Lifelong Affair (11 page)

'But
not with you?' His gaze was intent.

She
gave a rueful shake of her head. 'I don't think so. I've enjoyed being with
you, in fact, I've loved every moment of it. But perhaps that's half the
trouble,' she realised thoughtfully. 'Love isn't all joy—Glenna's
marriage showed me that. What do they call it in books, the agony and the
ecstasy?'

'It
was like that with Joanie,' he admitted huskily.

'And me?' she prompted softly, knowing that she hadn't
reached either the high or the low with Sam, that enjoying his company just
wasn't enough. Alex had shown her the ecstasy at least.

'Well. I
----
'

'I
know it wasn't, Sam,' she said gently. TMot for you or for me. We've had fun,
let's leave it at that.'

'Did
  
you
  
meet
  
the
  
man
  
here
  
or
  
in
  
England? England,
of course,' he answered his own question. 'Otherwise you wouldn't be going to
stay there.' Morgan frowned. 'What man?' 'The one who
 
showed
 
you
 
the
 
agony and
 
the
ecstasy, the man you're in love with.'

Colour
flooded her cheeks. 'I don't love him!' Alex Hammond wasn't a lovable man. He
was desirable, extremely so, but he wasn't lovable. 'No?' Sam asked
sceptically. No,' she insisted firmly.

No,
she didn't love Alex, but she was going to marry him. This last week without
Courtney had shown her that he was as much a part of her as if she had actually
brought him into the world. And her physical reaction to Alex couldn't be
dismissed either; she had longed to know that pleasure again since she had been
away from him. And then there was her father. She couldn't bear the
recrimination in his eyes if she should ever lose Courtney to Alex in a legal
battle. Marriage was the only answer, but with a few changes to the
arrangements Alex had suggested. She wondered how he was going to react to
them.

CHAPTER
FIVE

Her
nervousness grew as the plane touched down at Heathrow,
and she felt herself become even more tense as she took a cab from the airport
to the Hammond home. No doubt Alex would have either sent a car or come for her
himself if he had known when she was arriving. But she hadn't told him,
preferring to arrive in her own time, at her own pace, not intending to
relinquish one particle of her independence even when she was his wife.

Symonds
was no more welcoming than the last time, informing her that Rita Hammond was
at her daughter's for the evening, and that Alex hadn't arrived home from his
office yet. Well, at least with Rita out of the house she was going to be able
to meet and talk to Alex in privacy.

The
butler showed her into the same bedroom as before, informing her that dinner
would be served in one hour. That suited Morgan perfectly, as she wanted to see
Courtney before she showered and changed for dinner.

The
baby was as adorable as ever, and she spent so much time with him, amazed at
how much he had changed in just that one week, that she almost forgot to change
for dinner. In the end she needn't have made the effort.

'Mr
Alex telephoned several minutes ago, Miss McKay,' Symonds told her haughtily.
'He was intending to stay in London overnight, but when I told him you had
arrived unexpectedly he changed his plans. He told me to inform you he will be
home some time this evening, although a business meeting could delay him."

'Thank
you,' she accepted dully, although not by the flicker of an eyelid did she show
her disappointment as she ate her dinner alone. She had expected to talk
to Alex this evening, had prepared herself for it, now she doubted they would
be able to say more than goodnight to each other!

As
it turned out they didn't even get to do that! After the delicious meal she was
given, and the wine Symonds had insisted had to be served with it, she became
very drowsy, the jet-lag catching up with her with a vengeance. By ten-thirty
Alex hadn't returned from London—and Morgan was safely tucked up in bed,
fast asleep!

'Why
are you here?' Rita Hammond demanded of her the next morning, once again only
the two of them in the dining-room for breakfast.

'You
knew I was coming back,' she shrugged, wondering where Alex was, and not
wanting to get into an argument with this woman.

'Oh
I knew, I just don't understand why. Rita Hammond looked at her with open
dislike. 'Why don't you just leave Courtney with us, and stop trying to pull
him in two? He'll hate you for it in the end, you know.'

She
did know; it had been another of the deciding factors in her decision, that and
the attraction she and Alex undoubtedly had for each other. 'Has Alex eaten
already?' she changed the subject.

'He
isn't here, the other woman took great delight in telling her. 'He hasn't been
here all night. 'His business appointment must have kept him very late,' Morgan
frowned.

'Business appointment? Is that what Symonds told you it
was?' Rita scorned. 'Well, no doubt that's what Alex told him to say,' she gave
a derisive smile. 'Alex does not stay in London overnight on business,' she
added pointedly.

Morgan
stood up jerkily. 'If you'll excuse me, she said tautly, 'I still have some
unpacking to do.'

Rita
Hammond watched her contemptuously. 'How long do you intend honouring us with
your presence this time?'

'Only
until tomorrow,' she snapped, her eyes flashing deeply green.

'I'm
sure Alex will return before you leave. Let's hope we will have seen the last
of the McKay family then,' she added with dislike.

'I
don't wish to discuss that with you,' Morgan dismissed.

'My
son has been giving me the same reply all week,' the other woman bit out. 'I
suppose that when he's ready he'll speak to me about whatever is troubling
him.'

'I'm
sure he will,' Morgan evaded, and made good ber escape.

She
spent the morning with Courtney, all the time waiting for Alex's return. His
mother's pointed hints had told her that Alex had been with a woman last night
and not on business at all, and she felt jealousy rip through her at the
thought of another woman knowing his caresses, his drugging kisses. She knew it
was ridiculous of her, unreasonable, and yet she couldn't fight her feelings of
jealousy. She didn't even love the man, and she felt jealousy of his making
love to another woman!

