Life Support: Escape to the Country (19 page)

“I’ve ordered two bags of blood,” Lisa said, as she burst into the room.

“I don’t want a transfusion.” Ann’s voice was weak but clear.

Goosebumps exploded on Emma’s skin.

“Blood is safe, Ann,” Damian assured her, looking at Tony for support. Instead Tony sank into the chair beside the bed and dropped his head into his hands.

“We’re Jehovah’s Witnesses. Ann can’t receive blood.”

Emma let out a small gasp before clapping her hand to her mouth. Why hadn’t anyone checked their admission paperwork?

All the air seemed to be sucked from the room.

“Even if it’s life or death?” Damian asked gently.

Tony’s face looked anguished and he grabbed Ann’s hand.

“What do you think sweetheart?”

“I’d rather die than disappoint God. You know we can’t change our beliefs when it suits us, dear. We’ve been taught to respect life as a gift and not try to sustain it by taking blood. Even in an emergency.” The speech exhausted her and she fell back in the bed.

Shocked silence filled the room as the medical staff looked from one to the other in bewilderment.

“Does she really need a blood transfusion?” Tony asked.

“We need to control her bleeding which we can try to do in theater. They’ll pack the liver and try to help with clotting, but the liver is made up of a spongy material that acts as a filter for blood. They’ll attempt to sew it together but doing so is like trying to sew a sponge up while it sits under a tap of running water. We’ll try to fill her with non-blood products, but I can’t promise you anything. I don’t yet know what her blood count is but I can see from the drain that she’s already lost massive amounts. I expect her Hb to be very low.”

Tony nodded, his face grave, barely comprehending.

“Tony, you need to know that without a blood transfusion, the fatality rate for a liver laceration is very high. If she survives the surgery, she may not survive intensive care.”

“Do whatever you can.”

Moments later, they rushed Ann to theater.

She hadn’t returned by the time Emma shuffled out the door to go home, her bag slung over her slumped shoulder. When she passed the small chapel she caught sight of Tony sitting quietly, head bowed, his hands folded in prayer, surrounded by members of his church family. Emma paused briefly at the door, wanting to say something or offer some sort of encouragement, but she felt like she was intruding on a sacred moment.

She walked away, sensing her words would be worthless anyway.

*

She staggered through the back door half an hour later, disappointed to find no one appeared to be home. She had hoped her mum would be in her usual place in the kitchen preparing the evening meal. If she had been, Emma would have sat while she cooked and shared her burden. It had been an awful shift. Instead, she dragged her feet upstairs and took a long shower, letting the water wash away the day. Fifteen minutes later, she headed back downstairs and heard noises outside.

“Mum? Dad?”

“Out here darling.”

Lorraine was in the garden pulling out weeds. Her floppy sun hat came down low over her face and shaded her eyes, but Emma knew they would be sparkling. Once again, Emma was aware of how lucky she was to have her mum with her. Her mum had fought her own battle against breast cancer and been cancer free for years.

Sean sat on the back step sucking in a deep breath of nicotine. When he caught sight of her, he stubbed out the butt and stood, frantically waving his arms to disperse the clouds of poisonous smoke.

“Sorry, love,” he apologized as he stubbed out the butt with his boot.

“Da-ad.” Emma let him hear the full weight of her disapproval. “I thought you’d quit.”

“I only have one every now and then, love, that’s all.”

She scowled at him before planting a kiss on his cheek anyway.

She sank down on the back step her dad had recently vacated. “Hey, Mum.”

“Hi, darling. Busy day?”

When Emma sighed heavily Lorraine put down the trowel, pulled off her gloves, slid her hat back on her head and studied her daughter. “What happened?”

Sean gave Emma a kiss on the top of her head. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”

Once the back door had slammed behind him, Emma relayed the story of Tony and Ann to her mum.

“Emma, love, that’s awful. I’m sure the doctor that made the mistake feels terrible.” Lorraine came and sat beside her, scooting Emma across with one hip to make room for her.

“We all feel terrible.”

“What was the outcome?”

“That’s the worst part. I don’t know. She was in theater when I left.”

Her mum remained silent and Emma waited for the words of wisdom she knew she was about to receive.

“That’s why you’re a nurse Emma. You have an incredible privilege to walk beside people from all faiths and lifestyles as they go through triumphs
and
tragedies. This is one of those tragedies. The important thing is to learn how to let it go. Don’t carry their burdens with you.”

Emma gave her mum a quick hug.

“Now why don’t you tell me what’s really wrong?”

“How did you know?”

“Because you’re my daughter.”

Emma sighed. “It’s Tom. I can’t work him out.”

Lorraine chuckled. “Since when are women supposed to be able to work men out?”

