Lifers (37 page)

“I’ve been in prison since Chem class.”

The blonde girl laughed loudly.

“What did you do?” she giggled. “Blow up the science lab?”

I stared at her, unblinking.

“P-prison? He’s joking, right? You were joking…” She realized no one else was laughing, and her cheeks burned. “You … you were serious?” she gasped.

There was an embarrassed silence.

“What did he do?” she hissed at Johnny.

“I’ll tell you later,” he whispered back.

Then the brown-haired girl spoke.

“Hey, Jordan. I’m Rachel Wheeler. We were in Math together. I sat two rows behind you.”

This was getting weird
.

“And you remember my second cousin, Buddy?” she continued. “He was in Mikey’s homeroom…”

My throat closed up when she said his name.

I felt a warm hand in mine, and immediately knew that Torrey was with me.

“Hi,” she said. “I’m Torrey Delaney. My mom’s the Reverend at the Church of Christ in town. And these are our friends Bev and Pete.”

“I’m Susan,” said the black girl. “This is Jennifer,” pointing to the blonde, “and you already know Rachel. I met these yahoos in college, and Buddy’s my fiancé.”

She held out her hand to Torrey and then to me.

We shook hands awkwardly, while Bev and Pete gave her a quick smile.

Jennifer started to unpack the jeep but Johnny stopped her.

“Uh, we won’t be stayin’ here, sugar,” he said, quietly. “We’ll leave them to their picnic.”

“But it’s so lovely here!” she frowned. “You said there wasn’t a better spot for miles. Surely we can share? You guys don’t mind, do you?” she asked, turning to me.

“You should probably listen to him, Jennifer,” I said, seriously. “He won’t want his girlfriend hangin’ out with an ex-con who’s just got out of prison.”

She froze, a cooler slipping from her fingers and landing on the soft sand.

“Oh!” she breathed out.

“Well, nice meeting all of you,” Torrey said, deliberately. “You do what you like—we’re going for another swim,” and she took my hand and steered me away.

“Are you okay?” she asked, when we were out of earshot of the others.

“Yeah, I guess. It was just … I don’t know what that was. I mean, other than Allison, the first people from the old days that I meet … and it’s fuckin’
Johnny from Chem class
?”

Torrey snorted out a laugh.

“Yeah, what are the chances? I can’t picture you in Chem class.
Did
you blow anything up?”

“Not in class. I remember one Fourth of July, Mikey and me emptied out a whole bunch of black powder from fireworks to make one mother of a rocket.”

I couldn’t help smiling at the memory.

“And?” prompted Torrey.

“Scared the shit out of everyone. I got grounded for a month.”

“Just you?”

“Sure. Mikey was on the football team by then. They couldn’t ground him.”

Torrey laughed sadly. “That sounds about right. Do you want to go swimming, or should we just sit here for a while?”

“Here’s fine.”

I sank down onto the sand and she sat next to me, draping her arms over my shoulder.

“It’ll get easier, Jordan,” she said, softly. “All these ‘first times’; they’re bound to be awkward, but people will get used to seeing you around again. Then they’ll be talking about the next interesting subject.”

I shook my head slowly. “You don’t know small towns, sweetheart. Folks still gossip about things that happened two and three generations back at least. They know each other’s business better’n they know their own.”

Torrey sighed. “Well, I’ll take your word for it. Maybe we should head back now? It seems kind of rude to leave Bev and Pete by themselves, although I expect they’ll have thought of something to do.”

I winced at the mental image that conjured up. I really had no interest in seeing Pete’s skinny ass, or anything else.

But as we walked back, it was clear that Bev and Pete weren’t alone: my former classmates were still there.

“I guess they want to be friendly,” said Torrey, lightly.

Great
.

The silence was slightly uncomfortable as I sat down, but Bev and the girl named Susan seemed to be doing their best to keep a conversation going.

The blonde girl stared at me as if I was about to attack someone or share anecdotes from
Prison Break
. Johnny looked bored, and Buddy was smiling at his girl like she was the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen.

I probably looked like that when I was with Torrey.

Rachel zeroed in on me as soon as I sat down.

“Do you remember when you dated my older sister, Yvonne, for like a week, when we were sophomores and she was a senior?”

