Life in Fusion (38 page)

“Well a boyfriend maybe?”

“And he’d be sleeping in the second bedroom because?”

“When he’s mad ‘cause you won’t put out, for one.”

Gabe tried to shove me off him. “Don’t be mean—like I

wouldn’t want to have sex with my boyfriend.”

“I’m just teasing Sally Sensitive, sheesh.”

“I do actually like having sex you know.” Gabe frowned.

I gasped, placing a hand on my chest. “Lordy mercy, my little

Gabe’s all growed up.”

Gabe laughed at me.

“Finally ready to stuff his Italian sausage where the sun

doesn’t shine!”

“Ew!”

I made a grab for his bits, but he pushed away just in time.

“Is that what happened with Chip last month? Did you stick

it in him or did he fuck you?”

“That’s not…I’m not telling…we aren’t going to discuss

that…not that there’s anything to discuss!”

I tried to make another grab for his goods while he laughed,

yelling at me to stop it.

“Oh yeah, Chip…take that cock…you like your Italian

Stallion?” I said, pretending I was Gabe fucking Chip.

“You and the damn twins…always going on about sex, like

nothing else exists in the world.”

“Oh, really,” I said wigging my fingers in his face just before

shoving my hand back under water to make another attempt to

grab him by the balls. “So sweet little Gabriel bent over and took

a chunk of Chip up the ass?”

Gabe was grunting, trying to hold my hands away. “I don’t

bottom and you know it.”

284 Ethan Day

“Did he compare you to a car?” I grinned when he stuck

his tongue out at me, while we continued to struggle. “He was

awfully fond of the automobile reference when he tried to work

me.”

“Shut up, and no he did not.”

“Just tell me.” I finally started to whine. “Did you do him up

the butt? I wanna know, I wanna know!”

“Christ, fine…yes!” Gabe said. We froze.

My mouth fell open and his face went red. “You dirty whore!”

Gabe shook his head just before he slapped me hard on the

upper arm. “You are not my friend anymore, I hate you.”

I laughed as he turned, climbing up the steps to get out of

the water. I followed him out, reaching up and pinching his ass

just before he cleared the last step. He swatted at my hand but I

jerked it back to quickly.

I was feeling really evil now that I got that much out of him.

“I can’t believe you fucked him…you just met him.”

“Glass house much?” Gabe tossed back at me as he strode

toward the house. “And we didn’t fuck…I made love to him.”

“Does he know that?” I asked, watching Gabe get more

pissed. “Okay, Studly Do-No-Wrong, simmer down there.”

Once he reached the patio, he chucked one of the towels I’d

laid out for us back at me then picked up the other.

He began drying himself off. “Just don’t make it into

something dirty, okay?”

I held up my hands signaling my surrender and Gabe sat

down on one of the lounge chairs. I’d decided to leave them with

the house considering there wouldn’t be much need for them in

the snow covered mountains. Gabe finished running the towel

over his hair, dropping it onto his lap to cover his man parts. I

grinned, finding his shyness endearing in a weird way. I suppose

it reminded me of when we were younger. There were aspects

of his personality that hadn’t changed much since high school.

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285

“Will you hand me my glasses?” he asked, pointing in the

direction of the table where he’d left them.

I passed them to him before flopping down into the chair

next to him.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, you know.” Gabe leaned back

into his seat. “He worked me good.”

I laughed, placing a hand over my tummy. “Don’t lie, now. I

saw the way you looked at him.”

“Shut it.” He tried to smack me again, but I jerked my arm

away, causing him to rack his knuckles into the wrought iron. He

cursed, holding his hand as if he’d broken it.

“Just admit you wanted to plug his hot little ass,” I said,

laughing when he shot me a dirty look. “Denial is not your

friend, dude.”

“I may have found him attractive, but he was very persistent,

like seriously. He wouldn’t let up for an instant.”

“So he wore you down to the point you no longer had the

energy to say no? Gee, that’s romantic.”

Gabe frowned. “Why do you always have to push so hard

with me?”

“Because I love you, and it pisses me off when you lie to me

about things that would never change or alter our friendship to

begin with.”

“You shouldn’t take that personally.” Gabe sighed, not

bothering to deny it. “Considering I tell myself the same lies.”

I growled my frustration. “You’re crazy mother really did a

number on you.”

Gabe laughed. “She means well you know.”

“She’s certifiable.”

“No she’s not, she’s just an Italian momma. She worries a lot.”

“Dude, whenever she knew you had a date, she’d call during

the day while you were at work, leaving you those disturbing

messages—reading off detailed descriptions of what Jeffrey

286 Ethan Day

Dahmer did to his victims.”

“She actually still does that.” Gabe cringed, looking over at

me. “She only wants me to be safe. The whole gay thing wasn’t

easy for her.”

“Boo hoo,” I said, “You’re queer, not cancerous. She’s had

plenty of time to get the hell over it.”

“She’s a lot better about it now,” Gabe insisted. “You have to

admit that. You’re mom helped her a lot. Besides, you were lucky.

Your mom was actually happy you were gay.”

“I don’t know about happy,” I said.

“She did a little victory dance in the middle of her kitchen.”

I laughed, remembering that. Gabe and I had been downright

stunned. We’d agreed to go with one another when we told our

parents, for support and all. While I’d expected my parents to

handle it okay, I hadn’t been prepared for the sheer glee Dixie

seemed to exhibit. Dad was more in shock from my mother’s

reaction than he had been by the fact I was gay.

“Well your mom…cheered too,” I said.

“She yelled, cursing in Italian to be more exact,” Gabe

corrected. “Nice attempt to spin it though.”