“Seriously Mum, I’m getting mixed messages from him. My feelings for him haven’t changed since I was a teenager, but he blows hot and cold. One minute I get the feeling he wants to be friends, then the next minute it’s pretty obvious he wants something more.” She felt her face redden. “A
lot
more. Yesterday after we’d been out riding he told me he considers we’re in a relationship. But it doesn’t always feel like a relationship. At least not the kind I want to have with him.”

“You have to talk to him, love. The best way to sort this out is good old-fashioned communication.”

Emma sighed. “I know you’re right and believe me I’ve tried.”

“Does he remember—?”

Emma cut her mum off. “No.”

“You have to tell him.”

“I can’t. I’m too embarrassed.”

Lorraine pulled Emma into a sideways hug. “Secrets aren’t good in a relationship.”

“As if I don’t know
that
,” Emma murmured.

They sat in silence for a while before Emma spoke again.

“He doesn’t want me to get close to Ruby.”

“Why not?”

“He said he’s protecting Ruby. He wants to see where our relationship leads first before letting her get close to me.”

“I would have thought that was the complete wrong thing to do. It would be better if Ruby saw your friendship grow into something more and give her time to adjust to having you in her dad’s life.”

“Precisely what I told him.”

“And he doesn’t agree?”

“He switches off and shuts down every time I try to talk about it.”

“There’s only one thing you can do love.”

Emma glanced at her mum, waiting, believing, hoping for the magical answer. “What’s that?”

“Spend as much time with him as possible and find ways to include Ruby in your plans.” Lorraine kissed Emma on the forehead. “And give it time.”

The evening for the much-anticipated canoe trip arrived.

“Watch out for snakes,” Tom said as he jumped down from the cab.

She stopped in her tracks and bit back a scream. “Snakes?”

Tom chuckled. “I wouldn’t worry, we’re making enough noise to scare them away, but sometimes you see them close to the bank. Just be alert.”

Emma took in her surroundings, keeping a watchful eye for any black or brown reptiles that might be slithering through the tall grasses. She spied a bright green canoe resting on the sandy riverbank. Lifting her brand new Akubra from her head, she allowed the warm breeze to tug at her hair as she turned her face to the slowly setting sun. It was going to be a magical night whether they saw the platypus or not.

Tom flipped the canoe over and loaded a small backpack into it. His biceps bulged as he lifted it above his head and carried it to the river. Placing one paddle on the bow, he slid it into the water.

“Climb in,” he said with a grin.

Emma carefully crept forward, her center of gravity low as she clutched the gunwales. When she was seated, she picked up her oar and balanced it across her knees while she waited for Tom to climb in and push off. They fell silent as they paddled the canoe into the middle of the river, away from the reeds. The strength of the current surprised her and she gritted her teeth with each stroke.

“When we get around the bend up ahead, it gets easier. This part of the river flows quickly.”

For the next ten minutes the only sound was their oars simultaneously smacking the water. On her left the land rose steeply. To her right, through the hedging of gum trees, was farming land. While keeping her eyes peeled for the elusive platypus, she spotted plenty of wallabies and there was evidence of rabbits everywhere.

As they came into a wider section of the river, she felt Tom steering them toward the bank. When he got closer to the river’s edge, he stopped paddling. She twisted her head to look at him. He was as much at ease in the canoe on the river as he was on a horse and looked just as good.

She remembered the years she’d watched him rowing at school. Remembered how he was the biggest of his teammates and his muscles had pulled taut under the thin lycra tops the crew had worn. Today, his muscles were covered by a loose shirt, but she knew they were there and desperately wanted to run her hands over them. The setting sun cast dappled shadows over them, making his dark hair look like it was made of shades of gold. Diamonds danced across the surface of the river as the sun slipped down. There was nothing except for the sound of the small waves lapping against the riverbank and the pounding of her heart.

Emma trailed her fingers in the water. “It’s freezing.”

“It’s always cold. This river flows straight down from the mountains.”

“So, no swimming?”

“I didn’t say that. Trust me, when it’s forty degrees in the shade in summer, the river is the best place to be. Ruby and I often camp down here over the Christmas break.”

“I’d love to join you sometime.”

“Look.”

Expecting a platypus, Emma turned around excitedly, rocking the canoe from side to side, but it was only a pair of ducks. She was about to express her disappointment when four ducklings appeared. One by one they ducked their heads under the cool depths before looking up and shaking off the excess water.

“They’re so cute.”

Tom chuckled at her enthusiasm.

 They sat in silence once again, the canoe drifting closer to the river’s edge. She jumped when Tom tapped her on the shoulder and pointed. She followed the direction of his finger and caught her first glimpse of the platypus as it rested momentarily on a log before sliding under the surface of the water again.