She
heard the Mercedes in the driveway mid-afternoon, and looked down from her
bedroom to see Alex swinging agilely out from behind the wheel of the car, dark
and forceful in a navy blue suit, the grey in his hair more noticeable as the
light breeze ruffled it into disorder.

For
a disconcerting moment she felt an urge to run down to him and throw herself in
his arms! But she didn't. She heard his mother greet him and then the
sound
of a door slamming. He must know she was here, and yet he had made no effort to
see her! Had he changed his mind about wanting to marry her after all?

She
turned sharply as a knock sounded lightly on her bedroom door, and called out
for the person to come in. Her breath caught in her throat as Alex came into
the room; the person slamming the door must have been his mother.

'I—How
are you?' Morgan suddenly felt shy— which was ridiculous for a
twenty-six-year-old woman! None of her friends in Los Angeles would believe how
Alex affected her, how just to look at him made her knees weak.

'I'm
fine.' He came in and closed the door, feeling no awkwardness himself. 'You've
seen Courtney?'

'I've
spent the morning with him,' she nodded.

'Evading
my mother,' he derided.

'Partly,'
she admitted, tall and elegant in a navy blue blouse and white skirt. 'But
mainly because I just wanted to be with him.'

Alex
nodded. 'I'm sorry I didn't get back last night. I had an important meeting
that went on until after twelve, and when I telephoned the house Svmonds said
you'd been in bed for two hours. I decided it would be simpler to drive down
today.'

'Of
course.' She evaded his gaze.

Grey
eyes narrowed. 'You were told I was delayed, weren't you?'

'I'm
afraid I fell asleep last night, as Symonds told you. Your mother told me this
morning that you hadn't come back yet.'

'Then
---
'
he broke off, heaving a deep sigh. 'Let's

forget
about that. Shall we talk now or later?'

The
directness of his question unnerved her, all her carefully rehearsed speeches
were forgotten. 'Er— later, I think,' she heard herself say. 'I'm sure
you'd much rather freshen up now.'

He
ran a hand around the back of his tire nape 'I would,' he agreed wearily. 'I
had a rough time last night.'

I'm
sure,' she agreed tightly.

Alex
nodded. 'I never sleep well in hotels.'

Hotel-—?'
she frowned. 'You stayed in a hotel last night?' Somehow she hadn't been
expecting that, bad thought he would stay at the woman's home, Unless . ..?
Goodness, she had been taken in by Rita Hammond so easily!

'Mm,'
Alex grimaced. 'And
 
didn't get to
bed until almost two o'clock. I'm having trouble with one of my companies up
north. The union had the impression— But you don't want to hear this, he
shook his head ruefully.

After
the fool she had almost made of herself Morgan was very curious to know the
real reason for his delay in London. 'But I do,' she prompted eagerly. 'Please—tell
me about it.

He
shrugged. 'My work-force up there were just a little concerned I might be
closing the company down. And when the unions get hold of something like that
they don't want to let go. I had to drive up there this morning
  
and
  
reassure
 
them
  
in
 
person.
  
Damned

nonsense!'
                                                   

'And
I thought—Never mind what I thought,
 
she dismissed hastily as she saw his eyes narrow. 'We can
talk whenever you want to,' she added brightly.

Later
 
will
 
be
 
fine,'
  
he
 
told
 
her
 
absently,
 
his expression tight. 'Just where did you think I was last
night?'

'In
London, of course,' she replied awkwardly. His eyes became flinty now. 'But not
alone, hmm?' She chewed on her bottom lip. 'No,' she admitted abruptly.

Alex's
head went back arrogantly. 'If I d spent the night in London with a woman I
would have made no
secret of it. I don't happen to have a mistress in London.
I don't have a mistress
anywhere,'
he
added derisively.

Morgan's
fingers were laced tightly together. 'I'm sorry,' she mumbled.

'Would
you like a list of the relationships I've had for the last five years?' he
rasped.

He
was really angry, and she couldn't exactly blame him. "I said
 
was sorry, Alex,' she pleaded. 'It's
just that Symonds said you were coming back last night.' She didn't want to
involve his mother in this.

'I
was delayed—I've just explained that,' he bit out.

Morgan
swallowed hard, realising how ridiculous this conversation was even if he
didn't. "You don't have to explain anything to me, Alex. I made an assumption,'
with a lot of help from Rita Hammond! 'and I've apologised for it. I wish we
could just drop the subject now.' She had no intention of telling him of his
mother's deliberate lie; she knew she should have had more sense than to listen
to the other woman. Because she did believe Alex, knew he wasn't a man who
lied. Rita Hammond would feel no such compunction.

'Then
we will,' he agreed curtly. Til just go and see Courtney and then take a
shower. We'll talk in my study after dinner.'

Her
cheeks coloured fiery red as she remembered what had happened the last time
they went to the study to talk. Alex's mocking glance jtold her he remembered
it too.

She chastised herself once he had gone to his own room.
What a fool she had been to listen to his mother! And how gullibly she had
behaved. If Rita Hammond had chipped away at Glenna and Mark's marriage in the
same way no wonder they had run into difficulty; Mark's defence of his mother
had been much stronger than Alex's.

She
was polite but cool with the other woman as they all dined together that
evening. She knew by the triumphant glitter in icy blue eyes that Rita Hammond
considered she had scored a minor victory this morning by planting those seeds
of doubt in Morgan's mind. And maybe she had, but in future Morgan would know
to be more wary of the woman.