Light Shadows (38 page)

“You don’t know what his M.O. is, Gabs. You just met the guy.”

“But I knew his sister. She died trying to protect me.”

Niko takes a few steps towards me, yet keeps a safe distance. “That’s not a good enough reason to trust him.”

I finally let myself look at him, but I can’t see past the red haze of wrath. “Yet, I’m supposed to trust you? Someone who admittedly has killed more people than he can count, including the woman he loved? Not to mention, attacked and nearly killed me as well.”

The blow of betrayal is strong enough to make Niko reel back several feet, grimacing as if I’ve just physically slapped him across the face. The pain in his expression is undeniable, making my own face contort as if I can feel the sting of my own words. I’ve hurt him. But even worse, I’ve reminded him of all the reasons he can’t forgive himself.

I’m a monster.

Nikolai Skotos is one of the strongest men I’ve ever known, and I’ve destroyed him in three sentences. I really haven’t changed. I haven’t grown at all since my ascension. I’m still that ruthless, callous bitch, willing to sacrifice the people she’s closest to for her own personal punching bag.

I’m propelled to last summer, walking downtown with Dorian. He was furiously protective of me, and frustrated that he couldn’t find my attacker. And what did I do as soon as he gave me an excuse to be pissy? I hurt him. I humiliated him. I made him feel weak and useless, when in reality, he is anything but.

Something is wrong with me. I need to be stopped. If I continue like this, I won’t have anyone left. And why should I? Why would anyone subject themselves to my verbal assaults?

I move towards him, my eyes pleading for forgiveness. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that,” I stammer, trying to get the words out as quickly as possible. Anything to erase that look on his face. “Niko, please. You have to believe me.”

He just stares at me, unblinking, as if he’s just now seeing me for what I am. As if I’ve been a wolf in sheep’s clothing this entire time, and someone has just pulled the wool from over his eyes. And maybe I am. Maybe the villain isn’t Stavros or Aurora. Maybe it’s me. People die because of
me.
People have had to uproot their entire lives because of
me.

Silence stretches between us, pushing Niko further and further away from me. His back hits the wall, making it blatantly clear that he wants to escape this room—escape me. I want to go to him, beg for his forgiveness, but I’m afraid. Afraid that I’ve lost him forever, just like Dorian.

“Say something,” I beg. I swallow, tasting bile. I’m so disgusted with myself, that I’m physically ill. “Even if you want to yell at me, call me a bitch, tell me I’m a miserable person. Just please…say something.”

He drops his gaze, leaving me in the cold where I belong. Then in the next second, he turns towards the door, and he freezes, his brow furrowed in concentration.

I hear it at the same time he does—the squeaky wheel of a cart. It bypasses rooms 1588 through 1602, stopping at 1604. My room.

I know those three knocks are coming, yet I still flinch. I’ll never get used to the sound of bare knuckles rapping against wood. It’ll forever haunt my dreams, serving as the menacing music played in my own personal horror flick.

Knock, knock, knock.

That’s the sound of Death calling.

Niko goes to look out the peephole, but turns back to me, shaking his head. Either there’s no one there, or someone is deliberately covering the peephole. Theory number one is quickly tossed out the window when someone knocks again, announcing, “Housekeeping.”

It’s 1:37 in the morning.

It is not fucking Housekeeping.

They’ve found us. Aurora, Stavros and now Dorian, have found us. And they want to remind us that there is nowhere to hide. They’ll keep sending Death to our doorstep. They’ll keep forcing us to kill innocent kids who have no control over their thoughts or actions. They want us to surrender—to come crawling back, begging for mercy. And right at this moment, I’m not sure if that’s such a bad idea.

There’s one last knock before the sounds of muted shuffling are heard from the other side of the door. There’s a quick struggle, a crunching snap and then silence. Dead silence.

The next round of knocks takes the breath out of me, but something compels me to flash to the door and whip it open. Call it intuition or a plain stupidity. But the moment I turn that handle, I know I am twisting open a whole can of worms that only a certifiably crazy person could deal with.

Niko leaps in front of me, shielding me with his own body, even after all I’ve said to him. But it’s too late. I’ve already seen what stands just inside that doorway, sucking up space and air with his massive frame.

It’s Lars.

And there’s a dead girl at his feet.

WE MUST’VE STOOD there for a good sixty seconds before anyone regained the function of speech or movement. Then, we were merely a whirlwind of chaos, talking over each other and frantically trying to figure out what to do next.

“You killed her!” I shriek, although it’s more out of surprise than anything else.

“I had to,” Lars retorts, flinging her lifeless body across the room. She lands unnaturally, her limbs folding like a paper sack. If her neck hadn’t already been broken, it would’ve been now. “If I hadn’t, she would have killed you.”

“Why the hell are you here anyway?” Niko asks accusingly, pacing the floor. He stops abruptly, spinning around to pin Lars with his pale blue eyes. “And how did you know she was infected?”

Lars goes to the quickly cooling corpse and pulls down the beige housekeeping uniform. In bold, black ink, the word
Mīsos
is etched in her skin. “I followed you here. I could smell the repugnant stench of Dark hatred from down the hall.”

Niko curses, going through the housekeeping cart to rummage for clues. “Mīsos is the Dark house of Hate. They produce venom that burns through flesh and bone like acid. I suspect this girl would have had something like that on her.”

“Be careful,” I warn, wringing my hands in front of me. Niko shoots me a tight, pained smile and nods. All is not forgotten and forgiven.

