Life Support: Escape to the Country (25 page)

“You love me?” Tom asked in the sudden silence.

Emma was still squatting at his feet. She stood. “Yes, I love you. I told you that but you still pushed me away. Tom, I’ve loved you since I was sixteen.”

He smiled then and her cold heart thawed. All the anger and disappointment she’d felt toward him dissipated. She wanted to run into his arms and sob against his chest, but she clenched her fists and forced herself to leave her arms by her side. He needed to make the next move.

And then he did.

He reached for her hands and held them in his. “I am
so
sorry.”

She swallowed again and bit her lip because she didn’t trust herself to speak.

“I don’t deserve you after how I’ve treated you.” His voice cracked.

Her heart plummeted. After she’d told him she loved him, was he still going to leave?

“Tom—”

He released her hand and pressed a finger to her lips. “Shh. It’s my turn now. When Nicola left me, I was left with two broken hearts – mine and Ruby’s. When you care too much and something happens, it leaves scars. Hearts don’t heal easily. I vowed I wasn’t going to put Ruby in that position again. Then you came along and my resolve was shattered. I kept trying to push you away and put space between all of us, but like a magnet, you kept getting pulled closer. Closer to me and closer to Ruby. I saw it happening and to be honest it scared the crap out of me. I knew you loved her. I saw it in your eyes but I was terrified because I’d never told you I couldn’t have any more kids.”

“Tom—”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “I should have told you. Nicola left because she couldn’t fall pregnant. Three months later she met another guy and the next minute she was parading around town with a rapidly expanding belly.”

Poor Tom. No wonder he was hurting so much.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to give you children of your own. You don’t deserve to miss out.”

“Why didn’t you ask me what I want?”

“I already know what you want. You told me.”

“I want you.”

Tom’s eyes glistened with unshed tears.

“There are no guarantees in life Tom. On anything. Sometimes you have to choose to love anyway, although you might get hurt.”

A pulse hammered in his throat. The tension eased. “I love you too Emma,” he murmured.

He cupped her face in his hands. His fingers were hot, and her skin burned from his unexpected touch. He leaned his head closer to hers and the lips that touched hers were soft and warm. With a low groan, he kissed her again. This time the anger was gone, replaced with rising passion.

Heat pooled in her abdomen and desire ran through her veins. Throwing caution to the wind, she kissed him back. Looping her arms around his neck, she pressed herself as close to him as she could.

He pulled back slightly and met her gaze with a question.

“Come home,” she whispered in answer.

Passion flared in his eyes.

She chuckled. “I take it that’s a yes.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, his eyes searching hers again.

“Say yes Tom.”

He nodded. “Yes.”

Emma didn’t hesitate. She grabbed his hand and they ran to his car parked in the street.

*

The twenty-minute drive to Lexton Downs passed in slow motion and in complete silence. Tom gripped her hand, holding it against his thigh. She couldn’t stop thinking, imagining, anticipating what was about to happen.

He drove past the darkened outline of horses standing at the fence and with a small skid, pulled up in front of Bluestone Cottage. He raced around to open her door, helped her step down and in one swift move, scooped her up. She grabbed his shoulders, giggling as he carried her to the front door. He fumbled with her keys, the door handle, the light switch and almost dropped her twice, but refused to put her down. She was dizzy and drugged, so intoxicated by his kisses that nothing mattered – not the past, not the future. All that mattered was what was happening now.

They made love tenderly and afterward she shed silent tears as he tucked her in tight, spooning her body against his. She lay that way, listening to his soft breathing and the steady beating of his heart.

“You’re very quiet,” he murmured in her ear.

She rolled over to face him. “I thought you’d fallen asleep.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep,” he said, stroking her hair back from her face.

“Me either.”

“I love you Em.”

Suddenly the words seemed hard to find. She stroked his cheek and unexpected tears pricked her eyes. “I love you too,” she whispered. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

When he spoke again his voice was raspy, his words filled with emotion. “Will you marry me?”

