Life's a Beach (26 page)

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Authors: Claire Cook

Tags: #Humorous, #Fiction, #Romance, #Humorous fiction, #Massachusetts, #Sisters, #Middle-aged women, #General, #Love Stories

BOOK: Life's a Beach
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He walked right past me and handed a glass of champagne to my sister. “There you go, birthday girl,” he said. “By the way, what are you doing for the next fifty years?”

My sister giggled and flipped her hair around. “Oh, thank you, Timmy. Find a date for my husband and a babysitter who drives, and I’m all yours, big guy.”

“Cheers,” he said as he clicked his champagne glass to hers.

“Timmy?” I said to no one in particular. When had my sister learned to flirt like that, and why hadn’t I been taking notes? The gaffer was actually being kind of sweet. What a nice birthday present to give to a fifty-year-old married mother of three. You almost couldn’t tell it was basically a sympathy flirt.

I turned around to go get my own drink.

Since it was my sister, I figured I really had to stay around for the cake, but I couldn’t wait to get back to my room. I hung out with the bartender for a few minutes, and talked her into saving me some of the interesting bottles. They were serving sparkling water in these great cobalt blue bottles, and I was dying to get my hands on some.

“There you are,” Geri said. She stood beside me at the bar, and the gaffer walked around to stand on her other side. “I can’t believe Manny sent all this stuff over. That was so nice of him.”

I ignored the gaffer, not that he seemed to notice. “Where’s your friend Allison?” I asked Geri.

“Oh, she’s got some more balloons to blow up. And she wants to wait on the cake so everyone has enough time to enjoy looking at it before we cut into it.”

I yawned.

“More champagne, gorgeous?” the gaffer asked.

I held up my full glass before I realized he was talking to my sister. I put it down fast, but possibly not fast enough. He smirked.

“Thanks, handsome,” she said. “But I think I’ll switch to water. Ginger’s probably dying to get her hands on some of those blue bottles.”

 

28

“IS IT ALMOST TIME FOR THE CAKE?” I ASKED.

Allison Flagg looked at her watch. “Let’s just give it a few more minutes.” She slid the cake a quarter of an inch to the right and straightened one of the candles. “I think the dance people are here. I told them to bring a boom box and some party music. Is there anything you want me to request?”

I looked over at the gaffer and smiled. “ ‘Just a Gigolo’?” I suggested.

He smiled back. “How about ‘Hey Jealousy’?”

“Oh, I know, how about ‘YMCA’?” Geri said. “It’s Riley’s favorite.”

“Just shoot me now,” I said.

Allison Flagg took off to find the dance people, and I tried to think of an exit line. “So,” Geri said. “Isn’t this the best party?”

“Mmm,” I said. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Which one of you is older anyway?” the gaffer asked.

“Oh, you,” Geri said. She gave her hair another flip.

“Dad!” Riley yelled from across the room.

“Ohmigod!” Geri said. “Seth! And the girls! And Mom and Dad!” She detached herself from the gaffer and handed me her empty blue water bottle.

“Sorry about your girlfriend,” I said to the gaffer, even though I knew it was childish. The first notes of “YMCA” blasted out.

MY MOTHER AND FATHER
were dancing up a storm. Rachel and Rebecca tried to resist. “This is so dorky,” Rachel said.

“Totally,” Becca said.

“Okay, just this one song,” Rachel said.

Seth and Geri were dancing away, too, and even though Seth kept messing up the letters on “YMCA” and he really should have changed out of his suit and into something more casual, I could almost imagine living next door to him.

“Wanna dance?” the gaffer asked.

“I don’t think so,” I answered.

He smiled.

I walked into the middle of the dance floor, which was actually the patio area next to the pool. Riley and the two Macks had a pretty good conga line going, so I jumped onto the end of that, right behind Manny’s mother. Every time we’d hear the four beats that signaled the YMCA part was coming, we’d all drop our arms and face the middle.

