Light to Valhalla (41 page)

He brushed her aside
.
“Not now, Mother.”

“
Fix this,
Alex,” she grasped his forearm, the pointed end
s
of her vicious nails biting his flesh
.
“
F
ix this
immediately or
I will
rip you limb from limb myself.
”

He stopped, glaring down at her
.
“What would you have me do?”

“Get rid of that
, that… urchin,
and have a real son.
”
Without another word she turned on her brittle heel
s
and tapped away
.

A real son?
 
Alex stared after her
.
What the hell constitutes
a
real
son? 
Anger swelled in his chest
.
Being a bastard didn’t make Jack any less human
.
T
he
re was an excellent possibility the
boy sitting in his kitchen
was
Alex’s
own living,
breathing
flesh and blood
.
If that were the case he wouldn’t turn his back on the lad, but at what cost?

Heart thumping a
monumental
rhythm, Alex
mounted the stairs two at a time
, ignoring the dull throb in his thigh after all the exercise that morning
.
M
iserab
ly
he paced
down the hall to
ward
the chamber
s
he shared wit
h Charley
.
What the hell should
I
say to her? 
Given that he
still wasn’t sure what had transpired in the last ten minutes,
no suitable excuse
or explanation came to mind
.
The plausible thing seemed to tell her the truth except that he didn’t know what the truth was
.

Alex hesitated
.

Perhaps he shouldn’t go to her at all
.
Perhaps it would be best if he sorted it all out and uncovered som
e answers to the questions over
running his life
.
Granted keeping secrets had not exactly swayed her favor in a positive manner to now
.
He stuttered to a halt at a total loss for suitable words or action
to defend
himself
.

Defend
himself
…  Listen to him
.
It sounded as though he and Charley were at war when really
they should be together
.
Partners
.
S
o
mehow he seriously doubted Charley would agree with his logic
.
Alex stood
in the hall
, mulling over
his options for so long
his thigh began to throb, no closer to divi
ning a solution to his problems
.

A variable army of maids, filed down the hall and into Charley’s room, hal
t
ing the
never ending circle
of his thoughts
.
Intrigued he moved forward,
stopping in the open doorway
.
One of the gray clad
maids
slipped past him, arms laden with boxes
.
Three other servants bustled about the room, folding and packing, rearranging everything they’d unpacked two days ago.

“What are you doing?
”
Alex crossed his arms
.

Blatantly ignoring him
,
Charley
showed him her back and
lifted the lid on a heavy wooden trunk
.
“Trudy, I’d like these gowns aired out, brushed, and hung in the bureau for the Christmas season.”

“Of course, milady.”

“Charley?”
Alex needled
shifting
impatiently
.

The maid, Trudy, scuttled past him, obviously uncomfortable.

“Moving t
o another set of rooms,”
Charley
replied evenly without so much as glancing over her shoulder
.

Alex sucked in a torrential breath
.
“No,” he exploded
.
Charley and the other women jumped in unison
.
“
Absolutely not.
”
He
scooped the pile of gowns from
a
passing chamber maid and dumped them into a nearby chair
.
“Get out,” he ordered the
servants
.

Charley’s
worthless little brown dachshund growled from the corner then yapped twice
.
Even the damn dog was against him
.
F
our
gray and
white
clad
women glanced uncertainly between Alex and Charley.

“It’s a
l
l
ri
ght.
”
Charley nodded
.
“You
may go, and please take Willy with you.
”

The girls murmured a chorus of, “Yes, milady,” and hastily exited the room
—Trudy with the snarling Doxy
beneath her arm
.

Irritated Alex crossed his arms
.
In the army, he gave orders and they were obeyed immediately, almost before he could ask them
.
Here, in his own house, everyone looked to Charley
for the final say
.
He may be Lord of the house but he certainly wasn’t master
.
That would
change
.
Soon
.
Starting right now
.
“You’re not leaving, I forbid it
.”

Charley
slammed
the trunk
shut, and whirled
.
Hellfire flashed in her eyes
.
“
On what grounds are you permitted to forbid me anything?”

