Life Begins (7 page)

I do admit that there was an awkward silence
after the milk incident. I did what every guy should do for his
friends. I acted like it didn’t happen and then put the girl down.
I have been doing that ever since. I have had to do it a lot with
Jack over the years. You would think that the man would have had
enough at some point and just dump the girl. He’s better than that.
He could have any other girl. She is just an obsession with him. So
if anybody is reading this and thinking that it is a love story,
you are pretty f’ed up yourself.

Their relationship didn’t improve any during
their teen years. It just got more disturbing. You’re going to be
hearing stories of jealousy and betrayal. Christine has dated a
large portion of the school. She started with the senior class and
worked her way down through the grades. She was seeing an 18
year-old when she was 15. She has a reputation as the biggest cock
tease in the school.

What makes all of this worse is that Jack
enjoys it in that sick way of his. I think they fight to make up.
She makes him jealous to get him to release some
passion.

I’m not sure what that passion is exactly.
Jack never talked about what happened that night in the tree house.
Guy code dictates that if you are a horny bastard and get to see a
girl naked before the rest of your friends, you have to tell them
what girls are like. It’s a bragging thing. He never said a word.
He got into his “feelings”. Who does that, except Jack? He could
have her and brag about it to the school, and he
doesn’t.

The only time I have ever seen him not be
jealous over one of the guys that she was dating was with this one
guy that used to hit her. I have been told that I can’t use his
name. It has always been something that has been left not really
talked about with them.

Christine was dating him to get back at Jack.
That was her way. Any guy that had typical male attributes or was
deemed a better man than Jack was the type that she would go out
with. I think this has always had to do with Christine and her
father insinuating that Jack was gay. The guy is thin and doesn’t
enjoy sports. But he is one of the horniest and most perverted guys
that you will ever meet. His biggest sexual perversion is his
obsession with Christine. The only way that he could be gay would
be if she had a pair. That wouldn’t really surprise me.

Anyway, this guy would hit Christine. He was
on the baseball team. He was the star of the team and took our
school to the state championship. It was the only time that I ever
saw Jack get mad. He couldn’t get Christine to understand his
anger. There was a righteous anger about him.

It was the only time I ever saw Jack drop the
charade with her and tell her exactly how he felt about her. He
couldn’t get her to understand the depth of his love for her. He
took her getting abused as a personal sin against himself. I have
never seen him fight so hard for anything.

He appealed to her father. He just acted like
she probably had it coming. Plus, he liked the boy. So what if he
hit Christine?

And it was the only time I have ever seen
Christine take anything off of a man. Usually she is more than any
man can handle. That is how she has gotten the reputation that she
has.

She finally broke up with him right around the
time of the Super Bowl. Jack was over at her house for the Super
Bowl.

They were sitting on the couch talking and
having a good time. Her boyfriend was having fun with the other
guys, including Christine’s father. He then told Christine to get
him something. She was too busy with Jack to really pay attention
to him. A fight ensued. The boyfriend was going to hit Christine.
Jack said that if he laid one finger on her that he would have him
in jail for the rest of his life.

There was some pushing back and forth. Then
the fists started flying. Jack landed a few good ones, considering
that he was smaller. He would get knocked down, but he kept getting
back up. He is a small guy, but you can not beat him until you
break his spirit. When he is fighting for something that he
believes in, you can never break his spirit.

I don’t think the fight would have ever ended,
except that Christine got hit trying to break them up. At that
point, Jack stopped everything to make sure that she was okay. Both
sides just kind of called it off.

The fight resumed later at school. They were
playing baseball in gym. The boyfriend threw a pitch at Jack’s
head. It was very intentional. He then struck Jack out and called
him a few names. Christine came up to bat after that. There were a
few taunts between her and her boyfriend. She then hit a line drive
into the man’s crotch, which I have to give her credit for. It was
some nice hitting.

She hit him so hard that he was actually
throwing up in the gym, which I didn’t know could happen. She just
kept rounding the bases. As she came home, she turned to him and
said, “And by the way, we’re through.” She then stepped on the bag.
Rumors were that the guy had to go to the doctor to get one of his
testicles to drop back down. It has never been proven.

Jack and Christine still did not get together
after that. I don’t know why. Jack told her exactly how her felt
about her.

She admitted to feeling the same way. Jack
said that it was because she wasn’t ready for a relationship. I
don’t know if he cared really. I think he was just happier that she
had broken up with the guy.

Somebody else probably came between them again
and kept them apart for the next few years. This guy was the only
one that really caused any problems between them. I don’t know
anything about it really. It is the one time Jack didn’t talk to me
about it.

Jack has always said that for a comedian, he
has bad timing when it comes to love. They never could get together
in a natural way. It took Melinda to get them together.

Melinda would have been a better fit for him.
I don’t think he loved her in the classic sense. She adored him. He
had no idea. Melinda just fit in with his friends, family, and
beliefs.

Jack and Christine are complete opposites.
There is nothing to bring them together. I would never put them
together as a couple. Christine is the princess. Jack is the class
clown/nerd. I think he knows it.

Since they have actually been a couple, I do
have to admit that she is starting to grow on me. I have seen some
things that make me think she is not so bad for him. He seems
happy.

Oh, I still think she is a bitch, but she is a
bitch that is growing on me. And she makes him happy. Who am I to
judge?