She drew her breath in sharply and swallowed hard. “When?”

He chuckled. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

The next morning Emma drove to work in a daze. She was getting married. The memory of the night before caused a warmth to flood straight to her abdomen. She couldn’t stop thinking about his lips on hers, the shivers of excitement she’d felt in his arms. She hated leaving him lying there in her bed, but he promised he’d be there waiting when she got home after work. Happy tears pricked her eyes.

The early morning sun started its rapid ascent on the eastern horizon, causing it to flicker between the gnarled gum trees lining either side of the road. The dappled sunlight made the surrounding paddocks look magical. Or maybe that was the rose-colored glasses through which she was currently viewing the world. It already felt hot and the haze over the paddocks suggested it was only going to get hotter. She pressed the button to wind down the window, cranked up the music and allowed the breeze to wrap around her. She let her mind wander, already racing ahead to their wedding day.

She came up a steep rise and saw the familiar orchards on one side of the road and a vineyard on the other. Farmers were in for a bumper crop with the cherry and apple trees heavy laden with fruit. On her left, lines of grapevines cascaded down the side of the hill like dominoes.

Settling back into the leather seat, she glanced at her phone when it vibrated in the holder on the dashboard. It was Tom, texting her. Probably telling her how much he loved her again. She’d already received two texts from him that morning. One when she was in the shower telling her the bed was cold and that he missed her already and the other when she was eating breakfast, begging her to come back for one last kiss before she left for work. She smiled. What words of love would
this
message contain?

The large mob of gray kangaroos burst into her peripheral vision from nowhere. Ahead of her on the other side of the road, a dusty white four-wheel drive was towing a horse float. The driver had seen the kangaroos at the same time as Emma and was already swerving across the white line toward her in an attempt to avoid the animals.

Emma didn’t have time to think as the first kangaroo made a dash across the road between the two vehicles, followed by the others. Acting on impulse, she slammed her foot down on the brake and heard the screech of tires as the rubber searched unsuccessfully for traction on the asphalt. Any moment now and she expected to feel the impact of a kangaroo across the bonnet of her car.

The other vehicle was still careening toward her, the float now jack-knifed and traveling sideways. Emma’s wheels locked as she yanked the steering wheel hard to the left but the momentum of her car traveling at one hundred kilometers an hour hurtled her forward. The rear left tire skidded across the gravel and she lost control. She twisted her head sideways as her brain registered the fact she was about to hit the tree.

The impact was bigger than she expected. Glass shattered and fireworks exploded. Or was that the airbags? Pain speared deep within her gut. Somewhere in the darkness a horse screamed. Another sound pulled at her – the long, low monotonous sound of a car’s horn – before she was sucked down a long tunnel of blessed silence.

*

Nothing prepared Emma for the sight that greeted her when she opened her eyes. She had no idea how much time had passed. She was covered in a fine white powder and the air around her smelled like something was burning. She tested her arms as she pushed the airbags away from her face. A pain in her side made her gasp. Each breath she took was torturous. Maybe broken ribs. She stared into the darkness through her front windscreen and it took her moments before she realized why everything was hazy. The safety glass was intact but completely shattered. The horse float had slammed sideways into the front of Emma’s car and was leaning precariously sideways. She pushed open her door, amazed when it opened so easily, but it was then that she discovered she couldn’t move. Her legs were pinned by the steering wheel. She wriggled her toes, relieved that there was movement. At least she hadn’t broken her back. But she was still trapped.

Her ears were ringing – she must have burst her eardrums – but she could still hear the sound of the horses as they screeched and thudded around in the half-overturned float. The sight greeting her made her shudder. The four-wheel drive was right beside her. A man was slumped across the wheel, his forehead leaning on the horn. Blood ran down his cheeks from a large wound to his head. Bile rose up in the back of her throat and Emma vomited before passing out again.

