the canes are bare, life stirs beneath the surface. How do I know? Because that’s what faith is. Belief in an unseen God. Belief in grace and second chances even when all else shouts otherwise… .”

The other entries boasted humorous and interesting facts, such as the origin of root beer, the history of grits, some recipes, and curious items from
Farmer’s Almanacs.
All with whimsical, folkish drawings.

I stood there like an idiot, staring, and then grabbed the envelope and scrutinized the return address again.
Theodore Baxter. Theo. Kyoko.

I flew into the library and dialed, not even bothering to sit down. “Kyoko, what have you done?” I shouted, still holding the book.

“What are you talking about? The thing I sent couldn’t have gotten there yet, and besides, you didn’t tell me not to send anything weird or scary
to you
as a present. You just said not to send it to Tim and Becky.”

My jaw wobbled, and I lost my train of thought. “You … sent something weird?”

“Well, that’s what you’re talking about, isn’t it?”

“A book?”

“No, not the book, the … What?” I heard her gasp audibly. “You got a book? Theo sent the galley already? Oh my goodness, Ro-chan—tell me!”

“The what? Wait a second—you know about this?”

“Well … um … a little something. Maybe,” she replied smugly.

“Maybe?” I howled. “Kyoko, there’s a book sitting here with my name on it! Are you going to tell me what’s going on or not?”

“Okay! I confess. I snooped. At … um … your house. I’m sorry, Ro. But it was unavoidable. Sort of.”

“So you read my stuff when you came? And Mom’s journal?” I shook my head in disbelief. “I don’t understand.”

“Okay, okay, Ro-chan.” Kyoko’s voice lost its sarcastic edge. “It’s like this. You told me about your ‘Southern Speak’ notebook, and I couldn’t pass it up. You’re hilarious, Ro! Really.”

“Are you joking?”

“Nope. I copied it at Kinko’s. Sorry.” She snickered sheepishly. “Then I found your mom’s journal lying out on the table. I swear, I thought it was yours at first, and you left it open, so I assumed you didn’t mind. I’m so sorry, Ro, if you think I’m invasive or anything. I can talk to Theo and it’ll be ancient history. Just like that.” She snapped her fingers. “After all, it’s just the preprint version, so we can scrap it if you want. But I had to try.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I’m just …” I looked back down at the book in my shaking hands. “Wow. A book?”

“Hey, if Boy George can sell memoirs, you can write a book. I rest my case.”

I paged through the book, half listening. “Boy George? What does he have to do with anything?”

“Forget it, Ro.” Kyoko chuckled. “So, do you like it? If you do, it’s a go. You can look over this version and approve it, and we’ll finish the cover design, send it to printing. Publicity and all that. Theo says he’ll talk royalties with you. And payment of course. An advance. You are, after all, the author.”

My knees felt weak, and I staggered into the chair.

“Ro? Hello? Earth to Ro-chan?”

“I’m here, Kyoko. I … Did you say payment?”

“What, you think authors do their stuff for free?”

“No, I just meant …” My heart suddenly sped up. “Kyoko, tell me something. Do you think I might get like … a couple thousand dollars?”

“A couple thousand? Sure. I mean, you’re a new author and all, so Theo says if you sign the contract, they’ll probably start you off at—”

“No. You don’t understand. I need it now. Right away.”

Kyoko paused. “Well, that’s what an advance is,” she replied, as if I were exceptionally slow-witted.

I bowed my head onto the keyboard, typing rows of letters. “So I might be able to get it before August? Before Adam’s school starts?”

“August?” Kyoko chuckled. “I can probably get it to you next week, if you want. Theo’s pretty into me, you know.”

“What about Kaine?”

“Kaine? Forget him. He has no taste in music. He called Siouxsie and the Banshees a ‘lame girl band.’ I’m quoting, Ro. Can you believe it?”

I wanted, as usual, to ask Kyoko whom she was blabbing about, but she saved me. “Know what Theo sent me this week? A virtual Grubschmitter. It was amazing. He designed it himself.”

Okay. Maybe she didn’t exactly save me. “A … a what?”

“A Grubschmitter. Haven’t you ever played Doom before?”

I raised a shaky hand to my head.

“It’s this really creepy computer game, and they just released this new evil monster character that slays other creatures with a—”

“Stop!” I shrieked, pressing my hands over my ears as Kyoko protested how there wasn’t anything wrong with it, and if I hadn’t ever played it I couldn’t pass judgment, and how it reminded her of this ‘80s band where the lead singer’s hair looked like an overgrown bush, and …

“So you like the book?” Kyoko asked, from somewhere in the depths of her diatribe. “We started to call it
Song of the South,
but then I thought of the current title. Sort of a life-and-death theme, if you don’t mind me saying so. Since it’ll be a posthumous publication for your mom. She’s a really good writer, too, Ro. I never knew that. You must take after her.”

