Like Sheep Gone Astray (6 page)

Anthony sat staring at the floor. “When I initially accepted the call to preach last year, God told me that I was going to have to make hard choices, far more difficult than any I had made before at Shaw. I didn't realize then the test that was coming.” Anthony drew his eyes slowly back to the pastor's. “You know how serious I've been about being successful.”

“There's nothing wrong with having money or status as long as we realize we are
stewards
of whatever He gives us. Everything we have belongs to Him.” Pastor Green nodded. “God has already
placed
us in a high status, a heavenly ranking, a position of authority in His Kingdom that comes with being born again. And He gives us blessings—both material and spiritual—so that we can add to His Kingdom and enjoy His abundance. Money and status are things God can give us to use for Himself.”

Pastor Green leaned forward in his chair. “But they are only of value for His Kingdom when we have the right perspective. That is, God and His purposes and not ours must come first.”

“You're right, Pastor,” Anthony stated. “I guess that's where I've fallen. Remember that last sermon Minister Porter preached before the cancer really took its hold, the sermon he gave on Luke chapter eighteen, verses eighteen through twenty-seven?”

“I remember.” Pastor Green closed his eyes as he spoke. “That was a powerful message. Bernard really brought to life the rich young ruler who asked Jesus what he had to do to inherit eternal life. He had honored the law and he was a good man by our standards. But when Jesus told him to sell all that he had and give to the poor and follow Him, the scripture says the man was very sorrowful.”

“As I would be too.” Anthony shook his head, a distant look etched on his baby-faced features. “To tell you the truth, I was relieved when Bernard explained how the issue wasn't getting rid of all of his riches to be saved, but rather, the state of his heart. What was more important to him, following Jesus or keeping his money? Had his money and prestige become a hindrance for him to trust and obey God? I listened to that sermon just like everyone else that Sunday. Said ‘Amen,’] ‘Hallelujah,’] even did a little two-step when Bernard gave his final point. Then the Lord flipped the script on me that very week, six months ago. He asked me what would I do with my money and my position when it came down to serving Him.”

Anthony's eyes dropped to the floor again and landed on the briefcase next to his feet. “Pastor Green, are you familiar with the new Stonymill light rail expansion that is being constructed?”

“Stonymill? Isn't that the project that was causing a big protest among several local civil- and social-service groups a while back? Something about the construction of the tracks interfering with plans to build a proposed community center, mission, and a substance-abuse treatment center?”

“Yes, Bethany Village is what it was called. It was a radical concept developed by some local businessmen and human-service workers that would transform an entire deserted city block into a haven for the young, the old, the poor, and the abandoned.”

“That's right! Bethany Village! How could I forget? I donated a lot of money to that cause. A local charitable group, Citizens' Alliance of Shepherd Hills, initiated it, right?”

“Yes, CASH, for short,” Anthony mumbled.

“I never did understand why the politicians changed their support for that worthwhile and crucial project,” Pastor Green mused. “Only our good member Councilman Walter Banks stood up against the opponents. I always wondered who talked the city board out of approving the final plans.”

“I did.” Anthony sat quiet for a moment, watching the confusion grow on Pastor Green's face before continuing. “Councilman Banks has been a friend and a mentor to me since my parents' death, and I'm ashamed to admit that I secretly went against him and all he taught me. When AGS Railroad approached Shaw Enterprises about leading their marketing campaign for the station extension to Stonymill Mall, I initially refused. I knew about Bethany Village, and in my heart I knew that it was a noble and necessary endeavor. CASH had even sought our services, but of course they could not offer the compensation that AGS Railroad could.

“I received pressure from both my company and the executives at AGS not only to accept the marketing campaign but also to lobby at the city and state government levels for its completion. In turn, someone anonymously gave me a total of one-point-five million dollars, some of which I used to ‘talk’] to a few of the politicians who supported Bethany Village.

