Life Support: Escape to the Country (3 page)

She started walking again. “I don’t do this.”

“Do what?”

She flung her hands in the air. “
This.
 Leave bars with complete strangers and kiss them in the dark.”

Back at the hotel she stopped and faced him, arms folded across her body. They stared at one another in stony silence.

Eventually Josh spoke. “Would you have felt the same way if we hadn’t bumped into your parents tonight?” he asked.

“The Chirnsides are not my parents,” she snapped. “They are my parents-
in-law
.”

He blinked rapidly, but she ignored the look he was giving her. She shrugged out of his coat and thrust it at his chest.

“Lleyton is my
husband.
”

The next day Emma chose a seat in the back row of the small conference room, knowing avoiding Josh was a pointless exercise. With the raised seating and small number of attendees at the early morning session, he’d spot her straight away. She was right. She knew the exact moment he’d seen her. He had wandered in carrying his notes and his eyes had flicked around the room until he caught her staring straight at him. Rather than look away, as Emma expected, his gaze lingered for a second and he smiled before someone drew his attention elsewhere. She frowned. After dropping her bombshell on him last night, she’d hoped he would have ignored her today, but no such luck.

The morning session dragged and Emma couldn’t concentrate. Josh was an excellent educator and his presentation was informative and interesting, but she couldn’t clear her mind enough from the previous night’s kiss in order to listen to what he was saying. She was mortified by her out-of-character behavior and if she wasn’t so embarrassed, she’d have gone straight up to him, apologized and set the record straight. She was sorry. And she wasn’t interested in him.

As soon as it was time for the morning tea break, Emma was the first to escape the stuffy room. She managed to sneak out while Josh’s attention was held answering another attendee’s question. Grabbing a coffee and a muffin, she found a quiet spot in a corner and sat, head down, pretending to be immersed in the conference teaching material. She needed Panadol. A restless night with little sleep and a thumping headache was not conducive to a positive learning environment and Josh’s proximity wasn’t helping matters either. She closed her eyes and massaged her temples. She should have stayed in bed for all the learning she was doing.

“Want to talk?”

She spun around in her chair. How had he crept up on her so quietly?

“No,” she said with a slight shake of her head. “I don’t want to talk.”

“Do you want to listen to me then?” He sat in the seat beside her.

“That’s all I’ve been doing all morning.” She wasn’t in the mood for a conversation.

He chuckled, clearly not in the least offended. “Yeah, true. You must be sick of hearing my voice. Anyway, I came over to talk to you about last night. You stormed off and left me hanging. You owe me an explanation, Emma. I wouldn’t have kissed you if I’d known you were married—”

“I’m
not
married,” she retorted, interrupting him.

He blinked, flustered. “What do you mean? You told me Lleyton is your husband.”

She rolled her eyes. “No. What I
told
you was it’s complicated.”

Josh sat next to her. “So why don’t you explain it to me?”

Emma glanced at her phone and checked the time. “It’s a long story and the next session is about to begin.”

“Skip it.”

“But don’t
you
have to be somewhere now?”

“No. I’m doing the session straight after lunch. I was about to head back to my room when I saw you sitting here.”

Emma sighed and eased back in her seat.

Josh leaned closer and lowered his voice. “How about you tell me what’s so complicated? I happen to find you incredibly sexy, and I thought there was chemistry between us. But right now I’m trying to get my head around the fact that last night you said you were
married
and your in-laws caught the two of us kissing and now you’re telling me you’re
not
married after all.” He shook his head. “You have to admit, you’re sending out screwed signals.”

Emma ran her fingers through her hair. “I told you last night I’m not that kind of woman. I’m not the kind who dresses flirtatiously and sits in bars drinking and waiting for men.”

Josh leaned closer and his thigh grazed hers. She jumped at the touch and moved away. He leaned in again. “And I’m not that kind of guy either.” He lowered his voice. “But you have to admit, that kiss – wow. What we had together last night was—”

“Nothing,” Emma said, edging further away. “It was nothing and it can’t be anything. Ever. Like I said, my life is kind of complicated right now.”

That was an understatement.

They fell silent again as they waited until the other conference attendees made their way back into the main room. Soon the two of them were left alone in the heavy carpeted stillness of the hotel foyer.

Josh’s eyes had darkened. “And I repeat, why don’t you explain it to me?”

