Life Without Limits (25 page)

Fortunately, the Weigels were not easily discouraged. They asked another friend to contact my media director. He read their screenplay, loved it, and brought it to me. Upon reading it, I realized Kyle deserved an apology. The Weigels’ screenplay was about hope and redemption, subjects close to my heart.

And who better to star in a film short than me? Especially since the character they’d created for me was “Will the Limbless Man.” As the movie begins, he is a snarly and depressed “freak” in a ragtag circus sideshow. Then, thanks to the kindness of others, Will is invited to join a far more benevolent circus troupe, where he becomes the star of a thrilling high-dive act.

I realized I’d better get off my “buts” and kick into action. I thanked Kyle and asked him to set up a meeting with the Weigels. Great events quickly unfolded. We met. We bonded. And I signed on the dotted line. My enthusiasm grew when I learned that a number of much more experienced actors already had agreed to take roles in the film.

This was a low-budget, fast-moving project, so I only had to clear a week’s time on my schedule to complete my scenes. You will have to check the reviews to decide whether I have a future in show business, but
The Butterfly Circus
won the $100,000 grand prize at the Doorpost Film Project, which supports filmmakers who make hopeful films. Our little movie (which you can find at
http://www.thedoorpost.com
) was chosen over one hundred other short films featuring similar themes. The Doorpost grand prize brought it a lot of attention, and the Weigels are considering turning it into a full-length feature.

I just may dive into that project too. After all, not many actors can play the role of a limbless man who dives, swims, and pulls off the perfect Australian accent!

To pursue your dreams you have to take action. Move it or lose it. Act or be acted upon. If you don’t have what you want, consider creating what you want. God will light the path. Your chance of a lifetime, the door to your dreams is open. Your path to a purpose may present itself at any moment. Be ready for it. Do all you need to do. Learn all you need to know. If no one comes knocking, beat down a few doors. One day you’ll step into the life you desire.

Be willing to put yourself out there, to embrace the moment. Earlier in my career, before I got back pain, I offered after each speech to give a hug to everyone who wanted one. To my amazement and gratitude, many lined up to share a word and a little squeeze. I was amazed because every person I met in those sessions had something unique to offer, a gift that I could take away. You need to feel the same way about opportunities. Even those that may not seem golden at first may shine once you’ve stepped up.

Even after you’ve built a powerful purpose and have developed huge reservoirs of hope, faith, self-esteem, positive attitudes, courage, resilience, adaptability, and good relationships, you can’t just sit around and wait for a break. You have to seize upon every thread and weave a rope you can climb. Sometimes you’ll even find that the boulder that fell and blocked your path left an opening that takes you to a higher place. But you have to have the courage and the determination to make the ascent.

One of our mottos at Life Without Limbs is “Another day, another opportunity.” We don’t simply have our slogan framed on a wall—we try to live it every day. Dr. Cara Barker, a psychologist and leadership coach, picked up on this when she wrote in a
Huffington Post
blog: “Nick Vujicic demonstrates that it’s possible to awaken the heart, giving inspiration to others through a situation that nearly everyone on this Earth would find debilitating. A hero, Vujicic finds opportunity where most would find a dead end.”

I’m humbled by her words. Growing up, it was often difficult for me to ever imagine myself being called a hero or an inspiration to anyone. I realized as a child that being angry about what I didn’t have or frustrated about what I couldn’t do only pushed people away from me, but when I looked for opportunities to serve others, they were drawn to me. I’ve learned not to wait around but to push ahead and make my own breaks because one always seems to lead to another. Every time I give a speech, attend an event, or visit a new part of the world, I meet people, learn about new organizations, and gather information that opens new opportunities down the road.

Dr. Barker correctly notes that once I switched my focus from my physical challenges to the blessings they presented, my life changed dramatically for the better. You can do the same. If I can recognize that the body God gave me is in many ways a great and wondrous gift, can you acknowledge that your own blessings may also be in disguise, perhaps even dwelling within an aspect of yourself that you see as your greatest weakness?

