Like Gold Refined (9 page)

Virginia dished up the men’s food, and the two made their way to the table, Slate hobbling some but refusing help.

“Come on—let’s get you to bed,” Virginia called to the girls. “It’s already past your bedtime.”

They made their rounds of good-night kisses and turned to follow her. Just before they left the room to follow Virginia up the stairs, Martha turned to her father. “Mindy gave me Mama Jenny,” she said with satisfaction.

Jonathan frowned, and Virginia knew she would be asked to explain. But she would not do so now. “Come,” she said to her little brood. “You’re long overdue at the pillow station.” They trooped along after her, she cautioning them to be quiet since James had already been put to bed.

When Virginia looked in on them later, Martha and Olivia were already sleeping. But Mindy lay, eyes wide open, seeming to be in deep thought. Virginia lowered herself onto the bed beside the girl.

“Can’t you sleep?”

Mindy’s answer was to reach out and finger Virginia’s dress pocket as if she needed something to hang on to.

“I’m just thinking.”

Virginia brushed the hair back from the child’s face. “Happy thoughts … or scary thoughts?”

“Sort of … both.”

“Do you want to talk about them?”

Mindy hesitated and took a firmer hold on the dress. The wind had risen outside and the tree close to the house swayed, causing light and shadow from the window to alternate across the child’s face. Virginia thought that it must reflect what she was feeling inside.

“I feel happy that my Jenny mama is coming. But I feel kinda scared, too.”

“I understand. I feel like that, too.”

“I want God to answer my prayer. I want Mama Jenny to ask Him to forgive her for not loving Him and doing … what’s right. I really want that a lot. But … ”

She was silent again.

“But …?” prompted Virginia.

“But … I don’t know her, and I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“That I won’t like her. That she won’t like me.”

Virginia waited. “Is that why you gave her to Martha?” The head on the pillow nodded. Then she said slowly, “I shouldn’t have done that, should I?”

“Well, probably not. But Martha was just—”

“Do you think Martha would give her back if I asked her to?”

Virginia groped for words. “Honey, Martha won’t need to give her back. She is still yours. You … you can’t just give away … people.”

“She gave me away,” said the child simply.

Virginia’s breath caught. What could she answer?

“In a way,” she admitted honestly. “In a way she did. But that doesn’t mean she is no longer your mother. That you are no longer her daughter. The … the tie is still there. The relationship. It stays.”

The words did not seem to comfort the child.

“What if she wants me back?” Her voice was little more than a whisper. The thought chilled Virginia to the very core of her being.
What if she wants me back?
swirled through her mind and emotions. She drew the little girl close to her bosom and the child clung to her. “Honey … you are ours,” Virginia said. “You have been with us now far longer than you were with Mama Jenny. You are ours.”

Gradually Mindy’s grip on Virginia lessened. Virginia eased her back and kissed her forehead. “Do you think you can sleep now?” she whispered.

Mindy nodded and even managed a smile.

“I think I can.”

But Virginia’s troubling thoughts descended the stairs with her.

“I suppose I’m the one who will need to go pick her up.” Jonathan did not sound one bit happy as they prepared for bed.

“If you don’t mind,” responded Virginia.

“And if I do?”

He cocked his head to one side and gazed at her face. She knew he was not expecting an answer.

“I wish … I wish you didn’t feel so … so negative about this,” she said, her voice sounding tight and forced.

He made no reply. But after they had slid beneath the warm blankets, he reached over and drew her close to his side. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against her hair. “I’ve been pretty difficult about this whole thing. I’m sorry. She’s your friend … I know that. And you’ve prayed and tried to share your faith with her for … how long? Maybe you’re right. Maybe God is at work. I’ll … I promise you I’ll try.”

It was enough for Virginia. She returned his kiss, then sighed. “This has been one awful day. I’m glad it’s finally over.

I feel all wrung out.”

“Well, some good has come of it.” She heard the teasing in his voice and wondered what was coming next.

“And that would be?” she asked, already feeling drowsy.

“We get to have pie two suppers in a row.”

She gave his ribs a playful punch. “Don’t you count on it, my dear,” she replied in kind.

Jonathan came from the barn in plenty of time to clean up before meeting Jenny’s train. True to his promise, he did not make any more negative remarks. “Is there anything you want me to do or pick up while I’m in town?” he asked.

Virginia shook her head.

“Then I guess I’ll be off. Are you sure you don’t want me to take Martha? It would be nice to have some company.” They had already decided that Mindy should go to school as usual and see Jenny when she arrived home in the afternoon.

“It’s too cold, Jonathan. That wind has been blowing all night. There will be drifts. … ”

He conceded with a nod.