“I know it was stupid of me to get involved, but all I could see was dollar signs. I didn't think of the illegality or the immorality of bribery and deceit. I justified it by convincing myself that Bethany Village could be built somewhere else. Of course I knew that the planned site for Bethany Village was the best, if not the only, location for it to be built in this area. I guess I just figured that God could open doors for them elsewhere, and I could use the money to do bigger things for the Kingdom. I even tried to donate some of the bribe money I received to CASH, but of course I didn't feel better.”

“Anthony—” Compassion sounded through Pastor Green's voice, but Anthony quickly interrupted.

“Pastor Green,” he cried, “do you realize that for the past six months I've been living a lie? When I accepted that bribe, I took on the burden of my life. And rather than giving it back, I passed it on, causing others to fall alongside me. I know that God is not pleased. Every day I wake up afraid that the whole thing is going to get out, that the wrong words will get into the wrong ears, the wrong papers into the wrong hands. Could you imagine if the media got involved? How could I preach? I don't know ... I can't…What do I…” Anthony's words faded as he bit hard into his lip, his shoulders shaking. “I wasn't thinking about how everything in my life could be ruined, not to mention the plans for Bethany Village. I'm sorry, God. I'm so sorry.”

Pastor Green's reassuring voice never quivered, although a slight question remained in his eyes. “I'm sure that you have gone to God to seek forgiveness. Repentance is more than an apology; it's a complete change in direction.” He stood up and walked to where Anthony was seated. He patted a hand on his shoulder before continuing. “And you must seek God's direction for coming clean before the church, the community, and the law. God promises to forgive and cleanse us, but that does not always mean that we avoid the consequences of our faults. But He will give us grace to endure them.”

As Pastor Green sat down next to him Anthony regained his composure. “I know what I have to do. I've known for quite some time. Talking to you was the first thing, although it took me this long to do it.”

“Do you know where the money originated?”

“No,” Anthony admitted with a shaking head. “And that's what disturbs me the most. It was an anonymous donation with careful instructions about how to distribute everything. The more I tried to find out who was behind the funds, the crazier my days at Shaw Enterprises became. That, in part, was why I resigned. I took that job over at Haberstick's as a stand-in until I can get this confusion sorted out. Then I'll get back to making some real dough somewhere else without all the unnecessary baggage. My gut was telling me that I'd gotten involved in something much deeper than I'd realized. There's more going on than the bribe. I just don't know what. I was right to quit. I was wrong to leave it at that.”

He reached for his briefcase as he continued. “None of the politicians or executives at Shaw or AGS know, but I kept meticulous notes of every transaction and conversation.” There was momentary silence as he flipped through some papers.

“You said that you know what you need to do.” Pastor Green looked contemplative. Anthony for once did not feel alone in his decision.

“Yes, Pastor Green. I've talked to you. Now, I must talk with the authorities. I need to expose this wrong for what it is. I know there will be some unhappy people before it's all over.”

Pastor Green nodded, glancing quickly at the business card Detective Kent Cassell had left on his desk.

“And the money that you kept?” Pastor Green inquired.

“Yes, the money.” Anthony blew out a loud breath. “I'm giving everything back, once I find out who to give it back to. I want every penny of it off my hands, even if it means losing everything I have.” Anthony sat quietly for a second.

“Pastor Green,” he started softly, slowly.

“Yes, Anthony?”

“It
will
mean losing
every
thing I have.”

“Does Terri know about all of this?”

Anthony blew out another loud, long breath. “No, I never told her anything. She just assumed the extra money came from bonuses and pay raises and enjoyed spending it on furniture for the new house. We've always kept separate accounts so she has no clue how much money I really have. I even tried to play it down, explaining that we could afford to buy only one new car instead of two. You know her tastes. She was so glad to see me turn in my old Mazda for that BMW, she didn't even question or care.”

Pastor Green was moving to his knees. “I think it's time that we pray and give this entire situation over to the Lord and ask for His strength to get through the coming season.”

“Amen to that.” Anthony nodded as he joined Pastor Green on his knees. As the elder minister began a long, spirited prayer for guidance and intervention, Anthony could not quiet the question that had kept him from this necessary meeting for the past six months.
How much will I have to lose to follow You?

“Help me, Jesus. Please,” he whispered.