“I think I found something,” Lars announces, after flipping over the body. He lifts up a plastic spray bottle with just the tip of his fingers, holding it away from his body. “My money says this isn’t just disinfectant.”

“Only one way to find out.” Niko strides towards him and lifts a hand, causing the bottle to stay suspended in midair. Lars steps back quickly, unwilling to be a subject in Niko’s science experiment.

Guiding the movements of the bottle with his hand from a foot away, Niko turns the nozzle to the dead body. In the next second, a fine mist falls over her, looking like fresh, morning dew on a peacefully sleeping girl.

Until it begins.

Her skin begins to sizzle, bubbling with horrid blisters. The sores burst and ooze blood and pus, causing fluid to run down her face. But it’s not just vile-smelling liquid dripping onto the hotel carpeting. It’s her skin. Her skin and tissue melts right off her skeleton like bloody goo, creating a smoking pile at the base of her now exposed skull.

I take off for the bathroom, the sight and smell of burning flesh conjuring the remains of hamburger and champagne from my gut. Even after I’m sure I’m completely empty, I stay planted to the floor, leaning against the cool porcelain of the tub.

“You can come out now,” Niko calls from the other side several minutes later. “Lars got rid of it and I was able to clean up out here.”

“Why did you do that?” I croak, my throat dry and sore.

“I had to test it,” he says, his voice closer. There’s a shuffle against the other side of the door as if he’s just sat on the ground and leaned against it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sick.”

“Don’t apologize. You of all people should never apologize to me. I don’t deserve it.” There’s silence, and I imagine the pained look in Niko’s eyes from just minutes earlier. “I’m sorry, Niko. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You’ve always been so good to me, and I…I don’t want to lose you. I
can’t
lose you.”

“You’ll never lose me, baby girl. Never.”

“Promise?”

“I promise on everything I’ve ever loved and lost. I promise on every star in every universe from here to infinity. I’m not going anywhere.”

I smile, closing my eyes as the cool smoothness of the bathtub soothes me into exhaustion. It’s been a helluva day. I’m not even sure how I’ve held up this long.

I’m only slightly aware of the sounds of rustling outside the door before it clicks open. Then I’m being lifted up from the floor.

“No,” I protest, covering my mouth with a hand. “I have to brush my teeth.”

“Ok,” Niko chuckles. “That’s probably best.”

“Shut up.”

He lays me down on the bed, pulling back the covers before gently folding my legs between the sheets. Through hazy eyes, I watch as he goes into the bathroom, emerging just seconds later with my toothbrush, a drinking glass and a bottle of water.

“Here. Let me help you,” he murmurs, his voice smooth and soft as silk. I try to reach for the toothbrush, but he bats my hands away. And honestly, I’m too tired and weak to fight him.

“I can do it,” I whine. But just as I say the words, I feel myself in and out of slumber.

Niko ignores me, fastening my chin between his fingers as he opens my mouth. Then I feel soft bristles covered in mint, lightly stroking my teeth and gums. He’s brushing my teeth. This supposed evil, murderous being who has seen and done unspeakable things, is brushing my teeth for me. When he’s done, he gingerly cradles my head, before inserting a small mouthful of water. I’m barely conscious when he tells me to spit into the glass, which I somehow manage to do without making a mess.

“Sleep, sweetheart,” I hear him murmur, tucking me under the comforter. The light that shines through my eyelids dims with the click of a lamp.

I’m falling, grasping onto the corner pages of an elaborate dream when I feel soft, warm lips brush across my forehead. Then, I don’t feel a thing.

THE ONLY WAY I know it’s morning is the red flashing numbers on the bedside clock. 9:03am. I slept through the night. For the first time since God knows when, I slept soundly, damn near peacefully. And I know why too. I’m just not ready to acknowledge it.

There are arms around me.

Strong, warm arms, wound around my body protectively. Holding me. Cradling me.

There’s cool breath tickling the nape of my neck in a rhythmic pattern. And when I lean back just a fraction, I brush against a rock hard wall of smooth, bare skin.

This shouldn’t bother me, and it doesn’t. This shouldn’t confuse me, but it does.

I want to stay here. I want to just stay under these covers and live in the safety and solitude of Niko’s arms. I want to remember the way he cared for me last night, and laugh at how silly I must’ve looked. And when we wakes up, his hair a messy, black halo, I want to see that sleepy smile of his, because I know it will make me smile right back at him.

But girls that just lost the love of their life don’t jump into bed to cuddle said love’s younger brother. It’s just wrong, no matter how right it feels.

I take a resigning breath before trying to peel Niko’s arm from around my waist. Just as I think I’ve got it, he tenses, pulling me in closer, so close that I can easily feel his morning erecti0n pulsing against my ass.

Holy. Shit.

“Don’t go,” he murmurs. “Stay a little longer.”

“Niko, let me—,”

“Please, Amelie. You said you wouldn’t leave.”

Amelie?
Oh God, he’s dreaming.

“If you love her, you will save her.”
An anguished sound cracks his voice, which comes out in a weak tremble. “Please, come back. I’m sorry. Don’t leave me.”

Niko sobs, the noise causing him to wake with a jerk. I try to stay completely still, not wanting to embarrass him.

“Shit,” he groans, rolling away from me. The loss of his body heating mine makes the room plummet 20 degrees. I turn around slowly, pulling the covers up to my chin. Niko lies flat on his back, a hand over his eyes.

“Good morning.” I know it’s somewhat contrived, considering what I just heard, but what else am I supposed to say?