*

“If they’re making noise, they’re breathing.” A voice cut through her darkness, dragging Emma slowly awake. Where was she? What had happened? She tried to moan and open her eyes to let the man know she was alive but nothing came out of her mouth.

There were more voices and more sirens and more bright lights shining in her eyes. She tried to lift her hands to cover her face but her arms wouldn’t respond.

“You’re going to be okay. Hang in there sweetie. We’ll get you out as soon as we can.” It was a woman’s voice, the words comforting, soothing, calming. A mask was slipped over Emma’s face and she breathed deeply, grateful for the oxygen.

She tried to smile but her face was numb. The woman slipped a bright blue tourniquet around Emma’s upper arm and a large cannula was effortlessly slid into her vein. The woman secured it with tape and a dressing and attached a line to it. Soon life-saving fluids were pumping their way into her body. Emma closed her eyes as another wave of pain washed over her.

“We need to get her out now,” a woman called out. Emma forced her eyes open. The woman’s words were measured, but Emma heard the hint of panic, saw the look in her eyes, knew what it meant. “She’s in and out of consciousness and her breathing is getting worse.”

“We have to wait for the SES. They need to move the horses first then cut the front of her car off.”

It was a man with an accent. She frowned. It sounded like Liam. What was Liam doing there?

“How’s the other driver?” the woman asked.

“Fine. He was knocked out at first but he came around and called triple O. He saved her life.”

“Lucky she was driving a decent car.”

Emma tried to smile but her face didn’t seem to be working. Lleyton would be happy to know the Mercedes was worth the ninety thousand dollar price tag.
Lleyton.
She shuddered. Was this how he felt before he died?

Sounds crashed like relentless waves inside Emma’s head. She wanted to be sick again but there was nothing left inside her.

Suddenly the man with the accent swore.

“Jesus, it’s Emma. It’s my sister.”

“WHAT?”

“It’s my sister. I didn’t recognize her until you mentioned the Merc. We have to get her out now.”

“We will Liam, but we have to do this by the book.”

Liam cursed again.

“Get out of the way Karen, let me get to her. Em, it’s me. You’re going to be okay sis. Do you have any pain?” He was up close now, right next to her right ear.

Emma tried to nod but it hurt too much. She grimaced instead. Hopefully that would suffice as a yes. She tried to speak but the effort of breathing was too difficult.

“Her sats are dropping, Kaz. She’s gray. We need to get her out now!”

More time passed but Emma had no idea whether she was dreaming or awake as she passed in and out of consciousness. The pain was so intense she could barely breathe. After a while she realized what the rattling sound was – it was her own breathing.

More lights flashed in her eyes. She heard mechanical sounds, like a chainsaw being started then it stopped again. The sound of a single gunshot followed by a second one cut through the air before everything was quiet. Emma suddenly realized why.
The horses.
Her heart split in half as tears ran down her cheeks.

It was the last thing she remembered before everything went black again.

*

It felt like a never-ending nightmare. In her sleep-wake state, someone was wheeling her along a long corridor and all she saw were ceiling tiles and lights. She was so hot. She must have fallen asleep with the electric blanket on. She tried to kick off the sheet but someone kept throwing it back over her.

She heard a voice before a face leaned over. “Emma, it’s Mackenzie. Don’t try to open your eyes. You’ve had an accident and you’re in ED. We’re going to stabilize you here before you go up to the ICU.”

The intensive care unit? What was she doing at the hospital? She didn’t work in ICU. She heard more voices but her eyes refused to open. Her neck was stuck and her legs wouldn’t move either. She felt pinned down. Trapped. Scared.

“Don’t try to move Emma. Lie still. You’ve had an accident.” Another woman’s voice. It sounded vaguely familiar too, but she couldn’t place it. “You’re going to be okay.”

Then why can’t I breathe?

She felt hot then cold and had a flying sensation. Someone was yelling but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. A mask was clamped over her face.

“She’s arresting!”

A massive weight landed in the middle of her chest and she panicked. It felt like she was suffocating.