Chapter 3

A
nthony sat rigid in the conference room, his hands clenched tightly together in his lap, his legs stiff underneath the massive table. Somewhere outside, a bird squawked noisily at the midmorning sun. Anthony listened to the screeching solo for a moment before allowing his mind to refocus on the long-winded speech being spewed by Garfield Haberstick.

Diane Martin, Mr. Haberstick's assistant, sat near the head of the table, scribbling down the older man's ideas, comments, and general observations concerning business, plumbing, teenagers, his prizewinning pet dog, and the rest of life. Anthony let his eyes wander around the medium-sized room. Many of his associates—or Garf's Groupies, as Anthony's office mate called them—were taking notes and nodding at Mr. Haberstick's aggressive assertions.

“…and Haberstick Associates will become the premier marketing corporation of this region.” Mr. Haberstick rose to his feet. “Under my leadership, I have watched this company grow from a small office in my basement”—he paced the room with his hands folded behind his back—“to what will soon be a multi-million-dollar powerhouse of the business community here in Shepherd Hills.”

Anthony did not miss the wink Mr. Haberstick threw him before continuing the rambling monologue. He tried to ignore what felt like rubber bands tightening around his forehead, but mental strangulation was difficult to disregard.

He thought of Terri, who had been asleep when he'd come home from meeting with Pastor Green the night before. She was still asleep when he'd left early for work at six-thirty that morning.
How long will she sleep so peacefully when she finds out what I have to do?
He had not decided whom he would talk to first, her or Kent Cassell. The detective's business card lay hidden safely within the pages of Anthony's Bible.

And then there was the matter of the missing letter. Anthony was both relieved and unsettled that the letter had not yet been found. What mattered most was who found it and Anthony was confident that it would show up in his belongings sooner or later.
If it was mixed up with Tern's things, she would have discovered it by now,
Anthony comforted himself. He knew that if Terri read the letter she'd be happy—ecstatic—that he was stepping down from the pulpit. But when she found out why…

Anthony looked at Mr. Haberstick standing beside the conference-room window. He studied the short, hunched frame of the older man, the age spots on his wrinkled hands looking redder in the beaming sunlight.
I'm not going to let this man pull my strings,
he decided. Anthony's confidence took a stab at rebuilding, his headache subsiding in a flurry of affirmation.
My decision six months ago to accept that bribe left me sidetracked. Now, Lord Jesus, I want to get back on the mainline with you.

Anthony quivered inside as he wondered how much he was about to lose, but his resolve grew slightly stronger as he reflected on how much he had lost already. Peace of mind was worth more than money. Somewhere inside of him, he heard his Aunt Rosa quoting one of her favorite verses, Proverbs 15:16: Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith.

For the remainder of the staff meeting, Anthony felt like a recharged battery. He even sat back comfortably in the springy, padded chair and shared a secret laugh with Marvin Tucker, who was imitating Mr. Haberstick every time he turned away.

When the meeting ended, Anthony decided to take up Marvin's idea of eating lunch at the Solomon Grill again. Anthony playfully shook his head as Marvin suggested they meet at the receptionist's desk.

“While you go and get your coat”—Marvin smiled—“I'm going to go introduce myself to the new honey working the front desk.” He stepped away in a slick sliding motion while gripping the sides of his leather jacket. Anthony shook his head again as he walked toward his office.

As he reached for his coat, he was surprised to see a sealed envelope sitting on his desk chair. He was even more surprised when he saw that the note inside had been handwritten and unsigned. The handwriting did not look familiar. Puzzlement gave way to alarm as Anthony read and re-read the two simple sentences scrawled on the paper.

You meet with Haberstick at two o'clock. You will make the right decision.

Whatever confidence he had claimed for the first half of the day was sucked away like water down a drain.

Terri Murdock sat back in the colossal brown chair, closed her eyes, and inhaled. She loved the smell. It was the smell of newness. New chair, new mahogany desk, new curtains, new pens, new business cards. New office. New title. She ran a finger over the gold nameplate her partners had given her as part of the office suite. They had
expected
her to close the deal that made her partner, she had realized when they'd surprised her with the impressively sized office that morning.