It’s all about perspective. There is no hiding from life. You will take some hits. Unless you are blasted so hard you go into a coma, you will become frustrated, angry, and sad:
Been there, done that
. Still, I urge you to reject despair and bitterness. You can be buried by a giant wave, or you can ride it into shore. In the same way, challenging events in your life can push you down or lift you up. If you can breathe, be grateful. Use that gratitude to rise above depression and bitterness. Take one step, then another, build momentum, and create a life you love.

My physical handicap forced me to be bold and to speak to adults and other kids and to interact. And because of it I focused on my strengths in mathematics, so I always had a fallback profession if my speaking didn’t work out. I’ve often thought that even some of the heartbreak I’ve endured because of my disability has benefited me by making me more compassionate toward others. In the same way, the failures I’ve experienced have made me much more appreciative of my successes and much more sympathetic to others who struggle and fail.

Not all opportunities are equal. At the beginning of this chapter, I wrote about embracing my first movie role, after turning down that earlier offer.

Now if you watch
The Butterfly Circus
, you will see that Will, my character, at the beginning of the movie isn’t exactly an inspiring bloke. In fact, he’s a bit repulsive because of the bitterness and despair he harbors in his heart. But I accepted this role because Will undergoes a transformation and overcomes his misery and resentment. Like a prickly caterpillar who transforms into a soaring butterfly, Will slowly sheds his suspicions and distrust and becomes a redeemed, loving, and inspiring person.

That’s how I want to be known on this planet. How do you want to be known? In earlier chapters, we looked at the importance of having a purpose. When offers and breaks come your way, or when you create them for yourself, you must always ask yourself,
Does this match up with my purpose and my values?

What qualifies as a good opportunity? Anything that takes you another step closer to your dream. There are other types, of course. Perhaps your friends invited you to go out and get wasted last night. Or maybe you played video games instead of preparing for a meeting at work or reading a book to sharpen your skills. The choices you make determine the quality of the life you lead.

Be thoughtful. Develop high standards and strict criteria for evaluating how you invest your time and energy. Base your choices not on what feels good in the moment but on what best serves your ultimate goals. Measure them according to your values and principles. I use the Grandpa Nick rule:
Will my grandkids be proud of this decision, or will they think their grandpappy was senile before his time?

If you need to create a disciplined, formal process for assessing opportunities, sit down at your computer or with a pen and paper and create an Assessment Worksheet. For every opportunity that comes your way, write down the pros and cons and evaluate how each measures up to the values, principles, and goals you’ve chosen for your life. Then try to envision what will happen if you walk through the door, and what will happen if you close it instead.

If you still have trouble making a decision, take your worksheet to a trusted mentor, or a friend who believes in you and wants you to succeed. Talk through the pros and cons with them, and listen to their evaluation. Be open-minded, but also know that the responsibility is all yours. It’s your life. You will reap the rewards or pay the price for your own decisions, so choose wisely.

Timing is another consideration when making these assessments. Sometimes, especially when you are young, tempting offers present themselves, but the timing may be off. You don’t want to accept a job that you aren’t qualified for or prepared to master, just as you shouldn’t rush off on a luxury vacation you can’t afford. The cost is too high. It will take you too long to recover.

One of the biggest mistakes I made early in my public speaking career was accepting an invitation to address a large audience before I’d really prepared for such a thing. It wasn’t that I had nothing to say, I just hadn’t organized my material or honed my presentation. As a result, I lacked the self-confidence to pull it off.

