Lifted (19 page)

She was so full of conflicting, tangled-up feelings that didn’t know what to do. This sticky mess of emotion clung to her insides like treacle. If she tried to vocalise it she knew it would only come out, wordless, in an ear-splitting scream. Instead, she spun about her room like a demented insect, until she’d burned up so much energy
that she collapsed on her bed and lay there breathing hard for several minutes. Then, in a panic, she printed out Noah’s email twice. After all, if he was able to delay its arrival with his technical wizardry, who was to say that he wasn’t also able to make it self-destruct after she’d read it?

When she’d calmed down a little she began to think more rationally. All day, people had been saying that Robyn Hood had handed
herself
in; they must, unknowingly, have been talking about Noah. Who else knew the truth? Was it on the internet already? Had it been there all day? Why hadn’t she persisted in finding out? She sat down at her computer and did another search. The story was everywhere now, all over the web.

The mystery of the identity of the shoplifting blogger known as Robyn Hood appears finally to have been solved. This morning, a youth handed himself into London police, voluntarily. He is believed to be a teenage boy, not a girl as previously suspected. He is also helping the police with other matters relating to credit card fraud and internet security. It’s unknown whether his name will be released.

So Noah’s name wasn’t out there yet. Was it just a matter of time, or could she still do something to stop it? Like her, he was still only fifteen. Sometimes the media wasn’t allowed to reveal your name if you weren’t an adult. Maybe it would all still be OK. She had Noah’s email, and it proved that she was the guilty one, that he
was just covering for her. Noah hadn’t thought of that when he sent it, had he? Maybe she could go to the police station right now, with the email and the stolen cardigan and hand herself in too. If she talked to her dad, she could get him to say he’d agreed to pay for the tops, and then Noah wouldn’t have done anything wrong at all. Noah didn’t deserve to be punished when her dad hadn’t even noticed the money was missing. How could he not have questioned spending all that money in a woman’s clothes shop? Didn’t he look at his credit card statements?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of an instant message on her computer screen. It was Amanda.

– Oh my God, Ruby! Have you heard about Noah Baker? Turns out he’s Robyn Hood!

So, it was already too late. If Amanda knew, Noah’s name must have got out. Ruby felt a rush of nausea.

– Who told you that?

– Everyone’s talking about it at school. One of the lads has a brother who’s a policeman and he let it slip. Best gossip ever! I’d never have guessed it in a million years. What a freak! Pretending to be a girl – you couldn’t make it up. He’s seriously twisted.

Ruby imagined what it would be like at school the next day, when the news had spread. Hideous. Whatever happened, Noah would never be able to go back there. He’d ruined his life for her. And she hadn’t even had the guts to tell her friends she was seeing him. She was hurt that Amanda had called him a freak. That was what
everyone would be thinking now, wasn’t it? Noah wasn’t a freak, he was an amazing person, a better friend to her than Amanda would ever be.

– Leave him alone
, she typed, and logged off. She wasn’t angry with Noah any more, she was furious with Amanda and, most of all, with herself. She lay down on her bed and waited for the inevitable phone call. Amanda and Hanni were just like Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Amanda would have rung Hanni the second she realised Ruby was upset, and they’d be discussing her right now. Hanni would be reassuring Amanda that she’d done nothing wrong, and then she’d volunteer to call Ruby to find out what was going on. I give her five minutes, Ruby thought, maybe ten.

‘Ruby, what’s going on?’ asked Hanni, after just seven minutes. ‘I’ve spoken to Mand and she said you were all funny with her and then you went offline. She told me about Noah, obviously. That must have been a shock! God, he really is a weird stalker after all! And he’s been living across the road from you all this time. You’re lucky he didn’t do anything to you! Oh my God, I’ve just remembered he came into your bedroom when I was in there. Eugh! Creepy!’

‘Don’t you dare say anything bad about him,’ Ruby warned Hanni. She felt so furious that she was trembling. ‘Or I’ll put the phone down right now.’

‘Jesus, Ruby, what’s got into you? Your voice sounds so mean it’s scary.’

‘I don’t like people saying nasty stuff about Noah, that’s what.’

‘I know he was your friend and all when you were a kid, but he’s turned out to be a complete psycho. You should be pleased you found out the truth. Why are you worried what people think of him?’