“Hey, at least she wasn’t cursing directly at you, right?”

We both lost it, and I became further tickled, remembering

the way Roberta had looked with her hands flinging through the

air while her mouth ran amok. It was the first time I’d ever heard

anyone speak faster than me.

I watched as Gabe settled back down, staring out into space

and chewing on his lip. “Just be careful with Chip, okay?”

“I don’t have any expectations.”

He’d said it, but he wasn’t looking me in the eyes when it

happened so I was skeptical.

“Well I’m not buying into any of them,” he finally conceded.

“I promise.”

I sighed, hoping he meant it. It wasn’t like I knew Chip well

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287

enough to know he’d ruin Gabe if given the chance, but it was

sitting there in the back of mind…a fear in waiting.

“Wanna smoke a joint?” I finally asked.

Gabe smiled then glanced my way. “That sounds like a

horrible idea.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” I said getting up out of the chaise.

“The twins got it for us.”

“In that case, I know it’s a horrible idea.” Gabe stood up,

wrapping the towel around his waist.

I reached over and ruffled his hair before I followed his lead

with my towel. The way he looked up at me tugged at my chest a

little. I followed him into the house, thinking I still had one last

fear gnawing away in the back of my head. Hopefully the pot

would give me the courage to bring it up in some way, and I could

once and for all leave New Mexico behind, with no regrets.

It was now dark outside, the only illumination coming from

the light above the stove in the kitchen. I was laying flat on my

back, surrounded by throw pillows and staring up at the dulled

jewel tone colors of the sheets hanging above me. Glancing over

at Gabe, I smiled as he too was rubbing his full tummy. We’d

already gone through the giggles and the munchies, which I’d

had the forethought to prepare for. I’d purchased what had been

the staples of our early-teen diet: gummy bears and Doritos.

They mixed quite well with the pizza we’d ordered, having each

downed a couple of beers on top of it all. I’d already switched

back over to soda considering how tipsy I was from the combo

of drugs and booze.

“I still can’t quite believe you’re going,” Gabe said. “I mean, I

look around this house and I see all your stuff gone, so logically

I know you’re leaving—”

“But it doesn’t seem real?” I asked, cutting him off.

“Not even that so much as…unimaginable? Is that the right

word?”

I turned my head so I could see his face. “Don’t look at me,

this is your rant not mine.”

He chuckled under his breath. “It’s the end of an era, an end

to
our
era.”

“Jesus, maudlin much?” I asked, not sure if I should laugh

or cry. “I’m moving one state away, not being shipped off to a

galaxy far, far away.”

“I know, but it won’t be the same, you know that, right?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me if I know shit?” I sat

up, propping myself up on my elbows. “Like the obvious is now

lost on me?”

Gabe sat up as well, obviously wondering where the hell I was

going with this.

290 Ethan Day

“Am I suffering from memory loss from the wreck?”

Gabe rolled his eyes and lay back down. “You idiot.”

“Well it’s not like I’d be able to remember if I was…hello, I

wouldn’t be able to remember that I didn’t remember.”

“This is exactly why I said I’d never smoke pot with you

again.” Gabe sighed, sounding exasperated. “Your twisted brain

gets even more bizarro.”

I grinned, relieved. “I remember that.” I lay back down,

wiggling around until I got myself comfortable again.

My eyes were burning from want of sleep. The pot had

worked its magic. I felt more relaxed than I’d been since the

accident. All the tension and soreness from my body had bled

away, leaving only me and my thoughts.

“Can I ask you something without you getting weird or

upset?” I asked.

“Probably not,” Gabe said, snickering. “But that’s never

stopped you before.”

“This isn’t a conceit thing, so don’t even go there, but was

there ever a time…I mean you weren’t pissed off over my leaving

because—”

“You think I’m in love with you?” Gabe asked, grinning at me

as he lifted his head up.

“Okay, it sounds really awful when you say it.”

“Gee, thanks,” Gabe said, laughing again.

“I just meant, less plausible.” I rolled onto my side so I could

see him better. “I’d want to know if it were the case, that’s all.”

Gabe rolled onto his side as well. “There were times over the

years when I thought, maybe it could work.”

“Right, like there was a reason we’d been brought together at

such a young age.”

“You used that line back when we were in high school and you

were horny,” Gabe accused. “Like we’d been brought together so

we could jack each other off.”

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I busted out laughing, remembering that. “Well it did seem

awfully convenient, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Pervert.”

I was squinting, doing my best to gauge whether or not he

was being honest with me. It was difficult to tell with Gabe, since

he often admittedly lied to himself. I thought he was telling the

truth, but I had this bug up my butt and I needed to know one

way or the other. I felt my eyes widening and I reached over and

shoved him. “We should kiss.”

“What!” Gabe squealed, his voice shooting up into a high

pitched girlie shriek.

I was now laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe and he retaliated

by shoving me. I fell over onto my back trying to get my breath,

until I snorted like a piglet.

Gabe started laughing harder and he poked me in the side.

“Uh oh, little piggy coming out to play?”

I was sure I was going to die, barely able to catch my breath,

my eyes watering as I snorted again.

“Little piggy
is
coming out to play,” Gabe yelled, poking me

in the side once again.

It only happened when I laughed extra hard, and Gabe had

dubbed me piggy when were kids after the first time it happened.

“Stop,” I begged, hunching over, my stomach cramping up.

Gabe began to settle down, finally relenting.

I settled back down and we each stared at one another. I knew

Wade would probably have a friggin’ cow, but damn it I needed to

know Gabe wasn’t secretly in love with me, so he’d just have to

get the hell over it. Dixie had always said a man in love could still

lie to your face but he could never hide the truth in a kiss.