“You are m
y wife, Charley
.
It is m
y God
given
—”

“
Your wife?” she spat
.
“Your wife?
”
A deep, hysterical laugh
spouted
from her
.
She crossed her arms, turning her face to the ceiling
.
“Tell me, Alex, a
re you reminding me or yourself of the fact? 
I
,
for one
,
a
m getting damned tired of
you
repeating it
.
I have no difficulty remembering my marital status, but it seems
you have other women crawling out of the woodwork.
”

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration.”

“Is it?
”
She placed her hands on her hips
, flicking cold eyes back
to him
.
“
Was I your wife while you were carrying on with Mrs. Barcelona?
”

“I can explain about Bernadette.”

“Oh?
”
She quirked a menacing brow.

“As an unmarried, unengaged man I had a very
discreet,
casual
relationship with a matron that other men quite obviously frequented as well.”

“
Discreet?  Not hardly
.
Tell me, Alex, w
as I your wife while you were
away at war for three years without a word? 
Was I your wife while you wrote to other women
?  You never sent any letters to me, not one.
”

“Never wrote to you?” he cried incredulous
.
“I wrote you dozens of letters
.
I only stopped writing when I stopped receiving any back from you.”

Charley rolled her eyes
.
“Please, Alex, I haven’t received a letter from you since I was sixteen years old.”

He held up a hand, placating
.
“I admit that I stopped writing for a while after I visited for your seventeenth birthday, but that
was because I knew it was wrong to covet my brother’s betrothed.”

Her eyes widened at
his declaration
.

“That’s right, Charlotte, even then I wanted you, probably even loved you,
but you were not mine to have.
”
Common sense screamed to stop talking before he bared the raw truth of his emotions, but like the lovesick fool he was he plunged on
.
“After we married
,
t
hings were so awful between
us
,
my behavior was deplorable;
I didn’t
know what to
do
.
Everything changed
.
For all I knew
you
didn’t want
to hear from me
.
When I started getting letters from you I responded to them, but you stopped writing…” his voice drifted off.

Skepticism lined every facet of Charley’s beautiful face
.
“Stop lying, Alex
.
I am weary of your stories and excuses
.
It is time you realize I am not the silly
girl who once
believe
d
whatever tale
s
you weave
d
.”

“Charley, I’m not lying
.
I—”

She sliced a hand through the air
.
“Enough
.
You forget, husband, that I saw you last night
ki
ssing Veronica
on the
Brumble
terrace.
”

He ground his teeth
.
“
I explained about Veronica
.
I was discouraging her advances
.
She kissed
me
and I pulled away
.
If you had
truly
been watching, you would have seen that.
”

“You don’t really expect me to believe that?  Alex, you have done nothing but
spin
lie
s and
half truths
since the moment you came home and like a fool I—
I—
”
She hiccupped as t
ears splashed onto her cheeks
.

Ever
y
masculine instinct
screamed to go to her, take her into his arms
, and hold her until the tears stopped, until she laughed or smiled,
and
ceased
that miserable
trembling
.
“Charley.
”
In one long stride he closed the
distance between them, slipping his arms around
her.

“Don’t touch me,” she shrieked, leaping backward, wrap
ping her arms around her middle like
a wall to block his advances
.
“I can’t believe I let you touch me,” she sobbed
.
“I gave myself to you
in every way
.
I truly believed I could make everything better, that you
might really
lo
ve me.
”

“I do
lov
—”

Violently she shook her head
.
“Leave
me
.”

This was wrong
.
All of it
.
A huge
misunderstanding,
and he’d fix it if given half a chance
.
“I’m not going anywhere un
til you hear me out.
”

“There is nothing to hear, Alex
.
I tried to believe you, but this
morning
one of
your
by blows
appeared on my doorstep
,
and now…
”
O
nce again her eyes rolled
to the heavens as though imploring a higher power
.
“None of it matters anymore
.
It’s done.
”