He was right. She did owe him an explanation, but she wasn’t used to sharing personal information with a complete stranger. She found it hard enough to talk to her closest friends or her mum about what was going on.

She grabbed her water bottle and unscrewed the lid, but didn’t take a drink.

“I got an email yesterday afternoon. I found out Lleyton Chirnside – my
husband
– Winston and Mary-Margaret’s son – has agreed to a divorce. We’ve been separated for the past six months – ever since the night I found out he was having an affair.”

Josh stiffened before shifting position in the chair and sitting forward again. “Whoa. Okay. Sorry. I did not see that coming.”

“Neither did I. When you saw me last night at the bar, I was attempting to drown my sorrows in cocktails.” Unsuccessfully, she should have added.

She stood, gathered her handbag in both arms and clutched it to her chest like a shield. “Josh, it’s been lovely meeting you and I appreciate you taking the time to listen to me, but—”

“Can I call you?” he interrupted. “When the divorce is through and the dust has settled?”

“No. I’m really not interested.”

Disappointment flicked across his face and his shoulders sagged. “Another lifetime perhaps?” he suggested.

She shook her head. “No.”

And she meant it. He was a nice enough guy, but Josh Spencer wasn’t going to play any part in her future. The only reason she’d kissed him was because he reminded her of Tom.

Tom. Darn him. And Lleyton. In fact, darn all men in general. Without them she wouldn’t be in this mess.

*

The next day Emma flew back to Melbourne, and for the rest of the week didn’t sight Lleyton once. Even though they were separated, they still lived together in the house. He’d moved into one of the many spare bedrooms in their house and they rarely saw one another. He had clearly gone away somewhere – all his toiletries were missing from the bathroom and two suits and half a dozen shirts were gone from his wardrobe – but typically, he hadn’t bothered to leave her a note. Not that she cared anymore.

On Sunday night, she was home alone. Her belly rumbled, reminding her she’d skipped lunch. She crossed the kitchen and opened the fridge. Unfortunately, the food fairy hadn’t visited. Her meager choices included a couple of bruised Pink Lady apples, a tub of out-of-date passionfruit yogurt and a cling-wrapped block of cheese. Was that mold? She shuddered before tossing the cheese in the trash. The freezer was as barren as the South Pole. Her offerings were a loaf of white bread and her emergency stash of honeycomb ice cream. She’d been saving it for an extreme disaster, but figured with the weekend she’d just had, it classified. She scooped the dairy bliss into a bowl and headed back to the lounge as her phone rang.

“Mum.”

“Hello love.”

Emma visualized her mum sitting at the kitchen table in their house in Birrangulla, a regional town five hours’ drive west of Sydney. Her parents had lived in the same love-filled weatherboard house since moving from Ireland to Australia when Emma was six and she couldn’t imagine them ever leaving.

Sean and Lorraine would have eaten their weekly roast lamb dinner, washed and put the dishes away and Lorraine would be sitting at the table enjoying a quiet cup of tea and a Tim Tam or two. Sean would be sitting in front of the television in his favorite recliner, feet up, watching the football. Or more likely, yelling at the umpires.

“I’m so sorry I haven’t called lately,” Emma said, trying to shake off the guilt. She missed her parents dreadfully.

“That’s all right, love, we know how busy you are at work.”

“How are you? How’s Dad?”

“We’re good. We looked after Annabel today while Kate worked, so we’re pooped.” Annabel was Emma’s brother Joel and his wife Kate’s first child, an adorable five-year-old pocket rocket.

“How is my gorgeous niece?” Emma asked.

“Growing up too fast.”

Emma smiled at her mum’s tone. She might sound like she was complaining, but her mum was born to play the role of doting grandmother. Her mum only worked one day a week at the local primary school as a teacher’s aide and claimed she had plenty of free time to babysit. She also never hid the fact she wished there were more babies on the way.

“Annabel is a cutie,” Lorraine continued with a chuckle, “but she gives us the run around.”

“And Joel and Kate? How are they doing?”

When Joel met and fell in love with Kate, Emma had initially found it extremely difficult to accept the woman who had helped mend her brother’s broken heart. She still cringed at the memory of how petulant and childish she’d been in the early days of their relationship. Thankfully, she and Kate were now good friends and it had been Kate who had inspired Emma to become a nurse not long after they met. Joel and Kate were happily married and ran the hugely popular and extremely successful paddock-to-plate farm and café, Eagles Ridge.

