Life Unaware (Entangled Teen) (6 page)

Chapter Seven

The next morning, I sat in my car and watched students weaving around vehicles through the parking lot on their way to class. I gripped the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turned white. I hadn’t even stepped foot outside the car yet and already anxiety squeezed my ribs.

I reached for my purse and was searching for my pill bottle when a fist rapped against my window. I gasped and withdrew my hand. Nolan Letner smirked at me. As usual, his cell phone was in hand and pointed at me.

Crap.
Just when I thought my day couldn’t be off to a worse start.

I didn’t bother to roll down my window. With my new plan to lie low in place, the last thing I wanted was to encourage his attention. Instead, I grabbed my phone and pretended to scroll through my nonexistent texts.

“You’d better hurry up. You’re going to be late for class.”

I clenched my teeth so hard, my jaw ached. “Go to hell, Nolan.”

He glanced over his shoulder at the school building. “Well, it is high school, so close enough.” When I didn’t move, he knocked on the window again. “Are you coming or what?”

I fingered the keys still in the ignition. It would be so easy for me to start the car and just drive away. Unfortunately, if I skipped class, my mom would find out. If she thought I was in some kind of trouble that would reflect badly on her or the family, she’d tighten her hold on my already-choking leash.

I whipped around and glared at Nolan. He was only here to antagonize me, but if I tried to wait him out, I’d get a tardy. He had me trapped and he knew it. “I’m not going anywhere until you put that phone away.”

He shoved it into his pocket and smiled.

Jackass.

With a sigh, I pulled the key from the ignition, triggering my automatic locks. Before I could stop him, Nolan grabbed my door handle and swung it open. “After you.”

Obviously the last thing I wanted to do was go anywhere with him, but I couldn’t afford to ditch school, which meant I didn’t have much choice. I grabbed my backpack and climbed out of my car. As soon as I started walking toward school, he fell into step beside me.

“Go away, Nolan.”

“Why would I do that?” he asked. “If I left, I wouldn’t be able to bask in the warmth of your glowing personality. And do you really
want
me to go away? Before you walk
in there
?” He gestured to the doors.
“Alone?”

I made a face. “You think I need your protection or something? I can take care of myself.”

He laughed. “
Sure
you can.”

“And so, what?” I placed a hand on my hip. “You’re going to keep following me around so you won’t miss a second of my misery? Is that your plan?”

He shrugged. “That’s part of it.”

I barely restrained a growl. We’d never gotten along, but I never knew he was that sadistic. No wonder his girlfriend broke up with him. I jabbed a finger against his chest. “Fuck off.”

Before he could respond, I marched up the walkway and into the school.

Not even several heartbeats later, he was back at my side. “I have to walk this way, too, you know. You don’t own the hallways, Princess.”

What I wouldn’t have given to ball up all the anger and sadness from the last twenty-four hours and unleash it on Nolan. But with my reputation in ruins, the last thing I needed to do was draw any more attention to myself. I needed an escape, so I detoured to the nearest doorway.

Mrs. Weber, the middle-aged school secretary and a longtime supporter of my mother, smiled at me from behind her raised desk. “Regan.” Her two front teeth were smudged with bright red lipstick. “What can I help you with, honey?”

Good question. “Um…” Initially all I’d wanted was an escape from Nolan. I hadn’t thought out my plan further than that. But then an idea came to me, a piece of advice straight from my mother’s political playbook.
When hit with a scandal, the best course of action is to remove yourself from the public spotlight until heated emotions have a chance to cool.

“I need to withdraw my name from the student election.” The last thing I needed to do was remind the entire school how much they hated me by plastering posters of my smiling face all over the school. Mustaches, devil horns, and penises—it didn’t take a genius to figure out the vandalism that would befall them.

Mrs. Weber stopped smiling. “Really? Are you sure about that? Politics runs in your blood.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I was used to people expecting me to look and act like a younger version of the congresswoman. Instead of seeing me as a unique individual, it was like they thought I was a clone manufactured in a lab. If my mother wasn’t so right-wing, I wouldn’t have put it past her to have considered it.