I stuttered and stammered through that speech. People were kind to me, but I had blown it. But I learned from the experience, recovered, and realized that I should seize only those moments that I am fully prepared to handle. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t jump on an offer or an option that forces you to stretch and grow. Sometimes we’re more prepared than we realize, so God gives us a nudge that allows us to rise to the occasion and take a giant step toward our dreams.
American Idol
, the hit television show, is built on that concept. In each episode, many of the young contestants crack under the pressure, or realize that they simply aren’t ready for stardom. But now and then a raw talent emerges and blossoms under the intense pressure. A select few, notably Carrie Underwood,
Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry, and Kelly Clarkson, have launched wonderful careers because they stretched, grew, and kept rising.

You need to weigh your options and carefully consider which stepping-stones will lead you to your goals, and which might cause you to slip and fall. Like me and the first movie role I was offered, you will come across opportunities that would serve a short-term goal but don’t match up to your long-term objectives. Your decisions today will follow you into tomorrow. Often young people jump into relationships without considering whether the person is good for them over the long term. We’re often reminded how security conscious we need to be when it comes to the Internet, whether it is our financial selves, our public reputation, or our private life that we need to protect. We’re reminded that you’ve got to assume that everything you do—every photograph and video you appear in, every e-mail you send, every blog you write, every comment on your Web page—will show up in a search engine somewhere at some point and will exist on earth probably longer than you do. Just as you have to think carefully about how the things you post online without thinking can come back to haunt you, remember that the same is true in our lives when we evaluate opportunities that come our way. They have long-term consequences—which can help you or hurt you. The short-term benefits may look great, but what will the long-term repercussions be?

Step back and look at the big picture. Remember, you are often tested, but life itself is not a test. It’s the real deal. The decisions you make every day impact the quality of your entire life. Assess carefully, then check your gut and your heart. If your gut tells you something’s a bad idea, go with your gut. But if your heart tells you to leap at an opportunity—and it is aligned with your values and long-term goals—make the leap! There are still times when an offer arises that gives me goose bumps and I’m so excited that I want to
just dive right in. But then I need to take a breath and pray for the wisdom to make the right decision.

If you have prepared yourself to the best of your ability but no doors have opened for you, then maybe you need to reposition yourself and your talents. If your dream is to be a world champion surfer, chances are Alaska won’t offer many big waves, right? Sometimes you need to make a move to catch a break. I realized several years ago that if I wanted to develop a worldwide audience for my speaking career, I needed to move out of Australia and to the United States. I love Australia. Most of my family is still there. But Down Under was too remote a launching pad and didn’t offer the options and the exposure that I’ve found in the United States.

Even after coming to the United States, I had to work to create my own breaks. One of the best moves I made was to network with others who shared my passion for speaking and inspiring others. Studies have shown that most people learn about job openings through their professional networks of friends and co-workers. As with most other types of opportunities, you hear about them on the grapevine long before other sources have the news. Whether you are looking for love, a job, an investment, a place to volunteer, or a venue to share your talents, you can make your own breaks by joining professional groups, local clubs, the Chamber of Commerce, or church, charitable, and service organizations. The Internet is tailor-made for making helpful connections, with social networking sites such as Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Plaxo. The wider your circle, the greater your chances for finding an open door to your dream.

You shouldn’t limit yourself to just those individuals, organizations, and Web sites related to your field of interest. Everybody knows somebody who knows somebody. So seek out anyone who
is passionate and committed to a dream, even if theirs is entirely different from yours. I love passionate people because they attract opportunities like mighty magnets.

On the other hand, if you are hanging with a crowd of folks who don’t share your dreams, or your commitment to bettering your life, I’d advise you to find a new group of friends. Those who hang in bars, nightclubs, or video arcades rarely soar.

If you aren’t attracting the sort of offers and options you aspire to, maybe you need to find higher ground through higher education. If you can’t win acceptance to a college or university, work your way up through community college or a tech school. More scholarships and financial aid programs are available than you might imagine, so don’t let the costs discourage you. If you’ve already earned a degree, you may want to upgrade to a master’s or doctorate program, or join professional organizations, online communities, or Internet forums and chat rooms for people in your field. If the breaks aren’t coming your way, then you need to get to the place where they can find you, or you can find them.