“By the way,” he said carefully, “have you explained to Martha that mamas are not something you can give away? I wouldn’t want her to say something embarrassing. For our sake … and for Mindy’s.”

“I … I hardly know what to say … but I’ll try. She was so disappointed when Mindy claimed to have something she didn’t.”

“So Mindy generously offered her the privilege.”

Virginia did not wish to go into that now. Mindy’s comment had surprised her, too. Now, after their little chat, she felt she understood Mindy’s feelings. But now was not the time to explain it to Jonathan. She said instead, “I called Mr. Woods this morning and invited him for supper.”

“Is he coming?”

“No, he said not.”

“I suppose it would be a bit awkward.”

“Maybe. He gave me another excuse, but I got the impression he really doesn’t care to come.”

“If Jenny has chosen not to let him know she’ll be in the area, he can hardly just show up. The surprise might not be a pleasant one.”

“I can’t imagine … I can’t imagine anyone not wanting to see her own father.”

“Maybe she will. Before she goes back, maybe they’ll get together. That would be another part of the answered prayer.”

“It would.”

“Well, I’d best get going. I don’t want that train to beat me to the station. Keep an eye on the barn, will you? If you don’t see Slate now and then, check on him. That leg is bothering him more than he’ll admit.”

The door closed and Virginia was alone. Alone except for chattering Martha, who was busy drawing a picture at the kitchen table while her younger siblings had their afternoon nap.

Virginia felt her stomach tighten as she gazed out the win? dow. It would not be long now, Lord willing. And no problem with snowdrifts across the roads. Jonathan should be back within the hour, and she would see Jenny again. It had been so long. What would Jenny be like? Would she still be hard and bitter—or were Mindy’s fervent prayers having an effect?

In the meantime she had a job to do. A job that she really didn’t know how to tackle. She crossed to the table and sat down opposite Martha.

“Do you like my picture?” asked the little girl, cocking her head to one side.

“It’s very nice.”

“It’s a snowman.”

“Yes, I could tell.”

“He’s got Slate’s hat on his snow head.”

“Yes, I can see it’s Slate’s.” Martha was surprisingly artistic for a child her age. And she had a pronounced sense of detail.

“Martha … ” Virginia took a deep breath. “I know that Mindy said that you could have her Mama Jenny. But mamas … mamas are not really something that we can pass on from one to another.”

“I can’t keep her?” Already the eyes were darkening. “No … no you can’t keep her.”

“Can I pretend?”

“Mama Jenny—” She stopped and started over. “You see … mamas and children need to agree on things like that. Mama Jenny might think that one little girl is enough.”

“But she does just have one little girl. Me. Mindy doesn’t want her anymore.”

“But Mama Jenny might still want Mindy. Don’t you see?”

Martha thought about that for a moment.

“You are my little girl. I would be very unhappy if you tried to give me away,” Virginia went on.

“I wouldn’t do that,” said Martha.

“But you can understand how Mama Jenny might feel. If she thought that Mindy tried to … to give her away … she might feel sad, too.”

Martha considered the words carefully. “Maybe we better not tell her,” she said at last, nodding vigorously.

Virginia felt relief wash all through her. “I think that’s a good idea. I don’t think we should tell her.”

CHAPTER 9

V
irginia looked at the wall clock so often it seemed the hands were not even moving. She felt agitated and nervous and found herself doing more pacing than actual work. You’ve got to stop this, she scolded herself.
You’re acting like a child—with no good reason
.

Her mother called. Virginia did not know whether or not to be thankful for the distraction.

“I was out to the farm yesterday,” Belinda told her. “My, I’m glad I went before the wind started blowing. The roads will be nasty today. I was really pleased about how things are going with Mr. Simcoe. I had been worried, but it seems—to this point, at any rate—that things are working out well. He’s even taken on the chores that Clare’s boys had to do. Hauling the wood and water and emptying the slops.

“Pa appears to enjoy having a partner for checkers. Mama—I do worry a little about Mama. She seems to feel she needs to be cooking for a guest now. Mr. Simcoe has a hard time getting her away from the stove. But maybe keeping busy—in moderation—will be good for her.

“While I was there Pa wanted to move from his chair to the table, and it was quite an easy thing for Mr. Simcoe to just take his arms and help him up. So much different from when Mama tried to boost him. I think it was easier on Pa, too. Mr. Simcoe is a fairly big man, used to hard labor, so he is strong enough. Poor Mama. It was a major task for her.”

Virginia decided her only role at the moment was to listen. Her mother seemed so relieved about the situation at the farm and she just wanted to talk.

“And he can drive the car, too. They won’t need to worry if supplies are needed from town. Or if for any reason a fast trip has to be made—an emergency—or anything. And if the weather is bad, he can use a shovel. Papa would have never been able to do that if they had gotten stuck in a drift.”