I frowned, trying to remember someone named Yvonne. It didn’t sound familiar, although…

Johnny laughed.

“Jordan ‘dated’ a lot of girls back then!” he said, waggling his eyebrows. “If even half of the locker room talk was true, you bagged most of the girls on the cheer team.”

I winced, and avoided looking at Torrey.

“Ha, you were a trouble magnet, for sure,” he laughed. “But even so, all the girls wanted him, and all the guys wanted to
be
him.”

Not anymore.

Rachel giggled. And then I remembered her, too.

She’d chased after Mikey for a whole year before she finally gave up and started hitting on me instead. She was a nice looking girl with some good assets, but that
laugh
. It sounded like nails being dragged along a chalkboard. Yeah, I definitely remembered her.

She’d been kind of annoying then. Now, she was something else. For one thing, I didn’t think that the bikini she wore could strictly speaking be called a swimsuit. It was more like a piece of string with some material attached. The minute I sat down again, she started rubbing sun lotion on her legs and chest. It was like watching the prelude to a bad porn film. I saw Buddy cringe and Susan just rolled her eyes.

“Oh, I can’t reach my back,” she giggled. “Jordan, you’re nearest—would you help me, sugar?”

When I was 16, I’d just brush her off. Now, I needed the cavalry.

“Oh, gee,” simpered Torrey, catching my pleading look, “let me help you with that, Rachel.”

And she squirted some of the lotion onto her hand and slapped it roughly onto Rachel’s back.

I guess Rachel wasn’t completely dumb, because she got Torrey’s message loud and clear after that. I still didn’t feel relaxed like when it was just Bev and Pete, but it wasn’t so bad either.

“So,” said Johnny, after a few minutes. “When did you get out?”

All the conversation died away and every eye turned to me.

God, I hated that.

“What?” he said. “I’m just askin’ what everyone is thinkin’!”

“Four months ago,” I answered, evenly. “What about you? Done anythin’ interestin’ since 2006?”

He coughed out a laugh.

“Funny guy! Waal, ya know: school, college, workin’ in Corpus. Been datin’ Jennifer for a year an’ a half now. We’re thinkin’ of takin’ the next step.”

“Gettin’ hitched?” I suggested.

“Hell, no!” he laughed, missing his girlfriend’s angry little pout. “Puttin’ a deposit on a place outside of the city. Gettin’ into real estate, ya know how it is.”

Guy was a jackass.

“Not really. Until recently, my ‘real estate’ was eight by ten feet.”

Torrey snorted and Bev covered up a laugh. Even Buddy cracked a smile at that one.

“You workin’, Jordan?” he asked.

“Some. Got a job at the local junkyard crushin’ cars.”

“And he’s doing custom-made artwork on cars and trucks,” Torrey added. “He did the Celtic cross and bleeding heart on the side of his truck that you were looking at earlier.”

“That’s some pretty neat work,” said Susan. “You could make a lot of money doing that, Jordan.”

I gave a short laugh.

“Not around here.”

“Why not?”

“Because most folk don’t want an ex-con workin’ on their vehicles.”

She nodded slowly.

“I understand that. I know what prejudice can be like.”

“It’s different for you,” I said, quietly.

She immediately bristled. “How so?”

“You know you haven’t done anythin’ to deserve it.”

There was another uncomfortable silence. They seemed to be stacking up to quite a number.

“Remember when you painted that amazin’ mural along the corridor at school?” said Rachel, suddenly. “It was of the sun risin’ over the ocean. It was so beautiful—always made me feel kind of peaceful.”

“Oh, yeah! I remember that,” said Johnny. “It was cool.”

Torrey turned to me. “You did that?”

I nodded.

“I’d love to see it.”

For about the millionth time, there was an awkward pause.

“Um, they painted over it after…” said Rachel, staring at the sand. “I, um, might have a photograph of it … somewhere.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I got up and walked away.

“What’s his problem?” I heard Johnny ask.

“Maybe not all his memories of high school are good ones,” Susan replied.

I gave myself a time-out by going for a long swim. This time Torrey didn’t join me. She knew when I was overwhelmed and needed some space.

I swam until my arms felt like lead but my mind was calmer.

