Life After (4 page)

After driving for several hours I’m about to ask Jenny for a pit stop. No, beg her I have to get out of this damn car. If I have to watch tree’s fly by one more time I’m going to go crazy. Rubbing my leg and wincing as I move she glances over at me with a sympathetic smile and pats my leg.

“Oh
my gosh how much longer is it going to take?” Wait…did I say that out loud?

“We’ll be there in a few minutes, sweetie.” Glancing at me she notices I’m going for the pill bottle. I guess I did say that out loud. Oops. “Is your leg hurting?”

Shrugging, not really I just want to be oblivious right now. I twist open the pill bottle and reach for my water but Jenny’s hand flashes out taking the pill bottle from me.

“Try and hold off on the pain pills until we get to the house.  Andrew or Avery might not be there to help get you in the house
if  you fall asleep.”

Glaring at the pill bottle in her hands it’s all I can do not to snatch it back from her. Grumbling I turn away towards the window and stare at the lush Texas landscape.  Jenny drops the pill bottle back into my lap and I sprinkle a couple onto my palm, contemplating taking them.

“Who’s Avery?”

Putting the pills back into the bottle, I snap the cap back on. Holding it in my hands I shake it letting those pills slide back and forth, enjoying the sound of them hitting the bottle. I await Jenny’s answer as I continue to stare out of the window. Caressing the cylindrical shaped bottle calms me.

“Avery is Andrews’s younger brother. He came to live with us when his mom died and Avery’s dad is very hard to live with. He liked to use his fists on Avery.” Jenny scrutinizes me before turning her attention back to the road. “Hadley, he was at your house at the little get together we had after the funeral.”

“What did he look like?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Obviously not.”

“He carried you up to your room after your drunken revelry.”

Oh God. My stomach sinks to my feet. I remember him now, pierced guy. The guy I
kissed, the one I threw myself at. Oh crappity crap crap. “I remember him, ” I grumble, but I wish I didn’t.

I wasn’t expecting to live with anyone, let alone Jenny and Andrew. I didn’t know what I’d be doing after the accident, but living with a guy I drunk kissed wasn’t on the list.
Great.  I wonder how it’s going to be living with them since other than birthday cards and Christmas presents I really don’t know them.  After what feels like forever we pull up to a really cute brick house with blue trim and bright  pink door. I turn to Jenny, bewildered, my mouth gaping open. Looking at the other houses they all have normal colored doors. What. The. Hell?

“What’s with the door?” I ask waiting for Jenny to give me a hand out of the truck. Lifting my sunglasses up I have to
double check to make sure I’m seeing this door correctly. Who paints a door neon pink? Jenny laughs at my shock and it’s one of the first laughs I’ve heard in the past few days.

“It was a bet between Andrew and me. If my football team did better in the season than his he had to paint the door neon pink.” She wrenches the passenger side door open, my crutches in hand.

“I never go with a losing team and I know it seems stupid but it’s all in good fun. I’m only going to leave it up for a few more months,  make him suffer.”

“Well at least
I’ll always be able to see the door.”

“True story.”
She holds my crutches out to me and moves to get the bags, but stops, seeming to contemplate her telekinetic ability to move the bags into the house without touching them. Tilting her head she chews on her lip, meeting my eyes. 

“Let’s let Andrew get your bags and be all manly about
it.He might grunt and scratch his um stuff but ignore him. He acts like an animal. I don’t let him around many people.”

Jenny reaches in and honks the horn and we wait. She looks at me,
rolls her eyes and honks again. A few minutes later a very tall and very fit man emerges from the house smiling. He looks like the football player type and bears a striking resemblance to Peyton Manning.

“This better be Hadley.” He winks at me and turns his attention to Jenny.

“No, I kidnapped this girl from a few states over.” Jenny smacks him on the arm and looks over at me. “Like I said, don’t mind Andrew, sometimes he acts his shoe size and not his age.”

I hold out my hand to shake his, only he doesn’t go for the hand and envelopes me
ina huge bear hug. As I hang their dangling from his massive gripI wonder if this man knows about personal space. Struggling out of his grip, I glance at him again.

“Has anyone told you that you look a lot like Peyton Manning?”

Jenny starts laughing so hard she’s bending over, bracing her hands on her knees.

“What?”

Andrew puts his arm around my shoulders as we stare at Jenny. “It’s like this,” he starts off, “I’m not a big Bronco’s fan and he’s playing for the Bronco’s, so we don’t mention Manning in the house until he’s with a different team.”

Jenny composes herself, smiling ruefully at Andrew and like moths to flame he gravitates to her, planting a kiss on her lips. I shield my eyes because they may as well be having sex in broad daylight.

I overhear Jenny’s quiet voice. “Can you help Hadley with her stuff? She needs to eat, lay down and take her pain pills in that order.”

Andrew steps back and gives her a mock salute. “Yes ma’am,” he says bursting into laughter as he grabs my bags and barrels into the house.

Blearily I follow them inside not  bothering to talk. What I see of their house is really nicely decorated with beige walls and sayings all over the place. Jenny shows me my roomas Andrew  sets my stuff down.

“Don’t be afraid to let Jenny or me know if you need anything. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen as well. This is your home now and we want you to be as comfortable as possible here.”

I nod even though I don’t know what to say. I want to ask about Avery and get this proximity thing in check. Avoidance is the key.

“Avery is at school then headed to his job afterwards so you won’t meet him until at least tomorrow. Don’t be surprised if you hear him coming in late. . Don’t attack him or anything. He comes and goes at random hours because of his work and, school and it’s more of a roommate situation rather than parental type.” He stops, noticing my mangled expression.

“Too much information for now?”