‘Why do you think? Because I like him. He’s my friend. If I turned out to be Robyn Hood, would you stop talking to me? Would you think I was a freak and a weirdo?’

‘No, course not. But that’s ridiculous, anyway. It wouldn’t happen.’

Just you wait and see, thought Ruby. ‘Well, neither is he.’

Hanni paused. ‘Oh my God, Rubes,’ she said, her tone incredulous. ‘It’s all starting to make sense now. You really do like him, don’t you?’

‘Yes,’ said Ruby, finding courage from somewhere. ‘I
really
like him.’ The words she’d been holding back for weeks, barely acknowledging herself, began to spill out of her. She felt light-headed and breathless, her voice shaky. ‘And the truth is I’ve been seeing Noah for months.’ Now her honesty had its own momentum; she couldn’t stop. ‘And you know what? I think he’s amazing. Not a nerd or a geek, but gorgeous and kind and clever. He’s way better than me, or any of us.’

Hanni was struck silent, an event which occurred so rarely that, in different circumstances, Ruby would have
savoured it. ‘You’re having a laugh,’ she said eventually, but it was clear from her voice that she didn’t believe her own words. ‘You’re taking the piss.’

‘No,’ said Ruby. ‘No, I’m not. It’s the truth. I swear on my life. I’ve been wanting to tell you for ages but I saw what you all thought about him, and I couldn’t. Well, now you know.’

She hung up the phone before Hanni could reply, her hands shaking so much that she struggled to find the button. She couldn’t quite believe what she’d just done – it was either the best or the craziest speech she’d ever made. Had she just wrecked her closest friendships? She was so exhilarated, so high on adrenalin that, in that moment, she felt it didn’t matter. If her friends truly cared about her, they’d understand. If they didn’t, then they weren’t worth her friendship, were they?

There was no time to worry about it now. She had important things to do, and her mum would be home from work very soon. She looked at her watch. If she was going to go, she had about half an hour to prepare herself.

She changed out of her school uniform into her most flattering jeans and her favourite green jumper, brushed her hair and put on some make-up, covering up her zits as best she could. Then she put the stolen cardigan into a plastic bag, together with a copy of Noah’s email, and she scribbled a short note, explaining and apologising to her parents. She left them all on the kitchen table. She
wasn’t sure when she’d be back, or if she’d have a chance to call.

There were hordes of people waiting outside the police station, many of them holding cameras and notebooks. They looked cold and frustrated, as if they’d been standing around for hours. Ruby pushed past them, through the entrance doors and into the waiting room. She felt nervous now, wobbly, unsure whether she was doing the right thing.

‘Can I help you?’ asked the officer at the front desk. He seemed too old and too fat to be a policeman.

‘I’m just waiting for someone,’ she said. ‘For Noah Baker.’

‘I see,’ he said, peering at her quizzically. She clearly wasn’t a journalist. ‘You should really be outside. Your name?’

‘It’s Robyn,’ she said. ‘Are you going to let Noah out soon? Are you charging him with anything?’

‘I can’t give out that type of information, I’m afraid. Now, if you don’t mind waiting outside with the others.’

‘OK,’ she said. She took a deep breath. ‘But I’ve got some evidence, it might be important.’ She reached into her jacket pocket and took out a piece of paper, unfolding it, and smoothing out the creases. ‘Here.’

‘Leave it on here and I’ll make sure the right person gets it,’ said the policeman. ‘Robyn, did you say?’ He raised his eyebrows.

‘Yeah, that’s right,’ she said. ‘Robyn, with a “y”.’ She left Noah’s email, still folded, on the desk. ‘Please can you tell Noah I’m here. I’ll be waiting outside if you need me …’

She turned and walked slowly to the exit. The throng was still outside, the journalists and photographers jostling each other to catch sight of whoever was coming out. A few hopeful flashes went off, then died away. Self-consciously, Ruby made her way back into the pack and waited. She didn’t know what else to do. Minutes passed, or maybe hours; she’d lost all sense of time. At last, the doors opened and she watched as Noah walked outside, his parents a few paces behind him. He looked sullen but unashamed, and so grown-up, so handsome. Ruby felt a rush of pride. He’s mine, she thought, everyone wants him now, but he cares about
me
. Then the crowd surged behind her and swallowed her up.