Virginia was able to offer little more than an occasional murmur to let her mother know she was still listening.

“Oh my. I forgot,” Belinda said suddenly. “Today is the day Jenny is coming. Is she there yet?”

“No—Jonathan has gone for her.”

“I hope they won’t have any trouble with the roads. Your father had to make a trip out in the country, and he just called and said the roads were really bad in spots.”

“Jonathan took the shovel.”

“Well, I won’t keep you. I know you must have work to do to be ready. Just wanted to let you know that things seem to be going well at the farm.”

Virginia thanked her mother for calling and turned back to the tasks at hand, her eyes once more on the clock. At least the hands had moved forward.

She remembered Jonathan’s request that she keep an eye on the barn. Slate was just moving one of the mares into the warmth after taking her to the watering trough. Thankful, Virginia turned back to the stove.

The rhythmic chug of the car’s motor finally announced they were back. She hurried to the window, trembling, and watched as Jonathan opened the passenger’s side door and a woman stepped out. Her face was hidden beneath the brim of a green felt hat. Jonathan closed the door and opened the trunk to retrieve a suitcase. They were talking to each other as they moved up the path to the porch. Jonathan looked pleasant enough, and Virginia found herself whispering a little prayer of thankfulness. She was so glad he had been able to lay aside his misgivings and be courteous to their guest.

Virginia wiped her hands on her apron, removed it, and tossed it on a nearby kitchen chair. She had the door open before they reached it and stood back, giving a little wave to welcome the woman inside.

“Jenny,” she said, trying to keep her voice from sounding as nervous as she felt. “Come in out of the cold. It’s freezing.”

She dared not say,
How good to see you
. Nor,
It’s been such a long time
. Jenny would find that maudlin. Neither did she dare move forward for a hug or a kiss on the cheek. Jenny abhorred emotional scenes.

Jenny moved in, brushing the snow from her shoulders as she did. Martha, at the table, had stopped her coloring. She stared openmouthed at this stranger who was Mindy’s Mama Jenny.

“I’ve got the coffee on,” said Virginia for something to say. Then rushed on, “ Take Jenny’s suitcase up to the first bedroom, dear.” The three girls had been moved to make room for the guest. They would be spending the next nights on makeshift beds on the floor in their parents’ room. Slate had volunteered to give up his room for the barn loft, but with the colder weather and Slate’s injured leg, Virginia would not hear of it.

Jonathan moved to do as bidden, and Virginia stepped forward as Jenny shrugged out of her heavy coat.

It was the first that Virginia had gotten a good look at her friend, who still had not said a word. It appeared that Jenny’s health had not improved. She was even thinner and paler than before, making Virginia even more nervous. She reached to hang up the coat and motioned Jenny toward the table. Martha still stared, absentmindedly sucking on the end of one of her coloring pencils.

“Jonathan will be right down,” said Virginia in an effort to find something to say.

Jenny moved forward slowly and sat gingerly across the table from the little girl who had followed her move closely. Martha’s eyes were big, her curiosity piqued.

At last she could hold back no longer. “Are you Mindy’s Mama Jenny?”

Jenny looked from the small child to Virginia and back again. She said nothing.

“Yes,” said Virginia, reading Jenny’s uncertainty. “We have no secrets around here.”

Jenny seemed to sag in her seat. She nodded. At least she was not going to make a fuss about the fact that they had been honest with Mindy.

Virginia poured the coffee. She was tempted to ask Jenny how she had been, but she didn’t dare. It was quite obvious that Jenny had not been doing well. If she wished to disclose that information, she would do so in her own time. Virginia was relieved to hear Jonathan’s step on the stairs. It would help to have another person at the table to make conversation.

“How were the roads?” she asked almost before he was in the door.

“Not good—in spots. But I only had to get the shovel out once. That patch of open land by the Blais farm. It blows pretty bad across there.”

He took a seat beside his young daughter, who was busy studying the woman across from her. She did not even seem to notice her father’s presence.

“So … ” he said. “You’ve been making another picture.”

She did manage a nod, but her eyes never left Jenny’s face.

“Looks like Slate’s hat.”

She nodded again.

“How is poor Slate going to keep his head warm when his hat’s in here?” Jonathan’s voice was teasing. Martha at last turned to him, her eyes twinkling. “That’s not his real hat. That’s silly.” She giggled.

Virginia was thankful for the bit of lightness in the room. Bless Jonathan for trying.

Jonathan eventually drove the team and cutter to the school to get Mindy. He didn’t want to chance the motorcar on the roads, and it was too cold for her to walk the distance. Virginia could not help but wonder what the conversation would be on the way home. Would they speak of Jenny?