I simply shrug and nod. It’s way too much information. Nice information but way too much for right now. All I want is a bed. Stopping at the door he awkwardly he clears his throat, “I’m sorry about your loss.”

Yeah, me too buddy.

Nodding, I grimace as he shuts the door behind him. Looking around but not really seeing I find the bed. Fumbling around my purse I pull out my phone charger and plug my phone in. Grabbing the bottled water from my purse, I set it on the nightstand. I
line the pill bottles on the nightstand so they’re well within reach. Looking over at the bottles I check for the ones I need for sleep. Who knew such small pills made such a huge impact on everything?

Swallowing the pills I grimace, I hate swallowing pills. I no longer check the amount of pills I should take, instead just toss them in my mouth swirling them around before swallowing them with water. It wouldn’t be the end of the world to me if I took too many and didn’t wake up.

Switching on the small TV across from the bed I don’t even bother taking my clothes off and lay on top of the comforter watching the glow from the TV and waiting for the pills to take effect. Minutes later, my body sinks into a restless sleep. Pills can’t even keep the nightmares away.

The shrill sound of sirens somewhere in the neighborhood brings me back to the scene of the accident where I am again watching it unfold. The squealing of the brakes right before impact is so loud and I had no time to brace for the impact. The airbags popped out like they were supposed to the side ones knocking into my head making it slam to the side. The glass explodes around us in slow motion, time seems to stand still as I watch it rain down on me.

I can smell the blood, the copper filling my nostrils. I’m not sure how long it took the ambulance to get to us being that I was in and out of consciousness but I clearly remember opening my eyes and not understanding why my sister was pushed up limp next to me or why my mom wouldn’t answer my cries. I distinctly remember seeing the glass in my skin only I felt no pain. It was as if I was hearing everything underwater and I was drowning. How can I live after something like this?

Waking up in a strange room is always weird. Looking around at the unfamiliar furniture and my bags it all quickly comes back to me. I feel around for my phone to check the time, fumbled and drop it twice before managing to keep hold of it so I can see the time. Throwing my head back down on the pillow it’s only seven am, way too early to be awake. Groaning, I pull the covers over my face, letting the darkness of the blankets lull me back to sleep. I have no urge at all to get out of the bed and talk to people or even be human at the moment.

***

Stretching I push the covers off my head
and see the sun is shining brightly in my face, I take in the room I’ve been stashed in. It’s plain and white but it does have a pretty cool window seat. Glancing at my phone I see it’s already one o’clock. Hearing some strange noises coming from somewhere in the house I grab the crutches and hobble into the hallway,, not even bothering to slow down to change out of my pajama’s. I’m not sure  what I expect to see but I wasn’t expecting Jenny,, Andrew and several guys my age in the kitchen all splayed out.

The smell of sweat and male body odor hits me and I go to cover my nose against the foul smell and fail to see the football gear sitting on the floor when my crutch hits it. Falling backward I close my eyes and wince expecting to hit the floor only I never reach it, instead  warm arms wrap around me and pull me back up.

My eyes are still closed and my long hair is covering my face. With my face feeling like it’s on fire I quickly right myself, get my crutches and head down the hall. I don’t want to be here. My melancholy mood is wearing me down, hell I can’t even walk properly anymore.  Stumbling into my room I hit the wall screaming inside. I’m not used to making a fool of myself. It’s a new and unwelcome feeling.

It’s one thing to look like a freak
, busting into the kitchen on crutches but another to totally embarrass myself in front of people I have to live with. Sitting down on the bed I put my hands to my scarlet cheeks to cool them off. A knock on the door interrupts my black thoughts. The door opens, and in walks Jenny carrying a plate piled high with steaming food and a glass of orange juice.

“I figured you
might want me to bring you some,” she says walking over placing the orange juice on the dresser. “I’m sorry about all the guys in the kitchen. I should have come in here and warned you, but I guess we’re all still adjusting.” She shrugs.

“Thanks, Jenny.” Taking the plate from her I place it on my nightstand. Seeing her looking over at my suitcases I need to apologize since I don’t know if I embarrassed her or not, better safe than sorry. “I want to apologize for embarrassing you like that, barging into the kitchen and all.”

Waving off my words she walks towards me and hugs me randomly. “It’s no biggie, you didn’t embarrass me. We all just have to get used to having another person in the house. Andrew brings some of his team over here sometimes after practice to go over new plays and they sometimes eat breakfast and leave their crap all over the floor. Luckily, you were caught or else you would have taken quite a tumble to the floor.” She walks around the room opening the blinds and fluffing pillows. “You might want to say thank you to Avery though.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

“Because he’s the one who caught you.”

Blushing I
look at the floor. Geez, Avery keeps saving me; maybe I should change his name to freaking Superman? “Roger that,” I say thinking in the back of my mind that I need to start a list of reasons to thank this Avery person. Looking at my plate I start nibbling on my food lost in thought when a random thought pops into my mind.

“Does Avery play football?”

Jenny laughs like I asked the funniest question ever. “No, Avery wouldn’t touch a football to save his soul he is more of a watcher.” Laughing some more she leaves closing the door to my room.

Shaking my head, okay that was weird. I wait a few minutes to make sure she isn’t coming back before I start thinking about the pills. Picking up the bottle I push the food away.

Looking at the white pills and can’t help but regard them as a way to end it all. I mean seriously, how easy it would be to take them all and stop the pain and emptiness that fills my conscience right now.  It’s so very tempting; if I let them they could easily seduce me into doing it.

It’
s as if I can hear the pills calling to me;
take me, take me,
they say. Luckily they can’t really talk so I shut those thoughts off. I resist the urge to take more than I should and swallow them with the orange juice.