‘Noah!’ she cried, raising her arms, helplessly. She couldn’t see through the blur of bodies and flashes. ‘I’m over here!’

He didn’t hear her, or if he did, he didn’t respond.

‘Do you know him?’ asked the reporter standing next to her.

‘Oh yes,’ said Ruby, smiling up at her. ‘He’s my boyfriend.’

‘Interesting.’ The reporter’s pen was poised above her notepad. ‘Tell me more …’ she said.

Ruby watched out for Noah through a crack in the living room curtains. If she craned her neck she could just see up to his bedroom window. She had been watching for hours, waiting and hoping to see him, but he hadn’t appeared. She’d caught glimpses of other faces, unfamiliar, serious-looking men, who must had been dismantling his computer equipment, because a little later she’d seen the same men carrying out boxes to a black car and driving away. She guessed they were police, gathering evidence to take back to the station. Strange people had been going in and out of Noah’s house all evening. Now it was dark and the visitors had stopped coming. It was funny that she had never noticed before how quiet her street was. It made her feel even more alone.

Her mum had found the package and called her dad,
just as she’d expected. They had been waiting to ambush her in the hall when she got home from the police station. Mum looked as if she’d been crying a lot, which made Ruby feel guilty. She wondered if her dad had comforted her, or if he’d looked away in embarrassment, like he usually did. They hadn’t shouted much this time; it had all been said before. Ruby was just relieved that finally they accepted her story. Her dad had gone home now. Tomorrow morning, they would all go down to the police station together. By then, the newspaper would be out. And what would happen to her after that was anybody’s guess.

For now, she had been grounded for a month, her mobile phone confiscated and her own computer removed from her bedroom, which meant she couldn’t even chat to her friends. Not that she was sure they would be talking to her any more, anyway. It struck her that she didn’t care much. All that mattered was what Noah thought. All that mattered was that he still wanted her. There was so much she needed to say to him, and so much lost time to make up for. Her longing for him was almost like a physical pain, bursting out of her, stretching her bones and her skin. They could send her to jail, make her do community work, take away all her things; as long as she hadn’t lost Noah.

At about ten o’ clock, she heard the sound of a car pulling up outside and she felt a surge of adrenalin in her chest. Through the gap in the curtains she could just
make out Noah, silhouetted against the back window of his dad’s estate car. He was sitting absolutely still. She watched as his parents got out of the front doors, slamming them shut, and his dad walked around to the back to open the door for Noah, as if he were a young child again. Noah seemed to hesitate for a moment before climbing out. Ruby wanted to shout to him, to run out of her house to greet him, but she knew she couldn’t. Instead, she opened the curtains wider and pressed her face up against the window. Please turn around, she prayed silently, please turn around.

Ruby stared at Noah’s back as he followed his parents along the short path to his house. When they reached the front door, the security light came on, and she could see him clearly: tall and slender and gorgeous. His parents disappeared inside, leaving him alone for a moment on the doorstep. And then, just as Ruby was about to give up hope, he turned around and looked directly at her. He held her gaze for a few seconds, so intensely that it took away her breath, and then he smiled and nodded, before slowly turning away and closing the front door behind him.

Big thanks to Stephanie Thwaites at Curtis Brown, and to the team at Piccadilly Press: Brenda Gardner, Anne Clark, Melissa Hyder, Margot Edwards, Vivien Tesseras, Geoff Barlow, Lea Garton, Simon Davis and Geoffrey Lill. Eternal love and gratitude to all my fabulous friends and family, especially to Steve, Mum and Dad, and Judy. Thanks to the Owl Bookshop, Kentish Town for putting on superb launches. Cheers to Rick Bronks of Satureyes, for his services as a photographer (and his software). Thank you to Dr Jessica Baron for fixing me up and to Professor Robert Reiner for the criminology lesson. And finally,
merci beaucoup
to all my friends at the Citea Nice Magnan, without whose hospitality this book would still not be finished: David, Marlene, Aurelie, Julie, Sylvain, Remi, Farid, Najar Karim and Super Mario. (See, I told you I would!)