But the fact was, I wasn’t my mother. Sure, she was going to be pissed when she found out I dropped out of the election, but I also knew a weight lifted from my shoulders the moment I’d spoken the words. Lying low felt like the right course of action for now. Remaining a candidate would only bring me more humiliation and ridicule. Not to mention if I handed out Vote for Regan buttons, the other students would probably use them to stab me.

I leaned across the counter. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’ve been…under a lot of stress.” Of course my mother didn’t want people to know her daughter suffered from an anxiety disorder—someone might think there was something wrong with her parenting. So instead, I’d been instructed to tell people I suffered from stress—a much more socially acceptable answer. After all, who wasn’t under stress?

“Oh, honey.” Mrs. Weber reached forward and patted my hand. Her skin felt like cold leather. “That’s completely understandable. With your mother up for reelection, of course you’d be stressed.”

It took nearly all of my strength to fight off the frown pulling at my lips. God forbid I had problems of my own,
stress
of my own that didn’t revolve around my mother. “Yeah.” I withdrew my hand from her grasp. “So you can see why I can’t run for student council. I have too much on my plate. I need to focus my attention…elsewhere.”

“Regan.” Even though we were the only two people in the office, Mrs. Weber lowered her voice to a whisper. “Does this have anything to do with the graffiti on your locker?”

I jerked back, and my cheeks flushed hot. “You know about that?”

She gave me a sympathetic look. “Of course. But don’t worry, so does the principal. She’s going to launch an investigation to make sure the culprit is found.”

My throat tightened. What if the investigation uncovered the messages taped to the lockers with my private messages and the awful things I said? “An investigation isn’t really necessary. I’m sure it was just a random, onetime thing.”

Mrs. Weber frowned. “Now, honey, you know we have a strict anti-bullying policy at this school. That includes name-calling.”

My stomach dropped, and I thought I was going to be sick.

“We’re going to find this person,” she continued. “And he or she is going to get in a
lot
of trouble. So don’t you worry. You’re a good girl, Regan. I’m sure whoever did this is just a Democrat causing trouble.” She made a face, as if the word “Democrat” left a bad taste on her tongue.

Right.
Because once again, everything that happened in my life somehow related to my mother. I pushed off the counter and moved back toward the door. “So you’ll take care of the ballot for me, Mrs. Weber?”

She sighed and tapped her manicured nails against her desk. “I sure wish you’d reconsider. But if that’s what you really want, I’ll do it.”

I nodded. “That’s what I want. Thanks.”

She pursed her lips as if she wasn’t quite through arguing with me. Before she could say more, I backed out of the office. I was in such a hurry to get away that I didn’t notice the person standing outside the door until I slammed into his chest.

Just what I needed—another person to yell at me. “Look, I’m really sorry—” Before I could finish the apology, I looked up to find Nolan grinning down on me.

“We really need to stop meeting like this,” he said.

“Seriously?” I threw my arms in the air and stepped around him. “Are you stalking me just to piss me off?”

“Why?” He smirked. “Is it working?”

I flipped him off.

He laughed. “Is that any way to treat a friend?”

I stopped in my tracks. “You are
not
my friend.”

“You’re right.” He looked around. “But I don’t see anyone else vying for the position. Can’t say I blame them. You’re pretty cranky.”

I let out a frustrated groan. “What the hell do you want from me? An apology? If that’s what it takes to get you to leave me alone,
fine.
I’m sorry I was mean to you on Tuesday, Nolan. Now can you
please
go away?”

“What I want?” All traces of humor vanished from his face. “What I want can never be given back.”

I folded my arms across my chest to shield myself from his icy gaze. “What the hell does that even mean?”

The five-minute warning bell rang.

Instead of answering, Nolan hiked his backpack higher on his shoulder. “I’ve got to get to class.” He brushed past me and strode down the hall, leaving me blinking after him.