“We need to tube her now!”

Her body was rocked from side to side. Someone called her name, begging her to respond. She needed air. She tried to scream. She couldn’t breathe. She had a vague sensation of being pushed then pulled before something cold slid down her throat.

Then there was nothing.

*

Emma heard voices but her eyes felt glued shut. She tried to move but her entire body was paralyzed. Had she broken her neck? Was she a quadriplegic? Memories flooded back. The kangaroos, the morning sun in her eyes, the other car coming toward her. She remembered the smell and the taste of fear. Remembered the pain but that was all. She tried to muster all her energy to move her arm. Nothing. She concentrated hard and tried to move her finger. Still nothing. Worry filled her. How was she going to let them know she was awake? That she could hear them?

“Hello love.” A warm hand stroked her head.

Emma immediately relaxed. Her mum was there. Everything would be all right.

“You’re in the hospital Emma. In ICU. You had a car accident. You couldn’t breathe on your own and the doctors put a tube down into your lungs to help you. You are going to be okay. I’m here, Daddy’s here. Joel and Kate and Liam are all here too. They’re in the waiting room. We love you darling. Keep fighting, you’re going to be okay.”

The words joined and floated around like her favorite piece of music. Emma allowed herself to drift.

We love you. We love you. We love you.

“I love you too Emma. Don’t give up. Please hang in there. Fight. I don’t want to lose you too.”

Tom
. She wanted to smile. Of course she wouldn’t give up.

Fingers gripped hers and she tried to squeeze back but her hands weren’t working. Tom’s minty breath tickled her face and something warm dripped on her cheek. Was he crying? He planted a soft kiss on her forehead – so soft it felt like a butterfly had landed and taken off again. She tried to prize her eyes open but they wouldn’t move. Were they taped closed?

“Rest Emma. Get better. I love you.”

She drifted off listening to his declaration of love once more.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

*

When she woke again it was so bright. She squinted and tried to move her head away from the light but her head felt so heavy.

“Pupils equal and reactive. That’s a good sign.”

It was a man’s voice. He had a Scottish accent that sounded vaguely familiar but she couldn’t place it. Where was Tom?

“This is Emma O’Connor. Twenty-eight-year-old. Came in after an MVA two days ago. Tubed in ED due to airway obstruction.” The doctor giving handover took a deep breath. “But the good news is, other than some minor facial injuries from the airbag, miraculously nothing major was broken and she’ll survive.”

“She’s tough. She’s a fighter.” It was her mum’s voice. Emma tried to smile. She wasn’t a fighter, but she liked that her mum described her that way.

“We’ll keep her well sedated.”

She dozed again but this time a horror movie played in her head. She was a prisoner and no one knew where she was. They wanted to harvest her organs while she was alive. She was so cold. Icy cold. And with that coldness came an awareness of intense, agonizing pain. She felt herself slipping backward into darkness but something was shaking her, pulling at her and dragging her back to the surface.

“Emma? Can you hear me? That’s it. Open your eyes. Everything’s all right. It’s Kate. I’m going to give you something for the pain.”

The disembodied voice of her sister-in-law nagged at Emma, asking questions, demanding answers. She wished the voice would go away and leave her alone. But then there were more noises and movement. People were talking and their voices were so loud.
Can’t they go away and leave me in peace?

She heard her mother’s voice again. It sounded like she was hovering over the end of the bed. Emma imagined Tom’s face on the overhead television screen. Maybe he was on Skype. She was deliriously confused. Where was she?

Time was a roller coaster. Some moments the haze cleared, other moments the pit of her gut was filled with an awful depression. People came and went, strangers introducing themselves and leaving again. Emma’s parents were always there as were Kate, Joel and Liam. The hospital chaplain visited regularly too, taking time to sit beside Emma and hold her hand. She couldn’t remember seeing Tom, but she dreamed he popped in and out, always on his own. He never stayed for long and when he left she felt the aching loss of his presence.