“They’re both busy too. I hope they haven’t taken on too much with the farm because Kate’s looking very tired lately.”

Kicking off her shoes, Emma plonked herself down on the couch to settle in for a good chat with her mum. She switched off the television so she could concentrate on their conversation and it plunged the empty old house into a lonely silence. She got up again, flicked the gas on the imitation log fire, and watched as the blue flames became orange. Heat quickly permeated through the coldness of the room.

“I miss everyone,” she said.

“You can always visit,” Lorraine said softly. It wasn’t accusatory. “You could do with some time off. You work so hard.”

Emma sighed. She hated lying to her mum but she didn’t want to admit she was now on two weeks’ annual leave and had no plans other than to talk to Lleyton about the divorce and settlement.
If
he ever came back to the house.

“I’ve just come back from Sydney,” she said. “I went to a conference.” She spooned ice cream into her mouth.

“A conference is not the same thing as having time off,” Lorraine replied.

“I know.”

“Is everything all right?”

Emma ignored the question. “Anyway, the conference was good. I learned a lot.”

“What are you not telling me, love?” Lorraine asked.

Typical. Nothing got past her mum. Her invisible radar picked up when anything was wrong with one of her kids, even over the phone. Emma wished she’d inherited even a small portion of her mum’s intuition. Maybe then she might have guessed Lleyton’s secret.

“What’s wrong darling?” Lorraine repeated. “You’re miles away tonight.”

She imagined her mum shoving her glasses up the bridge of her nose with one finger. Squeezing her eyes tight, Emma placed her unfinished bowl of ice cream on the coffee table. She would not cry.

“Nothing.”

“What’s wrong with Emma?” In the background, she heard her dad’s question.

Emma forced a smile. Her dad would be pretending to watch the football, but he’d be listening to every word of Lorraine’s end of the phone call and would give his wife the third degree afterward.

“Is it Lleyton?”

“Sean.” Her mum’s voice held a warning tone. “We’ve talked about this. Don’t keep putting Lleyton down.”

“Tell Dad I’m fine.”

“
Is
it Lleyton?” Lorraine said softly. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“The beginning is usually the best place.”

Her mother’s Irish lilt washed over Emma like a comforting blanket.

She opened her mouth to say something and closed it again. How to begin?

“Come on love, I’m all ears.”

Emma knew her dad couldn’t hear, but she lowered her voice anyway. “Lleyton and I are getting a divorce.”

Lorraine sighed. There was a shuffling sound on the other end of the phone and Emma pictured her mum getting up and moving into another room to hear her better.

“Oh love. I knew things weren’t good between you two, but I didn’t expect it was bad enough you would go your separate ways. Although now I think about it, Lleyton
was
very distant when I came down at Easter.”

“We’ve been separated since New Year’s.”

“What do you mean? I saw you both together when I stayed with you.”

“He had moved into one of the spare bedrooms. I didn’t want you to worry, so I didn’t say anything.”

“So you’re still living together then. You could work this out?”

Despite herself, Emma smiled. Lorraine had never warmed to Lleyton, but she was ever the optimist when it came to love and happy-ever-after endings.

“Yes, we’re still living in the same house, but no, this can’t be worked out.”

“Why? What’s he done?”

Emma inhaled deeply. “He had an affair.” As she spoke, fresh anger bubbled up. “I feel so betrayed, Mum,” she said, sniffing and stabbing at the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

“When did you find out?”

“On New Year’s Eve. I was meant to work a twelve-hour shift but it got changed. I finished early and found them at home getting ready to go out to a party.”

That was all Emma was prepared to say about it. Revealing the full details of Lleyton’s affair was still too painful.

“I was so angry. I stormed out, slamming the front door so hard the mirror which hangs on the wall in the entry shattered into a trillion pieces.” She sniffed again, remembering the ugly tears she’d cried at the time. “How many years of bad luck do you think
that
will bring?”

“Where did you go? What did you do?”

“I drove around aimlessly for about four hours bawling my eyes out until all the fireworks started going off around the city. I realized I was low on fuel and I’d left everything back at the house. My handbag, my wallet, my phone. When I got home, all the glass had been cleaned up and there was no sign of Lleyton. He hadn’t even left me a note. He didn’t come home for three days.”