And how would the two respond when they finally met again? Virginia’s nerves were so tight she jumped when Olivia called out that she’d had her “good sleep time.”

Jenny had been nearly mute. She seemed even more morose than in the past. Virginia did not want to press. But she did wish the tension in the kitchen would be reduced.

Martha had at last lost interest in the newcomer and gone back to her play. It must have seemed to the small child that Mindy’s Mama Jenny was not going to bring much excitement to the house—in fact, she was rather dull.

Virginia picked up Olivia, still rosy cheeked and bright-eyed from her nap. Olivia gave Jenny her full attention, eyes large with curiosity, then grinned.

“My,” Jenny surprised Virginia by commenting, “that one sure is Jonathan’s.” Her voice sounded husky, probably from her years of smoking. She put her hand to her mouth and coughed. Her entire frail frame shook, and by the time the spasm had passed, she looked watery eyed and spent.

“Does talking bring on a coughing spell?” Virginia asked with concern. If so, no wonder Jenny did not speak much.

“Not always,” said Jenny with a shrug of the thin shoulders. But she coughed again.

Virginia settled Martha and Olivia with milk and a piece of sugared bread. Then James announced his return from dream? land with some banging on his crib. Virginia hurried to get him. If she didn’t, he’d be trying to crawl over the side again. He’d already had two tumbles.

He, too, studied the woman at the table, then clung to his mother. James, their adventurous little troublemaker, was the most timid with strangers. Virginia was afraid he might start to howl.

“Look,” she said to distract him. “Martha and Olivia are having milk and bread. Would you like some?”

He still had his fists filled with her dress, one hand pulling at the bodice, the other tightly tugging on a sleeve. He lifted his head for one more look at Jenny, then buried his face against his mother’s shoulder.

“He’s a bit shy,” explained Virginia, though she knew his response needed no explanation.

She disentangled his fingers and placed him on the floor. He grabbed handfuls of her skirt and leaned into her so she could not even move.

“He’ll be fine—once he gets to know you,” Virginia explained. She attempted to pry him loose. “Papa and Mindy will soon be here. Listen. Can you hear the team?”

But even that would not distract baby James. Virginia was forced to pick him up again. She fixed his milk and bread with him in her arms.

The jingle of the harness did seem to catch his attention. His head came up and he forgot the danger of the woman at the table. He even pushed away, wanting to be set down again. Virginia lowered him to the floor and watched as he raced toward the door on sturdy legs.

Mindy did not appear alone. Jonathan was with her, one hand resting lightly on her shoulder. Mindy’s eyes traveled the kitchen until they rested on Jenny at the table. Neither said a word.

Say something
, Virginia wished to scream at the woman.
This is your daughter you’re facing
.

Jonathan urged Mindy forward. “Mindy,” he said, his voice firm but low, “say hello to your Mama Jenny.”

Without smiling, Mindy responded, her back obviously pressing hard against Jonathan’s hand. “Hello.”

Jenny nodded. Just nodded, her eyes scanning the young girl before her and then returning to her coffee cup.

“Mindy—change your school dress, and I’ll fix your hot cocoa,” said Virginia, trying to keep her voice matter-of-fact. Jonathan cast one glance Virginia’s way, then turned to go out to care for the team.

Mindy turned to the stairs, and three eager younger siblings followed along behind her. To the children, Mindy’s return from school was the highlight of the day.

“Did you see her?” Virginia heard Martha say excitedly. “She’s here. Your Mama Jenny.”

Virginia did not hear Mindy’s answer.

She turned to Jenny. “Mindy’s a good student,” she began, hoping to make some kind of connection—draw some kind of response from Jenny. “She always brings home a good report card.”

Jenny stirred. “I don’t suppose you’re going to let me smoke in front of the kids,” she said and coughed again. “Where am I to be exiled this time?”

“Jonathan has the heater going in the shed where he keeps the car. It’ll be warm. I’ve asked him to put a chair in there for you.”

Jenny gave a wry smile. “Planned ahead—did you?”

Virginia nodded. She had to admit it. Jenny left her seat and crossed to where her coat hung. She shrugged into it, coughing again.

She was going out the door when she turned back. “She’s grown” was all she said, but Virginia was thankful for the two simple words.

The children had been put to bed and the house was quiet. Virginia heated some apple cider and joined Jenny near the front-room fireplace. Even through the walls, the chill of the winter’s night could be felt. They stretched their feet toward the flicker of flame and sipped at the spicy cups.

Both Jonathan and Slate had retired early—something Jonathan hardly ever did. Virginia knew it was not fatigue that had taken him up the stairs but that Virginia and Jenny needed some time alone.