“Life and death,” I murmured, remembering the grave on a green hill. Her final glorious moments. “It’s perfect.”

I tried to thank Kyoko profusely, but she made gagging sounds and threatened to hang up. Started reading the Japanese phone book.

“Kyoko, what’s the other thing you sent me?” I asked suddenly, remembering. “That thing you mentioned when I first called?”

“Oh, listen!” she replied. “I think my cell phone’s ringing. Gotta go!” And she promptly hung up.

I stood out on the porch a long time after calling Adam, praying up into the starry night sky. Not with words but with my whole soul, clutching the book to my heart. Crickets began to whisper.

God, You are too good to me!
I thought, watching a shooting star explode over the mountains. A brilliant streak that glowed for a moment and then burned out into blackness. When I closed my eyes, I could still see the faint streak, luminous, like a memory.

One last flourish,
Mom had written. Life is so short, so fragile. And yet we hold it in our hands like a gift, making each moment our brightest and best. Giving our all to God until our last petal falls, and still we sing. One last flourish on this earth, to love, to live, and to open doors.

I still had one more phone call to make.

I picked up Adam’s cell phone, still warm in my hand, and dialed my dad’s number.

1. During Shiloh’s first visit to church she senses she’s losing her grip on “who she is”—leaving her trapped between the person she was in the past and the person she’s becoming. Has this ever happened to you? How did you come to terms with your “new” self?

2. When Shiloh’s world begins to shake, she says, “Wasn’t God supposed to … start me off easy?” Have you ever felt like this? What does the Bible say about the troubles Christians face in life (see John 16:33, James 1:2, 2 Corinthians 12:7-10)? Do you think it is unfair of God to test believers in this way? What might happen if God prevented Christians from deep suffering? Can you list any good that comes from suffering and difficulty in our lives?

3. At the beginning of the book, Shiloh is afraid to tell Kyoko that God has changed her life. What is she afraid of? Have you ever felt this way before—and if so, why? If you’ve ever experienced this, what did you do to face your fears, and what was the result?

4. Jamie Rivera tells Shiloh not to worry about being Kyoko’s friend as a new believer, but to “be yourself—yourself with Jesus.” What does she mean by this? What kind of impact do you think this kind of lifestyle and friendship could make on a person like Kyoko? Conversely, what actions or attitudes might have a negative impact?

5. Beulah says that God plans every detail of our lives, including where we work and who we meet. Do you believe this? Have you ever seen evidence of God’s obvious planning in your life, even when all your choices seemed “random”? What does this tell us about God and His care over the details of our lives?

6. At one point Kyoko suggests that Shiloh date Shane Pendergrass just to take advantage of his money. Do you agree with her suggestion? How does Shiloh reply to her? Have you ever been tempted to do something you know isn’t the best choice in hopes that the ends will justify the means? List some consequences that could come from Shiloh deciding to follow Kyoko’s advice.

7. Throughout the book, Shiloh often comments that Adam isn’t handsome and isn’t “her type.” How important do you think these qualities are when choosing a good spouse? List some qualities that are essential when choosing a good spouse, and explain why each one is so important. Do you see these values reflected in most searches for love and romance around you? Why or why not?

8. Carlos calls Shiloh “stiff” when she refuses to let him stay at her house or go up to his hotel room with him. Do you think this is a fair assessment? Why do you think she makes these refusals, and were they good or bad choices? If Shiloh had given in, how might the book have ended differently?

9. When Shiloh is standing outside the hotel with Carlos, she mentions how “easy” it would have been to go back with him and to believe the things he says even knowing they’re lies. Have you ever been tempted to do this? Why do we sometimes willingly choose to believe a lie? If we give in to this temptation, what have we sacrificed, and what impact can it make on the course of our lives? What should we do in a similar situation? Does ignoring the truth make it become somehow not a reality?

10. When Shiloh meets Carlos, she’s on guard against the influence his dazzling good looks and charm hold over her. Have you ever noticed the “power” good looks carry in relationships, literature, movies, business, and even in society? Why do you think this is? And why do you think we crave a spouse with good looks? Do you think good looks always reflect good hearts? What importance does the Bible give good looks (see 1 Samuel 16:7, Proverbs 31:30, 1 Peter 3:3-5) and what does it tell us to focus on instead?

11. Beulah tells Shiloh that Satan would like to destroy her life and witness simply because she believes in Jesus, and not because she’s an important pastor and missionary. Do you believe this? In what ways could Satan be successful in ruining the life of a normal, everyday Christian, and what effect would it have on those around her? What steps does Beulah give to guard against this? What else could a person do to remain strong in the Lord even against Satan’s schemes?