Someone had gathered driftwood to make a campfire, and Bev and Susan were roasting marshmallows.

I plopped down onto the blanket next to Torrey.

“Okay?” she mouthed.

I nodded and gave her a small smile.

She passed me a marshmallow on a stick. I hadn’t had one of these since I was a little kid. Sometimes it was a punch in the gut, thinking how much I’d missed out on. A third of my life I’d been locked up. I’d never get those years back.

“So,” she said, “your buddies have been filling me in. I’ve been hearing about some of the things the Kane brothers got up to in high school. I
cannot believe
you both banged someone named Cindy O’Hara in the back of your truck.”

“Not at the same time!” I defended.

She laughed. “No?”

“Hell, no!”

“And the Miller sisters,” added Rachel.

“What?”

“That’s what I heard,” she shrugged.

“No way!” I spluttered. “Um, I
may
have had a thing with Kelsey, but I never … not with Audrey.”
Although I was pretty wasted at the time…

“That’s not what Aud said,” Rachel insisted, a determined glint in her eye as she slurred her words. “And she was pretty damn specific about some … details.”

My head was totally spun by this conversation, hearing names from the past. It felt like they were talking about a completely different person. Hell, I
knew
I wasn’t that kid anymore.

Torrey took pity on me, and swung the conversation in another direction.

I began to relax once the focus was off of me. But it didn’t last.

“You still play football?” Johnny asked, obviously bored with a conversation that the girls were having, comparing chick flick movies.

“Um, no!”

Jeez, this guy was dumber than dirt.

“I just wondered. ‘Cause after you … left, Benson Smith took your place on the team.”

Jeez, they gave my place to that loser?

Johnny laughed at the expression on my face.

“Yeah! It was a disaster! No chance of going State that year. Hell, they used to get nearly 3,000 people at the home games. Mikey was a freakin’ legend. That hasn’t happened in a while. Now they’re lucky if they get 500 or 600 attendances.”

“You didn’t tell me you were on the football team, too,” Torrey said, questioningly.

“That’s because I wasn’t. I was supposed to start as a wide receiver in my junior year, but…”

I shrugged. I didn’t need to finish the sentence.

Jennifer tossed her long hair over her shoulder. “You don’t look like a dangerous felon,” she announced, “you’re too cute. You look more like a model, an underwear model.”

Bev choked on her beer, and Susan shook her head in disbelief.

Torrey murmured her reply just loud enough for me to hear. “Yeah! And who’d have thought she’s as dumb as she looks.”

I grinned at her, and she puckered her lips at me.

I leaned down, resting my hand on her thigh, and whispered in her ear. “You sure earned this kiss, sweetheart.”

I took my time, even though it was likely that everyone was watching us. Fuck ‘em. I was kissing my girl.

I only stopped when I realized that a situation was arising.

Torrey knew exactly why I pulled back, because she muttered, “Hold that thought, cowboy.”

No one bothered me with more questions after that, and I didn’t know if that was because they’d lost interest in me or because Torrey had said something to them while I’d been swimming. Whichever way it was, I relaxed into the evening, enjoying the unfamiliar feeling of being peaceful with a group of people.

As the last of the light faded from the sky, the conversation quieted and the group split into couples.

Soon, the old high school crowd was saying their goodbyes. Johnny invited us to meet them for drinks at a bar later. Torrey declined on my behalf, omitting to mention my parole restrictions, instead stating that she was too tired. Johnny sure was dumb, but he didn’t seem to mind hanging out with me either. I couldn’t imagine that we’d ever be buddies, but it had been okay seeing him and his friends.

I missed Mikey even more now that I was out of prison. I kept thinking about all the things we should be doing together—bonfires at the beach like this one, shooting the shit, hanging out. The space where he should have been left a constant dull ache. And at my parents’ house, having his stuff still laid out in his room, it felt like he could walk back in any second. I sometimes felt if I called him, he’d yell from the backyard or the garage. But I also thought maybe he wouldn’t have wanted me to just rot away either.

I felt Torrey’s warm hand in mine, and her eyes crinkled softly as she smiled at me.

“Did you have fun?”

I wasn’t there yet, but yeah, life was getting good.