As soon as the song was over, I found my parents. They were holding hands and actually swinging them back and forth.

“Toots!” my father said when he saw me.

“Hey,” I said. I gave them each a hug, then pulled back to read my mother’s T-shirt.
BODY PIERCING SAVED MY LIFE
it said in discreet purple glitter letters.

“You’re kidding, right?” I asked.

My mother held the hem of her T-shirt and stretched it down so I could get a better look. “Like I always say, keep ’em guessing.” She winked at my father and wiggled her hips a little.

My father grabbed her and they tangoed a few steps, even though Kool & the Gang was singing “Celebration” now. When he dipped her, her head almost touched the ground. She was amazingly flexible for a woman her age. All that yoga was really paying off.

“Hey, Dollface,” he said, after they remembered me and tangoed back. “What about mine? I made it all by myself.” My father let go of my mother and stretched out the fabric on his worn white T-shirt. In wobbly black marker, he’d written,
I KNOW MY RIGHTS
.

“Your father,” my mother said, “got himself into a little pickle.” She leaned over and gave my father a kiss on the lips.

“It was a big pickle, Toots,” my father said. “They arrested me and everything. I loved every minute of it. Do you know they don’t have handles in the backseat of those copper cars? You’re in there till they get good and ready to let you out, I kid you not.”

“It was like being back in the sixties,” my mother said. She leaned over and kissed him again.

“Excuse me,” I said. “But do you think you could stop being disgusting long enough to tell me what happened? Either that, or you might want to consider getting a room.”

My mother and father actually giggled. “We already have a room,” my mother said.

“For the whole night,” my father added. “Hot diggitty.”

I couldn’t believe it. “What about Boyfriend and the kittens? You said you’d watch them.”

“Relax,” my mother said. “One of our friends is stopping by to give them fresh food and water.”

“She’s not my friend,” my father said. “Not until she starts keeping her hands to herself, anyway.”

“Oh, you,” my mother said. She kissed him again.

“I hate to interrupt,” I said. “But you still haven’t told me what happened.”

My parents tore themselves away from each other. “Okay,” my mother said. “The way it happened was that there’s a thirty-minute antiloitering rule in the Take It or Leave It section of the dump.”

“No, Toots, it’s more than a rule. It’s a genuine Town of Marshbury law I broke. But I know my constitutional rights. I can gather in a public place anytime I damn well feel like it.”

“My hero,” my mother said. “So, to make a long story short, they kept giving him tickets for staying too long, and he ignored them.”

My father wiggled his bushy white eyebrows. “I mean, I was already at the dump, so how hard could it be to dispose of the evidence?”

“And then, the other day,” my mother said, “they decided to give him a police escort home.”

“And we’re taking this all the way to the Supreme Court if we have to,” my father said. “You can bet on it, Toots.” He put his arm around my mother’s shoulders. “Your mother and Champ and the babies and I have been all holed up at your place, planning our strategy.”

My mother put her arm around my father’s waist. “It’s more than a little bit romantic,” she said. “It reminds me of our first apartment, right after we got married. We’ve even been talking about selling the house to Geri and Seth and moving in there for good.”

“Excuse me?” I said. “What about the townhouse? What about
me
?”

“After you get yourself settled, of course, Dollface,” my father said.

“Sure, not a problem,” I said. “I’ll just go sleep on the street.”

My father elbowed my mother and pointed to Manny’s mother. “Don’t look now, but I think I see that Ann-Margret over there. Not that I’m interested or anything, but I know you’re a big fan of hers, Toots.”

WE ALL GATHERED AROUND
the cake while Allison Flagg lit the candles. She started at one end and worked her way slowly from left to right, stopping after every second candle to blow out the match and carefully add it to the fan shape she was creating on a pink napkin with the other blown-out matches.

“Holy crap,” I said mostly to myself. “If she keeps this up, we’ll be here all night.”