Her mouth opened in an O shape but no words came out.

The platypus surfaced and was joined by another and then a third. They swam and rolled and ducked and weaved for the next five minutes. Tom and Emma sat transfixed, watching them play.

As the light faded, they disappeared beneath the surface, their performance over for the night.

“Scientists call them the strangest animal on earth,” Tom said as he maneuvered the canoe around and began paddling back up the river.

On the other side of the canoe, Emma kept in time with his strokes. “Why’s that?”

“They’re a hodgepodge of other animals. They have webbed feet like a frog, a bill like a duck, a tail like a beaver and the body of an otter. And the males have venom like a snake.”

“But they look so cute. I had no idea they were poisonous.”

“Only during mating season.”

“Do you see them often?”

“Every time I come here, I see at least one. That’s the first time I’ve seen three. It must be because you’re here.”

Tom turned the canoe around and they slowly paddled back down the river. By the time they arrived at the spot where they’d parked the car, the water was inky black, the crickets were singing and the sun had set, bathing them in its soft aftermath. As they pulled the canoe from the river and stowed their bags in the car, something scurried behind the bushes. Emma jumped in fright and Tom laughed at her before pulling her close.

“I’ll protect you,” he said as his lips curved into a smile and he leaned down to kiss her.

Emma felt her knees give way as his lips met hers. She weaved her fingers into the hair at the back of his head and tugged him closer. Heat came off his body in waves and she felt the hard muscle of his stomach pressed up against her chest. He deepened the kiss until it filled her soul. When they broke apart, she shivered, not realizing how cool it had become. Wind whipped across the water, wrapping chilled fingers around them.

“As much as I’d like to stay here kissing you, we should get going or Mum might send out a search party.”

Emma glanced at the black clouds rolling toward them. “Is it going to rain?”

“Yeah. They’ve forecast a storm tonight.”

Fingers laced, hearts full, they walked to the car.

 “I forgot to tell you there’s a letter at the cottage for you,” Tom said, as he pulled away from the river and they bounced across the dry paddocks. “I
t arrived yesterday and I completely forgot to tell you.”

“Who would write to me at the cottage?”

“It was addressed to you care of Lexton Downs. Handwritten. Looks like a personal letter.”

Emma frowned. No one knew her address was Lexton Downs.

Suddenly there wasn’t enough oxygen in the air. The Chirnsides. Heat crept up her neck. Her tongue felt dry against the roof of her mouth.

“Crap!”

Tom pulled on the handbrake, turned and stared at her. “What’s wrong?”

The car’s engine idled noisily. The sky darkened further and a few drops of rain fell. Wind ripped through the trees, dropping leaves and gum nuts onto the car’s roof like bullets.

Emma moistened her lips and forced the answer past her dry throat. “The only person I know who still writes letters in this day and age is Mary-Margaret Chirnside.”

At Tom’s troubled look, she sighed. “Trust me, this letter will
not
be an invitation to join them for Christmas dinner.”

*

The door to the cottage caught in the wind, slamming behind her. Emma winced. She hoped the sound hadn’t woken Judy if she was asleep. Emma glanced around the kitchen, looking for the letter. It was propped up against the pair of salt and pepper shakers on the kitchen table and her heart sank the moment she recognized the cursive script. She was about to retrieve it and leave quietly when she heard the soft call.

“Tom? Is that you?”

Judy’s voice wasn’t particularly loud, but it had a note of urgency in it.

“Tom.”

Judy’s voice was louder this time and to Emma’s ears, she sounded anxious. Emma cast a nervous glance out the window. She’d left Tom at the stables, getting the horses sorted before the storm hit. As they’d driven home from the river, thick black storm clouds had gathered and judging from the smell outside, heavy rain wasn’t far away. Emma paused in the doorway debating what to do. Should she go to Judy or get Tom? She was about to head outside when Judy called a third time. In an instant, Emma changed her mind and tentatively followed the sound of Judy’s urgent demands.

“Tom, honey. I need you in here.”

Emma knocked once and called out softly before slowly pushing open the bedroom door. The heavy drapes were drawn and the room was dark. Emma flicked on the light and gasped in disbelief. Judy, as white as a sheet, sat in bed gasping for breath. From across the room Emma heard the rattling sound of lungs filled with fluid.

Stay calm
. Emma mentally steadied herself while her mind raced.
Should we drive her into hospital? How long would an ambulance take to get out to Lexton Downs?

“I’ll get Tom.”

“It’s all right. There’s no rush sweetie. It’s the cancer,” Judy said. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “It’s everywhere now.”