Christine and I do not discuss the
incident with the abuse. You will find very little mention of it in
this book. It was one of the more painful moments of my life. I
would rather go through my father’s death again than to go through
that part of my life.

I have talked to Christine and
decided to put a brief explanation of that period of our lives
here. I will keep it as detached as possible. It is not a time I
want to revisit.

Christine was dating the star athlete of the
school. He was exceptionally good at baseball. There was a great
hope that he would turn pro. He had much attention in the state
anyway. Our society has a way of idolizing people with athletic
ability. The man could get away with murder because of the
possibility of what he could become.

We were about fourteen at the time they
started dating. The guy was slightly older. He was quite a catch
for Christine. The first few months that they dated were okay. The
abuse didn’t start until about the third month.

It was slight in the beginning. He would grab
her and tell her to do stuff forcibly. She made an excuse for it
saying that she deserved it because she should have done what he
told her to do sooner. The actual hitting came later.

As they started to become more familiar with
each other, their personalities started to really get revealed.
Their masks were coming off. Christine’s mouth lost its filter, and
her spit fire personality came into conflict with the arrogant
prick’s asshole nature. (That is just an accurate description of
the man and not what I think of him. If it were what I thought of
him, I would not be able to print it. That defeats the purpose of
me writing.)

Anyway, they came into conflict. The abuse
became more pronounced. She continued to make excuses for it. She
always told me that she had it coming. She had done this or
that.

I tried to get her to see that she didn’t
deserve it. When I couldn’t convince her, I went to her father. He
only saw a future son-in-law. He also went with the line that she
probably had it coming and should have smacked her around some as a
child so that she would be a better person today.

I continued to try to reason with
her. After the fight broke out at the Super Bowl party, I told her
exactly how I felt about her. I didn’t spare any emotion. I told
her
everything
that I felt for her. And like the time in kindergarten, she
totally rejected me. But as she rejected me this time, she
comforted me. We spent the night together that night. We just held
each other. That would be the first time that we would do this. It
is what started that phase of our relationship.

Then came the incident at school. I don’t know
why his picking on me at school would cause her to break up with
him. I have never understood that about her. She has always
protected me and defended me.

On our first official date as a couple, we had
a fight. I wasn’t really speaking to her that night. We were
dancing, but I was lost in myself. Then her ex-boyfriend came up
and hit me. Well, he wasn’t actually her ex-boyfriend at the time.
She had kind of forgotten to tell him that they were no longer
dating.

Anyway, I am lying on the ground after he hit
me and getting ready to fight him. She signals for me to stay
there. She then starts to seduce him. As she does this, she slips
her hand down his pants and takes the bull by the horn, so to
speak. Her iron claw was not released until he understood that they
were no longer a couple.

I don’t know how she goes from being away from
me to fighting for me. She just has a way of handling a
man.

Arthur said something about me having a
righteous anger about her getting abused as if it were a sin
against me. I love Christine. Nothing pains me more than to see her
harmed. That is why I would rather go through my father’s death
again than to see her getting abused. My father’s death didn’t
destroy the core of my being. It was a loss. The bruises on
Christine destroyed my soul.

I can’t explain it. How do you put into words
a love so deep that you care more about another person than
yourself? I love her more than life itself. I would die for her if
I had to.

She hurt me more by taking the abuse than by
any time that she ever rejected me. The rejection I could take. The
abuse was a knife in the heart.

It’s kind of like when we are alone and she
tells me that she is ugly or fat. I tell her how beautiful she is.
I can’t get it through to her. It is like she doesn’t hear me. No
matter what I say, she doesn’t hear me. It tears me apart. It kills
me to see who I love most hate herself so much.

~~~

Sometimes I just feel fat or ugly.
He doesn’t need to tell me how beautiful I am. I mean, it’s nice,
but he doesn’t need to argue with me. I just want him to listen to
how I feel. He acts like he is an expert on my body. If he says I’m
beautiful, then I should feel beautiful.

And I don’t know why it hurts him
so. This one time in bed, I told him that I hated my body. He then
asked me what I hated most about myself. I told him something. I
don’t even remember now. You can probably ask him to find
out.

So he tells me that this body part
is going to be the part that he loves most about me. He loves even
what I hate most about myself. So he doesn’t love my eyes, smile,
or one of my sexy body parts. He loves some stupid part that I
hate. It is probably my appendix.

~~~

Okay. Do you think I am entirely happy with my
body? I know that I do not stack up to the other guys that you have
dated. Do you think that I like to be shirtless or naked around you
when I know that I am not handsome?

I just feel comfortable that way with you.
It’s a natural state for me. I wish I knew that I turned you on.
Girls have it so easy. They know when they turn on a man. Men never
really know when a woman is aroused by them.

~~~

I love your body. You are the
hottest guy that I have ever dated. There is just something about
you. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s that I know your body is
completely mine.

I don’t know. You aren’t the most
muscular man, but I love resting my head on your chest and having
your arms around me. It’s warm and inviting while being safe and
comforting. And it’s the smell of your skin. It’s the sound of your
voice as you talk to me. It sounds different when I hear it with my
head on your chest.

So don’t be telling me that you
wish you knew that I turned on. How many times do I have to say
that I want your [censored]? Would I be saying that if you didn’t
turn me on?