“Now, now,” the gaffer said. I looked over at him. He smiled. I took a big step away.

Finally, the candles were lit and everybody sang “Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you all so much,” Geri said when they finished. Tears were streaming down her face, which made my own eyes tear up, despite my best intentions. “This is the most wonderful birthday party I’ve ever had.” She pointed to a pile of presents, most of them brought in by Seth and the kids and my parents. “Can I save these for tomorrow so I’ll have something to look forward to?”

“It’s all ahead of you, Toots,” my father yelled. “Just you wait and see.”

I didn’t even stick around for a piece of cake. As soon as the Beatles started singing their song about saying it’s your birthday, I figured it was safe to head out to the lobby to check on those fishing swivels. If I could get my hands on some, maybe I could try making a sample brace-let tonight.

“So, where are we going next?” I heard the gaffer say behind me. He caught up to me in the middle of the lobby and matched his steps to mine. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him start to put his arm around me, then change his mind and put it back down again.

I stopped walking and crossed my arms over my chest. “What is your problem?” I asked.

He crossed his arms over his chest and grinned. “You give a whole new meaning to the word
jealousy
,” he said.

I glared at him. “Jealous?” I said. “Me? Oh, puh-lease. Of what?”

He squinted and tilted his head back and forth. “So, which one of you is older anyway?” He uncrossed his arms and hooked his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans. He grinned.

“And to think I used to have a crush on you.”

He laughed. “You should have seen your face the minute I started paying attention to your sister. I have three sisters, so I know how it goes. Wait, you really did have a crush on me?”

“Maybe a little,” I said. “But I’m over it now, thank you so much. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some fishing swivels to hunt down.”

He burst out laughing. “Come on, just sit for a minute. Please? I was only trying to make you see that you’re really crazy about me.”

“You wish,” I said.

“Yeah,” Tim Kelly said. “I do.” He pointed to an oversize bark-covered love seat sitting next to the fountain in the middle of the lobby.

“You know, we’ve already been though all this,” I said. “I thought we decided we were just going to be friends.”

“Where did you get that? We decided you were going to call me as soon as you were ready. I was just trying to push up the timetable.”

The bark-covered love seat was surprisingly comfortable. Tim Kelly put his arm around me. I picked up his hand and handed it back to him.

“Sorry,” he said. He sat on his hands. I laughed.

“Made you laugh,” he said. “Oh, by the way . . .” He stopped and looked over the back of our love seat. He leaned a little closer, until his head was practically touching mine. “I overheard two of the producers talking while I was in the men’s room,” he whispered. “The head honcho at the studio just got fired. Looks like they’ll probably cut what they have and send this movie right to video.”

“Oh, no,” I said. “Does Manny know?”

Tim Kelly shrugged. “I don’t think so. Poor guy.”

“At least his mother’s here,” I said. Riley would probably be just as excited about having a video, but I really felt bad for Manny.

Our bark-covered love seat was facing the mammoth rough-hewn wooden front door, and the lumberjack doorman had been leaning back against the wall next to it, with his fishing pole leaning back beside him. He stood up straight now and swung the fishing pole over his shoulder and reached for the door.

Tim Kelly’s head was still inches from mine, which meant his lips weren’t much farther away. Maybe just one more kiss wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen.

The doorman held the door open and Noah walked into the lobby.

I jumped up. “Noah!” I yelled.

He stood right where he was. He was wearing a new long-sleeve denim shirt and dark cargo pants, and he had even shaved.

I stood right where I was, too. I could feel myself blushing. If I were a magician, I would have made Tim Kelly disappear right before everyone’s eyes. Instead, he stood up and cleared his throat. He took a few steps toward Noah, so I did, too.

“Noah, Tim. Tim, Noah,” I said, for lack of a better idea.

Noah held out his hand.

The gaffer shook it. “Ah,” he said. “The monk.”

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