Emma sighed softly. “I’m sorry Judy. Tom told me.”

There was commotion at the back door. Tom must have wondered what was taking Emma so long. His boots beat an urgent tap across the floorboards as he strode down the hallway and burst into his mum’s bedroom. To Emma’s amazement, he didn’t seem fazed by the sight of his mum struggling for each breath.

Tom sat on the bed beside Judy and stroked back her gray hair where it clung to her moist forehead. “Can you call an ambulance please Emma?” he asked quietly.

She nodded and pulled her phone from her back pocket before dialing triple zero and waiting impatiently to be connected.

“They’re on their way,” she said moments later. “Is there anything I can do?” It would be at least half an hour before they got there.

“Call Sophie,” Judy whispered, each word an effort.

“Not yet. I don’t want to alarm her,” Tom said.

“Please Tom. You need to call her. She has to be told. I think it might be—”

Tom didn’t let Judy finish her sentence. “No. Don’t say it and don’t even think it.”

Emma saw tears glistening in his eyes.

“You need to call your sister,” Judy stated again, softer this time. She looked like she was going to pass out.

Emma rested her hand on Tom’s shoulder and squeezed gently.

“I will,” Tom replied. “I promise. Once the ambulance is here and we’ve got you sorted and on the way into hospital, I’ll call her.”

How did he manage to sound so calm? If it had been her mother, she’d be freaking out.

“Tell her to come home. It’s time.”

A crash of thunder drew Emma’s attention out the window. The storm was directly above them. Rain pounded the tin roof, loud as hailstones, and streaked down the windows. Wind whistled and gusted, trying to push its way into the little cottage. Dusk had rapidly darkened into evening and the hot day had gone from sunny to sodden in the space of seconds.

She helped Tom get Judy ready for the ambulance but it required so much effort on Judy’s behalf and she fell back in the bed exhausted. Emma checked her watch. The ambulance couldn’t be far away now.

By the time it arrived, the storm had passed overhead. When Emma and Tom stepped outside to meet them, Emma was relieved Liam was one of the paramedics on duty. After Judy was carefully loaded onto a stretcher, the ambulance headed back to Birrangulla.

Tom’s hand was warm on Emma’s back as he guided her across the wet grass to his car. The sky was a pitch black curtain covered in twinkling stars. Emma looked up and a wave of emotions hit her. She sniffed softly, wishing she could articulate her swirling thoughts and emotions.

“Hey,” Tom said, stopping and looking at her. “You’re crying.” His voice was concerned, questioning.

“I know. And I’m sorry.” Emma said. “It doesn’t seem fair. Your mum doesn’t deserve this.”

With one finger, Tom gently tucked Emma’s hair behind her ear. The intimacy of the gesture moved her beyond anything she’d ever felt for him.

He tenderly touched her cheek and gently wiped the salted tears from her face. “Life’s not always fair, Em. You should know that.”

“Why haven’t you told Sophie?”

“Mum wouldn’t let me. I think she was hanging on to meet her first grandchild. Lily is three months old. Sophie and her husband Alex’s first baby. They were planning on coming over for Christmas so we could all meet her.”

“But that’s still over six weeks away. What if your mum—?” Emma’s voice trailed off. She didn’t want to think the thought, let alone say it out loud. “You promised your mum you’d call Sophie. You need to do that now.”

“I’ll call her after we’ve been to the hospital and I have something to tell her.”

Emma shook her head. “Call her now.”

Tom sighed heavily and picked up the phone. Emma stood beside him as he punched in the number for his sister on the other side of the world.

Sophie answered on the first ring as though she had been waiting for the call – the call where the voice on the other end would tell her the bad news. This wasn’t that call, but it might as well have been. Emma breathed in the sadness that misted around Tom. Though he and Sophie were on opposite sides of the world, they were connected by their love for their mum.

Through tears Tom spoke, barely managing to get her name out. “Soph,” he whispered. “You have to come home.”

Emma pictured his sister’s shock and her heart splintered for a woman she didn’t know.

“Mum says it’s time,” Tom said.

As Tom listened to his sister, a cloud crossed his features. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Christmas may be too late. I think you need to come now,” he repeated.

Emma placed a hand on his arm and squeezed gently, hoping the tiny touch would give him the comfort he needed.

Tom listened again. “I’m sorry Soph, I know it’s not easy for you being so far away. I wish I had a crystal ball, but I don’t. If only any of us knew how long she’s got, but the doctors won’t say. All I know is she’s asking for you. She said it’s time.” He paused and dragged in a deep breath. “I’m really sorry sis.”

Hot tears streamed down Emma’s cheeks, one after the other, falling so hard and fast she could have caught them and formed a lake in her lap.