Jeez, and I thought PMS gave
me
mood swings. I’d never seen anyone like Nolan, someone who could laugh and smile one second—even if it was at my expense—and the next second look like he wanted to murder someone. “Psycho,” I muttered. There was a reason Payton, Amber, and I used to make fun of him—the dude was a fucking nutbag.

As I walked to class, I couldn’t help but wonder
why
he and his girlfriend broke up. They were essentially perfect for each other. Jordan was in my grade. Her hair was always dyed purple, blue, or some other equally crazy color. She dressed in black every day of the week and even wore a black veil on the death anniversaries of musicians like Kurt Cobain, Freddie Mercury, and Jimi Hendrix. Obviously she wasn’t a typical cheerleader, but that didn’t stop her from trying out for the JV squad last year. She hadn’t gone through half of her tryout routine before Amber burst out laughing. I felt bad Amber reacted like that—even worse when I pretended to laugh along with her. She could never fit in with us.

Except now there was no
us.

Look who was the freak now.

With only a couple minutes before the tardy bell rang, the halls were empty—well, except for a girl standing at her locker. As I approached, I noticed that the girl hastily shoving books into her bag wasn’t just
any
girl. She was
Julie Sims
—the girl I’d accused of being too fat for the Heimlich in the posted private messages.

My heart stuttered against my ribs and I froze, not sure what to do. Julie was still pulling books, oblivious to my presence. I could easily turn around, but my classroom was only a couple of doors down. If I took another route, I’d be late for sure.

Crap
. I so did not need another confrontation right now, but at the same time I couldn’t be late, not when I was coasting on such thin ice. Maybe if I hurried, she wouldn’t notice me. I ducked my head and quickened my steps. I was just about to pass her when one of the books she was shuffling through fell open and a folded sheet of paper decorated with tenth-grade geometry puzzles wafted out. It fell to the floor at my feet.

Julie turned around, and I stopped in my tracks, the air locked inside my lungs.

For a second, Julie appeared not to notice me. She bent over and grabbed the paper. But before she stood, her gaze drifted to the tops of my shoes, and she stiffened.

My throat tightened, and I swallowed hard. I waited for her to scream at me, to cuss me out, or at the very least to slam her locker in my face and storm away. She didn’t. She just stared at me with her wide brown eyes, unmoving. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why. I searched her face for the hate I was sure to find lurking there, but another emotion flashed in her eyes—
fear.

The realization hit me like a punch in the stomach. Julie wasn’t going to attack me. I was the monster here. Julie was afraid of
me.

She swallowed. “I-I’m late for class and can’t find my homework.” I couldn’t figure out why she was telling me this; it wasn’t like she owed me, of all people, an explanation.

“Do you need help looking for it?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I took a step back, surprised. This was the second time in fifteen minutes I’d said something unexpected, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. After all, hadn’t I wanted to get away from her as quickly as possible?

Julie eyed me skeptically. “Why would you want to help me? You hate me.”

Her words caught me off guard, and I shook my head. “I don’t hate you.”

She laughed bitterly. “
Please.
I read what you wrote about me.”

I fidgeted with the straps of my backpack.
Duh, Regan, of course she read it
. “Julie, I—” But I didn’t know how to finish, so the word hung awkwardly in the air between us. I mean, why
had
I written those things about her? Really, I didn’t hate her. In fact, I didn’t know her well enough to have any opinions about her at all. So as far as why I’d written the things about her, I guess I’d done it to get a laugh out of Amber. Shame burned through me like acid, and I dropped my eyes to the floor.

“Why, then?” she said. I glanced up to find Julie’s bottom lip trembling. “What did I ever do to you?”

My mouth flapped open and closed, but no words came out—because there were none to explain why I’d said the terrible things I had.

The late bell rang. Neither of us moved. Silence hung between us, heavy and thick. When I could no longer take it, I shook my head. “I don’t have a reason. I guess I really am the horrible person everyone thinks I am.”

For a second, she looked like she might say something, but then she shook her head and turned back to her locker. She resumed rooting through her books. She didn’t need to tell me to fuck off. I could read the signals loud and clear. But instead of walking away like I’d intended, something kept me glued in place.